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| | *irstlovelastlove's profile:I have lived to see and experience a lot in my brief 47 years. Some days I feel 16 and some days I feel 160. Currently, I call Canada home but have lived most my life in the U.S. I am fully committed to my soul mate and moved more than 1,000 miles to be with her. The meaning of life is to love and be loved, unconditionally. Communication and sexual chemistry are the bedrock of a lasting relationship. I am a full time student of the love of my life and being with her gives the hell I've been delivered from meaning. I am not a religious man I'm a musician. But I do know God is God and through her He changed my heart and my mind and life truly is amazing. Early 2010 we both nearly lost our lives in a horrific car accident. To be alive truly is amazing and this is 'one of our songs'.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGCLubIDPfE
Kim Mitchell -- Aint Life Amazing
I believe in God, pray often and know one day I will be judged by Him and Him alone. If I can help someone I do and if I can't, I know someone else will be put in their path who can. |
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Do I hang around waiting on her???
Q. I've been in love with this girl i've known for about 5 years. For the past 5 years she has had a boyfriend. She has now been single for 4 months, and 2 months ago she asked me out. We've been dating now 2 months. Nothing has happened. And so i ...
A. 2 March 2011: I'm just one man but I say continue spending time with her and one day when she's ready she will tell you. It'll probably be spontaneous and you won't see it comin'. In the meantime, keep things light. If you're not able to do this, please be up ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to help my daughter let go of the past.
Q. I don't know how to help my daughter let go of the past. He left my daughter and my grandbaby and went back to his ex. Then he started calling her saying he wanted her back while he was still living with his ex. Everyone told my daughter not to go ...
A. 2 March 2011: How old is your daughter? Has she had other boyfriends? Does she go places where she can meet new people?... (read in full...)
Love my girlfriend so why do I keep having crushes on others?
Q. I have a girlfriend, we had been quite steady together, I really love her a lot. However, I tend to have a lot of random crushes on other girls and really would like to be with them them. Please give me some advice on this!!! I need to get it out of ...
A. 2 March 2011: What is your idea of a "crush"?... (read in full...)
Should we keep seeing the therapist?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and recently began having some serious problems in our relationship. We began seeing a couple's therapist two weeks ago. My problem is our therapist. Not only did she tell me that it's my fault ...
A. 2 March 2011: "Because these therapists trade notes, stories, whatever, my boyfriend and I decided that we would only see one, and if that didn't work out, we would just stop therapy." Is there any way you could go to a different town to see a different ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my wife? I'm more comfortable with my girlfriend!
Q. I have a rather lengthy question I will try to keep short.. I have been married for 4 years and I have began having an affair with a girl 17 years my jr.. My wife is 10 years my jr.. I feel like I really love this other woman.. I have been open...
A. 1 March 2011: Are you looking for us to tell you it's ok to do the wrong thing?... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a man gives you a drawer?
Q. I have a man I'm seeing long distance. We started this relationship in early November We are two hours apart... we email and talk on the phone a few times a week... I go to visit him since he cannot be around my dogs. I have been up to see h...
A. 1 March 2011: 'Aint Love Grand!'... (read in full...)
Discovered that my husband was cheating. Do I stay or go?
Q. Hello, looking for some advice, i have been with my husband for 9 years, married for 4, we have a 2 year old son together and i have 2 children from a previous marriage. I recently found out via a man coming to my door that my husband had been...
A. 1 March 2011: "i was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months before their affair started, from what i can tell he did not mention this to her until" He did what he did knowing you have just been diagnosed with breast cancer? I lived in the desert for close to ... (read in full...)
I am getting tired of this hot and cold situation!
Q. My SO and I have been together for almost 3 years. When we saw each other in December, he was going to propose but we had some issues and ended up fighting most of the time. In other words, he didn't propose and said I was holding back from him ...
A. 1 March 2011: "he is 37. i didn't cheat on him nor did i physically hurt him. I have never treated him badly and I have always been true to him." Wow, I am thinking he may be emotionally immature. "because he also didn't get to propose in December like he wante... (read in full...)
