| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Slept with my husbands best friend
Q. Okay so i am a 19 year old mother of 3. I have a wonderful husband been married almost a year. well a couple of months ago i found out that my husband really good friend was a guy i used to hook up with and eventually fell madly head over heels in ...
A. 23 October 2010: We gave you help! We said stop the affair! So what's with the drama queen act? And how can you be a good mother when you're having an affair with your husband's best friend who dumped you! Parents and spouses like you are the worst people! You drag ... (read in full...)
How to approach my teacher once I graduate!
Q. okay, so here's the deal. i'm an 18 year old student and my teacher is new to the school this year, he's 25 and i think he's amazing! students can't add teachers on online networks so i only have access to info on him from 2-3 years ago on his ...
A. 23 October 2010: Well, I'm certainly glad you've had the good sense to know that you and he can't do anything until you've graduated. That's a good, mature decision.
All you can do is send a friend request online and see what happens, I guess. I can't really thin... (read in full...)
He is a good guy but often bails out on me, tells lies and puts me on the back burner!
Q. I've been with this guy for almost 5 months now (we're both 19). He's a good guy. He means well, and I know he cares about me. The only problem is his lack of maturity. He's a month away from possibly losing his license for a year, and he's yet to ...
A. 23 October 2010: This is a classic example of a girl ignoring all the signs and seeing only what she wants to. How can he be a good guy if he's almost losing his license, is in trouble for not having filed the paperwork, is immature, often bails on plans, lies to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend complains that I am not pulling my weight!
Q. My relationship is on the verge of breaking... or I think ...and the sad thing is that I am not sure how to fix it or if it can be fix at all. The thing is that I moved in to another city to be with my bf about a year ago. About 6 months ago, I ...
A. 23 October 2010: The only person not pulling weight is him. You work enough already, and if he can't help with housework then he's probably not all that great. A relationship should be 50/50, but this is more like a master and a slave or something. I think you can ... (read in full...)
She said she just wanted to be friends but then we made out a lot.
Q. A couple weeks ago this girl im friends with told me she just wanted to be friends theres more to the story i posted it on here before. So me her and a friend went to a concert and she was touchy feely with with me so i was confuzed and last friday ...
A. 23 October 2010: I think you should try talking to her again, but whatever she says this time, accept it. So if she says she just wants to be friends, then don't kiss her again. Maybe she'll say she is interested and that she's just shy or something. Or maybe she ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants a threesome but I'm against it!
Q. Hey guys, I have been going out with my girl friend for about three years now and lately she has been having this urge to have sex with another guy and then another girl (threesome). I am not comfortable with this at all due to various reasons ...
A. 23 October 2010: You shouldn't feel pressured into it. And the fact that she's pressuring you into it is a bit worrying. Does she have a specific male in mind?Because this sounds like she's trying to get an excuse to cheat on your to be honest.... (read in full...)
I beleive my ex is stalking me
Q. I been dating this guy wll over an year. Things started to go bad when his child mother came back in his life. She started to cause problems. We resolved our issue and move on. Now months later she back. I accused him on playing on my phone and ...
A. 23 October 2010: Unless you have any actual proof that it was him, no one can do anything. It may be that it was him, it may be that it was his baby's mother. It may be someone totally unrelated. But without proof, you'll never know. I'd suggest you go to the police ... (read in full...)
My ex asks a lot of questions about my private life ...
Q. My ex who i have a child with,asks me alot of questions about me and my private life not just about the child, i was seeing him for around two years.He then left me and got married 3 mounths later.Do you think this is a controll thing or a bit of ...
A. 23 October 2010: You don't have to answer any questions. This is all about control, not regret. If he regretted what he did, he'd be saying sorry. Instead, he's just trying to keep you controlled. But you don't need to take it at all. ... (read in full...)
Younger guys just don't have what I want!
Q. I'm 19 years old.I'm only attracted to older guys,I'd say guys i find attractive are always between the ages of 25-40 is this normal? Because i feel like this isn't normal and im weird. I never have and never will be attracted to guys younger ...
