A
male
age
51-59,
spicolee2002
writes:Good day, Here's a good one and it's for women. I know all women are doing this but I'd say more then 50% are. I'm a man in my 40s and had a work accident st work as a union iron worker. I do well in life because I own a 3 acres of great land near a lake and a very nice home as well. I was hurt when I was 21 and just in the prime of life when that nightmare happened to me. I'm on disability for life but make about $4,900 take home so life is nice and easy. I just got married about 6 months ago but you could say its not perfect by no means. Here's the question I have. Why do you get judged as a man if your not a 100% in health? I walk with a limp and have a massive head injury. I take morphine daily for chronic pain and others to have a normal life. Well somewhat normal. I found all my life that finding a relationship very hard because I walk with a limp and forget things. I'm very normal but people still stare at my walk do to my limp. I understand now it's just curiosity but it is very ignorant to stare and stare some more to see how I manage to walk the way I do. I can't help the way I walk. In my 20s I could not find a date and it had to do with the disabilty I have. I know it can't be easy being with a guy that people look at do to something they can't control. I went along time with out a G/F due to them being embarrassed by the stares. As I got older I found it was easier and easier to get a relationship. I left my ex for my wife. My ex had no problem with my limp and called me superman and stead of handicapped. I had 3000 lbs of pure concrete on my head by a crane operator's mistake not mine. I lived through it and I always thought thank God I can walk and not in a wheel chair. I asked my wife if she cared and was told no but there's no affection showed in public to say I'm in love him and he's all mine. My ex showed the world we were a pair and if you don't like it you know we're you can go. I left that security for my now wife that we were ok. I know it bothers her a bit. I don't know how much though. I just know she does not show any emotion to me in public. I know I still love my ex and miss her bad but that's the past. I'm just saying that staring or being judged due to a sickness or injury that they can't help. I would love to see women fall in live for the right reasons not because there worried about what people think. Try and be nice and understand that person is fighting all the time to feel like there normal and we are because when you try your hardest to feel normal it takes 2 mins till I don't because some one stated at me and made me think of my injuries. When you find a woman that does not care and only cares about the person that's inside. I do ok in life and been told I'm good looking but my limp makes some women run away from me when I know if I had no limp I could have got her on a date. It's so hard to live like this and I have compassion for anyone that's handicapped. I was told all my life you'll never walk again or this or that but me being me I proved them all wrong because us handicapped people fight harder then anyone that has no injuries or being sick. All I'm saying is I know how hard it is to live like this to fight everyday to do things your supposed to do in life. I bought a house with land and have a nice truck and as normal inside as anyone. So if you see a guy that you say to yourself I'd go out with him only if he had nothing wrong with him. Stop and think that person can love as much and more then the average person. I know most women are not like this however ask yourself could you date someone with a limp or in a wheel chair. If you answer this truthfully most can't handle it.Ok people stay strong and try and give your love and respect to any human person that has a handicap or not. Judge by what there like and see through the people are looking. You can be strong or just like them and stare. I was fine and normal at 21 and in a second my whole life changed so it can happen to you. I hope it never does. Peace to all my fellow human beings and give the handicapped people a shot whether they're female or a male. A smile goes a long ways to a person then a stare. ;)
View related questions:
limp, my ex Reply to this Article
Share |
You can add your comments or thoughts to this article A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (12 September 2012):
 Many people have some form of challenge. I call it challenge rather than the word you used. But it's OK to use whatever word works for you.
The women who have in the past run from you because of your limp are not worth the trouble. Be happy that such women revealed their immaturity and their squeamish side. You would never be happy with such losers. They were never worthy of you in the first place.
A Challenge a person faces is often overshadowed by the strength of the Character of the person. Strength of Character can overcome so much.
And you sure as sure can be are a Man of Good Strong Character. That is why you are also a Survivor. All Power to you that you have survived and embraced life.
Staring is Ignorant. And Ignorance causes so many problems. I totally agree with your last remark: "A smile goes a long ways to a person then a stare. ;)"
I guess it has become just too draining over the years to
always smile and say "hi" to every ignorant staring person.
Being rude would not help. And while I think you could be forthright and call a spade a spade I think you are too generous to be rude to the people who stare.
But it would still be energy sapping to have to put up with this ignorance so often.
But saying "Hi" with a smile is a great way to remind idiots that you have a great brain and a great personality as well. And that you noticed them, but did not sink to their level. And it is my guess that that is exactly what you choose to do from time to time.
I agree all people should try to fall in love for the right reasons, but not everyone does.
And the person one loves - well one hopes that they love unconditinally. For what is the point, if they cannot love unconditionally?
And it really helps if people understand that "what other people think of you, think of us, is NOT OUR BUSINESS. What really matters is what he thinks of her and what she thinks of him and what each feel about themselves.
But when there is a challenge, like the challenge you face 24/7 that is indeed huge. I think many people do understand that you are fighting all the time. But they probably do not know the half of it.
You sound very NORMAL TO ME. You write beautifully and from the heart. You manage your life and have much to be proud of.
There are people who look as if they have no issues on the outside. But do have major issues on the inside. Things like very mean, very abusive, cruel and weak people who blame everyone else. You suffer none of those challenges.
And you are correct about what is "inside"
It is the character of the person that really matters. And what is on the inside. And you certainly do not lack courage, nor commitment and nor do you suffer from emotional weakness.
I also suspect that you rarely if ever suffer fools.
And despite the limp that bothers you so much you have twice found love and commitment and a woman who wants to spend her life with you. You must be doing a lot more things right than you think.
I think some women and some men are naturally demonstrative,and some are not.
Too much emotion can bother some people more than others. It sounds like you have a higher need for a more demonstrative approach, and you want the recognition to happen in public and in private.
But if your Lady does not want such a show of affection in public it does not mean that she does not love you. There are many women in the world who like to be one version in private and another version in public.
And some women (who do love their partners) find it downright embarassing when he wants to act like a lovesick 16 year old even though he ceased to be a teen eons ago.
Surely it matters how much passion transpires in private than how much of a show of affection occurs in public.
You don't have to convince the rest of the world about your love for each other. And the amount of passion you can expend in private far exceeds the energy required for any show of affection possible in public
|
