A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, I am a 30 year old that have trouble finding a date or even attracting women.I hate to sound conceited but I am described as good looking, I have a good job, dress well, have my own car and place. 1, I have no idea where to look or even find a date beside the occasional trip to the bar or gym. 2, on the rare occasion that I meet someone, I sense no interest from their end at all.I have very few interests outside of playing, watching sports, going to the movies, occasionally going to a bar for a drink or 2. My job is male dominated so meeting anyone there is almost impossible.The past 2 dates that I have been on (with the last 1 being 8 months ago) both ended in absolute disaster.I see everyone around me attracting other females and even some guys being asked on dates but no lady gives me the time of the day or even look at my direction.I have always been confident but this has shaken my confidence to the point that I even asked my 20-year old cousin what she thought of me and I was reassured when she said I looked good and that her best friend thought I was hot. I know there's more than that but I also have a pretty good personality and fun to be around.I have no idea what's going on but being lonely is really starting to suck.Any advice would be appreciated.
View related questions:
best friend, confidence, cousin Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (2 July 2011):
i would relax smile be friendly and chatty when you meet people don,t talk about yourself to much or you will come off as being arrogant ask about her what interests she has etc
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (2 July 2011):
 Remember that everyone on the planet likes to talk about themselves, which means that you should avoid talking about you (too much) and let her talk about herself. You do not want to be overly evasive or secretive, but even if you have to chide your prospective lady friend a bit (some will be very shy), try to sincerely be interested in her and her feelings. As "Abella" suggests, keep it light and positive, and try to be funny whenever possible (always with an endearing smile). Do that and all else may simply fall into place.
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (2 July 2011):
 Hi,
Do you have lots of close good buddies male friends? If not then you may well be finding it difficult to be friends of either sex.
Are you a workaholic and very driven? If yes that can turn girls off.
Your conversational skills may need a little tweaking.
We give out so many vibes and when people meet us for the first time they process millions of little clues in seconds, without even realising it.
Verbal and non verbal clues about who we are. Communication is far more than how you present, what you wear, what you say.
One thing that does attract women is a genuine confidence and a positive happiness. Some not physically appealing guys can still get girls. But they are very confident and observant.
Don't approach any girl until you have observed all the girls at least twice in the room. Know your 'type.' how is she dressed, what shoes. Her demeanor. Her hair, shoes, hands, nails.
Is she with a group or alone? Approach a girl on her own or once she has been separated from 'her group'
Listen to how she speaks. Ask her 'open' questions that start with 'What?' these require an answer that is more than yes or no.
Listen intently, rapt, to her answer. Like she is the most important girl there.
Do not extoll your virtues, nor your interests as it turns girls off.
Keep things light. Positive. Not sleazy. Always respectful and pleasant
Good luck
Abella
...............................
|