A. 22 October 2010: I'm 22, and to be honest I've found that girls my own age don't really do much for me, so my girlfriend is older. I'm having a great time, and I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I don't think there's anything wrong with you either. You'll ... (read in full...)
My boyfriends family won't let go of his soon to be ex wife
Q. I am in a fairly new relationship with a man going through divorce. His family absolutely adores his soon to be ex and is making it clear that they want them to get back together. While they are friendly and cordial to me, the ex continues to be ...
A. 22 October 2010: First of all, stop looking at this like it's a war where everyone takes sides. Because you'll wind up in an even bigger mess where your boyfriend will be stuck in the middle of feuding women.
You are, unfortunately, the girlfriend. She is stil... (read in full...)
I don't think that this marriage is worth salvaging!
Q. My husband and I have been married for 3 years, and we dated beforehand for 6. It hasn't been an easy road and it's been filled with emotional abuse and at times it borders on physical abuse. We have also had our good times and I do love him, but I ...
A. 22 October 2010: You should have ended this relationship years ago, and I think you know it. This is just awful. The few good times do not make up for the emotional and physical abuse, the cheating etc.
For your own sake, make a break and just get away from him.... (read in full...)
Attracted to someone who looks like your ex means????
Q. i'm just curious about something.... if youre attracted to someone that reminds you of or is similar to your ex, does it mean you still have feelings for that person or does it just mean thats your "type""? i recently met a guy that i find really ...
A. 22 October 2010: Most likely it means you have a specific type that you go for. Consistently you've gone for the same type of guy, so I'd say that there are certain things you looks for in a man, and when you find them, you fall for the guy. You even said you were ... (read in full...)
Slept with my husbands best friend
Q. Okay so i am a 19 year old mother of 3. I have a wonderful husband been married almost a year. well a couple of months ago i found out that my husband really good friend was a guy i used to hook up with and eventually fell madly head over heels in ...
A. 22 October 2010: God almighty woman! You are 19, have you married to a wonderful guy and you have three children! And what do you do! You go and cheat on this wonderful husband and those three children with a guy who failed you. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING! He doesn't ... (read in full...)
Is this a bad sign? Lack of eye contact
Q. Hi there I am worried about something but it sounds trivial. My boyfriend hardly ever makes prolonged eye contact with me. I think he does love me because he tells me he does, and he puts me first. Plus we love to be in each others company, but...
A. 22 October 2010: He might just be shy about it. Just because he doesn't make eye contact doesn't mean he doesn't love you or has intimacy problems. He might just not like the whole 'staring into each others' eyes' thing. Look at the rest of the stuff you wrote. Your ... (read in full...)
Should I take my wife back again?
Q. HI, my wife and i been seperated for 4 months now. We had our ups and downs but i still lover her and we have a son together. She submitted the divorce and havent pay for it yet but she met her old boyfriend after 4 weeks when she kicked me out and ...
A. 22 October 2010: I've got this sneaking suspicion she's a woman who thought the grass was greener, and now it's not worked out, she's coming back just because it didn't work out, and not because she actually loves you. Personally, I wouldn't take her back. She ... (read in full...)
G/f says I've done nothing wrnog but she wants a break
Q. My girlfriend of 5.5 years just told me she wanted a break, but insisted it was nothing ive done, and she still loves me, she just needs space to take a step back and figure things out....what do i do? i have had no contact with her since "The Talk" ...
A. 22 October 2010: You can't do a thing, because it's not you. It's her. All you can do is wait and see what her problem is. There is just nothing you can do, because it's not you. ... (read in full...)
Snooping through his phone I found a text message to his ex saying I mean nothing to him!
Q. While sneaking through my boyfriend of 3 months phone, I found a email to his ex-wife stating that I am nothing to him, should I confront him??...
A. 22 October 2010: At 3 months, to be looking through his phone is a bad thing. But since you found something, I'd imagine that you had your suspicions something was wrong. So snooping this time worked,
Let's be realistic. 3 months into it, and he's there's a text... (read in full...)
