| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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I diverted my phone as I was upset at him but it resulted to more trouble
Q. I want to get this off my chest. Let's call him Robert. To make my story short, he was my friend online and he was in a relationship with a girl during that time. I really had no plans to meet him but he surprised me one day when he followed me t...
A. 20 October 2010: There are too many red flags. And now you've said that he quickly changed from one girl to another, then you, and also that he seems to have this thing about girls always saying yes, I'm just not sure you should be with him.
The biggest thing for ... (read in full...)
I am sick of running into guys that wants sex first and a relatonship later.
Q. Dear Cupid, I am 23 years old, College graduate, Full time job, own place.... and a virgin. Pround to be one. But at my age, a virgin is hard to come by. Throughout my life so far I had put finding a boyfriend on the back burner. I wanted to have...
A. 20 October 2010: You will find a guy like that. You've got to be prepared to work through guys who basically aren't like that. But like I said, if you're religious and such, then the Church might be a good option. ... (read in full...)
Wanted men's opinion... Is a silk or woollen scarf a good gift for men?
Q. Men... What do you think? Is a scarf especially a silk or a woollen scarf a good gift for a man?...
A. 18 October 2010: There you go. Good gift.... (read in full...)
Should I let my ex's girlfriend know he is cheating on her?
Q. I am on my second marriage. During my first marriage, my spouse and I each had affairs. Obviously we had a lot of issues and thats why we got divorced. I initiated the divorce and i got married to a friend of ours. I have been married again for 4 ...
A. 18 October 2010: No, not at all. It's bad for her that he's doing this, but it's an even worse sign that you're re-married and you're checking on your ex husband! You're not physically cheating, but what happens the day your husband walks in and sees you're checking ... (read in full...)
Cant believe he said this to me!
Q. Well we have been together 7 months and if im honest things have gone pretty slow and i feel sometimes like hes not after anything serious. I put a guard up and sometimes act like the tough girl who's not bothered but i do really care (i guess im ...
A. 17 October 2010: Yes, good point YouWish. OP - also tell him how you feel and why, and explain to him you'd prefer him not to say that again.... (read in full...)
Cant believe he said this to me!
Q. Well we have been together 7 months and if im honest things have gone pretty slow and i feel sometimes like hes not after anything serious. I put a guard up and sometimes act like the tough girl who's not bothered but i do really care (i guess im ...
A. 17 October 2010: You've read far too much into this. Far too much. In the middle of sex, he just said what he was thinking, which was you are amazing in bed, except he said it in a short, direct way. It definitely doesn't show he's just interested in sex. If he had ... (read in full...)
Why didn't boyfriend cum?
Q. I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time last night, and he didn't cum/finish. i was doing it for about 10-15 minutes and i didn't really feel like i was getting anywhere so i stopped. except i did a lot of like "research" online before we...
A. 17 October 2010: The one thing they don't tell you online is how difficult it is for a man to cum whilst having a blowjob. Sometimes we're nervous, sometimes we're not totally as sensitive as we should be there, sometimes we're over sensitive, sometimes we're tired, ... (read in full...)
Will he lose interest if I don't let him see me naked?
Q. This is really personal.. Ok, so im like really shy about my body. I'm pretty with a petite figure but when i take my clothes off i feel ugly. I feel like im driving my boyfriend crazy, i wont have sex and the lite nor n my life has anyone but my ...
A. 17 October 2010: I'd suggest you gently talk to him about your fears. If he';s a good guy, he won't notice anything that you think is a problem, because to him it won't be a problem. Also, if he's a good guy, there is no way he would cheat over this. You've probably ... (read in full...)
How can a real girl ever be enough for a man?
Q. How can a real girl ever be enough for a man? I mean, I have talked with many guys my age, and they have all agreed when I asked them whether a porn star has a hotter or better body than a normal girl, they have all said yes! The typical porn star ...
A. 17 October 2010: I think you're going to need to get yourself into counselling to work on your esteem. You're not finding the right answer on this site that you want, and we can only try to convince you so far. I think you're slipping away into depression, and that ... (read in full...)
