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... Send *bella a private message | | | *bella's profile:"Always be Kinder than necessary"... J M Barrie
I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)
And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf
“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “
"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."
That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.
And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.
When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:
With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.
Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.
We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.
It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.
In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.
Never underestimate such a person.
Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.
A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.
Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.
The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:
“A leader leads by example not by force. “
And now some less well known quotes:
“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”
by Daisaku Ikeda
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
by Maya Angelou
“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”
by Zainab Alsaati
Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')
'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie
I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person
'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)
"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,
kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer
'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.
Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie
"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson
“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa
"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt
'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie
what's your favourite quote?
But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.
There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.
They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.
Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.
There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?
Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.
Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.
What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?
Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:
Negativity?
Passive Aggression?
Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?
Envy
Jealousy
For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.
The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.
Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.
Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.
Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.
Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified. |
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Answer number 1200000 has been posted. Achievements on dearcupid.org. Who will ask question number 300,000 on this site?
Q. One question this week, a few days before the end of the year 2012 on DearCupid.org has reached a real Zenith. A milestone. And a great achievement for the site dearcupid.org. Poster called CMMP has penned an answer and it is answer number 1200...
A. 24 January 2016: Post below refers to an update posted against this article today:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/22--great-articles-from-great-aunts-and.html... (read in full...)
Answer number 1200000 has been posted. Achievements on dearcupid.org. Who will ask question number 300,000 on this site?
Q. One question this week, a few days before the end of the year 2012 on DearCupid.org has reached a real Zenith. A milestone. And a great achievement for the site dearcupid.org. Poster called CMMP has penned an answer and it is answer number 1200...
A. 24 January 2016: In addition to the post today, below, on how the public shaped the Dearcupid.org site by providing many suggestions, you may also like to know the current statistics on the number of posts published on the site:
As far as the most up to date sta... (read in full...)
Answer number 1200000 has been posted. Achievements on dearcupid.org. Who will ask question number 300,000 on this site?
Q. One question this week, a few days before the end of the year 2012 on DearCupid.org has reached a real Zenith. A milestone. And a great achievement for the site dearcupid.org. Poster called CMMP has penned an answer and it is answer number 1200...
A. 23 February 2015: I have a new question to look out for. It will be the Question that becomes Question number 320,000 or just over that.
It's a goal that's getting closer too - DearCupid has now exceeded 318,000 questions published.
It can take great courage to a... (read in full...)
Answer number 1200000 has been posted. Achievements on dearcupid.org. Who will ask question number 300,000 on this site?
Q. One question this week, a few days before the end of the year 2012 on DearCupid.org has reached a real Zenith. A milestone. And a great achievement for the site dearcupid.org. Poster called CMMP has penned an answer and it is answer number 1200...
A. 7 January 2015: And joining CMMP who reached answer number 1,200,000 there is now CattyCakes who reached answer number 1,300,000 with the answer to this question:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/My-friend-down-the-street-is-befriending-my.html
Well done Cat... (read in full...)
Answer number 1200000 has been posted. Achievements on dearcupid.org. Who will ask question number 300,000 on this site?
Q. One question this week, a few days before the end of the year 2012 on DearCupid.org has reached a real Zenith. A milestone. And a great achievement for the site dearcupid.org. Poster called CMMP has penned an answer and it is answer number 1200...
A. 7 January 2015: another 100,000 plus answers have been posted since this article started. Another milestone reached.
Keep those answers flowing and DearCupid.org will reach 1,500,000 answers.
Post your answers today to help dearcupid.org achieve that tar... (read in full...)
Answer number 1200000 has been posted. Achievements on dearcupid.org. Who will ask question number 300,000 on this site?
Q. One question this week, a few days before the end of the year 2012 on DearCupid.org has reached a real Zenith. A milestone. And a great achievement for the site dearcupid.org. Poster called CMMP has penned an answer and it is answer number 1200...
A. 23 June 2013: this is question number 300,000 on this site.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/she-shows-no-interest-in-me-except-pushing.html
So I think the next goal answer number 1250000 answers. I will keep you all posted when that achievement is reached. ... (read in full...)
Answer number 1200000 has been posted. Achievements on dearcupid.org. Who will ask question number 300,000 on this site?
Q. One question this week, a few days before the end of the year 2012 on DearCupid.org has reached a real Zenith. A milestone. And a great achievement for the site dearcupid.org. Poster called CMMP has penned an answer and it is answer number 1200...
