Opened up to him about my vulnerabilities about having sex and now he says he might leave me!
Q. Hi! I have been here before but it was now some time ago. I met a very nice man about 2 years ago and things went fine for quite some time but then I started not wanting to have sex, even feeling very bad about having it. This had happened in ...
A. 19 October 2015: Thank you for your feedback, Honeypie. I understand you probably wrote it before my update was posted, where I clarify a bit about going to therapy for example. I go to therapy already, which is what made me able to at all talk about it. But ... (read in full...)
Opened up to him about my vulnerabilities about having sex and now he says he might leave me!
Q. Hi! I have been here before but it was now some time ago. I met a very nice man about 2 years ago and things went fine for quite some time but then I started not wanting to have sex, even feeling very bad about having it. This had happened in ...
A. 19 October 2015: Thank you for your feedbacks. We do have sex, what happens is that he of course notices that I don't feel very good about it anymore. I do go to therapy since some time which is the reason I could even detect what was happening, before I just th... (read in full...)
I'm afraid that if I leave him he will hurt me or come looking for me!
Q. Need advice .... Been with this dude for 6 years and is has been HELL ... The reason I'm still in this situation is because he's abusive physically mentally and verbally and I have been scared for my life cause he threatens to kill himself and ...
A. 28 June 2013: Go now to the domestic violence center, some good person put the number for you further down here.
I guess you have not many friends you can trust in where you are now but in the center there will be professionals who know exactly what to do. T... (read in full...)
My friend assaulted me, should I report it to the police?
Q. Hi guys. Not a relationship question, but I could really do with some advice here! Last week a friend bit me. Hard. It was completely unprovoked, and I don't know if he just thought he was being funny or what. We were sitting on the couch, just ...
A. 28 June 2013: Pictures are not everything. Also your witness tale is of importance. It is not likely you would hurt yourself like that just to frame him for no obvious reason. And even if he would get away this time by lying or just by lack of enough evidence, ... (read in full...)
My cheating ex is making me feel bad because I had a one night stand after we broke up. Am I in the wrong?
Q. Me and my boyfriend broke up around about 3 weeks ago due to him cheating on me. He's cheated on me multiple times, and now I've had enough, we broke up and ended and the break up has been challenging to say the least. ...
A. 27 June 2013: I don't like how this guy sound at all. This is not ok and might be a very dangerous situation for you. Just throw his stuff away and do not under any circumstances go meet him. Not ever again!
And tell your parents and/or another adult in your scho... (read in full...)
My cheating ex is making me feel bad because I had a one night stand after we broke up. Am I in the wrong?
Q. Me and my boyfriend broke up around about 3 weeks ago due to him cheating on me. He's cheated on me multiple times, and now I've had enough, we broke up and ended and the break up has been challenging to say the least. ...
A. 26 June 2013: Well, it is not up to him to decide who you should or should not sleep with, it is your decision to make. And no, you are not a whore for having had a ONS. But, it is probably not good for you to contnue doing that. I know you like him but really, ... (read in full...)
My friend assaulted me, should I report it to the police?
Q. Hi guys. Not a relationship question, but I could really do with some advice here! Last week a friend bit me. Hard. It was completely unprovoked, and I don't know if he just thought he was being funny or what. We were sitting on the couch, just ...
A. 26 June 2013: Report it. It seems like that is what you want and need here. The questions you got from the police make me furious too, but don't let it stop you, just calmly answer no and ask a question back: so what if he has a crush, how does it make this less ... (read in full...)
I am addicted to chasing men and I don't know how to stop
Q. Hi there. I am a woman in her early thirties, and I think I have an addiction to chasing men. I know that many people will read this and want to give me the advice "just stop" but if it was that easy I would have done it a long time ago. I real...
A. 26 June 2013: You have just come out of an abusive relationship. Abusive relationships do things to you, it makes you feel low, worthless and unattractive. The attention from other men makes you realize you are not an unattractive person who doesn't deserve ... (read in full...)
My friend is jealous of my pregnancy. This is the 2nd time its happened. How should I approach this?
Q. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, It was planned and am very happy. The problem is my "friend". I had my first child in 2011 and when I told her (call her sue) she stopped talking to me. She was jealous as she had been trying with her partner since they got ...
A. 24 June 2013: This can be a very complex situation for your friend. I am sure she is happy for you, even was the first time, but still feels very sad for her own situation which could create guilt within her when feeling jealous towards you. You say you class her ... (read in full...)
Who Cares What People Think? Depends...
Q. How Much Should You Care About What Other People Think? By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships T here will be times when we want to do something in our lives that is meaningful to us. It could be a decision related to abandoning education, wh...
A. 1 March 2013: This is a very thought provoking post, I like it. some days ago someone actually told me the same, that you are in control of your own actions, do what you want, nothing is forbidden (it was a game) BUT remember what you can't control are the ... (read in full...)