Uni... or boyfriend?
Q. I have recently started at university which is about 1 hour 30 mins away from my boyfriend and were both finding it quite hard. He is now starting to question if he can handle a long distance relationship. I love him so much and im torn because i ...
A. 17 October 2010: University - period. Another guy will come along. Another shot at the life you want to live will not. ... (read in full...)
How do I hint to him about this party so that he'll come with me?
Q. Right, Well I am 24 years old and I like this guy at work.. he is fairly new.. took over my old job 2 months ago. Since he started we have spent lunch together 90% of the time.. we have a laugh together and there is good banter between us. I hope he ...
A. 17 October 2010: "There's this halloween party we're having, why don't you come along?"
That's pretty much the only way you can ask him. Guys don't really do 'hints'. ... (read in full...)
Wanted men's opinion... Is a silk or woollen scarf a good gift for men?
Q. Men... What do you think? Is a scarf especially a silk or a woollen scarf a good gift for a man?...
A. 17 October 2010: Depends on your boyfriend. If he's into fashion, or spends a lot of time outside, then it's a good gift. ... (read in full...)
How do I leave my husband?
Q. I want to leave my husband, we have been together 21 years, married for 5, we have 2 kids aged 16 and 13. I have nowhere to go and no money. Please help...
A. 17 October 2010: http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
This link will take you to Citizen's Advice, where you can make an appointment at your nearest office and talk about this for FREE. They can point you in the right direction about money, legal advice, housing ... (read in full...)
Would going as a white Blade be offensive?
Q. hi i know this isnt really a relationship question but i have gotten good advice from this site in the past and thought i would try it for this question. basically for halloween i want to dress up as Blade the vampire hunter, which in itself s...
A. 17 October 2010: Personally, I'd say go for it. But then I'm past all this racist stuff. A lot of other people aren't and there's bound to be one or two people who think you're a 'racist'. It's up to you, really. If you're up for taking a risk, I'd say go for it. I ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of me to get mad at this? Am I just a jealous freak?
Q. So I was in love with this guy... I hate using the word "in love" cuz I'm only 16 but I liked him more than any other guy in the world. We were absolutly perfect for each other. Then all of the sudden we stopped talking every day and things just ...
A. 17 October 2010: You have a right to be mad because your friend is seeing the guy you like even though she said she wouldn't. But at the same time, she came to you and was honest, and since you're not speaking to this other guy, you have no claim over him.
I thin... (read in full...)
What should I do if I'm falling for an unhappy married man that I truly care about?
Q. I live in LA. I met this guy that is married he says hes not happy. We met at a karaoke bar. he was really honest told me he was married with 3 kids two are adults one is 14. i am 24 and he is 35. he is a very nice respectful guy. we talk ...
A. 17 October 2010: You should be thinking of the worst here.
"She doesn't take care of herself, he's unhappy, she's a nag, they don't sleep in the same bed, he's not turned on by her, blah, blah, blah."
God almight, you are totally brainwashed! you have no proof of... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's 'friend' tried to talk her into cheating on me!
Q. My girlfriend got a booty call last night from one of her former f-buddies. I met her f-buddy at a party about two months ago. She said they were still friends but not sexually active so I didn't worry about it. But then yesterday he sent her a bo...
A. 17 October 2010: To be honest, I'd get rid of her for the reasons 123 posted below.... (read in full...)
He said I was "not the one" and then had sex with me anyway
Q. My boyfriend and i broke up . we had a nice dinner and he said i was not the "one" however he kept saying he loves me and wants to be my friend. when we left the restaurant we ended up having sex in the parking lot. he still kept saying how ...
A. 17 October 2010: It means to him you will always be the 'parking lot' girl, and the day the 'one' comes, you'll be swept aside. You need to let this one go, or you'll wind up totally alone. ... (read in full...)
In the navy I can sail the seven seas ....
Q. This is not a relationship question... But I need some advice. I'm 22 years old, not going to school, working but not somewhere I want to be long term. I'm seriously considering joining the navy. The only thing that's holding me back is fear of the ...
