A
female
age
26-29,
*oseLovex
writes:Im sick of feeling alone and depressed all the time, i have moments when im really happy then my mood can suddenly change i try to tell my mum and dad but they never listen they are like 'oh sure course theres always something wrong with you' etc noone understands me i feel like i get treated the worst im always doing jobs and my brothers arent im always the one that gets blamed for everything im sick of being bullied by my brothers im sick of crying all the tiime im sick of noone understanding im sick of everything! i just need some help:(
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female
reader, RoseLovex +, writes (22 January 2012):
RoseLovex is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks everyone you really helped i just feel as though a part of me is missing and i just dont feel like me any more i feel empty?
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (22 January 2012):
 Here are the Bullying links I think might help you? Biderman's Chart of Coercion helped me a lot to deal with a bully
regards
Abella
Bullying links
http://bullyoffline.org/workbully/index.htm
http://www.overcomebullying.org/bullying-links.html
Bullying at school
http://www.bullying.com.au/school-bullying/index.php
Social network bullying
http://www.privacycom.org/content/release-19-child-safe
why do people bully
http://notcooltobecruel.com/why_do_people_bully.htm
Ostracism - ignoring and isolating a person
http://williams.socialpsychology.org/
http://www1.psych.purdue.edu/~willia55/Announce/cyberball.htm
Biderman’s Chart of Coercion – how an abuser does it
http://www.familyshelterservice.org/pdf/bidermans_chart_of_coercion.pdf
Helping parents understand social network bullying
http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/media_teenagers.html/context/1108?s_kwcid=TC|14513|social%20networking||S|b|11519688691&gclid=CLD
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (21 January 2012):
Do you know where your nearest Citizen's advice bureau is? They can do some marvellous things. I think you need a heart to heart talk with an non-family (but professional - ie the great people in the Citizen's Advice bureau).
They can give you impartial advice.
They can suggest options available in your area.
I suspect that they will suggest a visit to the doctor re what sounds like depression.
Never discount Depression as 'nothing'. Nor as something you can 'fix' alone. Because depression is a completely Treatable illness. But also it is serious.
Depression is something Doctor know about and will know how to help.
And it is not helpful for you to not be getting good medical support over this.
The bullying is also unacceptable. It is wrong, but it happens in some familes. What, you ask? What I am referring to is when one family member is singled out as the 'scapegoat'
No wonder you feel aggrieved when you do do nice things for your family. But that is never enough. Still your family criticizes you.
Just because they choose to not see your good qualities, does not mean you have no good qualities. You do deserve to be listened to and to you do deserve to be able to speak to someone about being bullied and to a doctor about being depressed.
Starting a journal that no one else ever gets to read is a great way to pour out your thoughts and feelings and express yourself. Detailing what happened during your day. How you dealt with it. How others treated you. What solutions you have devised to address the problem.
Is there any way that your family might be able to afford to pay for a twelve month gym membership for you? Getting regular exercise and feeling fitter is a great way to lift your mood and help you grow in confidence. Once again see if the Citizen's advice bureau know of a budget option in this regard.
Also get yourself a set of Affirmations. Or you can even make up a few good one's yourself. Such as:
'......(your name) you have a good kind nature and so you do deserve to love who you are'
'today is a new day and I believe good things will come my way'
'today I will go forth with confidence because I deserve to have confidence in who I am. I am a capable person.'
Can you involve yourself in something other than family and school?
Ask the citizen's advice bureau in your area if there are any Writers groups in your area. Or a few classes on how to write stories in a particular genre. These classes can be fun. And allow you to pour out your feelings in words.
Or, For instance, could you enroll in a class to learn landscape painting or just water colors in general.
Some people might say, 'oh I can't draw'. Well have you seen the abstracts in an art gallery recently? Nothing much realistic seems to get painted much today, so if you stick to putting some colorful abstracts together then you are never 'wrong'
And as your skill grows you may even learn framing too. So that you can sell a few of your creations (framed nicely) and earn some pocket money, when an amateur painting group puts on a community exhibition
By developing a skill where you get support from another source, where you learn and grow, discover your style, then you get regular good safe validation that you do have good skills, that you are pro-active enough to seek out a safe arena to learn new skills and be in a safe environment with others learning a skill.
And of course it is a given that eating healthy, getting enough rest, and trying to remain positive can really help.
If I can think of any other solutions I will post again.
My best wishes to you
Abella
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A
male
reader, unknown2u +, writes (16 January 2012):
The first answer is excellent. I'd add that it might be helpful to talk to another family member -- a grandparent, an aunt or uncle -- someone who might better *hear* you and help you talk to your parents.
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A
female
reader, Orbiter +, writes (15 January 2012):
Well first I suggest you do is wait until you're calm and have a good think about whether or not your life is that bad compared to other people's, such as your friends. When I was a teenager I went through a difficult time too but looking back it wasn't just how people treated me, I was also very volatile and would overreact to nearly everything that was said. Unfortunately that's hormones, really the only thing you can do if it's that bad is go to the doctor and explain to them what's been happening. To be honest that's what it sounds like to me, as you do describe mood swings.
However that's not always the case. If you think you really are being bullied badly by your family then first I'd suggest either sitting down with your parents and telling them how you feel. Or sometimes writing a letter to them would be better if you feel they would just brush you off otherwise. If nothing changes maybe ask to speak to a counsellor, through your school/college (if you're at one) or doctor and see what they suggest.
If all else fails and you feel you really are getting more and more depressed then you're old enough now to move out. It's not easy and definitely not the most ideal situation but for some people it is the best option. Find out what financial and housing options would be available to you and go from there.
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