Difficult situation with someone 4 years younger than me...
Q. Right well here is the story i need help on and i hope pepole can help me: There me who is 16 and this boy which is 12 so 4 years younger than me. we met and the second day we went out because we really really like each other and i didnt feel rig...
A. 22 October 2010: He's too young. ... (read in full...)
Sweden verses UK
Q. My boyfriend is Swedish and I'm English. He thinks England is backward and old. He liked some parts of it but generally I got the feeling that he was disappointed. It annoys me because he keeps yapping on and on about Sweden and how amazing e...
A. 22 October 2010: Tell him to sod off back to Sweden. ... (read in full...)
My friend set us up, but he came on too strong
Q. i dont know how to handle this. i have met up with this guy a couple of times. one of my friends has tried to set us up. he has never had a girlfriend, even though he is in his 30's, but i have dated a few men. i dont feel attracted to him, but he ...
A. 22 October 2010: I fancied a girl four years ago and came on a bit too strong and ruined it (not as strong as this guy though). To be fair to her, she was very kind about it, and I have a lot of respect for that. I think you've got to be honest. It's best that way. ... (read in full...)
How can I forgive him for moving away?
Q. How do I move past the pain? My boyfriend was with me for a year and then left me to go to university 250 miles away. I'm at university but i stayed at home and i can only see him every three-six weeks. We used to spend every single day together...
A. 22 October 2010: I have to agree with the post below. He's done nothing wrong. This isn't some ownerships thing where you own him, then he moves and all the girls at university own him just because he's there. He's there to study so he can get a better life for ... (read in full...)
I'm completely in love with my friend but don't want my boyfriend to get hurt!
Q. There's this guy I used to have a massive crush on and now we are going out. The problem is we've got nothing in common and he bores me to death. Another problem is that I've started to have feelings for my friend. He's a really cool guy and is ...
A. 21 October 2010: Don't you think you're jumping a little too fast here? You had a crush on one guy, who you presumably thought was cool and genuinely nice. Now you're going out with him, and he's boring. Then you suddenly decide your friend is cool and genuinely ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend lying about talking to a particular girl!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and a half and things are getting complicated. Throughout our relationship, we have always been jealous/insecure and it got worse and worse through time. We are exactly alike in that way. But ...
A. 21 October 2010: He's lying and going behind your back because you told him to give her up as a friend for no good reason. Neither had done anything wrong, yet you got a 'weird vibe' and said he had to give her up. You can't pick and choose his friends for him, ... (read in full...)
Should I get pregnant knowing my fiance doesn't want another child?
Q. My fiance and I have 3 boys (5,2,1 week), i just gave birth to a baby on 10/14. I desperately want to try for a girl and he doesn't want anymore children. 2 are his and 1 is from a previous relationship. He now wants to use condoms and get me on ...
A. 21 October 2010: No. Don't. It'll wreck your relationship with him. Don't EVER trap a man or play games like this. He is giving the clearest warning to you that he has 3 kids and cannot cope with more. Trap him, and you play an appalling game and you also stand a ... (read in full...)
What does "wandering eye" really mean?
Q. What does it mean by "wandering eye"? I've read a few posts here about women who are upset that their boyfriends/husbands are "looking" at other women. I've never read anything about a man who is jealous that his girlfriend/wife "looks" at other men ...
A. 21 October 2010: I think men don't complain as much, because women are more subtle when eyeing a man they like up. With men, it's a bit obvious. Women are more subtle, so men don't see it. You'll probably find that the way you look at attractive people is not as in ... (read in full...)
My friend got a married woman pregnant and now doesn't know what to do!
Q. please help to my friend. My friend is a student with me. He had sex with the wife of his house mate and she is now pregnant. My friend is aftraid and still a teenager. He doesnt know what to do, should he tell his housemate's wife to have an ...
A. 21 October 2010: First of all, he needs to be sure it's hers. That means a DNA test. After that, he cant' do anything. He has to do what she wants, because only she can have the abortion. He has to sit there and wait.... (read in full...)