A. 17 October 2010: I attempted to get into the British Royal Navy when I was 18, rather unfortunately failing a medical for health reasons (and I always thought I was very healthy!).
The first thing you need to do is check out a careers orientation that the navy hold... (read in full...)
I don't want to have to accept this child
Q. I am a 26 year old female married for 4 years now to my husband. We have a 4 and 1/2 year old daughter as well as a 3 year old daughter. Yesterday, I found out that due to a one night stand with another woman, there is now a 5 yr old little girl ...
A. 17 October 2010: I'm afraid whatever you do, this is something you can't escape from. You'll have to rise above it one way other another, whether it takes counselling, time, etc. Its a shame, because you worked so hard to forgive your husband for arguably one huge ... (read in full...)
My partner wants to date her admirer!!!
Q. HI just want ask some advice what to do, my partner agreed that she going for a date with her admirer, but for the last few weeks she been open all about what they talk, where they been but just lately i heard her saying over the phone, you love ...
A. 17 October 2010: Dump her, now. She's cheating. She should not have been going on a date with an admirer. Period. Get rid of her, ... (read in full...)
I diverted my phone as I was upset at him but it resulted to more trouble
Q. I want to get this off my chest. Let's call him Robert. To make my story short, he was my friend online and he was in a relationship with a girl during that time. I really had no plans to meet him but he surprised me one day when he followed me t...
A. 17 October 2010: There is something very wrong with this guy, Very wrong, and I don't like it. Here's why.
- He had numerous girls on the go that he was meeting while he had a girlfriend. So he was basically cheating. That proves he is untrustworthy.
- He claim... (read in full...)
Text interpretation?
Q. I have a text question. So I met this guy last week and we fooled around. That was on a Saturday night. So I get this text Thursday night that says "Still wanna hang out. We need to mess around soon". My response was "OK sure." So then Friday ...
A. 17 October 2010: It was difficult because what you wrote, to a man, is a brush off. If a woman text me "already pretty drunk going home soon", I'd assume she didn't want to meet. If you'd texted "am going home, want to come with me", he'd have got it.
You just text... (read in full...)
Was my timing right asking her out?
Q. Am i "lovesick" Hi, back again to give you a follow up, interesting to find that i am still thinking of the old school friend i bumped into, she has certainly had an affect on me, why is it some people you give no farther thought to, she has been...
A. 17 October 2010: Well, as it is the signs are good. You're both single, so there's no problem there. And you asked her out, and she said yes, so there's something there.
I'd suggest that from now, you just take it slow. You've basically got to get to know each othe... (read in full...)
I don't want him to play me... I'd rather play on him!
Q. I met a guy about a month ago and we were hitting it off pretty well. We were spending every day together. He was sending me flowers, chocolate, took me on lots of dates and never failed to compliment me and tell me how special i was to him and how ...
A. 16 October 2010: I'm with the post below. I also don't like the idea of you wanting to 'play him'. Apart from it showing you up a bit, it also suggests you're a little naive. You can't 'play' a certified 'player'. Oh yes, you could try. But this guy will win you ... (read in full...)
Am I right to distance myself from cheating HIV+ Ex?
Q. My boyfriend of 5 years (3 great 2 up and down) is HIV+. I have know this from the start, and accepted it, and we have always practiced safe sex, which lead to there maybe not being as much passion in our sex lives, but I was ok with that and ...
A. 16 October 2010: You were right to do what you did and cut contact. This guy has had no real respect for you, was cheating and lied, and was having sex with other men knowing he had HIV and could have spread it.
Stick to your guns. You've done the right thing. You ... (read in full...)
Conference Call During Dinner Date Bad, or Wife Overreacting?
Q. What's the word out there on a husband who suggests an early dinner to his wife. ; she says she's not very hungry but will keep him company and enjoy a glass of wine. Food is ordered and husband announces he is expecting a phone call. Turns ou...
A. 16 October 2010: Wife sounds like my girlfriend and her ex husband.
He put work first, took conference calls at inappropriate times, was always late, never supported her and such. Finally, my girlfriend found it too much to bear and divorced him, finding me inst... (read in full...)
