A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy about a month ago and we were hitting it off pretty well. We were spending every day together. He was sending me flowers, chocolate, took me on lots of dates and never failed to compliment me and tell me how special i was to him and how happy he was that he met me. I met his whole family and all of his friends and best friends. Everything was going well... until a couple of days ago, when he completely disappeared. i called him once and send him a text. but no reply. being worried if he was ok, I searched him on facebook, and i saw that he recently changed his relationship status to "in a relationship" with his ex. I guess they are back together. I sent him another text asking him if he could give me a call when he gets a chance. He finally replied saying that he is having some issues in the family and that he will give me call when he gets off work. Obviously he is lying, but how do i confront him about him getting back together with his ex? Should i even let him know that I know about this? what should my reaction be? Oh btw, i got to really like the guy, but that doesn't mean I would let him play me... i'd rather play him!
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to thank you guys so much on your insights! I took your advice and made no contact at all with him. Btw: he never called that day... Until a week ago I got a call from him but i decided not to pick up the phone. Yesterday, again he called, and out of pure instinct i picked up ... and when i realized that I should have not answered I just said : "Who is this?" Hearing this he just hung up. Later in the day I got another call from him.Didn't answer again. (very proud of myself actually).
He did leave a movie at my place while we were seeing each other so i just texted him saying "I will mail you the movie. Please don't call again". I hope I did the right thing.. and I really hope that he doesn't contact me again.. because honestly it hurt a little bit to remind myself what I went through!
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 October 2010):
I'm with the post below. I also don't like the idea of you wanting to 'play him'. Apart from it showing you up a bit, it also suggests you're a little naive. You can't 'play' a certified 'player'. Oh yes, you could try. But this guy will win you over. Just walk away with your dignity intact.
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A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (16 October 2010):
 I don't like your statement that you want to play him, seriously, that is just vindictive.
You met the guy a month ago, he isn't your boyfriend, he didn't offer you a relationship, he courted you and he decided to go back to his ex. He didn't really play you, but he did give you a lot of red flags that you missed.
You shouldn't have gone out on a third date with this guy.
Any guy who comes on that strong and idolizes you and pushes for 24/7 is not just that into you, it is an indication of a serious personality disordered person more than likely. You dodged a bullet. Don't confront him, stop calling him and tell him have a nice life and go no contact.
Normal guys do not act like professional daters and buy you flowers and chocolates and tell you how amazing you are and want to breathe your air...only weirdos do that.
Trust me, he and his ex will be breaking up soon for the nth time, it is typical relationship of a personality disordered individual.
Listen to this "talk" about how to tell if you are dating a loser..
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/askheartbeat/2009/12/20/the-warning-signs-that-youre-dating-a-loser
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