Like what
she writes?
... Add *bella to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *bella a private message | | | *bella's profile:"Always be Kinder than necessary"... J M Barrie
I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)
And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf
“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “
"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."
That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.
And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.
When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:
With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.
Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.
We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.
It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.
In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.
Never underestimate such a person.
Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.
A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.
Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.
The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:
“A leader leads by example not by force. “
And now some less well known quotes:
“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”
by Daisaku Ikeda
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
by Maya Angelou
“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”
by Zainab Alsaati
Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')
'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie
I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person
'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)
"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,
kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer
'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.
Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie
"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson
“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa
"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt
'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie
what's your favourite quote?
But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.
There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.
They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.
Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.
There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?
Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.
Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.
What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?
Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:
Negativity?
Passive Aggression?
Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?
Envy
Jealousy
For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.
The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.
Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.
Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.
Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.
Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified. |
|
| Latest articles: Self Confidence - an easy step by step guide to help you develop self confidence.
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 June 2013: SELF CONFIDENCE I started writing an answer to a question, namely http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-change.html and my answer just grew and grew. I recognized it had become an article rather than an answer after I ex...
Answer number 1200000 has been posted. Achievements on dearcupid.org. Who will ask question number 300,000 on this site?
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
22 December 2012: One question this week, a few days before the end of the year 2012 on DearCupid.org has reached a real Zenith. A milestone. And a great achievement for the site dearcupid.org. Poster called CMMP has penned an answer and it is answer number 1200...
Cheating, Players, Betrayal and Trust issues. Should a Player or a Cheat be forgiven? - a collective resource on these issues, with some great responses that may help you.
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 September 2012: CHEATING Today the feature topics are Players and cheating and Trust issues or can you Forgive or should you forgive if your partner Cheats? And the collective wisdom on DearCupid.org on Cheating on Betrayal, Loss of Trust and Forgiveness or n...
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
This question has 28 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 August 2012: Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
How do you feel about nick-names in a loving relationship? Do you have a favorite nick-name?
This question has 16 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2011: Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been ...
What are the attributes and conditions for a successful relationship that works? And what hinders the development of a successful relationship?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 August 2011: I would be intersted to hear from others on what attributes and qualities represent essentials in a successful relationship. And what are deal breakers that can ruin a relationship? By a successful relationship I mean one where both parties a...
Where is the world going? And yes this does affect relationships.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 March 2011: "Where is the World going? And yes this does affect life and relationships." The original question received from an anonymous female in the UK aged 26 to 29 and called "Where is the UK going" inspired this article. And you might think this does ...
Tunnel vision positive thinking - used to your advantage
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 December 2010: Life is never perfect. Even people, who look like they have it easy, still have challenges. Maybe different challenges to people doing it much tougher, but challenges all the same. That's when it's much harder to feel positive. Even if we cou...
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
This question has 15 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
4 December 2010: You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
|
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 29 July 2016: and my list of Great Articles written by others needs an addition and here it is:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/just-some-fun.html
A little humour goes a long way.
The above article was published in 2008 and was written by one of th... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 31 January 2016: and similar to the one with 70 replies is this great contribution with 50 replies on ideas suggested and some implemented to improve the site over the years.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/wanted:-your-input-on-dearcupidorg.html
Great t... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 24 January 2016: This Article is Gold and deserves to be sitting alongside the other star articles, even though it is not an article. But with 70 plus responses I think it qualifies as an article on what you would like to see developed on the dearcupid site. Histo... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 15 August 2015: this is not an article but it is a gorgeous answer that Missy_25 wrote in reply to a poster.
Missy_25 answered the following question - and her answer is worth pinning up somewhere prominent at home. Her advice was AAA all stars and I loved it... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 21 May 2015: Dating tips. Thanks to a fairly new poster commenting on the following post I would see that this great contribution deserved to be in this compilation.
So here it is:
Need to think of some questions to ask on a date?
Below is a great list o... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 12 April 2015: Well I just realized that GeeGee255 's article is so good that I have recommended it twice. That's what happens to really good articles. They are enduring. Wise advice is worth sharing with others.