Am I just his second choice?
Q. I reconnected with an old boyfriend I dated 25 years ago. When we reconnected at the time, he was dating someone from another country. He ended it when we started dating. We have been living together for 6 months now and I have been raising his 3 ...
A. 1 March 2011: "I have been on my own for 15 years for I was in a really bad abusive marriage. He has been the only once since I have taken a chance on" I understand. I was divorced in 1995 and 2010 I became engaged. In between I wasn't engaged or married. ... (read in full...)
I am getting tired of this hot and cold situation!
Q. My SO and I have been together for almost 3 years. When we saw each other in December, he was going to propose but we had some issues and ended up fighting most of the time. In other words, he didn't propose and said I was holding back from him ...
A. 1 March 2011: "I'm like ok, fair enough. I'm sorry, Can we forgive each other and move on now?" How old is he? Did you cheat or physically hurt him? I can't think of anything else the two of you shouldn't be able to "move on" from. "I have invested a lot emot... (read in full...)
I checked my boyfriend's phone and now he is furious!
Q. Hi everyone. Me and my bf have been going through a tough time lately, my behaviour has not been great and I have been suffering from anxiety and depression which I am trying to deal with by going to therapy. Anyway, last Friday I did something ...
A. 1 March 2011: "had sent him a text at 4am last year." "I asked him about this and why she had text him, and he said ‘probably to see how I was.’ I don’t think he cheated on me because when I asked him if anything had happened between them he said ‘I cant believe ... (read in full...)
Am I just his second choice?
Q. I reconnected with an old boyfriend I dated 25 years ago. When we reconnected at the time, he was dating someone from another country. He ended it when we started dating. We have been living together for 6 months now and I have been raising his 3 ...
A. 1 March 2011: "He has been replying and sometimes, he tells her he loves her and always will, he misses her etc." I don't know what this guy is thinking by doing this. If he's doing this out of guilt he should stop. Again, I don't know why he's doing this. How ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a man gives you a drawer?
Q. I have a man I'm seeing long distance. We started this relationship in early November We are two hours apart... we email and talk on the phone a few times a week... I go to visit him since he cannot be around my dogs. I have been up to see h...
A. 1 March 2011: He's downplaying it because he doesn't want to put pressure on himself. Like CindyCares says, I really don't think he's given any other woman a drawer.... (read in full...)
I missed his call!! Do I call him back, now?
Q. Hi All, Please help!! I told my ex I loved him a week or so back by text, as I do and I miss him terribly!! Anyway, I felt a bit emabarrsed after I had said it by text, so I sent another one saying ' Sorry about the mad texts, I was feeling a bit ...
A. 1 March 2011: "he did not leave it with any arrangment, or whatever," He was on vacation and relaxing. It'd been a while since you called back. He was probably just seeing how this conversation went.
"am I expecting to much?" To expect a date from this tele... (read in full...)
We broke up over his emotional affair but I'm having a change of heart
Q. I can't get over my finace. I found out he was having emotional affair on Facebookand instead of talking he called our engavement off and wouldn't admit to this. ( I gave him space to think and told him if we were no longer together (2.5 years) then ...
A. 1 March 2011: "Do I say thank you for the cheque and walk away." I wouldn't.
"Or say when you get help and if you would like to talk, you know where I am. Also let him know that I am sorry but I just couldn't have $23,000 sitting over my head wondering if he woul... (read in full...)
How do I ask this girl to kiss me?
Q. Hey guys, I really wanna kiss this girl who i like and I am pretty sure she likes me but I don't know how to ask her to kiss me. Has anyone got any good ideas?...
A. 1 March 2011: If her birthday's coming up you could give her a nice card and after she's read it you should just kiss her. If she kisses back then keep kissing her. If she doesn't have a birthday coming up, give her a card anyway that and write something nice ... (read in full...)
Why did this happen? Is he not interested in sex with me anymore?
Q. I was having sex with my bf of a year the other day. I was on top and he went a bit floppy, enough for it to keep falling out/being hard to get back in (sorry to be graphic). After about 5 mins he ended up finishing. Im just wondering if anyone h...
