| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
How can I stop getting so angry all the time??
Q. Hi veeryone. I'm 13 and want to know why I am so angry. I haven't had a good life at all and my mom said she fears I will run away or something. But the littlest things get me angry and it is very sudden. I don't want to Hurt myself, but I want to ...
A. 3 October 2010: No wonder you're angry and upset! You have every right to be. There's a lot going on right now, right at the age when you're about to start growing up and developing into an adult. So you have my sympathy.
You're obviously a smart girl. You're only... (read in full...)
Can I divorce him or get an annulment? What about property?
Q. My husband and I separated, we've been married under a year. we married in march this year, I want a divorce. I have two questions. 1. can I divorce him now? Or get an annulment? 2. I want to buy a property within the next 2months, if I buy the pro...
A. 2 October 2010: 1 - Talk to a lawyer. There's no other way of being sure unless you talk to a lawyer.
2 - While you're married, don't buy anything. He may be entitled to part of it. ... (read in full...)
His gf told him to stop talking to me online, so he blocked he! I just don't understand why??
Q. First off, this may not seem real important to whomever is reading my problem, but it is for me, so bear with me? This guy and i were really tight on msn and were so close with each other (as friends you understand) until there was this time wh...
A. 2 October 2010: You're a liability in her eyes. She made him choose. He chose her. That's all there is to it. ... (read in full...)
Why are women attracted to guys with fancy cars?
Q. Why are women more attracted to men with fancy cars than men with raggedy cars? Does it really matter and why?...
A. 2 October 2010: At the risk of sounding old school and sexist, I'd say this comes down to status and money.
The man with the better car looks richer, more attractive, more of a status symbol. So the women on his arm looks as cool and as attractive as he is, and ... (read in full...)
Will I be alone for ever?
Q. I am 22 in 2 months i will be 23. I am divorced (i got married at 16) and a single mom of 3. I have been alone so long and i cant even get a guy to look at me. I have done all of the stuff people have told me. (be yourself go out stop looking...) ...
A. 2 October 2010: Your problem is an interesting one. I know this is getting to you, so when I'm honest, please don't get upset or think it's all hopeless. It's not.
I'm your age. This month, I will be turning 23. So we're basically almost the same. Except you'... (read in full...)
She dumped me because I failed to make plans for the future
Q. My girlfriend of 3 years has just dumped me. I'm 34 and she is 28. I cheated on her once, and it came out at the start of the year. I had also failed to make any concrete plans to move in (start living) with her, or mention marriage / kids. She was ...
A. 2 October 2010: More importantly that worrying about her, are you going to worry about yourself?
Whilst I understand you want her back, there are serious concerns on her part that you need to address here.
First of all, the cheating. That will have caused h... (read in full...)
His behaviour did not change when he was told I like him as more than a friend
Q. Dear Cupid, I fell for one of my best guy friends a year ago, and things have been interesting. I was going to tell my friend (We'll call him "Nick") about my feelings, but something got in the way and I didn't have the appropriate timing. ...
A. 2 October 2010: Either he didn't believe your friend, or he isn't interested in you.
Sometimes men only respond to be being told something directly. A friend of a girl once asked me out, and I just didn't take it seriously because the girl hadn't asked me hers... (read in full...)
He's been asking for a divorce but since I've decided yes, he has changed his mind
Q. Hi everyone, I'm taking some time off of my 2 year marriage, ever since we were boyfriend and girlfriend relationship has been full of drama, he's always been very jealous and all our arguments get very very bad, like he's always too proud to accept ...
A. 2 October 2010: Him asking for a divorce is exactly what you needed. It's woken you right up! This guy is awful. In two years of being married, he's been totally jealous, controlling, angry and has blamed you for everything.
I know why he asked for that divo... (read in full...)
FWB moved on to a relationship, but came back and cheated with me
Q. Ok, i'm going to try and make this as short as posible. A had a FWB/buddy, this ended and he now is with somebody. This is the bad part, we had sex a couple on months ago, so basicaly he cheated. Since then i've tried distancing myself from him, he ...