And dearcupid.org certainly does have a lot of w... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 12 April 2015: GeeGee is a wise Aunt with three sons and some amazing life experience. She started dispensing advice at age 13 and is now a very busy grandmother. I've let her know that I thought her post was really relevant to teens today and so I am highlighting ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 2 March 2015: Relationships - it's not plain sailing sometimes.
Now the following is not from an article. But the answer from very wise Uncle wiseowle was so good to this question below that I am including the post in this compilation of really Great arti... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 24 February 2015: Looking much younger than your chronological age. What a great article
One of the Uncles: mfj78 has written here:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/the-perills-of-looking-young.html
I love articles that really demonstrate a key is... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 1 September 2014: Always on the lookout for new good articles to group together in this archive of great articles on dearCupid.org. It makes it easier to find the articles so that I can recommend the articles to others .
Today I am adding a guide o teen dating w... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 1 September 2014: I am adding a new Article to the DEAR CUPID Hall of Fame.
It is about DATING TIPS and deserves to be here with the Best
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/first-date-tips.html
Although it started off as a question it is so good that the ans... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 28 June 2014: Online dating: Thank you Mark1978
I just added an article by Mark1978 to my list of TOP articles.
Mark1978 has just created this excellent article on online dating.
http://www.de... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 29 May 2013: This compilation is so useful.
I just recommended three articles celebrated within this Article.
You can find out which articles I just recommended by clicking on to the link below.
My responses to the question below are all about datings. a... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 1 March 2013: Thank you for reading the article on articles.
You Should be on the list of my favorite Articles DirtBall. You write some wonderful advice.
Not only is the article a great way to find a group of good articles I also hope it alerts people ne... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 6 February 2013: Valentine’s Day – that special time each year for lovers. To some people Valentine’s day is very very special.
To others the day passes without another thought. So often people start thinking about Valentine’s day and need some ideas or some sup... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 6 February 2013: When I see an outstanding Article I intend to add it to this resource. So I can easily find the article again in the future.
So now this resource holds 58 really Great Articles by really thoughtful and excellent Aunts and Uncles on this site.
... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 19 September 2012: There can always be new variations and new issues that have not yet been asked and have not yet been posted on Dear Cupid. So if you are in love with your teacher or your lecturer then DO post your NEW question please
Sometimes some addition... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 15 September 2012: Teacher Student Crushes keep on happening. Often the student wants to know if others understand their feelings
So today I thought I would create the Definitive resource on past advice on Students in love with their teacher or with a Crush on their... (read in full...)
We had a threesome and my husband completely ignored me! I feel our marriage is over...
Q. I am married for 5 1/2 yrs. My husband and I have useId talking about a 3some several times during sex for excitement. Me being bi. But he has always said he doesn't really wanna do it. But the opportunity presented itself. And he asked and asked if ...
A. 14 September 2012: hi, i don't think you are 'playing the victim'. Instead I think you are a woman in a state of total confusion and shock and this is down to your husband.
I call it Jelly-backbone and a lack of balls when one party to a marriage or relation... (read in full...)
We had a threesome and my husband completely ignored me! I feel our marriage is over...
Q. I am married for 5 1/2 yrs. My husband and I have useId talking about a 3some several times during sex for excitement. Me being bi. But he has always said he doesn't really wanna do it. But the opportunity presented itself. And he asked and asked if ...
A. 14 September 2012: While you need to learn to be more assertive I think you also have to face that your husband is appalling and not worthy of you any more.
I think facing the unpalatable truth is in your best interests. Your husband has no respect for you. He willi... (read in full...)
Why is my supervisor acting all weird in front of me? She is confusing me. Not sure how to act when she acts up
Q. So what does this girl want? I have a superviser at work who is like how to put it... Bipolar one mintue then she is really nice the next She's screaming and shouting at me. Anyway shes normally like this with everyone but recently when she's ...
A. 13 September 2012: Thank you for the update. And update as often as you like. It's good to update - so please keep us posted.
Good that you have gone to the Union.
