A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello Agony Aunts, Uncles, cousins, sisters, brother, etc. Please help! I have been in a relationship with a really sweet guy for about a month now and we'd been good friends awhile before, and we drive each other crazy and talk for hours and get on really well when we're together in person But I am horrible at talking to him through messaging or email, I just can't find the words but I'm fine over the phone or in person, but our phone's don't get very good signal so it's hard to have a phone conversation and even though we see each other nearly everyday. he keeps trying to talk to me in the evenings through messages and I freeze and cannot think of anything to talk about. How do I have a virtual conversation with him? I don't know why this is happening, it doesn't with my friends, and he has also said it is difficult finding things to talk about through messaging, we both want to keep the conversation going but we don't know what to say. Do any of you run into problems like this? Or know how to keep up a conversation? Please help, I think part of my problem is my shyness, but I'm not as shy as I used to be, I recently came out of my shell so to speak and I'm not too bad with my friends anymore but my mind draws blank after awhile when it comes to messaging. Any and all advice and help welcome please :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2011): Would talking on the skype phone over the internet be a possibility?
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (4 July 2011):
 Hi
Go on Twitter, temporarily, with a name that does not suggest you. So if you don't like Paris call yourself "Eiffel" or a variation. If you DO love Paris then call yourself "Merlin" instead of "Eifell" or a variation on Merlin. I suspect that both those names have long ago been taken already on Twitter.
Follow some people who like something you like on Twitter.
Then message comments on things you notice and comments on what they have to say. And Re-tweet things that interest you. This is not forever. These people do not know you. Practice returning conversation to complete strangers.
It is very hard to learn to speak to complete strangers, but you will get your confidence using something as anonymous as Twitter. After all they do not know you, and too bad if they disagree with you.
Those who follows politics are less likely to try to get to know you as a friend. But follow one of the pop stars and you are likely to be pestered by guys. Put Nothing in your profile to show identifying detail on Twitter. Besides it is only Temporary.
You will get better at coming up with a comment off the top of your head.
Once you are more confident with complete strangers it is more likely that you will grow in confidence at responding to things he says.
Then you can close your twitter account and start experiementing with online conversation with your guy.
The thing is he likes you. He is your friend. He is not going to judge you (or he should not).
Often that fear of saying the wrong thing comes from a worry that you will say something to someone you admire and want to impress. So someone you know, but you do still need to build up more trust, can be very worrying if you are worrying about him judge you.
Remind yourself that he is your friend.
But also cut back a little. No one can come up with scintillating fascinating earth shattering conversation all day, every day.
Do some other activities when you are not messaging. Then you will have more to talk about when you do get back together.
Best Wishes
Abella
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