A. 1 March 2011: Since you two have been together for a year and it sounds like this is the first time it's happened I would say he either had a lot on his mind and something was bothering him a lot; or he should see a doctor. Either way, it is not you.... (read in full...)
Discovered that my husband was cheating. Do I stay or go?
Q. Hello, looking for some advice, i have been with my husband for 9 years, married for 4, we have a 2 year old son together and i have 2 children from a previous marriage. I recently found out via a man coming to my door that my husband had been...
A. 1 March 2011: "havent a clue why my age has been published as 22, i am 39" And here I thought I was just very bad at math. Thanks for this update!... (read in full...)
Discovered that my husband was cheating. Do I stay or go?
Q. Hello, looking for some advice, i have been with my husband for 9 years, married for 4, we have a 2 year old son together and i have 2 children from a previous marriage. I recently found out via a man coming to my door that my husband had been...
A. 1 March 2011: "Im scared shitless that he is going to go back to her." Leave. Over time this fear may or may not leave you entirely but it will get less. I'm thinking about your general attitude toward men. "I know men lie to get in womens pants" Not all men ... (read in full...)
Problems with my step-children; am I in the wrong here?
Q. My step kids are 37 -34 one is a female and one is a male The daughter was marred and has a child she is now divorce. And the son was marred and divorce and now re marred and expending there first child ... I have three girls 37-34-30 They all...
A. 1 March 2011: Hold your ground. You are not wrong. And it's real good you have a sense of humor about all these people around you. I wish you all the best! Stand your ground.... (read in full...)
We broke up over his emotional affair but I'm having a change of heart
Q. I can't get over my finace. I found out he was having emotional affair on Facebookand instead of talking he called our engavement off and wouldn't admit to this. ( I gave him space to think and told him if we were no longer together (2.5 years) then ...
A. 28 February 2011: Two and a half years and you two were engaged? Maybe I'm old fashioned but I would not send an email. For something like this, especially something like this, I would show up at his door unannounced and have a heart to heart. I wish you well.... (read in full...)
When I asked my boyfriend to set up some healthy boundaries with his children, he broke up with me! Help!
Q. I have been in relationship for 5 years. It was great for 3 years until his children ages 16 and 20 started to cross boundaries when he and I were together. I asked him on several occasions to set up some healthy boundaries to not have them wake us ...
A. 28 February 2011: "He has a very hard time saying "No" to anything they do." This is not good at all. I lived with a woman with her 2 children for 4 years. In the end I was just a 'cash dispenser'. "did not know by asking to not be woken up and interrupted that I w... (read in full...)
My partner doesn't pay bills, or clean up messes, and she's taken money from my account without permission. What should I do?
Q. I am 36 years old and I have a wonderful two year old daughter. I own my home, and my daughter’s mom lives with me. This is where the problem comes in. She is going to school full time and out of the three years we have been living together...
A. 28 February 2011: If you want the mother of your child to continue living at your house I would put everything under 'lock and key'. Buy a lock box or a small fireproof safe and put all your credit/debit cards and important documents in this and keep it locked. I ... (read in full...)
Why am I not married yet?
Q. While I wait and hoping to marry someday, as to I'm in my mid 30's, seems have decline. Next thing I knew, everyone asked, why am I not married?? I want to tell them, I'm ugly, miserable bitch that nobody want. All I could said, I don't have the ...
A. 28 February 2011: "I want to tell them, I'm ugly, miserable bitch that nobody want." Do you feel this way about yourself? Because if you do, people around you may pick up on you feeling this way about yourself and you will attract the 'wrong' kind of men. "I was comp... (read in full...)
How do we draw a line under this?
Q. I found out my fiancé had been going to massage parlours for massages and 'hand relief'. This is what he told me at first. I found out as he hadn't deleted messages from his sent box, arranging time and what address he had to go to and what he ...
A. 28 February 2011: "my fiancé had been going to massage parlours for massages and 'hand relief'." This is bad. "I found out" this is good. "a few days after I walked out admitted to having sex, a few days later admitted to kissing them but keeps saying he didn't g... (read in full...)