Just get your work done. Concentrate on that.
Be like a Duck, serene on top of the water, but paddle (... (read in full...)
I proposed to her a month ago and she says she's still thinking about it. What should I do? Does she not love me as much I love her?
Q. I proposed to my girl and she told me that she will think about my requests now it's almost one month full she still tells me that she is still thinking about it. I love have her so much but now i'm running out of patience. What must i do? Should i w...
A. 12 September 2012: This girl could be stringing you along. or she could be a girl who can't make a decision. And although you love her she really may not want to face this decision yet.
How old is she? Perhaps she wants to be older before she finally makes such a m... (read in full...)
Life with a handicap
Q. Good day, Here's a good one and it's for women. I know all women are doing this but I'd say more then 50% are. I'm a man in my 40s and had a work accident st work as a union iron worker. I do well in life because I own a 3 acres of great...
A. 12 September 2012: Many people have some form of challenge. I call it challenge rather than the word you used. But it's OK to use whatever word works for you.
The women who have in the past run from you because of your limp are not worth the trouble. Be happy th... (read in full...)
Retroactive Jealousy: how do I overcome it?
Q. Right, so I am not even really sure how to start this. Basically, I suffer from what many other men (and few women) seem to suffer from as well. Retroactive Jealousy, or "her past"... Its horrible, its utterly disturbing and self destructive. I have ...
A. 12 September 2012: This article is so good it deserves to feature as a Article to be re-read annually by anyone suffering from Retroactive Jealousy.
In fact I think I'd like to see Yos bring out a book written by Yos, on the whole subject (if that has not already happ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 12 September 2012: Thank you anonymous, for your Recommendation for an Article that really Resonates with you, and no doubt many other readers.
And "I am here to help you" is indeed a big contributer on this site. Well spotted.
There is nothing worse than that hor... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 12 September 2012: This following question from 2010 has a response by Yos. There are 66 responses to this question on Retroactive Jealously from some amazing Aunts and Uncles in Dearcupid.org. Now Amazing Yos if you do not yet know it is, seriously, the BEST expo... (read in full...)
If he acts one way towards me and makes me feel exclusive just during work, does he see me as just a work fling?
Q. Hey everyone! I would be grateful if you could put some light into my love life... Ive recently started to develop some feelings for this guy I work with, we'll call him Hunter, we both work part time and we both work on the same days. We have known ...
A. 12 September 2012: At work he has been a nice co-operative friend and you and he have also developed the friendship with communication via electronic means. Normally you start the conversation and he responds. And despite what is your obvious interest he has not asked ... (read in full...)
Why are women not interested in me?
Q. This question has been on my mind lately and it has to do with how girls choose their boyfriends. Here is my background. I'm relatively short for a man at 22 standing at 5'4. I use to have skinny figure until I started to get fit going from 100 to ...
A. 11 September 2012: i agree with Tisha that your height will not be a turn off at all.
But you might like to work on your Self esteem and set some goals to achieve the aim of meeting girls in non threatening situations, such as a volunteer group. Or a group that has ... (read in full...)
Why are women not interested in me?
Q. This question has been on my mind lately and it has to do with how girls choose their boyfriends. Here is my background. I'm relatively short for a man at 22 standing at 5'4. I use to have skinny figure until I started to get fit going from 100 to ...
A. 10 September 2012: Hi
I have seen guys who many might think they would not be able to get a girl, but they do. And I think Inner Self Confidence can really help.
Code Warrior has put it well in his article on Confidence:
http://www.de... (read in full...)
He says I'm a great woman, but he only wants a sexual relationship...what am I to do?
Q. He says that he doesn't see a serious relationship with me because, I'm not part of his culture and that when it comes to building a family, the way he children will look, they language they speak and the culture is very important to him, THUS he ...
A. 10 September 2012: I think you would be perfectly within your rights to say, "yes I am a great woman. However I am a Greater woman than you deserve"
I am sure he will have no trouble finding a woman to meet his needs. Don't waste your time on this man. He just want... (read in full...)
