A
male
age
26-29,
*enis49
writes:Hi there everyone!I'm the guy that every girl falls back on after their relationships don't work out, or when something upsets them. I'm only talked to when it's convenient for others. One specific case has been bothering me lately however...I guess you can say that I ask for it, because I always give good advice when they come to me looking for support. but anyway, Girl A, that I've known for about a year now came to me after she was hit on by two of her ex's while her current BF was out of town. I listened to everything she had to say, and then I told her what I felt about the situation she was put in and tried to be as supportive as possible. afterword ... she said something that no other girl has ever said to me... and I quote... "Thank you for being an amazing friend. You're awesome ***** and I'm lucky to have someone like you around."It made my day for some reason... but the very next day, I shot her a text and all I could get out of her were one word or short stub responses. eventually she just didn't respond to one of my texts.WTF MAN? I don't understand! I Don't think I did a damn thing wrong, so is it her just being a bad friend? me being too nice? WTF?I'd appreciate any kind of opinion on this.Thanks everyone
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male
reader, denis49 +, writes (31 July 2012):
denis49 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the advice everybody.
I'll try harder and harder not to be that fallback person for people.
several minute after I posted this last night, the specific girl i referred to apologized for being short (a little weird if you ask me).
I like the whole, for every piece of advice, I want a date in return idea. :3
Thanks everyone!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2012): You are young I am guessing by your age. Take my advice; trust me, coming from one "nice" guy to another.At your age, it is true that "nice" guys finish last. Sorry, that's just the truth. Girls don't want to date "nice" guys. They want them to be there and offer kind words and support for when they take a chance with a "cool" guy and get trampled on. That's just the way it goes through high school and early college. Later in life, when they have a real life and have made all their mistakes with idiots and cool guys; then they look for the "nice" guy to settle down with.Most women on here probably won't agree but it's true. You hear it all the time, even on here. I finally met the "right" guy for me, etc.1. STOP listening and offering advice to any girl you like. If you like her, you can't be in the "friend" zone. Later in life some of the best relationships start as friends, but not at your age. 2. Just be casual and interesting. If you're talking to a girl you like, talk to her/text her a few times and then let her go cuz you're busy. "hey, I saw this and I thought of you. Crazy huh" let her reply, "haha, yeah. Well, gotta go. See ya tomorrow." same thing next day, etc. eventually if she's interested she will start talking to you! Just be blunt! If she complains about an ex, tell her straight up, "that guy is an ass, you're the hottest girl in class. I would take you in a sec."
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (31 July 2012):
 If you don't like being this guy, then don't be this guy. You have the full and complete power to tell the girls you're busy and move on. Like Abella said, get some new hobbies.
You do sound like a great guy, but that is probably why you should be out looking for a great girl, instead of spending your time listening to sob stories from others. I think it is wonderful you give good advice. A lot of people really need someone like you, but you have to decide when enough is enough. You need to decide when people are just using you for advice and really aren't considerate of you otherwise.
You don't have to be mean to the girls, just always have something more pressing to do. If it happens at school...you can always move and talk to someone else or just tell them you are not sure what you would do in their situation. Or, you could say "For every piece of advice I give, I require a date out with you in return." You can also make this fun, so don't get down about it. Be careful with that texting though. It's really easy to get sucked into someone else's drama while texting. You don't have to answer texts either.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (31 July 2012):
 I think you might have given her the impression that you want more than friendship. And that's why she stopped replying.
Imagine if she was a dude. Would you be this upset about a guy friend not messaging you back? Or would you just shrug and do something more interesting?
If you want girls to be your friends then treat them like you treat your guy friends. Don't obsess about text messages, invite them to do things that you enjoy doing instead. Texting back and forth is a girl thing, the way I see it. Guy friends don't sit and text each other. Guy friends sit and DO things together. They don't sit and text... That's what girls do. The only times I've had guys texting me is when they want to hang out, or if they have something specific in mind (such as when my brother asks me a question). Guy friends don't sit and text me back and forth all day. The only times I sit and text back and forth with a guy is if he's my boyfriend, or if we are flirting.
My brother sits and texts his girlfriend ALL the time. He never texts me, even though we are friends. Or when he texts me it's one word answers or one line questions. Texting back and forth is for couples, or for when you flirt. Not for friends. Girl friends text each other back and forth, but not guys. I think that's what gave your friend the impression you want more.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (31 July 2012):
 For your self preservation you need to keep this in mind.
How many of these girls genuinely Reciprocate?
None I suspect.
If they do nothing for you except take up hours of your time and then ignore you later then they are not worthy of you.
Start being too busy to be used.
Start putting yourself first.
Joint a walkers club
Developa hobby
Read more books.
you are likely to grow taller and enjoy learning so many things over the next five years.
Do not waste your time helping ungrateful people.
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