A. 2 October 2010: You need to cut contact with him. ASAP. Your own reputation could be damaged if something like this got out, and you really don't want to have to explain to people why you slept with him whilst he had a girlfriend.
I'm afraid this guy is very much... (read in full...)
He's verbally attacks me but blanks out when I confront him about what he does! Any advice on why he does this?
Q. I am married to a strong-minded, controlling man. He will throw temper tantrums to get his way and to silence me when I try to speak up for myself. He has verbally attacked me many times with put downs,dtreating me like I am stupid. I have mentioned ...
A. 2 October 2010: The Multiple Personality Disorder Idea is an interesting one.
I am far more sceptical, however. Mental illnesses like that aren't all that common, and from what you've said, this man is not suffering from mental illness. He could have narc... (read in full...)
He's verbally attacks me but blanks out when I confront him about what he does! Any advice on why he does this?
Q. I am married to a strong-minded, controlling man. He will throw temper tantrums to get his way and to silence me when I try to speak up for myself. He has verbally attacked me many times with put downs,dtreating me like I am stupid. I have mentioned ...
A. 2 October 2010: The Multiple Personality Disorder Idea is an interesting one.
I am far more sceptical, however. Mental illnesses like that aren't all that common, and from what you've said, this man is not suffering from mental illness. He could have narc... (read in full...)
Pregnant with another man's baby but wants me to be the father
Q. me and my ex girlfriend moved back in together, after breaking up pretty badly our first go around, i believe in my heart dearly that she cheated on me during our relationship, not even 24 hours of us breaking up she had another man in our ...
A. 2 October 2010: Please, PLEASE end this nightmare now.
Seriously look at the situation.
First of all, you believe she cheated. Within 24 hours of you initially breaking up, she had another guy over. During the break-up, she slept with married men who were ex'... (read in full...)
I am bored with my boyfriend and he is embaressing as well
Q. I'm starting to have second opinions on my relationship...I've had a boyfriend for 2 months. Two days after we met we went on our first date and have been together since then, but I honestly don't know that much about him. On the bright side he's ...
A. 2 October 2010: You don't have anything together! At 2 months, you've found you have little in common, and you're already bored and embarrassed. He's obviously a nice guy, but he's clearly not the one for you at all. Let him go and find someone else, and you go and ... (read in full...)
Is her new relationship a rebound and will she come back to me?
Q. My girlfriend and I have recently broken up, about 2 weeks ago, and it's been pretty hard. And she has a new boyfriend that she met while she was involved with me. I know that we both loved each other towards the end of the relationship but the main ...
A. 2 October 2010: I don't think it is a rebound. If you'd dumped her, then she'd found that guy, I'd have said it was a rebound. As it is, I think she met this guy, then dumped you. In fact, you're at risk of rebounding here.
I'm also afraid she won't be coming back... (read in full...)
He says he loves me too much to leave so why am I so confused
Q. i had previously gotten some advice bcuz my bf cant get over my past which i cheated on my ex husband he says i will always b a cheater and at times puts me down.. he is hurt at the fact that i wuz not the girl he expected me to be... but i think he ...
A. 2 October 2010: I just don't see the point in staying with a guy who is judging you for something you did with someone else, then saying he can 'never trust you again', but wont' leave. I don't see the point. I think you're with a controlling drama queen to be ... (read in full...)
Why would a man stay with his girlfriend when he wants to come home to his family?
Q. What are some of the reasons a man would stay with his girlfriend he left his family for when all other signs point to him wanting to come back home? He knows hes welcome to anytime. I just really want some perspective on how a man might be feeling ...
A. 1 October 2010: Because he doesn't really want to come back. What he wants is to be able to have his cake and eat it. I don't think you should be taking him back. ... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable to ask her to break her friendship with the guy she slept with?