How can a man get over thier ex in a month and meet someone right after and claim to be in love with that person?
Q. How can a man get over thier ex in a month and meet someone right after and claim to be in love with that person? I had been with my ex for 5 1/2 years and now I am 8 1/2 mos pregnant. He left me, a month ago, and then met someone I knew r...
A. 21 October 2010: Realistically, he probably isn't over her. It's most likely that she's a rebound and within a few years he'll have ended it with her too. Men don't really move on that fast. What we do is transfer feelings from one person to another. The feelings ... (read in full...)
Would a guy pick the girl with the big boobs?
Q. embarrassing question... :S would a guy rather a girl with an athletic body, LOTS of muscle, long legs, a six pack, and a good bum but has small boobs (A)... or would he rather a girl with an average or skinny body, with big boobs? both girls hav...
A. 21 October 2010: Depends on the guy. Some guys like big boobs, some don't. So it depends on what the guy likes, and also what he likes about her personality. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't marry me because of my past.
Q. In the beginning of our relationship I told my boyfriend about my past sexual relationships. I have slept with more guys than he has girls and have had a few friends with benefits type situations. I wanted to be honest and upfront with him because I ...
A. 21 October 2010: This guy isn't worth your time. He has no respect for you, and if he can't get over your past which you were honest about, then there really is no point in you being together. Your relationship is far from perfect. Someone not being able to get over ... (read in full...)
Does my girlfriend like me anymore?
Q. I think my gf does not like me..... To start the story off we met through friends. By giving us each others number. We then hit it off we txt all the time and every night chat on phone for average 2hours (once 7hours) via this voda sim. We live in ...
A. 21 October 2010: I think you've done as much as you can. I think to be honest she's probably not interested anymore, for whatever reason. Maybe things moved too fast when you met romantically. Maybe she's met someone else. Maybe she's embarrassed, or not ready. Who ... (read in full...)
Torn between my ex and his friend, who should I choose?
Q. Ok, i dont really know how to start this off so im just gonna jump in. me and my boyfriend have been going out for amost a year now. and in that year hes been to jail 10 times. I love him to death. but now he just got out the other day and ...
A. 21 October 2010: Neither. If you can't choose between two people, then neither person is right for you. And, to be honest, I wouldn't trust a guy who's been to jail 10 times. Ans since birds of a feather flock together, I wouldn't trust his friend either. And you ... (read in full...)
I've really offended my friend help what can I do ?
Q. advice please. i think ive really offended my friend. we went for lunch yesterday and she was going on about some baby toy for her 5 month old for a while and i went into the shop to look for it to buy for her and was quite tired yesterda...
A. 21 October 2010: You know, you can only say 'sorry' so much before it becomes someone else's problem that they're not forgiving. You've said sorry, you bought her the gift and emailed her an apology. That's as far as it needs to go. She's supposed to be your friend, ... (read in full...)
I'm going to lose everything because of my stepmum... what can I do?
Q. hi am a 14 year old boy, I am so feed up with my life since my mum and dad broke up 9 years ago, i had been through the most terrible days of my life then last year ive moved with my dad and his wife meaning a step mum, bearing in mind that I am ...
A. 20 October 2010: Talk to your Dad. If he can't see what she's going, then he's not that great. She can't send you back. And don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. She sounds like a vindictive cow.
Get some of this stuff on tape if you can. See if you can reco... (read in full...)
I hate him!!! How do I get even?
Q. I was with my boyfriend for 6 months and in that 6 months i got pregnant but i got so sick and was in hospital for a month and a half. i lost the baby. few months later, out of the blue he breaks up with me over facebook.. for someone else. 2 weeks ...
A. 20 October 2010: I don't think there is any way of hurting a man who accused you of being responsible for a miscarriage. He's so off in his own world it's unbelievable. And even if there was a way, I'd never say get revenge or hurt him, because you wind up the one ... (read in full...)
He thinks I'm cheating on him and is losing interest in me... but I'm not!!! Help!