A. 20 June 2013: Three Hundred Thousand Questions Asked.
Yes yes yes yes!
The Milestone has happened! Yes, this week question number 300,000 was asked. The question was anonymous. But I will post on the question just so that the poster knows they were part of this ... (read in full...)
I thought we were in love, but she was out cheating on me!
Q. I am a lesbian, and my girlfriend of 3 years, I just found out has been cheating on me , she's moved in with the other women a block away from me and they got married today!! All in 6 weeks!! And they say they are soul mates!!! How would you feel ...
A. 2 January 2013: Hi Nolamads
Thank you for the update. Come back here any time you need any support.
Hope things get better in the new year for you.
Time heals so much. But that's not much help when you are in the very very hurt initial stage of betrayal. ... (read in full...)
I got pregnant from a drunken night with my ex and he doesn't want me to have the baby!
Q. I broke up with my ex at the start of the year a few months later I met another man, things with him seemed great at first but quickly got worse as we were both still hung up on our ex's. Things came to an end but we stayed in touch and about a ...
A. 1 January 2013: In truth you will meet a nicer guy and you will know what to look for.
I have a good friend who had a baby at 42. And another friend has 3 children under 5 and she turns 42 this year.
Have faith and confidence in you.
If you have a baby first i... (read in full...)
I got pregnant from a drunken night with my ex and he doesn't want me to have the baby!
Q. I broke up with my ex at the start of the year a few months later I met another man, things with him seemed great at first but quickly got worse as we were both still hung up on our ex's. Things came to an end but we stayed in touch and about a ...
A. 31 December 2012: Hi
I have to agree about the lack of father involvement part. I have seen children whose father's were violent and mean and nasty and eventually walked out on the young mother. A few years later the children asked about their father but the fath... (read in full...)
I thought we were in love, but she was out cheating on me!
Q. I am a lesbian, and my girlfriend of 3 years, I just found out has been cheating on me , she's moved in with the other women a block away from me and they got married today!! All in 6 weeks!! And they say they are soul mates!!! How would you feel ...
A. 31 December 2012:
It would make me feel exceeedingly betrayed and I would be very very hurt if this had been done to me.
Temporarily it would shatter my confidence and shatter my belief in my ability to 'read' people.
After three years one usually knows ju... (read in full...)
I got pregnant from a drunken night with my ex and he doesn't want me to have the baby!
Q. I broke up with my ex at the start of the year a few months later I met another man, things with him seemed great at first but quickly got worse as we were both still hung up on our ex's. Things came to an end but we stayed in touch and about a ...
A. 30 December 2012: hi,
It's your body and the baby is growing within you. If he wants no part of the baby then you'll probably end up registering the baby with 'father not stated' if he refuses to acknowledge the baby. If that is the case you can take him to Cour... (read in full...)
In love with my step mom's step sister but it's a secret. Curious what to do and say?
Q. Ok the situation is I have a STEP mom who has a STEP sister and her and I believe that we love one another. Through the family we believe family. But, at the same time we are no blood relation what so ever. Is it right or is it wrong? I don't kn...
A. 30 December 2012: hi
Not by blood, but by marriage she's a Step-Step-Aunt. That's well removed.
Though you step Mom might find it a bit icky. Since if you married your Step-Step-Aunt you would end up becoming brother-in-law (of sorts) of your step mother. And your... (read in full...)
I am having real issues with my boyfriend smoking weed and I don't know if I am overreacting or not.
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for 2.5 years now, and in the last six months he has started smoking weed regularly. I have never liked weed for no other reason that it smells bad and is a waste of time and money in my opinion, but I have ...
A. 30 December 2012: Has he been under additional stress in recent months? Is he having work issues?
Or is he behaving in ways that he knows will turn you off, yet he does not care if you are turned off by his actions?
Or is he attempting to bring about a situatio... (read in full...)
Happy Xmas from DearCupid
Q. Happy Xmas everyone :-) The aunts who share their wisdom, the people who share their questions and the team of moderators who keep everything flowing onto the site! Plus the 350,000 people who visit each month Have a great Xmas! Feel free t...
A. 30 December 2012: I found this gorgeous early message in DearCupid from DearCupid.
so I thought I'd add my Good Wishes for a Happy New Year to all DearCupid users - all the brave people who ask questions and all the caring people who answer questions and all the grea... (read in full...)