Should we keep dating when we both know we are going to part sooner or later?
Q. So I've been dating this guy for a year we are 21 and 22. Great relationship, very happy together. We both know at some point in the future we will seperate, since we both have things (traveling, schooling) we need to do. I just lately have been ...
A. 1 March 2013: But are you really wasting your time here? It is understandable that you are used to planning ahead, always taking care of yourself, considering all the responibility you had to take from very young age. But there is also a now and if this guy is ... (read in full...)
Can I find a virgin woman?
Q. Hai, am 27 year old virgin guy, am a christian and i do not believe in premarital sex. Many women dont believe me because am quite succesful and goodlooking, my question is, is it wrong for me to ask a woman if shes a virgin? Am looking for a ...
A. 1 March 2013: It is not wrong to ask if that is what you want. But asking many details about a woman's sexual past might make you come across a bit odd. If you just tell them what YOU are looking for in a relationship/marriage, ie not gonna have sex before ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with someone taking interest in my partner?
Q. I have been seeing my girlfriend for around 4 months now. It's my first relationship, and her second but we're both pretty new to it and still learning. We attend college together, and a few weeks ago had a new semester and a new girl was in our ...
A. 1 March 2013: What bothers me with this story is not how this new girl behaves but how your girlfriend does. Even if she does not agree with you that this is something for you to feel that upset about, I find it uncomfortable if she does not stand up for you, or ... (read in full...)
Is it fair to expect any future girlfriend not to have more experience than me and to not have dated a "bad boy" then?
Q. I am very inexperienced, and am still a virgin at 19. I want a girlfriend who will be loyal, loving, beautiful and giving. I have some confidence issues when it comes to girls. The few compliments I ever get, other girls tell me about a girl talking ...
A. 25 January 2013: Sorry for late respons. No, I did not mean that the only course of getting women is to either be a bad boy or wait for them to finish with the girl. I meant with my post to say that there are many ways of looking upon the situation and by limiting... (read in full...)
Is it fair to expect any future girlfriend not to have more experience than me and to not have dated a "bad boy" then?
Q. I am very inexperienced, and am still a virgin at 19. I want a girlfriend who will be loyal, loving, beautiful and giving. I have some confidence issues when it comes to girls. The few compliments I ever get, other girls tell me about a girl talking ...
A. 20 January 2013: You can think of it in different perspectives. You can meet a girl now that is unexperienced and everything is fine for some time until she starts thinking about all the things out there she has not yet explored. And she will be curious and maybe ... (read in full...)
Cheating lying ex still calls me up - why???
Q. So i'll start from the beginning. we met through the internet... sounds dubious. i wasn't sure about it myself either... but we did have mutual friends in the real world so it made it a little easier to connect with each other. we hadn't met but ...
A. 18 January 2013: I am sad this happened to you, you have been treated very badly and it is good you understand this and want to go on finding someone better for you. You must not reply more to his messages and not check his Facebook status. That will just upset ... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I get attached to people very quickly?
Q. Hey everyone, Lately I'v been thinking about how I am,and conclusion I'm a little wierd..cuz I get too attached to people it being first,I may know you for a day and I expect that it would last for a long time and I'm referring to friendsh...
A. 18 January 2013: Yes, I am very much like that. If I meet somebody i like I get very attached very fast. Sometimes even to people that in the long run shows not to be so good for me. It is very hurtful and takes a lot of energy.
Did you ever read about attachme... (read in full...)
Did he think I was too hard to get?
Q. Hi guys, I'm 17 years old and I really would like if someone could help me. There is a boy in my school who I never really noticed before until now when I realised that he stares at me everyday, goofing around near me and trying to get close to me ...
A. 18 January 2013: Sounds like he thought you was pretty and was checking you out a bit. I think he is looking around for many girls he founds nice or cool, to see if there might be any response of interest.
The question is, what do you think of him? If you are ... (read in full...)
I feel good but bad at he same time. I told my FWB that I'd developed feelings for him. Now he wants a break?
Q. Oh gosh, okay, sorry if this is a little long it may just end up viewed as venting. I've been seeing this guy and I've posted about this situation a couple of months ago. Well, we continued seeing each other and it seems now that it was clearly ...
A. 16 January 2013: Don't punch yourself over having told him. What do you think would have happened if you hadn't? You would still have been sitting there frustrated wondering about what happened and when he finally moved on you would have been angry with yourself for ... (read in full...)
She doesn't want to change her Facebook status to 'in a relationship'....
Q. Im in a ldr with a wonderful girl for about 8 months, i've been introduced to her friends and family, in fact we spend christmas and new years together. i have pictures on my fb showing us together and she has shown me in other ways she cares about ...
