A
female
age
30-35,
*ivejust2bJess
writes:My fiance and I are trying to conceive a baby. however we are both little over weight and well...he is kind of small down there. I'm not very comfortable being on top, but everytime we have sex, his penis doesnt stay in. We both very much want a child, but how can we when our sex life is kind of difficult? Is there any thing that we can try to make things work and try to conceive? Help is very much wanted and appreicated!
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conceive, fiance, sex life, want a baby Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 July 2011):
 SMO: super morbidly obese a medical term.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): SMO?
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 July 2011):
here are some websites that can help find workable sexual positions... when I was SMO married to an SMO man we had to be very very creative with sexual positions:
http://www.futurescopes.com/love-and-sex/750/sex-positions-fat-people-making-love-when-youre-obese
http://www.more2hug.com/sex3.html
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/dimtext/positions/fat_sex.html
http://www.rotunda.com/people/yohannon/fat_position.html
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 July 2011):
 Lots of women conceive using artificial insemination. You could try yourself with a turkey baster if he has trouble ejaculating in your vagina.
I think I'm with the people who say it's probably a better idea to sort out your own health issues first and THEN try to conceive a baby. There are so many more complications in mothers who are obese or severely overweight than those who are healthy and fit before they go into a pregnancy.
I would suggest you start with your OB/GYN and get a full physical; she can also tell you what supplements you should be taking, like folic acid and that type of thing. She can help you by giving you medical advice suited to your individual requirements, including weight loss if that is appropriate.
You don't say how 'overweight' you are but I suspect it's not just a matter of 10 or 20 lbs, or that wouldn't have been mentioned. If your sex life is that difficult, it's probably a sign that you need to address these other issues before trying to conceive.
Look, I know what it's like to be bigger. I have had my own battle with weight and I know it's not easy. But the thing is that you CAN be fit and healthy if you make the changes to your life that will set you on the right path.
Maybe wanting a baby is the thing that will get you to a healthier place and that is good all around, for the new baby to have healthy parents who will live longer and will have the energy to chase them around the house. Healthier parents will also be less likely to have obese or overweight children. I see it in my own friends; those who are heavy and sedentary tend to have heavy, sedentary children. You can almost see the fat building up in their young little arteries. The ones who are out riding bicycles and playing tennis have active, healthy-looking children.
Now, I have friends who are larger who are in great health, they are physically active and have good cholesterol, fine blood pressure, good glucose numbers. You don't have to be a twig to be healthy.
My point is that you need to determine where you are in terms of your health, weight being a part of that, but there are so many other factors that influence that.
Get yourself a game plan, starting with seeing your doctors and then you'll be off with a winning strategy to have a healthy baby.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Battista  +, writes (11 July 2011):
What do you mean when you say a little overweight? If you are talking about a couple of kg then I don't see how that would make much of a difference and wouldn't mean that many, if any positions are impossible for you. How much is a little?
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A
male
reader, Boy X +, writes (11 July 2011):
I'd suggest both losing a little weight before trying to conceive. Diet and exercise for about 4-6 months and then try, it should be easier to have sex, conceive, and your body will be better prepared when it comes to actually giving birth.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): How about waiting until you get married and THEN trying for a baby??
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A
female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (11 July 2011):
first off bt you both being over weight it will make it harder for you to conceive a baby before you start trying i would suggest that both of you lose some weight first try eating plenty of fruit and vegetables and rather than snacking on crisp and chocolate or whatever try eating raisins or fruit something like that and also when you do try for a baby start taking folic acid about a month before as for him only being small i would try positions in which it stays in like spoons or you on your stomach good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): 1. artificial insemination?? why not?
2. adoption? why not? (I personally am all for adoption because I believe that with over population and the fact that there are so many children and babies orphaned and abandoned who already exist, that if one really wants to welcome a child into their family there's plenty children who would welcome that opportunity)
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A
female
reader, Christian +, writes (11 July 2011):
well i think u should try to loss a little waight because being over waight can be bad when ur pregnant...it will be healthier for ur baby. Maybe u two could do this together...but getting pregnant is all about the right time of the month... Knowing ur cycles...and patince...u dont acualy ovulate all the time only about three days a month...but semion can servive for three days in your body. Do so research i found out when i was ovulated and have conceved twice the first time....also do some research on pregnancy and obecity.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (11 July 2011):
 Hi
I do hope you both get great joy from bringing a baby into the world.
Some time ago I read an article about an experiment where two groups were assembled. All in the age group 20 to 30. All wanting to get pregnant and all with a very high BDM meaning that all were very noticably overweight. That may not be the case for you, so this suggstion may not work.
But half the group were to continue eating as they normally did and not try to lose weight.
The other group had to try to eat less, walk more and also increase the amount of leafy green vegetables and fruit in their diet and cut back on the amount of fat and carborhydrates and sugar filled soda.
Both groups continued to actively try to get pregnant.
At the end of the experiment the first group had all lost 10 per cent of their body weight. Some more. Most of the women in the first group were now also pregnant.
In the second group none had lost weight. Some even gained more weight. And none were pregnant.
Now it could have been a fluke.
But it sure sounded like losing a little bit of weight might help. I am still waiting to hear if he Doctors do another study like that, to see if they can replicate the results?
Hope all goes well.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): A big way to make it easier is to lose a little weight- it is proven that weightloss helps concieve, and should also improve your sexlife.
Also reducing your alcohol intake (if any), give up smoking (if you do), and finnally work out your ovulation clock if you havnt already.
Although they say your best time to conceive is the two week inbetween, I've found with my 5 pregnancies I have alway convieved straight away when I've come off my period! Its worked every single time, so the second you come off grab your man for some nookie. I gaurantee you that is the best technique.
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