Q. I need some help.. I have been with my partner for nearly 5 years and have a small child together. Everything was fine until one day he came home and said he had a feeling i was cheating on him (something i would never do) and said his feelings were ...
A. 20 October 2010: Why does he think you cheated? Because unless he has a reason, this could be an indication that he has cheated or has thought about it. Attack if the first form of defence. And I don't see why after 5 years he'd suddenly think you're cheating.... (read in full...)
I cant understand males and their sexuality!!
Q. I have had an unfortunate past of men. Ive dated guys who beat me up then stalked me for months after i left them. I married and had kids with a guy who came out of the closet. And a lot of players. also although im not proud of it but i used to ...
A. 20 October 2010: I've never thought of cheating. To be fair, the opportunity has never presented itself to me, so I won't be able to answer this as well as someone who has cheated. All I can say is that if the opportunity came, that I was a decent enough guy not to ... (read in full...)
Irrational feelings about him cheating on me...
Q. I cheated on my husband of 8 years with a married man at work. When I met the other man there was an instant spark but nothing came about until 4 years later. I was open and honest with my husband from the beginning. My husband knew I have been ...
A. 20 October 2010: This is what happens when relationships start from affairs. Because of course, if you were both willing to cheat before, then you are both more than capable of doing it again. So there is the possibility that he will do it. There is also the ... (read in full...)
He's texting me but screwing someone else!
Q. I'm really annoyed cos i like this guy and we text each other every night, we seemed to get on well but i found out that he's screwing another girl. do guys do that... text other girls while sleeping with another one? Is he a pig? Should i w...
A. 20 October 2010: Decent guys don't. And guys playing hard to get also don't act this way. The guy you're texting is as you thought - a pig. And you can take that from another guy. There is no way I'd treat a woman like this, and no way any other decent guy would. ... (read in full...)
Help! Should I go out with him even though other people would take the mick?
Q. He is ugly and fat. I really like him though, Should I go out with him even though other people would take the mick? I know he likes me and has tried to kiss me before....
A. 20 October 2010: No. If you're worried about what other people think, and if you're thinking that he's ugly and fat, then he's not the guy for you and you'll both end up hurt. ... (read in full...)
I diverted my phone as I was upset at him but it resulted to more trouble
Q. I want to get this off my chest. Let's call him Robert. To make my story short, he was my friend online and he was in a relationship with a girl during that time. I really had no plans to meet him but he surprised me one day when he followed me t...
A. 20 October 2010: There are too many red flags. And now you've said that he quickly changed from one girl to another, then you, and also that he seems to have this thing about girls always saying yes, I'm just not sure you should be with him.
The biggest thing for ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if my doctor likes me?
Q. I've been seeing an Osteopath for chronic illness, we're both single but his office is filled with groupies and he seems really popular with women. He's very attentive to me and his hands are ALL OVER me, that's osteopathy (but how is it not er...
A. 20 October 2010: It's illegal, and he can lose his job should anything happen between you. So it's best not to ask this question, or that will be the end of him. ... (read in full...)
BF wants a Prenup...
Q. Before I got into a relationship with my current bf, he told me that if he ever ends up with someone, he would ask for a prenup. He told me he did not want the relationship to be based on money, and that he does not have a lot himself and that tons ...
A. 20 October 2010: In these days of 40% divorce rates, Pre-nups are now becoming the precedent in marriage, and often for good reason. Only today here in Britain a woman's £100 million inheritance was protected by her pre-nup. Her money grubbing ex husband was ... (read in full...)
I diverted my phone as I was upset at him but it resulted to more trouble
Q. I want to get this off my chest. Let's call him Robert. To make my story short, he was my friend online and he was in a relationship with a girl during that time. I really had no plans to meet him but he surprised me one day when he followed me t...
A. 17 October 2010: There is something very wrong with this guy, Very wrong, and I don't like it. Here's why.
- He had numerous girls on the go that he was meeting while he had a girlfriend. So he was basically cheating. That proves he is untrustworthy.
- He claim... (read in full...)
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