Why is my supervisor acting all weird in front of me? She is confusing me. Not sure how to act when she acts up
Q. So what does this girl want? I have a superviser at work who is like how to put it... Bipolar one mintue then she is really nice the next She's screaming and shouting at me. Anyway shes normally like this with everyone but recently when she's ...
A. 9 September 2012: hi your follow up was helpful.
If you can check out what resources are available on the policy towards Bullying and harassment.
Don't allow her to unsettle you. She wants that. Just stay respectful and professional at all times.
Never Sin... (read in full...)
B/f on dating site saying he was single, we've been dating for 3 years!
Q. Hiya, I'm in a bit of a pickle. My boyfriend and I have started sharing his email account and he left his laptop here for me to use as mines broke. Basically I went to send a email and I found that he had dating matches so I had a look. It said ...
A. 9 September 2012: that is horrible that he signed up to a dating site (intent to connect with another)
That is horrible that he misrepresented to you his real intention. Saying he did not want to connect with another for dating. (lies to you, thinking you will beli... (read in full...)
Why is my supervisor acting all weird in front of me? She is confusing me. Not sure how to act when she acts up
Q. So what does this girl want? I have a superviser at work who is like how to put it... Bipolar one mintue then she is really nice the next She's screaming and shouting at me. Anyway shes normally like this with everyone but recently when she's ...
A. 9 September 2012: Your supervisor is immature and out of control and a woman to be avoided. She is TROUBLE. even if you behave very very respectfully at work she could still cause you MAJOR trouble.
Potentially I think your supervisor is unstable, likely to bull... (read in full...)
I want to make him dump me so no-one blames me for ending the relationship, how do I do this?
Q. hello everyone. Its been more than a year since i have posted here.Well my life has been wonderful in the past year.The last time when i needed help it was about dating my cousin's ex and i got only one reply saying not to.But it was my bad that...
A. 8 September 2012: Here is what you asked for:
Initiate the Dumping in a way that causes him to make the decision to dump
Ok, I would rather you be honest to a guy. But you want him to think it was his idea to dump you. So here goes. I might add I have never use... (read in full...)
Am I a racist for not liking a black guy?
Q. I’m a young gay man and I feel like I’m a bad person. I’m receiving a lot of attention from a black guy (I'm white myself). He’s being really nice, giving me small gifts and everything, asking me to go out with him. We’ve talked many times, he’s a ...
A. 8 September 2012: You think he is nice. You appreciate him very much. That does not sound like a racist.
One hears guys of who mention that they like particular people who are blondes or redheads. Its a physical preference.
I am sure there are people willing t... (read in full...)
I was a virgin and she was not. Now I feel cheated. To me this is a Big Deal. Am I making too much of this?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 8 months and we had sex recently, but she told me she had sex when she was 14 and lost her virginity with her ex. I am 17 and she is 16. I feel like I gave her everything (my first kiss and virginity), and I go...
A. 8 September 2012: It IS a really big deal to you.
You say you you felt you gave her everything and she gave you nothing back? You made LOVE together - does that not count for something?
She is still young and she still has a lot to learn about life. You are in t... (read in full...)
Is my separation Anxiety ruining my relationship?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for coming up to a year. We are in a long distance relationship. He lives in one part of the country and I live in a distant part of the country. We see each other every other weekend or so. He recently came ...
A. 8 September 2012: You certainly do have some challenges.
No matter what, your HEALTH MUST COME FIRST. Your illness is a serious one and needs to be taken seriously.
When you feel yourself getting very anxious and perhaps it is impossible for you to phone your d... (read in full...)
I've finished it with my first ever boyfriend after he cheated on me, Did I do the right thing?
Q. I was with my first ever boyfriend, and the person who i lost my virginity too for six months and it all ended today. Even though i'm being strong and trying my best to convince myself i deserve better i just want someones else opinion ...
A. 8 September 2012: Hi
I am so sorry I missed this post. I had incorrectly thought you were having a break from DearCupid.
Your first important relationship - your first love - because your first love is always so very very special. Even it the relationship... (read in full...)