Q. My girlfriend of 3 1/2 years broke up with me stating she wasnt happy anymore, we were apart for 2 weeks and got back together again for a night and hooked up and she told me she was still in love with me. But then again less than a week later she ...
A. 1 October 2010: I really don't think this is going to work out anyway. There is no trust at all between you, and she has been cruel in dumping you twice. I think you might just as well move on to someone who is ready to commit. It may well be that she just split ... (read in full...)
How does one go about asking out a teacher?
Q. First of all, I'm not a self obssessed idiot, and i know when people are flirting. I want to be with someone who is intelligent, funny and pretty, there is only person who is like that that i want to be with like that. I think she likes me too, she...
A. 1 October 2010: You've picked the wrong woman. She's not intelligent at all. In fact, by doing what she's doing, she's probably breaking that law, and that makes her a sex offender. If something happened between you two, you'd end up expelled, she'd end up fired ... (read in full...)
What could have caused this reaction from a colleague?
Q. I have gotten to know a male colleague over the last weeks and we just had a business trip together. Clearly there was some physical attraction over the weeks but we are both married. Anyhow, we chatted on the plane and he talked about his wife, and ...
A. 1 October 2010: He had this reaction because he knows there is a physical attraction, and he wants you to know now that it will go no further. I think he thought that either you thought there was more to the dinner, or he was worried about what he was going to get ... (read in full...)
Wife taking 24 condoms on holiday when she is going with 3 other women.
Q. hi my wife and i have funny kind of marrage (i think we have been married a lot of years) yes i know how many 30. each year she and 3 old (well same age girlfriends go away on holiday for a week. this year they are going on a crusie and i was...
A. 1 October 2010: I think it's safe to say she wants to cheat. 24 condoms in her bag? She's got plans. I would sit her down and tell her what you found. And you shouldn't be okay with your wife acting this way at all. Worse still, you need to ask yourself whether ... (read in full...)
Wife taking 24 condoms on holiday when she is going with 3 other women.
Q. hi my wife and i have funny kind of marrage (i think we have been married a lot of years) yes i know how many 30. each year she and 3 old (well same age girlfriends go away on holiday for a week. this year they are going on a crusie and i was...
A. 1 October 2010: I think it's safe to say she wants to cheat. ... (read in full...)
We split because she said we didn't do anything specal together. Any advice?
Q. me and my gf split on amicable terms...i thought things where on the mend and improving she says she split because we didnt do anything special, i spoilt her too much and we spent too much time together...she also got tired of my anxiety disorder...
A. 1 October 2010: Yes, seriously scrap her from your life.... (read in full...)
Why isn't he interested in phone sex any more?
Q. My bf is now thoroughly disinterested in phone sex and instead makes it into a joke. He used to love it. What's changed? I'm worried. ...
A. 1 October 2010: Maybe he's bored of it. Or, as with most thing, maybe he wants the real thing more and more. Phone sex isn't nearly as fun as the real thing.... (read in full...)
I know we'll be married and have kids one day, but not yet for goodness sake!
Q. I know my girlfriend is the one for me. I know someday she and I will be married and we'll have kids together. I can feel it in my bones and I just... KNOW. Problem is... Both of her best girl friends are married; one even has a kid on the way, ...
A. 1 October 2010: Tell her you're not ready for marriage and kids, and would prefer to focus on ensuring you can offer her a decent lifestyle with a good home, cars, holidays etc before you make any huge commitments like that. You're right to wait. ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriends boss coming onto him, or just friendly?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating a year now and my boyfriend got another job after being laid off a month ago. This is a small ice cream parlor job, so everyone working there is a three to five years younger than him. During the slow times at the ...
A. 1 October 2010: Actually, I'm not sure you need to worry about your boyfriend. He's being totally honest, as honest as can be. In fact, he's being so honest that he seems blissfully unaware of this boss of his.
She does sound like she fancies him. Through and thro... (read in full...)