Am I addicted to smoking after two puffs on a cigarette?
Q. Hey, On saturday, i went to a party with all my mates, there was one girl who was smoking and made me take a puff, i ended up taking two puffs. All today i have been craving a fag and i was going to steal one from my sister. Am i addicted now...
A. 28 February 2011: I don't think you are addicted to cigarettes after two puffs. When you inhaled the smoke from the cigarette, did you feel it go down your throat and into your lungs or did you just let the smoke swirl around in your mouth and then exhale it? ... (read in full...)
He's so mysterious, is that bad? How can I get him to open up more?
Q. Thanks for reading. There's a guy who's been really patient with me and persistent to know me and I've become interested in him. Here's the snag, he's a bit mysterious and doesn't talk much about himself. I really have to think of things to ask hi...
A. 28 February 2011: "lives 2 hrs away. Honestly, a bit of distance is probably good for me." It might be fun to meet in person in 'neutral territory'. Maybe an hour away from both of your homes? "he calls often . . . finds me attractive . . . tutors me with science"... (read in full...)
My girlfriend helps when things are rough financially, why cant I count on my wife?
Q. I am a very frustrated husband. I may be the big reason for all of my problems because I am married and have a girlfriend that my wife does not know that I am still seeing. I met my girlfriend while driving over the road as a truck driver and she ...
A. 28 February 2011: Wow, what a story. Why are you doing this to these two women? I think your wife knows about your girlfriend and this is why she's not helping, i.e. paying the water bill. "In 2005, my wife without talking to me went out and purchased a mini van." ... (read in full...)
Male input please!
Q. Having read so many posts from blokes complaining about their girlfriends, wives etc never initiating sexual acts (be it oral, full intercourse or whatever) I realized I'm one of these women. I read one post that struck a chord - my boyfriend ini...
A. 28 February 2011: "if I love the way him initiating sex makes me feel... then surely me initiating sex would give him a similar feeling." Yes, it sure would.
"I guess I just worry about being to forward." It's not being too forward. "like all things in a rela... (read in full...)
I love her but her last lie may cost me my life. What should I do?
Q. Hello everyone, This is my first time writing, I'd really like some good advice with the situation I am in involving myself and my ex girlfriend/girlfriend - this I will explain below. There is so much to consider it will be difficult for me to ex...
A. 28 February 2011: "When she was with the guy in South America we were still broken up. I'm not sure if I made that clear." Sadly, the status of your relationship has no bearing on the outcome of the test. Please get tested now. I'm not sure if I made that clear and ... (read in full...)
I love her but her last lie may cost me my life. What should I do?
Q. Hello everyone, This is my first time writing, I'd really like some good advice with the situation I am in involving myself and my ex girlfriend/girlfriend - this I will explain below. There is so much to consider it will be difficult for me to ex...
A. 28 February 2011: When your mother said to you "for the first time ever...said that maybe it is time for me to move on because this lie is inexcusable to anyone let alone someone you supposedly love deeply." Keeping in mind I am a stranger, I think your mother truly ... (read in full...)
My husband works alone at night, and someone caught him masturbating. Please help me understand why he did this!
Q. Well,the last time I told all about my husband playing with himself at work and losing his job. He worked at night by himself, but someone caught him and he has done this before. Just never got caught. I asked him time after time and he is ...
A. 28 February 2011: I know you probably don't want to hear this but maybe this will help. It is very hard, if not impossible, for a mentally healthy person to understand the actions of a mentally unhealthy person -- sexual behaviors in public included.
As hard as it i... (read in full...)
He's so mysterious, is that bad? How can I get him to open up more?
Q. Thanks for reading. There's a guy who's been really patient with me and persistent to know me and I've become interested in him. Here's the snag, he's a bit mysterious and doesn't talk much about himself. I really have to think of things to ask hi...