I want to date. But I'm also carer for my mother and sister. How have other carers been able to juggle studies, caring and me-time or even a relationship?
Q. I hate starting these off but basically I'm 17, I have only ever had 1 boyfriend and that's because I'm a carer for my mum and sister, my mum has COPD and my sister has cerebal palsy. Over the past few weeks I've started developing a crush on this ...
A. 30 December 2012: Respite? Is that a term you are familiar with? Because if you do not get a little respite on a regular basis you will burn out. You are already feeling the pressure, I can see that.
The people you care for may be Very resistant to any mention ... (read in full...)
My story, update and appreciation to everyone who has helped me.
Q. I haven't wrote an article on this site recently and well I think its about time as i'm so valued here that I update my life, and well give everyone an insight to why I came on this site and why I love giving people advice and help. ...
A. 29 December 2012: Dear Almighty Duck,
What a lovely article. I had a smile on my face, and felt delighted and happy for you as I read your article from start to finish.
Losing your Uncle meant an extra burden on you.
However I am thrilled to hear you sounding so ... (read in full...)
Is my female boss taking advantage? She wants me to provide her with sex. What can I do?
Q. it is with big pain and confusion I write this. I have never told this to any one. I have been away for a month for work and my boss (female, may be around 38-40) was also there. Though she was my boss, we were in good friendship. As the bed was...
A. 29 December 2012: This article might also be helpful for you to read.
Many countries in the world understand the dynamics of unequal power in a relationship. ANY employer/boss/person in a higher postion in the company should never have sexual relations with ANY... (read in full...)
Is my female boss taking advantage? She wants me to provide her with sex. What can I do?
Q. it is with big pain and confusion I write this. I have never told this to any one. I have been away for a month for work and my boss (female, may be around 38-40) was also there. Though she was my boss, we were in good friendship. As the bed was...
A. 29 December 2012: PS: Any form of sexual harassment of another person is always wrong. This is still true even if the victim ended up enjoying the sex.
As sex progresses the sexual stimulation may well be enjoyable. You have NO reason to excuse her predator... (read in full...)
Is my female boss taking advantage? She wants me to provide her with sex. What can I do?
Q. it is with big pain and confusion I write this. I have never told this to any one. I have been away for a month for work and my boss (female, may be around 38-40) was also there. Though she was my boss, we were in good friendship. As the bed was...
A. 29 December 2012: If you can I suggest that you look for a new job.
Your existing boss sounds disreputable that she would take advantage of one of her employees and coerce him into sex. That is wrong of her and a misuse of her power position.
IF you leave ... (read in full...)
Is it only me who gets upset that some people cheat, and then want to keep that fact a secret from their partner?
Q. Some Posters seem to be condoneing cheaters and ex promiscus people. Why do people think that its ok to lie to their husbands or wifes??? I just read where one agony aunt said "don't beat yourself up over it you just felt a connection so yo...
A. 28 December 2012: I was cheated on once. The moment I knew it we were over. It took me seconds only to make that decision. No second chance, and I did not want to hear excuses. I would have regarded any excuse as sludge. So I did NOT need to explain myself. The ... (read in full...)
I packed my bags and left after he hid me from his mother.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 2years going into our 3rd. We have been living together for 2years straight. Last year he cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend and i forgave him. Earlier this year we went for an HIV test and discovered he was HIV+...
A. 27 December 2012: Your decision is not hard enough. If you stay with him there is a very high chance that he will give you HIV too.
He cheated and he risked your health. He hid you like he's ashamed of you.
Say Goodbye and never look back.
... (read in full...)
I want somebody to love.
Q. I feel like I will never be able to be successful with women. The only girls I have ever been good at flirting with are ones I am not actually attracted to deeply. I'm a virgin at 19 and am going through medicine. I had an ex who I was with for 2 ...
A. 27 December 2012: You need to feel really GOOD about you first. If you put yourself down then (since you know you better than anyone else) how are others expected to be able to see through that smoke screen to see the GOOD in you?
Confidence is the first stage of... (read in full...)
How do I get people to stop gifting me live Plants? I tell them I don't want them. I give them alternative ideas. They all ignore me
Q. This sounds really stupid, but it is getting on my nerves to the point where it is very hurtful to me. The issue is that I really like plants and I have a green thumb. My wife and my in-laws knows this, so for some years know they have been gif...
A. 27 December 2012: This is lazy and inconsiderate of the people who are doing this to you.
And the more you accept the presents the more they think they can continue to do this to you.
