A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone! I would be grateful if you could put some light into my love life... Ive recently started to develop some feelings for this guy I work with, we'll call him Hunter, we both work part time and we both work on the same days. We have known each other for about a year but only just recently started talking to each other. During the days when we only knew each other and didnt talk we would just exhcnage a few looks and even when i smiled, he would quickly look away or continue staring without smiling. I just brushed it off without thinking too much into things.Then i suppose you could say fate brought us closer together when our manager put us together, we had to work together, hence communicate and talk to each other. When we got talking he would ask questions to me as thouh he seemed he wanted to know more about me and i asked similar questions back. He told me hes single and does not have a gf. Then another jerk at work wouldnt leave me alone and my other co workers were here to support me and protect me from the jerk...after that all blew over, my co worker went and told Hunter about the jerk not leaving me alone. Later on that night my coworker that was talking to Hunter about jerk told me over the phone that Hunter was furious over the way jerk treated me and couldnt beleive guys like jerk exist etc etc. so it seemed to me he kinda cared about my wellbeing.A few more weeks went by, me and hunter continued talking to each other at work and things seemed cool, i think feelings gradually started to develop slowly. Then it was a special occassion on the day after our shift was done for the week and i wished him over a social networking site by inboxing him, he told me he was in hospital because of his dad and i grew worried and really concerned so i told him if its easier for u to talk to me heres my number....and since that day we have ALWAYS messaged each other and spoken to each other everyday. Normally im the one who starts the conversation around a certain time of the day and he would talk back to me and maintain a conversation. Then our next shift of the week began and i felt something even more different than before, and i feel it was because of the fact we were talking almost everyday over the phone and we didnt see each other for a week, we only see each other during our shifts at work. I know im not imagining things but I have noticed signs, little things like he'll maintain eyecontact or look into each others eyes as we talk, I catch him staring at me when we are working, we spend a lot of time together at work, he tells me when he'll go for his breaks and tells me where he was and he'll ask where i was and what i am up to. Stuff like this which makes me think okay.... i think he might like me. And i forgot to mention that he does this with me, other girls do come over and try talking to him because he does get a lot of attension from girls hes being friendly and modest back with them. But when we are in a group i have noticed him teasing me and talking to me and looking at me.Me, Hunter and another coworker of ours, we'll call him Blake, all work together in the same department. We were altogether in the stock room, Hunter told me he needed to go on his break and he spoke to me even though Blake was standing there with us. So i told Hunter are you coming back to the stock room after your break, he said no, but i'll see you on the department after the break. Blake then said - okay, while ur (Hunter) gone for your break we will be in the stock room and you (me) can help me out with the stock. So Hunter says to me, i'll see you later and smiles....Me and Blake were still in the stock room finding all the correct stock and totally lost track of time. We came back onto the department way after Hunter got back from his break. Hunter comes up to me and says what are you doing? So i explained that im helping Blake. Hunter then says in a bit of a serious tone, - well just leave it to Blake and come back onto what you was doing (as in working with him on the department). This makes me think....ok....jelousy? or am i just overtihnking things?Last week he questioned me whether i could cook or not, so i told him I could. He kinda said it in a flirty way, well how bout you cook sometihng for me. I didnt answer back. The next week i actually cooked him lunch but i couldnt stay to have lunch with him because i needed to get to somewhere. After i left and just before he went off to lunch he asked my colleague where i was and whether i had lunch or not.Now the weird thing is, despite all the signs he has shown that he is interested in me, without telling me directly.... before he went off to his lunch break and telling me hes going to be back at so and so time.... after half an hour during his lunch break, i went to the canteen since i felt thirsty, i didnt expect him to be there or find him there... he was talking/face-timing another girl who i dont know during his lunch break! I found that reallly strange and my colleagues who sat near him, later came and told me how him and the girl were talking to each other and flirted with each other etc. He seemed a bit nervous and edgey when i was there in the canteen.... What does this alllll mean?! i am so confused?! If he acts one way towards me and makes me feel exclusive just during work, does he see me as just a work fling? How comes he doesnt flirt with other girls at work too? How comes he acts jelous when i talk to other guys? Who is this other girl? does this change everything between us now? do i continue acting normal like everytihng is cool? Help!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (12 September 2012):
 At work he has been a nice co-operative friend and you and he have also developed the friendship with communication via electronic means. Normally you start the conversation and he responds. And despite what is your obvious interest he has not asked you out on a date. NOt an official date that is.
I suspect that he is a nice guy who also has some very effective move to help develop some interest in a girl. He asks all the right questions to build intimacy, but he does not ask you out on a date.
He lets you know where he will be. That's considerate.
He wants to know a little more about you. He even asks you if you can cook, but he does not ask you out on a date.
He does the stare things and the hold eye contact and he voices to someone else (knowing you are likely to hear it back) that he does not like how another guy acted towards you and he even accepts a lunch that you made him (that was very nice of you) and yet he still does not ask you on a date.
And his charming modus-operandi would no doubt work very well on the girl in the canteen
He's still young, and he is honing his craft at being a charming affable likeable nice guy who can interest the girls enough to have the girls really really interested in him.
He may also be compartmentalising the girls. So he may be extra sweet to you. In the workplace, without it going too far that he is accused of harassing you. He wants you to do all the running. DON'T.
He should show more initiative if he is really interested in you.
But he may also flirt with another girl (or girls) in other places, where he sees that or those girls regularly.
He would have been very uncomfortable when he was sprung with the other girl in the canteen
He will be more careful next time.
Just make sure that you don't get your heart broken and accept that he is still exercising his flirty skills with the ladies right now. So truthfully he is single and does not have a GF. But that does not stop him flirting, when it suits him.
I don't think he is a bad guy in any way. He's maybe not ready though to have a permanent committed relationship with one girl, yet
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