A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone,im 17 and my bf is 22 we have been dating for six months now i really love him,we have talked about sex and i told him i wasn't ready,i believe in no sex before marriage and he said he will wait but everytime we are together he asks for sex.lm nt a virgin i was raped when i was 15 and i don't want to sex until marriage,the problem is he really love me or he just want to sex and dump me afterwards Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (10 December 2011):
 Hi,
I am sorry you had to go through such a horrific experience in such a young age. I hope you read all the answers given prior to mine carefully, very good advice and I hope it make sense.
You are a courageous person and I admire your decision. Just know that making love is beautiful when you do with the right person. It's a gift to us from God. It's beautiful, make you happy and it's a normal part of life.
I just want go bring this to your attention again, he says be will wait, but ask you everytime he's with you. He's not honest.. He doesn't respect you and he's not a caring, supportive guy. The man should never pressure or ask a woman for sex. It's a decision that both partners make it together. It should never be forced. it's something both feel, want and are willing to share. Should feel natural and enjoyable.
I hope this helps, and always be strong, and never do something you don't feel comfortable and stick with your decisions.
Good luck/best wishes
Happy holidays
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 December 2011):
 He wants you for sex. He said he would wait, but he isn't waiting. He is continuing to pressure you for sex and nagging you into having sex with him, despite you being very clear on this : no sex before marriage.
I don't know if he will dump you if you have sex with him, but I am thinking he might dump you if you do not have sex with him. Maybe you should dump him instead if he can not respect your decision. Do not give in to him, I think he just wants sex and he might not care much about you, but only about himself. Time will show his true nature.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (9 December 2011):
 You have explained your reasoning and your motivation. And your answer is "no". Now he needs to show some respect and some empathy. NO is not negotiable. It is just NO.
If he truly cares and loves you he will remain patient.
He needs to show some maturity. And not act petulantly and not persistently badger you to give in. Because if pushing for sex is his main focus, over his consideration for your feelings, then he is not ready for you, yet. And in your case you need additional consideration due to your past trauma. And your guy should understand this. If he does not yet understand this then tell me to up-skill his understanding and show you more consideration.
I do hope you received a lot of counselling and support following your earlier trauma? If you did I hope it helped. But it is never too late to check if some more support could be useful so I attach below four links
http://www.southafrica.info/services/crisishelp.htm
http://www.aswaterspassingby.org/sexualabuse.html
http://www.ibiblio.org/rcip/
http://www.rainn.org/
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 December 2011):
 If you told him you are not ready and he said he would wait but everytime you see him he asks for sex then he is NOT willing to wait and he is NOT respecting you.
It does NOT matter what he wants here... if he can't respect your wants, he's not the right boy for you.
Tell him if he does not stop asking you will have to stop seeing him and MEAN IT.
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