A
female
age
30-35,
*ilverVintage
writes:About a month ago, I met a guy and we started to have conversation and he said he wanted to get to know me. I told him no because I was leaving the next day and I wouldn't be back until next year or the holidays. He seemed a little disappointed but wanted my number anyway so I gave it to him. 5 days later he texts me and that began the start of our texting relationship. But it seems that I'm the one starting the conversation. He'll sometimes text me good morning pretty lady (other compliments as well) and he has so far sent 2 pics. Sometimes we can hold a conversations, but they mostly consist of good mornings and talking about what we did but I'm normally left hanging. We've tried talking to each other on the phone, but that don't go so well since his phone cut off and he works well into the night. The most I have gone without texting him is four days and then I do because I don't want him to think I've lost interest or something like that. He works two jobs and doesn't get off until 2 or 4 pm and from 11/12 midnight. I understand he is tired 7 when he gets down time, he wants to rest but I'm trying to figure out where is this going and how does he feel. Is he comfortable with me texting first or does he seem just uninterested. I have half a mind to call him next week (I'm testing out to see if he'll text) and see whats up. I been told if I call and he doesn't pick up, leave a mssg and he doesn't call back, move on. A month is a short time, I get patience but we are both starting school soon (not the same college) and Im not there obviously which hinders staring a relationship or to an extend a friendship. Any advice will help me so thanks in advance. He is 23/24 and I am 19.
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (29 July 2012):
 If he enjoys your texts and derives value from the content and you feel the same then a texting relationship (either helpful/ platonic / or more) can continue for ages. Ask any parent whose child communicates with their father or mother in this way.
Start throwing in a question or two.
Ask his views about a major current event.
Even if the time difference is difficult tell him you would really like to speak to him in real time so arrange a time convenient to his schedule so you can.
When Can you meet up?
It might be difficult, and there may be things he does not tell me.
But he may not be for you if you are already questioning things after just one month.
One month is not very long, and hardly enough time, even if you see the guy in person on a daily basis. But in a texting situation then one month is just a nano second.
Maybe try a few more things, and give things a chance, before you call it a day?
A LDR conducted by texting, where you don't have a lot of pre-history is a really big ask, to sustain a LDR.
If it is meant to be then it can work. But if it does not, then at least you will know you have given it your best effort.
Some guys are more visual and find expressing themselves via an online texting only relationship difficult.
And if he is also a workaholic that only adds to his problems and will make it harder to sustain a relationship with any girl.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2012): I think you should stop always texting and calling him first because you seem a little desperate even though you said no to him. In some ways, it seems as if he's lost interest in you, if he really wanted to talk to you, he'd start the conversation and try a little harder to keep it going. Since it's also a LDR, I don't think this will work considering it's already been a month and he doesn't seem to keen on continuing this relationship. Yet, I do not know the specifics, only you do so if you are certain that this relationship will last a year then keep it up but my advice would be to have low expectations so you don't get too attached in the long run.
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