Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2011): she is a shameless woman. her and her knock offs will be laughing at you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011): Tell your own and her family what she gets up to and they will be disappointed you have even considered marrying her.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2011): If you marry this person, you will regret it every day of your life.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2011): Dating sites and guys numbers yes? There`s not much more you need to see. No one in a normal mind would have proceeded with wedding plans under your circumstance. You should not be here asking what to do. There is only one thing to do and that is end it. Her family may know her a lot more than you realise,and if they dont like the truth, then so what!!! Its unreasonable to expect anyone to marry her.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2011): Call it off. Tell everyone why. Her family will either choose not to believe it, or will know her well enough believe you. Dont set yourself up for a lifetime of emotional abuse.
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female
reader, delightful84  +, writes (2 December 2011):
It will be the biggest mistake of your life. I dread to see what your life would be like as soon as she gets the 7 year itch. What she is doing is abuse and I cannot understand why you never left after the 2nd time you found her CHEATING on you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2011): People who cancel their weddings because they realize they don't actually like the person they're set to marry, years later will never regret that decision instead they will look upon it as the best decision they could have made and a close call too.
People who decide to go along with the marriage anyway despite feeling this way about the other person, cos of fear of consequences if they back out, almost always end up regretting it bitterly. Going along with a marriage to appease others isn't like going along to a restaurant you don't like just to appease others. The latter results in one day of discomfort for you which you can look forward to being over soon. Going along with a marriage you don't want, there will be no end to your misery because marriage is supposed to last forever, and divorce while certainly an option, also is expensive and can financially ruin or other aspects of your life you so you may not really have that as an option either.
Your choice.
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female
reader, chocoholicforever  +, writes (2 December 2011):
Yes it is far better not to get married and disappoint your families, than to proceed with marriage.
Marriage vs. not-getting-married may disappoint other people but affects you FAR MORE than it affects anyone else who may stand to be merely disappointed by you.
you would basically be sacrificing your daily welfare and living conditions, just so that someone else who doesn't walk in your shoes doesn't have to feel their own relatively superficial disappointment. And if you some day decide you need to end the marriage for your own sake, it will be costly financially and logistically and the "disappointment" to those other people will be magnified even more than it would be now if you simply called off the marriage.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2011): Look mate... GET RID!!!!
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (1 December 2011):
 Your families have NOTHING to do with your decision.....
Your intended sounds like a real conniver.... and I can't - for the life of me - imagine WHY you would want to be married to her.....
The final decision is your's....
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (1 December 2011):
 this relationship is OVER.
A lifetime of misery is too much to ask of anyone.
BREAK OFF with her today. She is too dishonest and shallow and not worthy of you.
What your families want, think, expect represent are their issues.
What you want and need is a loving faithful woman who shares your values and who is genuine, honest and loves you.
She does not love you
You do not love her
Do you want to bring children into such a toxic relationship?
Things will only get worse if you do not BREAK UP with this woman.
Allow her to find the man of her dreams, for you are not that, to her.
Every moment you stay
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 December 2011):
 DO NOT get married. NO NO NO NO NO! DO NOT GET MARRIED.
FWIW, many years ago my cousin cancelled a HUGE wedding THREE WEEKS before the event. She never regretted not marrying him.
she's leaving clues for you to find so you will end it. clearly she wants to get caught...
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (1 December 2011):
 THe families don't have to live your life! and it seems you do have to live your life...and...it looks like you'd be better off alone than under the thumb of a controller. I'd walk, no excuses, no explanation. it's your life you can live it if you want to. No thinking about it just
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2011): the woman is making a joke of you. dont marry that type of woman. odds are tha she has cheated on you already. she wouldnt know how to be faithful it isnt her style.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2011): Dont even think about marrying her. I would end it with her period!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2011): I have first hand experience of exactly this. Do not get married,it doesnt go away. I lived with this crap for at least 6 years. Do you think it ever stops? I am telling you it doesnt.
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female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (1 December 2011):
Do not even think about marrying her. She has not an inch of respect for you and must see you as an idiot. I agree,if she is like that now,she will be far worse after you are married. She is under the belief that she can do just what the hell she wants.
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female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (1 December 2011):
If she is not committed to you now, your vows will mean nothing when you marry.
Won't your families be even more disappointed if you marry only to divorce later on?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 December 2011):
 I agree with CaringGuy, she doesn't want to be married - at least not to you.
And do yourself a favor and DO NOT marry her. Your families will get over it. A ring on her finger will NOT fix this, it will NOT make her stop.
You obviously can't even talk to her about this without getting met with anger and resentment, it's not way to have a relationship and certainly not a marriage.
I'm sorry, honey, time to shit or get off the pot.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (1 December 2011):
 Disappoint the families now, she's not a respectful woman. Better now than later when you have to divorce.
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female
reader, bluecow +, writes (1 December 2011):
 There would be no way on earth that I could be induced to marry someone who I was sure was actively being unfaithful.
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male
reader, Odds +, writes (1 December 2011):
 DO NOT marry this woman. She will cheat on you, then divorce you and take everything, and she'll sleep like a baby afterwards.
Your families will be far more disappointed by an acrimonious divorce than they would by sensibly calling off the marriage.
If she's disloyal now, during the engagement, which is pretty much the peak of any woman's desire for her man, how do you think she'll be after you've been married for a year and the spark has died?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2011): I agree with CaringGuy, do not marry this woman, she clearly isn't committed to the relationship and is not to be trusted.
Just do what makes you happy never mind the families, they won't be in this marriage day to day - you would.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (1 December 2011):
Absolutely DO NOT get married to this woman. She doesn't really want to get married either, hence why she's doing what she is on chatrooms. You yourself has indiscretions, and you don't want to get married.
Never mind who will be disappointed. It's better to have a disappointed family, rather than live an utterly miserable life with a woman who clearly couldn't give a damn.
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