Am I right to feel insulted by work guy's friendship snub with me to new woman at work?
Q. Hello. There's this guy i work with that i'm really good friends with (or so i thought). We often catch up at lunch or grab a quick coffee during the week a couple of times. This new woman started last month, and she often confides in me. She tells ...
A. 16 October 2010: To be honest, I think this is an attempt by him to get her into bed. I think he fancies her and is playing the 'old soldier' act on her. It's all such a fix - the 'loneliness', the 'lack of friends', and 'major problems'.
I don't think it's real... (read in full...)
I am sick of running into guys that wants sex first and a relatonship later.
Q. Dear Cupid, I am 23 years old, College graduate, Full time job, own place.... and a virgin. Pround to be one. But at my age, a virgin is hard to come by. Throughout my life so far I had put finding a boyfriend on the back burner. I wanted to have...
A. 16 October 2010: If you're religious, I'd suggest you try a Church, where you can meet people who'd believe the same things as you. But don't just discount guys who have had sex before. We're not all bad!... (read in full...)
Ex is going out with a girl who looks like me and has my same name?
Q. i'm just wondering is it a little weird that my ex boyfriend is going out with a girl with the same first name as me and also kinda looks like me ...
A. 16 October 2010: People often go for the same looks, features, names etc. Inside three years I once fancied three girls named Becky, who were all the same looking. It was basically because I just liked them. I would be careful that you dont' read too much into it. ... (read in full...)
He hits me saying its the only way I'll shut up
Q. Hi i just would like some advice from someone i have been with my partner for 4years and we have child that is 5months but he is really horrible sometimes and hits me he say it is the only way i will shut up and i feel like i deserved it i want to ...
A. 16 October 2010: For God's sake get away from him. Do you want your baby to grow up with a dead mother? Do you want your baby to grow up violent like him? Do you want your baby to be hit? That's where this is going. Worse, you may lose your baby to social services ... (read in full...)
Wife wasn't happy about my marriage proposal, what can I do about it now?
Q. Hi there This is a question for men and women! I'm looking forward to get answers from both, male and female! I proposed my now-wife 1 1/2 years ago. She said yes, but was very disappointed by the way I asked. So I asked her a second time beca...
A. 16 October 2010: She even protested the second time during the middle of it! I admire you for even bothering.
Next time she says it, ask her why she bothered saying yes. It'll lead to an argument, but this is pretty low. Most women wait for the day a guy just mutt... (read in full...)
He took my virginity and now I don't know how to handle the relationship!
Q. I was always desperate for love and to be loved. I met a guy at work and at first he wasn't my type and way too old (Im 24 he's 38), my family woudln't accept him. So I eventually (being nice) got to know him and started to develop feelings for him. ...
A. 16 October 2010: Whoever suggested that violence was needed needs professional help. ... (read in full...)
Is he just messing about?
Q. there is this boy i like but he flirts with me and calles me babe online and he tryed to hold me hand in school but i dont know if he fancees me or is just messing .....help...
A. 16 October 2010: I think he fancies you. Talk to him.... (read in full...)
I was married and dating a younger guy of 20
Q. Hello, I dated a guy who is 15 years younger then me. I was his very first true love (as he said). We started dating when he was 20. The relationship was wonderful as i feel myself young again and wanted him so much. I had a strong sexual at...
A. 16 October 2010: My girlfriend is actually quite a bit older than me, so I think I can help you.
I think, basically, there are a few options and none of them are good.
The first option is that he saw you the first time and was just terrified and can't do it again... (read in full...)
I ruined it with my girlfriend's father!
Q. Well, I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years now, I know we are sort of young...im 18 shes 17. The point is that I had a great relationship with her father, which was very important to me and very important in keeping the LDR alive. Last summer ...
A. 16 October 2010: He did overreact slightly, but at the same time has pointed out a huge problem.
Your sister.