A. 16 January 2013: Not all people want everybody to know everything, especially if there are very many aquintances on there. I would not have put up that information myself on FB, which I use pretty much as your girlfriend does, i.e. almost never and for almost ... (read in full...)
In a FWB relationship should I be angry that he stood me up?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for quite a short time. It started out as a one night stand but we have been seeing each others again after that. It is clear it is nothing else than for sex, which is fine with me since I am recently single and not really ...
A. 31 December 2012: Ok, now he has left. He will not move abroad for good after all but be back soon to live on his own here.
I have had my heart totally crushed. I feel used of course, and as anonymous says, it was better when he was just my lover. Then he showed more... (read in full...)
In a FWB relationship should I be angry that he stood me up?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for quite a short time. It started out as a one night stand but we have been seeing each others again after that. It is clear it is nothing else than for sex, which is fine with me since I am recently single and not really ...
A. 28 December 2012: I let him because I was interested in getting to know him better. I understand his perception of the world is totally different from mine. I don't believe he has evil intentions, he just does what comes to his mind in the very moment. I understand ... (read in full...)
In a FWB relationship should I be angry that he stood me up?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for quite a short time. It started out as a one night stand but we have been seeing each others again after that. It is clear it is nothing else than for sex, which is fine with me since I am recently single and not really ...
A. 26 December 2012: I must make an update, since so many things happened.
We continued seeing each others for another month, then I found out he is having a newborn. I asked him about it and he told me the mom and he split up a few months ago. I found all this too hard... (read in full...)
I like two of my cousins. They are both great guys but I don't know which one to choose. Help please!
Q. HI, Sorry if this seems long now by some chance,but i really need advice! So Basically, There are these two guys which i like,but the problem is that they are both cousins. The thing is like i like one of the guys because he is gorgeous, extr...
A. 8 December 2012: From your actual question, I don't necessarily get the impression that these guys are YOUR cousins as well, even though it says so in the headline. If you all are, then my reply is along the same line as Karlos5021. But it seems like you are not,... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my anxiety over this science teacher? She puts me on the spot, I want to run from the room.
Q. Hi... Okay this is going to sound proper weird but recently we got a new science teacher for chemistry... me and my bf are in the same class and he said he is good at chemistry because he has chemists in his family. Thing is we met in science li...
A. 8 December 2012: Study harder so that you know the answers. But, maybe more important, be good at what you really like. If you don't really like chemistry very much, but love another subject, go for that other. The thing is that most people are attracted to people ... (read in full...)
I love her more than anything but she doesn't reply to me!
Q. I loved a girl of my age. she is my childhood class mate in 6th standard. I love her more than anyone. I have proposed her through email i have written more than ten emails. She didnt reply me. She wot lift my call. I sent an email that "pls say ...
A. 7 December 2012: It is hard to be rejected or ignored, I know! But for every letter you send to her and for every call you make that is not answered upon, you will hurt yourself more and more every time. For some reason she has decided that you are not the one for ... (read in full...)
Did he really love me if he got another girl pregnant?
Q. i had a boyfriend for 8 years. while together he got another girl pregnant who is his classmate. did he really love me? he said it was all accident and did not love the girl. added he will just give the girl's request to get them married and later ...
A. 7 December 2012: Love can be an odd thing. He might love you, he might not. You may never know. What you DO know for sure though, is that he is a man that seems fully ready now to take no responsibility whatsoever for his own child. Whether this woman meant ... (read in full...)
I'm emotionally attached to him but got caught up in a mess. What now?
Q. He came as a visitor whom I received. I was almost 18 and he was 29. We texted each other after our official meeting. He was very flirty and asked whether I was single. We planned to have coffee, but he got lost and his tour guide picked him up. ...
A. 2 December 2012: Q1: General advice is to ask him what he wants from you. If I would guess what happened, then I would guess that he probably did like you after your meeting and didn't want to let go even though he knew he was not going to stay and even though he ... (read in full...)
Planning to try new things in our sex life, but how can I feel more confident?
Q. So I posted about really liking my FWB and we have had an open chat about what we both want and we're going to stick with each other which has made me really happy. But now he wants to take things a lot further, not relationship, but more erotic ...
A. 2 October 2012: Wow, I wish I HAD! ;-) There are probably other aunts out there who can give better advice on how you feel more sexier and confident, but I got one thing that crossed my mind, which I wanted to say about this. If you go into more serious bondage ... (read in full...)
The school books I need cost more than my allowance
Q. Hey everyone, This is not a relationship question, I just want to know if this is right. Ok my dad passed away like 6 months ago, and I don't have no parents with me, I live with a guardian. I receive social security every month, i get $400 a mon...
A. 2 October 2012: Did you talk about exactly what the money you get to keep is supposed to cover? Is it clear that school books and other things you need for your education should be included? What about winter boots, winter coat, and the like? I think you should... (read in full...)