Thinking of getting back in contact with my bestfriend
Q. Ok....so basically my Best friend(female) screwed me over and accused me of things that i could and would never image doing too her behinde her back and actually believing i would EVER do or think these things. We've been there for each other t...
A. 1 October 2010: You know when a woman goes out with a man who repeatedly hurts her and such, and you scream 'dump him' but she doesn't listen and she gets hurt over and over again. It can work for friendships too. Whatever she did to you, it was big enough that you ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend met up with his ex and I'm still not over it!
Q. My boyfriend met up with his ex without telling me and the only reason I found out is because I had a gut feeling and asked him a month later and he can't lie. It's been almost a year since and we're still together. And I still kinda don't feel I ...
A. 1 October 2010: Go back to him and talk to him again. Tell him that even after a year, you're still feeling very vulnerable about it and need reassurance. The truth is, only he can give you any kind of closure (if he chooses to talk about it)
As for meeting, ther... (read in full...)
How can I stop getting so angry all the time??
Q. Hi veeryone. I'm 13 and want to know why I am so angry. I haven't had a good life at all and my mom said she fears I will run away or something. But the littlest things get me angry and it is very sudden. I don't want to Hurt myself, but I want to ...
A. 1 October 2010: Tell us about your life. Why haven't you had a good life?... (read in full...)
I don't love him as he seems to love me, but should I stay for my kid's sake??
Q. Should I stay with Mr. Wonderful or should I go? Summary: I have loved this great guy mildly for years. He moved from another state to be with me six years ago and we have been through much together. We are not married because we are both skittis...
A. 1 October 2010: I think it would be a dreadful shame if you two couldn't work this out. You sound like a nice couple! And he seems like a good guy, even if he is missing the mark when it comes to giving you attention. So, before you throw the towel in, talk to him ... (read in full...)
Confusing on again, off again relationship, any ideas where his head is??
Q. Hello. I've found myself in a muddle with a guy and would like some advice. I've known him for eight months, and in that time I've seen him on and off for three times, each time ending with a fight because he 'wasn't sure what he wanted'. We ...
A. 1 October 2010: If you're looking for anything more than FWB, or just a casual boyfriend, this is the guy. If you're looking for more, this is not the guy. He sounds way to insecure, jealous and needy, and I fear you may be the rebound girl. ... (read in full...)
Men only question, would you be interested in a woman like me??
Q. For men only! I have 34c breasts. I weigh 165 am 5' 10" dirty blonde hair. I am shy. My eyes are brownish green. By what I told u would u be interested in me?...
A. 1 October 2010: Guys like blondes, guys like tall women :). So I'm sure you're attractive. But you sound terribly underconfident, and that's something you need to address. Men are a bit wary of that.... (read in full...)
Can I change the picture in my permit?
Q. I hate my permit picture..i am actually in my twenties and just learning to drive now..my non drivers id before this--i looked very cute..this one the pose is just all wrong and i look heavier and suprised because i wasn't ready is there a way...
A. 1 October 2010: Here in Britain, the only way to change something like that is to get a new permit. Maybe you need to do that if you don't like the picture. Just don't put another picture on top, or you'll wind up arrested. ... (read in full...)
Does it automatically make someone selfish if they don't want kids?
Q. My parents are devastated that I had a vasectomy years ago and that I don't want to have kids. But my question is...why do people accuse me of being selfish because of this? How is it selfish if someone doesn't want kids? My mum said this genera...
A. 1 October 2010: Rubbish. Selfish would be having kids and not looking after them properly. If you don't want kids, that's your choice. It doesn't' make you selfish. If you know kids aren't your thing, having that operation was actually the best thing you could have ... (read in full...)
I'm not a mistress. or am i? I'm fed up with feeling lonely
Q. What do I do? I've been with my 'boyfriend' for almost 5 years. I love him and he says he loves me! But, and it's a big one...I've never met his friends, he seens to 'jump' when his ex says 'jump'. This I understand as they have three children...
