A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well ive been with my girlfriend for about 3 years, it's weird she never brings me around her house, never wants to have sexIt comes to a point were I have to literally ask her if we are ever gonna have sex or not.. Its sadShe broke up with me and after couple weeks she added some guy on fb, 2 days later she invited him over, had sex , oral and like pretty much everything.He slept over her house after like 2 hours of knowing her. There has always been rumors about my girlfriend, i never beleived them till i saw how easy she isWell things have been really out of control, she doesn't seem to want to satisfy me, and is always in a bad mood, and literally has the worst attitude everWhat should i do? Is she ashamed Of me? I have a good job, nice car .The guy she had a fling with drove a bike to places*im typing from a mobile phone sorry for grammer and etc
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2011): I just want to point out that having a good job and a nice car does not make people like you, well, not necessarily anyway.
A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (3 July 2011):
 Hi,I don't understand why you feel this way? NO, she's not ashamed of you... Sorry to say, but she's just NOT INTO YOU. I don't want to hurt you, but she's clearly using you, not sure, but do uou buy her things, give her money?Common, you sound like a nice, smart guy, why are you still with her after 3 years? Are you telling me that you haven't had sex in 3 years? Obviously, she's not a virgin, or have self respect if she has sex with a guy she just met (2hrs?) And have sex?Doesn't matter if you have a good job, nice car and the other guy has a bicycle? Bottom line is that sometimes, no matter how perfect you are, how wonderful or nice you are to her, she doesn't see you as a boyfriend. Love is something you feel, its not about how much you have, how much you do, how good looking you, etc...I am not sure what her intensions are, but she's not a good person, because she's not being honest with you. You wasted 3 years already?? Move on... You are young, deserve someone that will love you and accept you just the way you are. YOU DESERVE BETTER!Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (3 July 2011):
 Hi
After 3 years of being together and still not been intimate with eachoter, is no wonder your upset and confused, I mean yeah dont rush into anything but this is taking the buiscuit!!! This pathetic excuse of a woman is using you for something, I just dont understand what!
You obviously really care for her to have put up with this for so long,but you have to take a reality check here hun and move on, let her go, because your stopping yourself from meeting a real woman who will know how to treat her man. For one if I am inlove with a man I would want to spend every bit of my spare time with him, I would want to be as close and as intimate as I could, and I would definatley want to show him off to my friends and family. You sound like you have little confidence in yourself, and it's a shame you feel you need to put with this womans behaviour :( please be strong and move on? you are worth 10 times more than she is and she DOES NOT DESERVE YOU!!! xxx
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A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (3 July 2011):
 Hello, You have a nice job and a nice car yet you continue to put up with this rubbish. The whole situation you have is awful and this girl is treating you with no respect. Don't hang around, throw this in the rubbish bin. Why put up with this? Please look after yourself and look for other opportunities. You are not responsible for her bad attitude and moods. Let her go. One way of doing this is just simply disappear and don't acknowledge her anymore. It is not a nice thing to do but you really are being treated badly so why even offer any break up speech. Take care.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (3 July 2011):
 and as a postScript to my previous answer, No, I do not think she is ashamed of you. She is just thoughtless. She also has not been truthful enough to tell you that she has already broken up with you emotionally.
Moving on, by you, is the right thing for you to do.
Best wishes
Abella
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (3 July 2011):
hi,
You do not deserve this. And this girl is just not into you.
Clearly you are a nice responsible guy. There are some gorgeous nice girls who will appreciate you 100 percent more than this girl.
This egg is scrambled, it's never going to become as it was at the beginning.
You are a nice loyal faithful guy. You have a good job, nice car, and you sound like a nice guy.
Maybe your self esteem needs a bit of a boost. But you can work on that.
And maybe you trusted this girl far more than you should have.
This girl is disrespecting you on every level. I am not even sure if she even deserves a good bye. By her own actions, she clearly said 'good bye' to you emotionally a long time ago.
There is a term 'cuckoldry' - that's what she has allowed to happen. By allowing you to think you are still together, while inviting other men into her bed.
It's not very honorable of her to allow this to happen.
Make this an opportunity to learn and grow. With any future girl, keep an eye on the actions.
A girl who cares and likes you will want to spend more time with you. Not less.
And she will share her hopes and dreams with you and not keep secrets.
Also next time try to avoid a girl who is easily persuaded too early in the relationship to have sex. A nicer girl will want to discover more about you, and hopefully you will too, before you push sex to the fore too early.
While I do accept that sex, very early in the relationship, does happen, especially with Very Strong attraction present, but there are other times when that does not happen, despite Very Strong attraction.
The novelist DH Lawrence being one such example of someone who ignored society conventions and bedded a woman the moment he perceived an attraction existed.
Just allowing sex very very early in a relationship does not prove their is a 'connection.' It can indicate that one or both of the parties have low self esteem,
or it may indicate a more shallow attitude to sex, instead.
Meet a range of girls before you choose one where you feel the strongest attraction.
The next time you find a girl you really like please take it slowly, spend time with her. Get to know her really well. Meet her friends. Introduce her to your friends.
Don't go on and on about this failed three year relationship. Just simply tell her, if she asks, that it faltered after three years because she was unfaithful to you.
Let the new girl tell you all about her hopes and dreams. Go on nice outings. Keep it simple. But always look at her actions not just her words.
And if it is not working, then talk about it over. Do not let it limp along,
I wish you much more happiness in the future. Things can only get better
Abella
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (3 July 2011):
 So your GF had sex with another man and you're still wondering what you should do??! Why are you two even together? And how do you know that did all the sexual stuff with the other guy?
Look, if she is really this way, then you should break up with her. She clearly has no concern for you and she's acting as if you dont even exist in her life. Why she's doing all this, is something that only she can tell you, we can only just guess.
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