Will my mindset be a problem for me in the future? I want to be happy.
Q. I am scared of marriage and children. I love children but when I see them I do not know how to even ask for their name. I sound mean most of the time and this scares them away. I and my twin sister, brother moved out of my fathers house when I was...
A. 8 September 2012: hi
I totally agree with Candid Cally that you do need counselling.
However you may need it for several years to help you work through some serious issues. If your College has any limits on how long you can seek therapy then you may be better o... (read in full...)
I'm a no-nonsense person, could this be mistaken for pride?
Q. I am a very proud person. I have tried therapy and combating this problem all to no avail as it often affect my relationship with other people. I remember being nice and loving when I was younger till my parents separated I became a monster. I never ...
A. 8 September 2012: hi
If you have grown up seeing adults acting in an uncaring disrespectful way towards others, and acting WITHOUT empathy then you are no doubt emulating the behaviour of the very same adults who have caused you pain in the past.
This is learned ... (read in full...)
Toxic father and less than optimum mother. Any suggestions on how I can move forward, to live a normal life, without resentment clouding every moment?
Q. I hate my father. He has always offended my sister, my older brother and i. He has 7 women as wives of which 6 had children for him. He completely ruined the lives of most of these women. We recently started discovering some more children. B...
A. 7 September 2012: Thank you for the link to your other post. This made me very happy to see that you are in your final year and about to start your masters. Perhaps consider some overseas travel to places you have never considered before to broaden your realm an... (read in full...)
I hate the people I call family. How do you suggest I approach my father and my family? Or do I walk away?
Q. My twin sister's birthday and my birthday was coming up which would cost 10,000 dollars. I told my sister that we should not do the birthday thing, but use the money to do something more productive, since we are the least favored of all our fath...
A. 7 September 2012: Any spare money you do happen to acquire would be well spent on some therapy to build some resilence into your outlook. And to help you go forward in your life without being saddled with so much hurt from all you have suffered.
You have been sub... (read in full...)
What's the worst thing that can happen with yeast infections if it's not treated right away?
Q. my girlfriend told me she might have a yeast infection. i could tell she isn't as wet and it's actually thick like cream. she's going for a check up this week. but i am worried about my mouth. should i get it checked?! what's the worst thing ...
A. 5 September 2012: and if it is not treated promptly things can become very smelly indeed. And not in a good day.
Plus it is uncomfortable,... (read in full...)
What's the worst thing that can happen with yeast infections if it's not treated right away?
Q. my girlfriend told me she might have a yeast infection. i could tell she isn't as wet and it's actually thick like cream. she's going for a check up this week. but i am worried about my mouth. should i get it checked?! what's the worst thing ...
A. 5 September 2012: It is always best if both parties are treated for the infection at the same time. sometimes one partner can have the infection without symptoms and keep on reinfecting their partner.
The treatment is quick and easy and painless.
People ca... (read in full...)
Should my boyfriend pay something if he moves into my house?
Q. My bf and i will soon be moving in together - he will be moving into my house. We have already agreed on that we will split the utilities bills and food. However he doesnt think he should pay anything weekly. Obviously i am not looking to make any ...
A. 4 September 2012: If a person purchases a property they have all manner of property taxes etc to pay every year on the property. They also have maintenance and wear and tear.
If they choose to then rent out part of the property (which they own) they then charge R... (read in full...)
We're related by adoption does that make it incest if we get together?
Q. Im a female I live in the us and ive made out with my cousin a couple of times and maybe have sucked his Dick but mine and his grand ma adopted his mom so were only related by adoption and I think I wanna take it to the next level I'm fifteen and ...
A. 4 September 2012: Yes, Legally you are definitely related.
As soon as a person is legally adopted they and their descendants all become LEGALLY part of the family they were adopted into.
So for instance if the grandmother died then he would be able to put up his h... (read in full...)
Should my boyfriend pay something if he moves into my house?
Q. My bf and i will soon be moving in together - he will be moving into my house. We have already agreed on that we will split the utilities bills and food. However he doesnt think he should pay anything weekly. Obviously i am not looking to make any ...