I don't have a daughter, but I do have a sister. If her boyfriend came to the house with his sister once, I'd accept it. But if he did it again unannoun... (read in full...)
He wants to be 'just friends' but it's not enough for me
Q. After 2 years my lover just wants to be friends and im heartbroken.We did have a few fall outs and we always made up but he has had alot on his plate for the last couple of weeks and being stressed out.He said he still loved me but i cant see why he ...
A. 16 October 2010: He was a lover, never anything else. There has been no commitment, no talk of commitment, and I think basically for two years he's been having his way. If you felt this way, the issue should have been sorted 18 months ago. As it is, there is now no ... (read in full...)
So he tells me he loves me but he has a girlfriend
Q. i now this boy his name is Alex he says he loves me but only by texting me and telling me but not face to face.so anyway i am in love with him ill do whatever to go out with him.so he tells me he loves me but he already has a girl friend one time i ...
A. 16 October 2010: You must never take the word of a man who is already a relationship. Because he's basically a liar and cheat. He has a girlfriend, and is already breaking hearts. So back away and let him live his own life. Don't have a thing to do with him, unless ... (read in full...)
I want to get away from my parents
Q. Ok, so I'm feeling a bit odd asking about personal stuff online (which I've never really done before) but it seems like in this situation, a stranger could probably give me better advice than my friends or family. So anyways, here's my proble...
A. 16 October 2010: Go to university, enjoy the rest of your life. Is there a university where your sister lives at all? I think you need to get away from your parents, who do seem quite bad to be honest.... (read in full...)
I say g/f is hot, friends think she's not
Q. I love my Girlfriend but my friends say she's ugly. I think she's hot. How do I get my "friends" to stop?...
A. 16 October 2010: Tell your friends to 'sod off'. My bet is there's jealously here. ... (read in full...)
What do men consider to be a controlling girlfriend?
Q. Is it normal for someone's boyfriend to go to the gym with his coworkers who are female (like 1 guy and 3 females?) I don't feel very happy about it, mostly because he is physically attracted (in his words, if he was single, he would like to date ...
A. 16 October 2010: You're in the right.
I refer you to his own words - "If he was single, he'd date one of the girls, but you don't have to worry because he has no chance with her anyway"
Translated from man talk into literal English, this mean "I don't stand a ... (read in full...)
He has to get married soon but I'm not sure that I want to!
Q. Hi , I met a guy after i went through divorce and was very alone and insecure(2 year back). He had been in similar condition too. i feel in love with him. My conditions improved with time. He proposed me for marriage but since he proposed i am fe...
A. 16 October 2010: Don't marry him. Marriage is a huge commitment, and must be based on a strong relationship where the only doubt is whether the bride will be on time or not.
You are just not ready to get married again, and you know it. For him to be trying to forc... (read in full...)
I feel I should help my family without a price tag attached!
Q. The other day my aunt, who is more like my mom, asked my husband and I to help her move with his truck. My husband is telling me to ask "Donna" for gas money because shes using his truck to move. he feels its common courtesy; however, I feel that I ...
A. 16 October 2010: Tell your husband to ask himself if he's so bothered about it. He's out of order, so let's see if he has the guts to do it himself. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend went for drinks with best friend
Q. dear cupid I am dating this guy, we have been going out for a bout 2 months,and he gets along really well with my best friend. But at this time we are having a few problems and we haven't been speaking. But he decided one night to go out for drink...
A. 16 October 2010: This is now a warning. Get onto him, get speaking, get solving these problems. There could be nothing in this at all. But if you've got problems and you're not talking, naturally he's going to start going out. At two months, you should not be having ... (read in full...)
How can a real girl ever be enough for a man?
Q. How can a real girl ever be enough for a man? I mean, I have talked with many guys my age, and they have all agreed when I asked them whether a porn star has a hotter or better body than a normal girl, they have all said yes! The typical porn star ...
A. 13 October 2010: I would strongly suggest that you carefully look at the guys you're attracted to, and the guys you hang around with. To have a boyfriend actually say to you that a porn star has a better body than you shows you picked the wrong guy that time. You ... (read in full...)
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