A. 28 February 2011: I believe you have answered your question. "We haven't met in person yet"
I am extremely shy. He may be waiting for you to "set up one officially". If the love of my life had not persisted and taken the initiative I would have completely miss... (read in full...)
I'm a good person in everyones eyes except my mothers
Q. My relationship with my mother was never good and it is even getting worse as we both get older, despite my frequent attempts to improve our relationship from my side. I am very obedient. I always did what she wants me to do hoping this way she ...
A. 28 February 2011: I know someone who has a mother a lot like yours. From what you've written here I am sure you are in pain. I suggest you 'Google' codependency. http://www.capefearhealthyminds.org/library.cgi?article=1118181493 "I am very obedient. I always did wha... (read in full...)
What do married men think of women who are friends with his wife, but flirts with him?
Q. What does a married man really think of a woman that flirts with him? What does he think of her character as a person? Does he really think he can trust someone like that? Especially if he sees that she is friendly with his wife? ...
A. 28 February 2011: "What does a married man really think of a woman that flirts with him?" I am engaged but my fiance and I decided I should wear a wedding ring because I used to travel a lot.
"What does he think of her character as a person?" When women flirt with... (read in full...)
I love her but her last lie may cost me my life. What should I do?
Q. Hello everyone, This is my first time writing, I'd really like some good advice with the situation I am in involving myself and my ex girlfriend/girlfriend - this I will explain below. There is so much to consider it will be difficult for me to ex...
A. 28 February 2011: "She lies even though she doesn't have to." It has been my experience that people who lie when they don't have to lie because they can't help themselves and this will not change. Is this something you are willing to accept? "I usually give into her... (read in full...)
Why would a girl whom I had eye contact and exchanged smiles with rub it in my face that she has a boyfriend?
Q. So there's this girl I met on occasion who exchanged regular eye contact and smiles with me. Obviously, she must have realized that I was into her, lest she would have looked away, as most of the time, girls who aren't into you usually do. So I d...
A. 28 February 2011: I think JDinCali hit the proverbial 'nail on the head' when she said: "Don't change to suit her needs. She won't respect you for it and she'll have way too much power over you and you don't want to be her bell boy."... (read in full...)
Riddled with guilt, what do I do?
Q. I am a 35 year old woman married for 3 years now. I had a lapse of judgement a few months ago and had an affair with a man in the town that I live in. I saw this man for three months and we were very sexually active. I broke it off after I thought ...
A. 28 February 2011: I think you should confess some of this to your husband. If I was him I would want to know but I would not want to know 'all the gory details'. I would leave out the "we were very sexually active" wording. Do you feel unfulfilled sexually in your ... (read in full...)
I don't know if this is what I want anymore..
Q. I have just split up with my partner of 16 yrs. He loves me totally, but I am so confused. Things haven't been right for a while and I don't know if I am still in love with him or not...I am in my 30's and he was my 1st love, but lately I have been ...
A. 28 February 2011: what "Things haven't been right for a while"? And how long is "a while"? Is there someone specific you are "wondering what it would be like to be with"? I know it sounds corny but 'life is a journey' and while this man was your "1st love" is the man ... (read in full...)
He says "I increase the value of his life?" What does that mean?
Q. A man i have been seeing Since Nov told me I was a valued friend and he told me I increase the Value of his life. Does that mean he loves me or likes me as a really good friend? We are not exculsive and I know he sees another girl. He does no...
A. 28 February 2011: "told me I was a valued friend and he told me I increase the Value of his life" Did he actually say these words to you? Who talks this way? Is English not his first language? I have no idea what he means by this so I would ask him directly 'what ... (read in full...)
Male input please!
Q. Having read so many posts from blokes complaining about their girlfriends, wives etc never initiating sexual acts (be it oral, full intercourse or whatever) I realized I'm one of these women. I read one post that struck a chord - my boyfriend ini...
A. 27 February 2011: "my boyfriend initiating sex makes me feel desirable and wanted so why shouldn't that work both ways" Just to be clear -- do you desire and want your boyfriend? "At least for me I can pinpoint two main fears. Being rejected and being seen as mascu... (read in full...)
