A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So had a baby been together for two years and I dont think I want to be with him anymore.I love him but I'm falling out of love. Lately I've been sleeping on the couch in the living room, I dont enjoy kissing him or being all cuddly with him. I dont know what to do, if I leave him he will accuse me of breaking up our family. I'm tired I don't even look forward to seeing him. He works so much I only see him for a few hours in that time spent I dont feel anything at all. We both are busy and distant. Should I go? My daughter is 3 months.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2012): "I dont know what to do, if I leave him he will accuse me of breaking up our family"
If the only thing keeping your family together is to avoid accusations of desertion, then it is not healthy that this family be kept together because the very foundation is all wrong, and maybe it's time to move on so you can model what a healthy happy home should look like to your kid.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (4 September 2012):
 I agree with Abella, it sounds very likely that you have Post Partum Depression. Please seek help from a doctor immediately, this is very common for new moms to experience but you need to be treated for it as soon as possible. Once you have been diagnosed and treated then you can start to think about your relationship properly, but any thoughts you have about it now will be tainted by the depression so they wont be true reflections of how you are really feeling.
A mom and dad that are together is the best thing for your child, so you need to try and do all you can to make the relationship work. I think you will find that once you have been treated for the depression that your relationship should get back on track and the feelings you used to have for your boyfriend will come back.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2012): It very much sounds like post natal depression OP and it's very common. Sleeping on the couch and not even being able to look at your partner that was all fine before the baby arrived is kind of abnormal in the mental sense. Check out Abella's links and go see your doctor about this OP. Maybe we're wrong and you're perfectly happy but it's worth making sure first.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (4 September 2012):
 what a huge range of events you have experienced in the last two years. The start of a relationship that had all the promise of an enduring love. finding out you were pregnant and going through all the things a pregnancy bring. And the momentous experience of giving birth to your beautiful baby three months ago.
And your guy works really hard to provide for you your new baby, and you do not get to see him enough either.
And the first three months after a baby is born? It is difficult, very difficult. The first three months represents a huge change. There is feeding and changing and laundry and trying to get some sleep. No wonder many new mothers feel like a clock that no one remembered to wind and therefore every thing starts to become overwhelming.
And a proportion of all new mothers get something called PND. It's VERY treatable. It affects millions of women. And it is NOT your fault at all. The full name is PostNatalDepression.
Your Doctor can run through a checklist with you to identify if you have PND. And then with counselling and treatment the Doctor will recommend you will find the mood lifts and you can feel yourself again.
For your sake and your baby's sake please see the Doctor.
I think the first thing you need is to talk to your Doctor. Once your health is improving you can review the situation and see if you still feel the same way.
But please give your health a chance first and get some treatment.
Because if your are suffering from PND and it is not treated you will still be sad until it is treated.
if the Doctor does diagnose your symptoms as PND then I would also suggest you also give your guy some material on PND to read. So that he can better support you. I am sure he wants his wonderful girl back again.
I think starting afresh is premature until you have seen the Doctor and sought advice from the Doctor.
Maybe the following links may help you to understand that what is happening is a recognized medical condition that is not uncommon for new mothers. And is very fixable too.
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/postpartumdepression.html
http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?link_id=94
http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/what_is_postnatal_depression_-_panda.html
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/youafterthebirth/pnd/
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