You and your wife should still exchange presents but surely everyone els... (read in full...)
Husband is never around for me or our baby. Should I wait or hand him the divorce papers?
Q. I'm young, this I know but like most people my age I don't have all aspects of my life figured out and i'm not sure where to go from here. I have been married for about 2 years now and I have a 8month old baby with my husband, but now i'm not sure...
A. 26 December 2012: I know that counselling can be very expensive. So these three links might be helpful to you.
They might help you to go in the right direction for your sake and the sake of your child and your marriage.
here they are:
http://divorc... (read in full...)
Husband is never around for me or our baby. Should I wait or hand him the divorce papers?
Q. I'm young, this I know but like most people my age I don't have all aspects of my life figured out and i'm not sure where to go from here. I have been married for about 2 years now and I have a 8month old baby with my husband, but now i'm not sure...
A. 26 December 2012: Right now your husband does not sound mature enough to be a father. He is missing out on being a father to his child.
He is putting you on hold almost like a FWB plus a child -with you as a single parent most of the time.
And I suspect that mon... (read in full...)
Thank you Dear Cupid. This is a WONDERFUL site. You showed me good directions when I was lost.
Q. I just want to say thanks to all the wonderful people at dear cupid. Since from the beginning of the you have shown love and good advices. Mostly thanks to the wonderful founder of dear cupid. Its so good to know that there's someone out there who ...
A. 26 December 2012: hi Mpunie,
I totally agree with you.
This site was so well organised right from the start.
DearCupid thought of all the best things to make this site the best there is.
The guidelines are clear and well explained.
The fantastic Aunts and f... (read in full...)
Answer number 1200000 has been posted. Achievements on dearcupid.org. Who will ask question number 300,000 on this site?
Q. One question this week, a few days before the end of the year 2012 on DearCupid.org has reached a real Zenith. A milestone. And a great achievement for the site dearcupid.org. Poster called CMMP has penned an answer and it is answer number 1200...
A. 26 December 2012: And now the very same week DearCupid has gone past 290,000 questions asked on DearCupid. That's much faster than I expected. Though it was anonymous so congratulations to a particular question asker aren't possible.
But there is still that elus... (read in full...)
My professor seems interested in me. How should I deal with this?
Q. Hi. Last year, my professor stared twice at my body during the lectures. I am aged 40. After the course, he asked me to go to come to his office to help me with my thesis. I went there every week. He was soo nice, kind, heplful and a gentleman....
A. 26 December 2012: there are many ''highly respected'' men (in their sphere) who also continuously CHEAT on their wife. And STAY married to their wife always.
This guy is looking for opportunities. Assessing who is more likely to be easy to seduce and then he'll go h... (read in full...)
My professor seems interested in me. How should I deal with this?
Q. Hi. Last year, my professor stared twice at my body during the lectures. I am aged 40. After the course, he asked me to go to come to his office to help me with my thesis. I went there every week. He was soo nice, kind, heplful and a gentleman....
A. 25 December 2012: you may have been flattered by his attention.
He may see every new intake of students. every year, as his to use for his own lustful purposes.
Sounds like he has "playing his students" down to a fine art. Always on the look out for someone who ... (read in full...)
Our marriage deteriorates day by day. Sex is almost non-existent. Problems beset us. What can you advise? Because we need help now.
Q. I am having difficulty sleeping with my husband. We have been together for the past 6 years but our relationship seems to deteriorate by the day. In the beginning we couldn’t keep our hands off each other but these days the very thought of bein...
A. 25 December 2012: There are deep seated issues in your marriage. The passion existed in the beginning. The fact that you are asking for help means that you do care and you do want to set things to move forward in the right direction, towards greater happiness in your ... (read in full...)
I want to break up. What he is doing is very wrong. What can I do and how do I deal with his threat?
Q. Modnote: One this first occasion only your text speak was tidied up. Do NOT submit in text speak again. I need your help. I have this bf who I only know him through chatting He claims that he love me so much and that he's ready to get married to m...
A. 24 December 2012: First you block him and stopper up any line of contact that he may be able to use to connect with you.
Disable and close down any online accounts you have and your Facebook.
You can always start them up again, though not any time soon. you ca... (read in full...)
Is keeping a memory box lame and depressing? My friends comment upset me!