A. 30 September 2010: After 5 years, I'd be expecting so much more than one night together every two weeks. I'd also be fed up and lonely because of this. I do think you'd be better moving on from him and finding someone who will commit. He's either not really over his ... (read in full...)
Have you ever fallen for someone you didn't get along with?
Q. Guys, have you ever fallen for a girl you did not initially get along with?...
A. 30 September 2010: Not me. If I don't like a girl, I really don't like her.But as The Realist says, love can come out of strange circumstances. ... (read in full...)
Do guys get surprised when the see what the breasts are shaped like without the bra?
Q. Are you ready for a nontraditional question? Do guys get pleasantly/nonpleasantly surprised (you decide) when the bras come off their girlfriends? Girls wear all sorts of push up bras, lifting bras etc. that I'm curious if guys get surprise...
A. 30 September 2010: Always pleasantly surprised. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend had sex with another guy because of me!! What do I do?
Q. I was with my girlfriend for almost 1 1/2 years, i got real drunk, some girl jus had 100% intention on doing everything with me, i barely spoke to her the entire night. I still dont know to this day why i followed her up to her room. We had sex. My ...
A. 30 September 2010: It's over, it's done, move on from this relationship now. You cheated when drunk, which is terrible. And instead of her making a decision about staying or leaving, she cheated too and now blames you for it all. There is no way that this can work ... (read in full...)
He's leaving the wife!
Q. My man is in a loveless marriage, and he's leaving his wife very soon. We've talked at length about this and he just doesn't want to be there anymore. He's not moving in with me, but finding his own place. I know when the shit hits the fan it...
A. 30 September 2010: Thankfully, he's had the sense not to move in straight with you. That will make this a bit easier for you both. Basically, you'll just have to live with it and whatever people throw at you, take it gracefully. Hopefully, since he's not living with ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is expecting twins with another woman
Q. Me and My boyfriend have been together for 6 years we had a falling out last year due to his craving for woman and his dishonesty so we broke up for three months and than got back together needless to say we are about to have a baby girl. Just ...
A. 30 September 2010: You've got to let him find out whether they are his. This affects you and your own child very much. Money, meetings, his twins visiting etc. This is all stuff that you need to plan for now, and the only way to do that is through a DNA test to make ... (read in full...)
Why can't guys let go of the past?
Q. ive been with my boyfriend for a yr and everything was good well at times it still is to a certain point. he has been tryng to deal with my pass. i had cheated twice on my ex husband. and he has such a big prblm with that he calls me names he says ...
A. 30 September 2010: I'll turn the question around. Why do you feel it's acceptable to stay with a man who shows you no respect, treat you like dirt, interrogates you and insults you?
This is not your problem. It's hit. And it's not worth staying with him.... (read in full...)
Woman says she is pregnant with my husbands twins!
Q. Ive been with my husband for ten years we have three kids together ages 3,4,8. and he amitted that he cheated on me with his manager . He said he slep with her three times he claim he dont remember when because he was really drunk and she agreed ...
A. 30 September 2010: 'He doesn't remember" - Busted and he knows it.
A DNA test will tell the tale. I'm with the post below. ... (read in full...)
I need a man's point of view on this one!
Q. From a male's perspective, do men as a general rule feel uncomfortable dating a woman who is separated and in the process of divorcing? If so will you explain why?...
A. 30 September 2010: When I met my girlfriend, she was going through a sticky divorce. It didn't bother me. But then my girlfriend had moved away from him and was really rebuilding her life, so it was obvious that she was over him and the divorce. It just depends on ... (read in full...)
We split because she said we didn't do anything specal together. Any advice?
Q. me and my gf split on amicable terms...i thought things where on the mend and improving she says she split because we didnt do anything special, i spoilt her too much and we spent too much time together...she also got tired of my anxiety disorder...
A. 30 September 2010: To be honest, I'm not sure you're the one at fault here as much as you think. Read what you wrote.
You didn't do anything special together. - Yet then she claimed that you were spending too much time together, and seemed happy to be spoilt. And ... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
