A
female
age
26-29,
xTheAlmightyDuckx
writes:Well basically I am 14 years old and i would like to share a story which really really changed my way that I view the world and why you shouldn't take people for granted. All names included in this stroy are made up ones. I had a friend named (fake) Brandon, we had been good friends since i had moved to my new middle school and he was the first person who became friends with me. He had always stood by me. Despite his rather annoying ways and immature sense of humour i had always been very fond of him. I got into a group when i was about 12, they were basically a bunch of popular kids who had warmed to me because we had a few similar tastes, Brandon however had always said they were bad but i was just happy to be popular because i had never had my own group of friends before. We really hit it off me and this popular group and as i was a huge tom boy i had got on with the boys the most, when i had my first summer holidays at my new school i decided i would spend it with this new popular group of boys. They were really awesome but as time went on i soon noticed they had a very irriatating sense of humour. They liked taking the mick out of each other which i understood and like to, but recently i had started to be the butt of there jokes and it would go on and on all day and even all week. They took it too far and i soon got the impression they didn't want me around which made me sad. I then found out halfway through the summer holidays that Brandons farther had passed away but as i didn't know where he lived i couldn't speak to him. Anyway at the end of the summer holidays these bunch of boys told me they had hated me after about a month of knowing me and had pretended to be my friends. This really upset me and they started being horrible. I stuck to just now hanging out with the girls. When i went back to school, despite Brandon starting a week later and ovbiously grieving because of his farther he tryed his best to support and tell me that those boys were just mean. Brandon then started coming round my house, and we started hanging out at weekends, i for some reason had treated everyone (including Brandon) who wasn't in the popular group like crap. I would often lash out at Brandon for many different reasons. One time when he was round my house, i argued with him because i couldn't get my own way, i then started saying aload of mean things to him, and left the room. When i came back in the room he was crying i asked him what was wrong he said it was because he missed his dad i beleived him and just gave him a hug. As time went on i took more and more things out on Brandon and more and more people joined in. He soon became someone who everyone took everything out on. When i turned 13 i soon noticed i was different to other girls, i became really self concious because of the way people would make fun out of my looks and because i was over weight. My self esteem went rock bottom. Brandon was the only one who would tell me i looked nice and say that there was nothing wrong with me because I had beauty on the inside and on the outside. I think it was the nicest thing anyone had said to me, but i still carried on to be mean to him. I then became friends again with this group of boys Brandon said again that they weren't good friends and i should not be fooled. I carried on ignoring him and just was happy to be popular again. Brandon then revealed in the second summer holidays that he had feelings for me (even though we were only children) He said he felt as though i was his bestestfriend. I was extreamly mean to him about it and rejected him countless times and told everyone about it which really really hurt him. Then nearing the end of the run up to highschool his eldest brother died due to a motorbike accient. He was grief stricken but being the bitch i was i offered him no support. I tryed to contact him in the summer holidays but he wouldn't reply, i kept trying but he ignored me. I speant that summer holiday alone and didn't see him once. When i went to highschool we were in different classes. I didn't see him much and when i went to talk to him he kept it short and simple then walked off. I really started to miss him and realize just how much i wanted to be friends with him again. My other friends one by one started to turn on me, including all of the boys. When they did i realized how right Brandon was. I soon had no one to talk to and started to become a targart for older kids to tease. Then in Novemeber my uncle passed away after i had wished death on him i was so freaked out that i went into a turmoil of grief and stopped going out. I was having more and more crap piled on top of me and i felt like i was going insane. I returned to school a week later, and now i had one good friend left, when i went to see her she told me how useless i was and pretty much done exactly what i had done to Brandon. I now knew what it felt like It hit me like a brick wall, i had made a hard time for Brandon even worse and now it was happening to me. I tryed over the next weeks to apolygize to Brandon, and tell him how bad i felt but he said it was fine, even though i knew he didn't really mean it. I soon started to get bullied more and more each day i lost all my friends, my family became a wreck, we had real bad money problems and all of this resulted in a mental break down for me and i haven't seen Brandon or been back to school ever since. Its a year on now and thank god i have recovered from all that happened. I was horrible to the one person who had believed in me from day one. I took him for granted and not once thought about his feelings and karma got me for it. I wrote this to make people realize that everyone has feelings and if you treat somneone like crap then you one will know what it feels like. Think about peoples feelings you have no idea what they are going through and how you could be making them feel by being mean to them. I have learnt from my actions now and tbh i never want to be popular again in fact as long as i have friends who stand by me know matter if its just the one i willl never ever take them for granted again. I'm due to go back to school after not being there for a year. Brandon shall be there but the ball's in his court he can speak to me if he wants and if not i won't blame him. Anyway Thanks for reading this and i really hope you understand the moral of my story and yeah thankyou :)
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female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (1 December 2011):
xTheAlmightyDuckx is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thankyou alot. And i can assure you this isn't being hard on myself it is simply telling the truth. Like my friend Brandon I only understood death when it acutally happened, the bit that freaked me out so much was everyone done what i did to Brandon just after his farther died and i kind of felt for a month like i wasn't acutally living in my shoes. I do understand that the death of my uncle wasn't my fault of course, but I am happy that i went from being a rather spiteful closed minded person to someone who realized everyone is eqaul especially in death. I am almost fully recovered, just have to get back to school and tackle my anxiety which is already getting better. Apart from that i am rather happy as a person and it really has improved my family life and everything else. Thank you for your kind words. :)
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (1 December 2011):
 Almighty Duck you are wise beyond your years. Empathy takes some people years, before they 'get it'. You are already understanding how important it is.
And don't be so hard on yourself. Most teens have no experience of losing a loved one and it hits very hard to lose anyone. More so if you felt you could have done things differently.
In fact none of us understand death until it touches us. I was in a daze at my father's funeral - feeling relieved that my parents fighting was over.
But my husband's death was much worse. No one prepared me for how devastatingly sad i would feel.
You already understand more now than I did at 25. . And i hope things improve for you little by little.
You are growing in wisdom and insight and i predict your wisdom will be appreciated by more and more as you keep discovering more about life and people.
Just remember to always be very very kind to YOU at all times. The world needs wise kind souls like you.
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