A
female
age
30-35,
*ooki__11
writes:I have started liking a guy ( I havent had buttreflies for a guy in a good long while) so for me this is a bigish deal. Problem is we have hung out a couple of times and I can tell he is not nearly as into me as I am to him. He is always keen to hang when I msg him and when Im with him I love it - he is fun and charming, but a girl can tell when a guy is really interested and his levels of interest are not exactly up there. We dont hang out often because our jobs see us having very different schedules. But I want to see him more and see if we can connect, right now I feel something and want to explore that. But I know from past experience guys like to chase (and as a girl I want him to want me). I saw him last week and he said we should hang one night soon when he doesnt have work and I said 'sure lemme know.' Well I havent heard from him, I dont want to text him coz I texted first last time, I just really want him to text me. I guess I want a sneaky way to seduce him, to get him thinking of me and wanting to make time for me. Any suggestions from anyone. I might have to text first if he doesnt initiate contact soon. And that's alright Im happy to try one more time to spark something, but yeah guidance would be great.
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female
reader, Abella  +, writes (4 September 2012):
 hi
Ooh, he's a bit casual? That's hardly making a major effort. And not giving you much notice either.
I think i would suggest that, 'oh, i would have loved to, wish i'd known earlier, but i've already accepted an invitation to see friends tonight, in the opposite direction. Perhaps another time?'
Hopefully he will get the hint?
Because if you do go, what is he offering?
You make your own way there?
He may or may not find you.
He can flirt with anyone as you are not his specific 'date'
He can leave with you or another girl.
He may just say hello and then leave you to your own devices.
Then you may have to get yourself home.
Maybe he might spend time with you or not?
Regards
Abella
A
female
reader, Pooki__11 +, writes (4 September 2012):
Pooki__11 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell he just text me. Saying he would be out tonight at a particular club do if I wanna join then I should come along. Not exactly wooing but it was a text. I wanna see him but it was very short notice. Wat do u think I should text back??
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (3 September 2012):
You are welcome.
If he is worth your time then he needs to find the time to woo you.
And if he cannot see the beauty and uniqueness within you, or he chooses to not find the time? Then it is his loss.
Fingers crossed for you that he sees the light
Abella
x
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A
female
reader, Pooki__11 +, writes (3 September 2012):
Pooki__11 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your help Abella, I think I just really needed someone to say keep away from the phone. I want to contact him quite badly but my experience has been that the guys you let come after you always stick around for the long haul. Why is it always the case that the guys you dont want chase you and the ones you do, dont even know that you exist. The painful circle of life.
Wish he would call soon.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (2 September 2012):
Sit tight and don't even think of texting him.
Make sure you look nice if you accidentally run into him.
But let him do ALL the running. I mean you don't want t0 waste your time on a guy who is not willing to put in the hard yards and try to convince you that he is the one?
Surely you don't want to make it easy for him and serve yourself up on a plate?
Too often girls get a guy then lose a guy because he was never their guy in the first place. The girl makes it TOO obvious at the start that she likes a guy. He had not noticed her until she flirted. But he sees that she likes him. He could be in two minds about her, but as soon as she signals that she likes him he thinks, "Ah she likes me, Ah! Half the battle is won. I don't have to try to hard. She is mine anyway."
So he goes along with it for a while.
But does not really like the girl and there is no fun of chasing the girl.
So eventually he gets bored and they break up. Everyone loses.
Be smarter - keep on looking good. Keep on smiling.
But expect him to initiate the contact. Expect him to chase you. Show you how keen he is.
Then you know you are on a winner.
So in answer to your question. Keep on dressing nicely. Keep fit. Keep smiling. Don't laugh like a hyena (sorry thinking of the girl I once knew at school) and Don't talk too much. LISTEN listen LISTEN and LISTEN AGAIN. Guys love you to listen to them
Stay positive and reel them in.
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