A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i really liked a guy last summer, we hung out a few times, then i went to school. this summer, we've been talking a lot more and we're getting pretty close. but fall time is coming and we're going to different colleges. Is it worth the time to try and start anything? i'm pretty surprised i didn't meet anyone as wonderful as him when i was at school last year so i'm wondering if the same will happen with him...? ideas? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (4 July 2011):
 You can still be friends. Even keep in touch from time to time, including with friends of your friend. That does not have to change.
But since you hardly know him, other than as friends, why start a Long Distance Relationship before you've had time to really bond, with many shared experiences as special friends, when he is about to go away?
Long Distance Relationships are notorious hard to sustain. If you don't hear from him you wonder what he's doing, who he's seeing. And vice versa.
If you had already been together as special friends, for some time, then you would have all manner of things to reminisce about. Memories, little in jokes that no one else 'gets'. You remember his smell, the feel of his hands, etc. Little aspects, nuances, aspects you each love about each other. Films you've seen together, books you've discussed. Places you've been together. Feelings you have discussed.
Starting a new LDR too early could mean that the relationshop runs out of traction,
Before it's hardly started.
Make sure you get on with your life, but interact with him in a relaxed way, when opportunity permits.
In the meantime keep fit, enjoy enjoy life and keep positive. Don't close yourself to good experiences. Because he will not.
If he's smart he's unlikely to run off to get married to another girl in the next 12 months.
He probably has links to family where you live now? If so stay friendly with his family, without asking about him in a very obvious way.
But later, if you want to win him then still keep a little mystery. Don't be too accomodating, but do always remain pleasant. Let him do the asking. Let him do the running. And if he really wants to develop it into something more next time and you are both in the right place at the right time, then maybe it can develop over next summer?
It's a long time to wait. But sometimes the best things come to those who wait, very patiently.
Best wishes for this long term project
Regards,
Abella
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