A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:There's this girl i have liked since last year. We just started back talking. My friend that I hoop with during gym likes her too. He does stuff like touch her boobs and play around. I'm not that kind of guy so me and her just talk and flirt.We text about every night.Whenever I ask her if she likes him she says no.Is she trying not to hurt me?I told her I already bought her Christmas present and she said that I'm a sweet guy.Should i be more physical or maintain my nice guy image?
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female
reader, synchrohobbit +, writes (6 December 2011):
 I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you might get placed in the "friend zone" without a minor amount of physicality. I am definitely not saying to grad her chest and stop being nice to her; I am saying that girls her age are not quite mature enough to pick out the nice guy. I don't think there is any way to know whether or not she is interested in this guy; if she is saying it "no" not to hurt you than that means she knows you are interested in her and might be waiting for you to do something more than text her at night. Since this is advice and not "oh, this is how the world SHOULD work" you need to be a little bit more aggressive but still in a respectful way.
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (6 December 2011):
 Hi
You are doing everything right. Your friend is wrong. He is being disrespectful and she may be embarassed by his inappropriate actions. Young teen girls learn over time and improve their confidence in themselves - such that they do realise that they do not have to put up with very 'handy' guys touching them.
If she says she does not like him, then believe her.
Keep being a nice guy. Don't discuss your present with the Octopus (many arms reaching out to touch)
Be respectful around her and continue to talk to her.
And leave Octopus out of the conversation. Concentrate on her and what she likes, her interests, places she likes to go and things she enjoys.
And do not share that intel with the Octopus. No need to give him the advantage of your research.
He is going about things the wrong way.
You are doing things the good way.
Make sure that you give her her Christmas present when there is not an audience of many others. Just quietly, you and her, if you can make that happen. I hope you have a great Christmas.
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