Do people in work places always take sides like this? The woman who was disciplined (and unjustly) has been sacked and I don't think it's fair.
Q. Hello Aunts,this is a work relationship question. Recently two women where I work had a fall out, not major at all, but one reported the other to our manager. When the other came into work she got disciplined and she walked out as she didnt want t...
A. 2 October 2012: No, not always. But it happens. Often the weaker the leaders of a company is, the worse the climate in between the employees who get unsecure and scared and might tend to take sides with what is more secure for them. You are brave to try and spea... (read in full...)
I cheated and I think I like the new guy more. I am so confused about which man to choose. How do l choose?
Q. Heya, been with my boyfriend for five years. He's 25 years old and l am 22 years old. We didn't stay together. He's so irresponsible, he drinks a lot. He says he loves me, but he has cheated on me a couple of times, and he always swore never to do ...
A. 2 October 2012: Your boy friend is irresponsible, drinks a lot and cheated on you a couple of times?? My advice would be to leave this man no matter who else you met or didn't meet. You are better off alone than with a man who drinks and cheat on you. Then you ... (read in full...)
I don't like sex. Anyone else?
Q. I just wonder why people can't accept that i dont like sex. Ive never been raped, abused or anything like that, i just dont ever feel the need for it. All my hormone levels r ok. I can watch it on tv, if a sexy scene on a programme comes up but that ...
A. 1 October 2012: Like with everything that kind of breaks the norm, this is one of those topics that probably can set people off. They want to fix it, find a solution and so on. It says you are 41-50 which means you are a mature woman who supposedly know what you ... (read in full...)
How do I handle this? He only comes around when he wants sex!
Q. I am a heavy set woman that is very attractive and has had no problems finding ppl. But this one guy that I have been with only calls or comes around when he wants sex. How can I know if hes ashamed of me? Ive asked him over and over is he ashamed ...
A. 1 October 2012: I agree with the others that it really doesn't seem like this guy agrees with you that you two are a couple. Have you asked him if he sees you as his girlfriend (like a proper one) and he says yes then? I am sorry but this guy might not be the right ... (read in full...)
Does he want more than FWB?
Q. About a year ago I started uni and met a whole lot of new people, I got in an awesome friend group and everything was good. One of the guys from the group was a bit of a slag and hooked up with tonnes of girls, but he was still a great guy. After ...
A. 1 October 2012: Hmm, he obviously like to be somewhat close to you since he talks about such personal things. But what his intentions might be is hard to tell from this. Since you did hang around as friends a bit even before, he might have developed a feeling of ... (read in full...)
How can I be sexy to the opposite sex?
Q. So I guess I can illustrate my issue with an example. I'm standing in this hip dive bar I like with some friends, and as we sit at a table cracking jokes and making pop culture references, as is the way with most of my social engagements, I see a ...
A. 1 October 2012: Sign up for a dance class if you can't already. Sure, muscular men can be very attractive at the outside, but fun guys who can dance and "see" the girl are and have always been attractive to most girls, even attractive ones. Maybe you should work ... (read in full...)
In a FWB relationship should I be angry that he stood me up?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for quite a short time. It started out as a one night stand but we have been seeing each others again after that. It is clear it is nothing else than for sex, which is fine with me since I am recently single and not really ...
A. 1 October 2012: Denise, I got that idea after having gotten it myself a few times at guys' houses before leaving in the morning and I found it very caring. I will not speculate in whether they kept it for fwb or other friends ;-).
And condoms, yes, are you kidd... (read in full...)
Pimples by my vagina?
Q. is it normal to have pimples by my vagina? i have shaved ever since high school so i know it's not those kinds of bumps. do i pop them? seems painful...
A. 1 October 2012: It might not be pimples, it could be just the glands that got a bit inlamed. Or well, I guess that is some kind of a pimple. It is not dangerous but I don't think you shuold pop them, better let them be until they go away by themselves it is a ... (read in full...)
In a FWB relationship should I be angry that he stood me up?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for quite a short time. It started out as a one night stand but we have been seeing each others again after that. It is clear it is nothing else than for sex, which is fine with me since I am recently single and not really ...
A. 30 September 2012: Thank you CindyCares och So_Very_Confused. I am glad that there are others who think some decency must apply in all situations in between people.
CaringGuy, you do give very caring answer, it is wise and much appreciated, but I am far away fro... (read in full...)
In a FWB relationship should I be angry that he stood me up?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for quite a short time. It started out as a one night stand but we have been seeing each others again after that. It is clear it is nothing else than for sex, which is fine with me since I am recently single and not really ...
A. 30 September 2012: Thank you, so many answers! And as various as my thoughts leading me to want to ask somebody about it, haha, but all very helpful. Cerberus, I don't think you are a sexist ^^^^^e for this answer (but it I did read it with one eye shut ;-)), it is... (read in full...)
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