A. 4 September 2012: And please consider getting the financial arrangements put into writing and sign off on them, so that there is no doubt whatsover about what you are providing (a roof over his head) and what he is paying for the privelege (his contribution towards ... (read in full...)
Should my boyfriend pay something if he moves into my house?
Q. My bf and i will soon be moving in together - he will be moving into my house. We have already agreed on that we will split the utilities bills and food. However he doesnt think he should pay anything weekly. Obviously i am not looking to make any ...
A. 4 September 2012: Hi
You are not a charity. If he was not living with you he would be paying rent. You have to service the mortgage that will allow him to live in the premises.
he will be enjoying the benefits of the roof over his head.
And his presence mea... (read in full...)
I'm in my 30's and feel like I don't have a life, I don't know what else to do...
Q. i need help i dont know what to do. in my 30s living with parents and i feel like i did when i was 16. they pay all the bills so i dont have them worries but i suffer from depression and find getting a job hard. i was starting to feel a bit better ...
A. 4 September 2012: Hi
Not sure why but this post reminds me of a post a while back. Depression is indeed debilitating.
However your post sounds like you really want to get things moving in the right direction. You are recognizing that your life needs more LIFE in... (read in full...)
A baby 3 months ago. So why do I feel so dispirited all the time? Should I start afresh, or is there other options?
Q. So had a baby been together for two years and I dont think I want to be with him anymore.I love him but I'm falling out of love. Lately I've been sleeping on the couch in the living room, I dont enjoy kissing him or being all cuddly with him. I dont ...
A. 4 September 2012: what a huge range of events you have experienced in the last two years. The start of a relationship that had all the promise of an enduring love. finding out you were pregnant and going through all the things a pregnancy bring. And the momentous ... (read in full...)
How do I draw him towards me in a subtle way so he thinks he is doing all the chasing? I'll text if I really have to.
Q. I have started liking a guy ( I havent had buttreflies for a guy in a good long while) so for me this is a bigish deal. Problem is we have hung out a couple of times and I can tell he is not nearly as into me as I am to him. He is always keen t...
A. 4 September 2012: hi
Ooh, he's a bit casual? That's hardly making a major effort. And not giving you much notice either.
I think i would suggest that, 'oh, i would have loved to, wish i'd known earlier, but i've already accepted an invitation to see friends tonight,... (read in full...)
I realized life is short, made a bucket list but don't have the money to do things!
Q. I don't really know how to say all this but, I'm 17 and would like a little advice. In May 2011 I almost lost my mother, she was fighting for her life and thankfully made it! In November 2011, I lost my grandad, this was a complete shock a...
A. 3 September 2012: I can understand why you want to make these plans, and i think it is admiral that you do. Because you should have some hopes and dreams to look forward too.
Often when we are young we think it looks impossible.
Focus first on your studies. Get some... (read in full...)
How do I draw him towards me in a subtle way so he thinks he is doing all the chasing? I'll text if I really have to.
Q. I have started liking a guy ( I havent had buttreflies for a guy in a good long while) so for me this is a bigish deal. Problem is we have hung out a couple of times and I can tell he is not nearly as into me as I am to him. He is always keen t...
A. 3 September 2012: You are welcome.
If he is worth your time then he needs to find the time to woo you.
And if he cannot see the beauty and uniqueness within you, or he chooses to not find the time? Then it is his loss.
Fingers crossed for you that he sees the ... (read in full...)
After six years of dealing with trust issues I finally broke up with my boyfriend
Q. I feel really sad, because I broke up with my ex last Monday. We'd been struggling with his trust issues for a long 6 years. He had problems with my past, because I had been with a guy he knows (but I didn't sleep with him, I had a crush on him, we ...
A. 3 September 2012: Hi
This is seriously horrible that he has such major TRUST issues.
I think he also as major CONTROL issues and he is way too insecure to be a good partner to anyone. While he has those issues he will continue to sabotage relationships in the futu... (read in full...)
Should I come right out and ask if she's on her period?