Q. I just wanted to get another opinion on this as my friends comment I thought was rude and didn't make sense... Basically, in my room at university I put in this wristband someone gave me the night before from an epic night out in this box. She as...
A. 20 December 2012: you are completely normal to do this.
Photos are great memories, but so are special items.
I still have a tiny purse my penfriend sent to me when I was 8. The christening gown. I have a special drawer for every hand made greeting card mad for... (read in full...)
I'm starting to wish I was single again. Should I attempt counselling to try and heal?
Q. I am starting to wish I could be single more and more. I am really regretting to marry my wife. I wish this could be turned around. Last night I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. What I mean is to honor my commitment t...
A. 19 December 2012: you can wallow in self pity or you can use the time she is away wisely.
but i think you prefer to go over and over the state of the predicament you are in instead of making yourself completely unavailable to this women. Physically, emotionally, psyc... (read in full...)
Why would my unmarried 37 year old boss call me Auntie at work? What's he trying to convey by that?
Q. Hi friends, I m a female of 30 yrs.but look short of my age. People in my office find me as of 25years only. I am unmarried, reserve by nature and professional. But sometimes my boss (who is around 37 but unmarried) calls me 'auntie'... and smil...
A. 19 December 2012: hi
It is over-familiar but it is also a cultural thing.
He might think he's being kind or generous, but in fact he is reinforcing that you are his servant and he's the boss.
In Indian families female servants who are in the long term employ... (read in full...)
The need to be responsible when responding to posts
Q. When the Aunts and Uncles provide an answer to peoples problems its sometimes hard to remember that the writers are often heartbroken. When you read the same situation arising repeatedly its easy to think 'here we go again'. Its easy to think th...
A. 19 December 2012: This is a very timely reminder. Often I think people are so "inside" their problem that they need some gentle and kind coaxing to come out of the shadows of what they are facing.
Being unkind and cruel is not advice.
Being sarcastic and sc... (read in full...)
Am I supposed to feel hungry when dieting? And any tips on losing weight, for a woman aged 50?
Q. Hi there, I m very confused about dieting and weight loss, and because I would love to get in shape I really would like to share some experiences. So it is harder to lose weight at menopausal age, as I heard, but I was getting conflicting advice. ...
A. 18 December 2012: Make vegetables your friend.
In winter make a big pot of vegetable soup. Serve it when ever you feel the need.
Here is one I use:
saute the following in a tiny amount of spray oil.
one finely diced brown onion
one leek (the white part)... (read in full...)
I'm starting to wish I was single again. Should I attempt counselling to try and heal?
Q. I am starting to wish I could be single more and more. I am really regretting to marry my wife. I wish this could be turned around. Last night I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. What I mean is to honor my commitment t...
A. 16 December 2012: What magic answer are you looking for? That you married the right woman? No you did not. That your wife will change if you can just discover the right moves? No she will not. That deep down your wife loves you? No, all her actions indicate tha... (read in full...)
I'm starting to wish I was single again. Should I attempt counselling to try and heal?
Q. I am starting to wish I could be single more and more. I am really regretting to marry my wife. I wish this could be turned around. Last night I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. What I mean is to honor my commitment t...
A. 12 December 2012: hi Soul,
You seem to be going around in circles repeating some things you mentioned earlier.
And you seem to be trying way too hard to impress your wife. What is she doing to impress you? Fair is fair.
Do you think that maybe you are trying too h... (read in full...)
I'm starting to wish I was single again. Should I attempt counselling to try and heal?
Q. I am starting to wish I could be single more and more. I am really regretting to marry my wife. I wish this could be turned around. Last night I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. What I mean is to honor my commitment t...
A. 9 December 2012: For Goodness sake you are living with a dangerous deranged cruel woman. Thousands of men enduring Domestic Abuse at the hands of a cruel woman DO walk out.
Don't hint you are walking out. Instead consult a Divorce lawyer
Don't threaten to walk out... (read in full...)
Her Fiance was caught cheating. How can I help her see him more clearly and help her heal from her blinded love?
Q. how can i convince my friend that her to-be-husband is not worth keeping? all her family have had many doubts before with no hard evidence, but now he has been caught with a women in their village. Relatives saw them and told her. Yet she wouldn...
A. 9 December 2012: Take a round about route to get her to gently see the truth.
Accept and reognise that she feels she is really committed to this guy and really loves him.
Focus on his ACTIONS only. not him as a person, no matter what you do think of him
Ask one o... (read in full...)
