A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hiya, I'm in a bit of a pickle. My boyfriend and I have started sharing his email account and he left his laptop here for me to use as mines broke.Basically I went to send a email and I found that he had dating matches so I had a look. It said he joined the site last November but he had only uploaded a picture and a short description. It also said he was single and we have been together for three years.I was pregnant with our son last year so you can imagine how shocked I am. It also said he was looking for casual hangout and no commitments. If he had anything to hide wouldn't he delete these? I was naughty and logged into his account on the website as he uses the same password for most things. He had by sent or received any messages.I'm not sure what to do should I confront him? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (10 September 2012):
Considering what you have found out, I think you snooping is minor. Do not allow him to turn it into a you have been snooping argument. He is the one who`s in the wrong, not you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2012): Original poster here, thanks for your responses. I know it's a new accound as the picture is one that I took last year. Also it states that he was in a relationship for 2 and half years but that was over.
I'm just going to confront him about it but I need to find a way of doing it without him thinking I have been snooping I do find it unacceptable. If he wants to be on dating sites then he can. But he can have me at the same time.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (10 September 2012):
 I would bring it up. I would want to know WHY he made an account, why he thought it would be OK to make one, and I SURE as hay wouldn't believe a "oh just for fun" excuse or a I don't know...
Then I guess it all comes down to how he acts and what he is willing to do to move past it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2012): id create a fake profile and catch him at his own game!
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A
female
reader, delightful84 +, writes (9 September 2012):
i don`t think he thought you would find out about this. You would be better telling him what you know. Hopefully he wont insult you by lying.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (9 September 2012):
 that is horrible that he signed up to a dating site (intent to connect with another)
That is horrible that he misrepresented to you his real intention. Saying he did not want to connect with another for dating. (lies to you, thinking you will believe his flimsy explanation)
That is horrible that he has not deleted the account
(disorganised?? Or intent to cheat, eventually)
Tell him that you are NOT naive, he need not be patronising to you, and that he need never lie to you, that what he has done is disrespectful to you.
And drop those Dreaded Words to him, Namely:
'We need to talk'
You have a child together, so arrange some couples counselling. Especially as you have a child to consider.
This can be dealt with. Stay calm.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (9 September 2012):
 I would ask him about it. I would want to know whether spending more time and effort on the relationship with him is a worthwhile effort or if he is already trying to make plans to move on. I think you have a right to know considering you have a child together.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (9 September 2012):
 I wouldn't bother confronting him..... I'd DUMP him!!!!
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (9 September 2012):
 Beleive it or not i know this sounds like one of the most least likelyiest options right now. But maybe he was looking for friends? I know thaat a lot of people use dating sites to just chat to people and make friends sometimes. He might not of been on there for any sinister reason. However if i was you, yes i would confront him because i just wouldn't of been able to let it lie, maybe he for instance made that account as a joke or something? Or maybe it was an account that he used before he met you and he just reactivated it in Novemember to just see if anything had changed? There are so many different outcomes to this scenario, and it seems the only way you will find out what his intentions were is to confront him, its better to talk about things instead of just sit there worrying about all the possible outcomes. Good Luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2012): here we go again....dating sites!!! one good thing about em though, they tend to weed out cheats and you tend to find the true nature of the one you are with. dump him honey !!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2012): Original poster sorry it was supposed to say he had not sent or received messages.
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