Q. Okay so normally I know it's not a good idea. But the problem is I've noticed this trend in my girlfriend. At around the beginning of every month (usually around the 5th), She completly ignores me I'm talking she doesn't have any contact with me and ...
A. 3 September 2012: Well I can only speak from a personal perspective - but I would find it very off-putting if a guy asked this.
I would prefer a more tactful approach whereby the guy is diplomatic and tactful and does not ask.
But just accepts that for a certai... (read in full...)
He seems ill at ease after my joke about living in a big house
Q. Hi , I met a guy recently (less than a month). I never accepted to truly date someone before him, and he is the first guy I truly want to know, date ... When we met he was very sweet , he asked for my number, and called within two days. He texted m...
A. 3 September 2012: i feel this is a mis-understanding that needs to be put right.
He may have thought you were boasting. But really you were just a little flustered.
Invite him to share lunch with him in a nice quiet place, where you can talk. Don't choose a grand no... (read in full...)
Left an abusive relationship. Started again. Nice Bf now. How do I handle my own social anxiety and become more confident?
Q. I want to know what people think of this. Before I start ill give a bit of background, been with my partner 18 months, before that i was in a hurrendously abusive relationship where my partner cheated, and put me down (and i am aware this is proba...
A. 2 September 2012: what a lovely follow up.
Hope all goes well too.
Regards
Abella... (read in full...)
How do I draw him towards me in a subtle way so he thinks he is doing all the chasing? I'll text if I really have to.
Q. I have started liking a guy ( I havent had buttreflies for a guy in a good long while) so for me this is a bigish deal. Problem is we have hung out a couple of times and I can tell he is not nearly as into me as I am to him. He is always keen t...
A. 2 September 2012: Sit tight and don't even think of texting him.
Make sure you look nice if you accidentally run into him.
But let him do ALL the running. I mean you don't want t0 waste your time on a guy who is not willing to put in the hard yards and try to... (read in full...)
He offered me sex instead of a relationship!
Q. Should I be insulted that a guy Ive liked for a while has asked me to be his FWB or 'fuck buddy'? He says he doesnt want a relationship but wants to be more than friends. Im shocked and dont know what to say! Im 29 and hes 28, Im looking for a ...
A. 2 September 2012: He is a fool. Let him waste his time but don't let him waste your time.
Of course it is insulting.
He is saying he wants to take one part of you without the full range of things in a relationship. Just a pit-stop for sex and he will be on his w... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 2 September 2012: Now over 40 articles so far in this resource - the ones in the initial article at left, plus the additional articles I have added in through followups, including this new follow up.
And it is not finished yet. I am still going through lists of... (read in full...)
Left an abusive relationship. Started again. Nice Bf now. How do I handle my own social anxiety and become more confident?
Q. I want to know what people think of this. Before I start ill give a bit of background, been with my partner 18 months, before that i was in a hurrendously abusive relationship where my partner cheated, and put me down (and i am aware this is proba...
A. 2 September 2012: Well done that you got out of an Abusive relationship.That takes immense courage and inner strength and you did it. Many people suffer decades of abuse and never get the courage you found.
You new boyfriend needs to deal with his ex as that is ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 1 September 2012: Another reason not to post an Article as Anonymous. I have been trawling through some Articles that might be almost impossible to find. Except some digging around has revealed four more articles from the past that deserve to be read again.
I cou... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 31 August 2012: Thank you So Very Confused.
I am not finished yet. Still looking for more good articles
Regards
Abella. ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 31 August 2012: Thank you CTR
And I intend to add any article I need to find in a hurry and think might be useful in the future, be it an article published 4 years ago or 4 minutes ago
I can't guarantee to put up every article. Only the ones that I think might ... (read in full...)
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
Q. Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
A. 31 August 2012: I have just found some more articles that deserve to be added to the list of my favourites
This resource is already proving to be very useful when I go looking for that amazing article. wish I had thought of this earlier.
Here are the extra ar... (read in full...)
| *bella's friends
These are mutual friends, so *bella has
added them and they have added *bella!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