Why would a girl whom I had eye contact and exchanged smiles with rub it in my face that she has a boyfriend?
Q. So there's this girl I met on occasion who exchanged regular eye contact and smiles with me. Obviously, she must have realized that I was into her, lest she would have looked away, as most of the time, girls who aren't into you usually do. So I d...
A. 26 February 2011: Definitely an attention seeker. She's not much of a 'catch' for her "boyfriend" is she? Ignoring her is a nice thing to do.... (read in full...)
I missed his call!! Do I call him back, now?
Q. Hi All, Please help!! I told my ex I loved him a week or so back by text, as I do and I miss him terribly!! Anyway, I felt a bit emabarrsed after I had said it by text, so I sent another one saying ' Sorry about the mad texts, I was feeling a bit ...
A. 23 February 2011: You sure do think a lot. "Somehow and stupidly, I need to know what;s going on in his life!!" I don't think it's stupid and I don't think you 'need to know' I think you're just curious. How much history do the two of you share? Are there children... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a man gives you a drawer?
Q. I have a man I'm seeing long distance. We started this relationship in early November We are two hours apart... we email and talk on the phone a few times a week... I go to visit him since he cannot be around my dogs. I have been up to see h...
A. 22 February 2011: "I have 3 a lab, a pit bull and a giant long coated dog" "he cannot be around my dogs" This is really making me smile. Maybe sometime in the future you'd consider kenneling your dogs for a few days. For me what started out as 'wow, this is really ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a man gives you a drawer?
Q. I have a man I'm seeing long distance. We started this relationship in early November We are two hours apart... we email and talk on the phone a few times a week... I go to visit him since he cannot be around my dogs. I have been up to see h...
A. 22 February 2011: "he cannot be around my dogs" what kind of dogs do you have?
"it was our first full weekend together" Terrific.
"He turned to me and said 'we are both old enough to know what it means that you have a drawer at my place' I don't want to be presumpt... (read in full...)
I missed his call!! Do I call him back, now?
Q. Hi All, Please help!! I told my ex I loved him a week or so back by text, as I do and I miss him terribly!! Anyway, I felt a bit emabarrsed after I had said it by text, so I sent another one saying ' Sorry about the mad texts, I was feeling a bit ...
A. 22 February 2011: "I'm actually starting to feel.... different, peaceful" Grab hold of this "peace" with both hands and don't let go. I'm happy for you!... (read in full...)
I missed his call!! Do I call him back, now?
Q. Hi All, Please help!! I told my ex I loved him a week or so back by text, as I do and I miss him terribly!! Anyway, I felt a bit emabarrsed after I had said it by text, so I sent another one saying ' Sorry about the mad texts, I was feeling a bit ...
A. 21 February 2011: "what's 'tag your it' by the way?" Wow, ok, there's this child's game called "tag". I thought it was a universal game but apparently I'm wrong. Here's how it goes: A little boy goes up to another little boy and touches him on the arm or back, ... (read in full...)
I missed his call!! Do I call him back, now?
Q. Hi All, Please help!! I told my ex I loved him a week or so back by text, as I do and I miss him terribly!! Anyway, I felt a bit emabarrsed after I had said it by text, so I sent another one saying ' Sorry about the mad texts, I was feeling a bit ...
A. 21 February 2011: What does this mean? "Sorry about the mad texts, I was feeling a bit emotional" I've lived all my adult life in the U.S. To me "mad" means angry. If I called someone and didn't speak to them it's "tag, you're it". Then if I got an email from ... (read in full...)
I missed his call!! Do I call him back, now?
Q. Hi All, Please help!! I told my ex I loved him a week or so back by text, as I do and I miss him terribly!! Anyway, I felt a bit emabarrsed after I had said it by text, so I sent another one saying ' Sorry about the mad texts, I was feeling a bit ...
A. 20 February 2011: Take a deep breath and call him. I can't speak for your ex but I think most men would agree the fewer words the better. Maybe say something like "It has been crazy busy for me. When can we sit down and talk?" And just wait for his answer. I wish ... (read in full...)
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