Why am I so hesitant about having sex with this man? What could be holding me back?
Q. I met this man on an online dating site. The first time we went out he scared me be the way he was over excited to see me. He literally ran towards me to hug me I felt so frightened that I automatically put my hands up. We had talked on the ph...
A. 8 December 2012: you need to listen to your inner voice. Our brains compute so many many clues from many many sources.
Some people call it intuition. But in truth your brain has absorbed so many non-verbal clues and you have no need whatsoever to feel any guil... (read in full...)
I like two of my cousins. They are both great guys but I don't know which one to choose. Help please!
Q. HI, Sorry if this seems long now by some chance,but i really need advice! So Basically, There are these two guys which i like,but the problem is that they are both cousins. The thing is like i like one of the guys because he is gorgeous, extr...
A. 8 December 2012: One of the most reliable rules I have seen evidence of is that if you cannot decide on which person is the right one then neither is the right one.
Because if you had met the ONE then you would not even notice that anyone else existed. The ONE woul... (read in full...)
I've found the right guy to lose my virginity to and I want to make our first time special, any advice?
Q. Hello aunts. I'm not sure where to start really but basically i've been dating my boyfriend for around 3 months and we are yet to sleep together as i'm still a virgin and my boyfriend seems to understand that i'm worried about it but i know he is...
A. 7 December 2012: you would be far better to wait longer and allow things to move more slowly towards the big day.
Three months is way too impatient for this to happen.
If he is the ONE then he will happily wait much longer and value you all the more for waiting.... (read in full...)
I'm starting to wish I was single again. Should I attempt counselling to try and heal?
Q. I am starting to wish I could be single more and more. I am really regretting to marry my wife. I wish this could be turned around. Last night I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. What I mean is to honor my commitment t...
A. 5 December 2012: Your wife is TOXIC to your good health in the future.
And she is TOXIC when it comes to trying to undermine you.
And further she is wrong.
I have met some very successful couples.
Invariably they are ON THE SAME PAGE as far as their values and... (read in full...)
I'm starting to wish I was single again. Should I attempt counselling to try and heal?
Q. I am starting to wish I could be single more and more. I am really regretting to marry my wife. I wish this could be turned around. Last night I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. What I mean is to honor my commitment t...
A. 3 December 2012: She sounds so convincingly TOXIC that the only option appears to be that you tell her to go back to her ex.
That you will move on and move forward without her.
This is an unhealthy relationship.
Without her putting you down I suspect that you cou... (read in full...)
I'm starting to wish I was single again. Should I attempt counselling to try and heal?
Q. I am starting to wish I could be single more and more. I am really regretting to marry my wife. I wish this could be turned around. Last night I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. What I mean is to honor my commitment t...
A. 3 December 2012: my view has always been that if you love and adore a person then you would happily live in a tent with them on the edge of the river, and still be happy, since they are with you,
But...
If a person is NOT in love with you then 16 bedrooms , 21 bat... (read in full...)
Would like to hear some advice about being with a widower
Q. Would like to hear some advice about being with a widower How do you know if they're ready, and can they be very warm and flirty one day, and more withdrawn, though still very friendly, another time? I really like this guy, he's been widowed jus...
A. 2 December 2012: It may be a cultural thing that he is hesitant. I was a younger widow than you when I was widowed and my problem was not finding one nice man. My irritation was men approaching me who I was absolutely not interested in. I mean a married neighbor, NO ... (read in full...)
She is a weak woman who thinks with her heart and not her head. what is wrong with her?
Q. hi i got myself into a tissy and i my conscious is getting the best of me. sometime ago i connected with a woman on a dating site. i didnt tell her i was bi and not divorced and occassionally sleeping with my husband and my man boss. she thinks...
A. 2 December 2012: You want this woman all to yourself - you want her available to you, at your discretion. Because she is gorgeous. So does that suggest she is a trophy to you? Yet you also want to get her to back off a little, so you want to let her down, but ke... (read in full...)
I'm starting to wish I was single again. Should I attempt counselling to try and heal?
Q. I am starting to wish I could be single more and more. I am really regretting to marry my wife. I wish this could be turned around. Last night I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. What I mean is to honor my commitment t...
A. 1 December 2012: She demonstrating all the signs that she really is not committed to you at all. You married her, so you provided her with one thing she wanted. Citizenship.
How the next stage. She IS looking for a richer husband.
Without doubt she does not lov... (read in full...)
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