A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How would we know that we are sexually compatible with our partner??? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (4 July 2011):
 may the beautiful chemistry and happiness continue and grow.
A lovely follow up, I enjoyed reading it, thank you.
Abella
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Abella that was very inspiring story...
I'm already in a long time commitment and just want to know if my guy and me are sexually compatible.
Your right even for how many times we have already slept together I can still feel the spark and the excitement just like the first time we met...
It seems I still can't get enough of him..
Although he is the first guy I have slept with and probably the last I still feel he is very good since he always make sure I'm satisfied before we sleep and I do the same for him...
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (2 July 2011):
 If you have to ask the question,it means you're either afraid of the answer or you're not yet compatible. You'll know when you no longer feel te need to ask the question aloud.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (2 July 2011):
I meant 'platonic' not the incomplete word I used in that which I wrote below folks
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (2 July 2011):
Hi,
This is a great question. And demonstrates why you don't need to have sexual relations (yet) with a guy you are already compatible with sexually.
If you really already 'feel' the sexual chemistry then get to know the person first. Because if there is a 'spark' then there is hope for much more than sex, thus you do better to get to know the guy more, rather than trying sex first.
This chemistry is why you probably should not bother to go further with a guy anyway, if you do not feel the 'spark' already.
Although there are also times when you must/should not even if you feel the spark. That's if he is already married, in a relationship, or a player - all guys you should not waste time on.
If there is chemistry?:
First you will generally feel an overwhelming comfortable feeling of trust between the two of you.
Your eyes connect long before your heart. You see the almost undeniable warmth, the way the eyes are - not squeezed up/frowning. Not disapproving. Not judgemental. But instead a guard let down.
You will see an absolute curious unlimited interest in you, by the guy.
I can recall the moment my second husband said, 'I want to know everything about you, everything' He had known me only a short time and I thought that a bit pushy, since we only saw each other as work colleagues then. Although at the time we were at a lunch, surrounded by people.
Yet he made me feel as if we were the only 2 people on the planet. I can even still recall what I was wearing.
I came to look forward to seeing him. He altered his schedule so he could see me more, even though we were patonic for ages.
He told me later that he knew three weeks after meeting me at work (and only visiting my work mind you) that he would marry me, but did not tell me initially as he knew it would freak me out.
But when I was with him I felt so relaxed, so comfortable, so complete. We communicated really well. Still do. And we can be very honest with each other. Even if we disagree we can do it in a healthy respectful way.
With compromise when required. Because the relationship is still more important than some paltry insignifican issue.
He allowed things to progress slowly, because he 'read' me so well. But if he touched my hand I felt a frizzon of electricity go through my arm. He told me later that the same happened to him.
His first kiss was tender, rather than sexual, yet touched me.
There is a suffusion of good feelings that spreads through one when we communicate.
You feel the butterflies in your tummy when you know you will see them that day, even if just in a meeting.
Their eyes fall in love with your eyes and vice a versa.
That is why delaying sex is so much better.
It sorts out the genuine real guys who are really meant for you. Versus the shallow guys who will not stick around.
Never be afraid to delay sex for as long as you wish to delay it, until you are really comfortable and relaxed more in a relationship. The coming together when it happens is so sweet. Because you have allowed that slow build up of tension, knowing it is meant to be.
And preferring and choosing to get to know every little nuance about your guy.
Then you get to know each other in a whole great new way when you do come together.
The only thing you ''gain????'' if you go straight to sex too early in a new relationship is the string of shallow players who will 'love you and leave you'
And who need to move on, because they are only interested in the sex. Not in you, and nor in a relationship. And who do not share sexual chemistry with you. Because to those guys you are just another notch on his bed-post.
Hope that helps,
Abella
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (2 July 2011):
 if:
the sex is satisfying for you both
your sex drives are at similar level
you are both be happy to please each other
you are able to TALK about what you want/enjoy
you are confident to try new things to spice things up if needed..
that means you are compatible
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