| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Do these guys like my girlfriend?
Q. hello again i already know my gf has many male friends but i just want to know the signs if they like her or not cuz i already feel uncomfortable with her knowing so many guys...
A. 1 November 2010: Realistically, if a girl allows herself to be manipulated against you by another guy, then maybe she's not all that great. ... (read in full...)
Should I give up on my dream career and play to my strengths at University?
Q. So this is not a relationship question but more of a life crisis. Im in my third year at a very prestigious university. Im planning on going to medical school after I graduate. The problem is Im struggling in my organic chemistry class. I feel so ...
A. 1 November 2010: I'm just a bit older than you, and when I was 18 I made the mistake of not following my dream, and instead I 'played to my strengths' and did everything other people told me to. Here I am five years later and I'm unemployed because the work I ... (read in full...)
My fiance has been cheating for the last 3 years! What do I do?
Q. Please help! I have been with my fiance for over 7 yrs and just found out he has been cheating on and off for the past 3 yrs! I am scared to be alone and would take a huge financial hit if we separate as we own businesses and real estate together. ...
A. 1 November 2010: You'd have to be insane to stay with a guy just for money, while he's cheated on you for three years. I appreciate that it would be a hit, and that you're afraid of being alone, but this relationship is a lie, and everything about it is a lie.
Y... (read in full...)
Do these guys like my girlfriend?
Q. hello again i already know my gf has many male friends but i just want to know the signs if they like her or not cuz i already feel uncomfortable with her knowing so many guys...
A. 1 November 2010: Then you need to decide whether you can trust her or not, and either stay with her or break up. But you can't ask her to give up her friends. You can't control that. Either she is a girl you trust and can be with, or she someone you need to let go. ... (read in full...)
How can I break his heart in a nice way?
Q. Hey guys im kind of new at this thing but i really need an outside perspective. I am a 16 year girl who's in love with a 22yr guy. We met online, never met, but we've been talking for 3 months +. Obviously he doesn't know my real age, he thinks I'm ...
A. 1 November 2010: You can't do that. You just have to break it quickly and get it over and done with. Take him to a public place, explain that he's a lovely guy, but explain that you're not the girl for him and move on from him. Then block contact. ... (read in full...)
Do I stay with my husband or live with my lover of 8 years?
Q. To stay with the man I have been married to for 35 years or to move in with the lover of 8 years. Neither relationship is brilliant but the clock is ticking. Why am I so unsatisfied with my life?...
A. 31 October 2010: You're unsatisfied because rather than take responsibility for your own happiness, you seem to be leaving it in the hands of different men. You're not happy with your husband, and you're not really happy with your lover. You need to make a break ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to think of a way to get really good revenge on my ex
Q. I hate my ex girlfriend. And I can't stop thinking about getting revenge on her. First I will give you some background on the situation. My girlfriend and I dated for 3 years. The last year we lived together. When we didn't live together I thought ...
A. 31 October 2010: Don;t bother with revenge unless you want to have a court order slapped on you and want to lose that new job of yours. Revenge simply is a waste of time. She'll get hers one day, don't you worry. But it's better to let go. You don't want the police ... (read in full...)
She left me, now wants to come back, but her facebook says she in a relationship with someone else!
Q. what to do when your girlfriend of two years leaves? her only excuses she keeps telling me is that i am controlling. we was talking she told me if i love her i would bring her stuff to her so we could start working on things. any way that has been ...
A. 31 October 2010: This is bull. You're being played by her. It's not you who are controlling. It's her. Look at what happened. After 2 years, she suddenly dumped you and her excuse was that you were controlling. She never talked about this before, she never came to ... (read in full...)
If you make a mistake do you own up to it?
Q. Hey just a general question. If you make a genuine mistake, and then lie about it, would you say you was bad person? What if you wouldn't get found out, but your conscience preys on you? Would you finally own up, even though you know people woul...
A. 31 October 2010: It really does depend on what you did. It also depends why you'd want to own up. If you're wanting to own up because you want to rid yourself of the guilt, than that's wrong. If you want to own up because you really want to be honest and set things ... (read in full...)
Is he pulling my leg here?
Q. i've been working at my job for 3 years, just like 2 years ago this guy started well like 3 months in to him working then we started having sex but he says he didnt want anything serious but is talking about he wants me to be his baby momma number ...
A. 31 October 2010: If he's suggesting that, you need to speak to him carefully again and find out what he wants. He might just be saying all that to make you stay around for sex. He might mean that he really wants to be with you. But you won't know unless you talk to ... (read in full...)
Does he think our relationship won't work?
Q. my boyfriend doesn't call me at all even if i ask him and i am afraid that he doesn't want to get close to me because he doesn't think it will work or does he want it to work IDK i really want to be with him ...
A. 31 October 2010: There really is little point in being with a guy who doesn't bother calling you, even when you ask. You might want to be with him, but maybe he doesn't want to be with you as much.
Please don't set yourself up for a life of settling for less than... (read in full...)
How do I get over the condom business?
Q. i have just started a new relationship with a woman i really fancy and drives me crazy any way last night things got a little steamy to steamy as soon as the word condom got mentioned i went soft and just could not get it hard again i was so ...
A. 31 October 2010: Practise alone at putting one on and such. That's the only real thing I can think of that might help. ... (read in full...)
Do these guys like my girlfriend?
Q. hello again i already know my gf has many male friends but i just want to know the signs if they like her or not cuz i already feel uncomfortable with her knowing so many guys...
A. 31 October 2010: I'm sure there are some guys who do like her. You don't even need to look for signs. The law of attraction pretty much applies here. If she has a few guy friends, then one will like her.
But there is nothing you can do about it, and you can't make... (read in full...)
What did I do and what is he doing?
Q. Okay..this is a long story so just try and keep up. At the end of July this year (2010) I met this guy, M.A.D (Since that's the initals to his first, middle and last name). I met him through a guy that I've known for five years and used to like me ...
A. 31 October 2010: He wanted you for sex and once he'd got it, he decided that was enough. Let's face it, this guy is a major liar, and not that great. Just don't bother with him at all.... (read in full...)
What is a good height for men?
Q. What is a good height for a man?, I'm 5 10 or 5 11, and i'm 25 years old.. i have always wanted to be tall. Sometimes i ask my self whether im tall or short. i never seem to get the right answer.. my dad is well over 6 feet and my brother is 6 or ...
A. 31 October 2010: I have a friend who is about your height. He always got more girls than me, and I'm 6,1 or 6,2. I honestly wouldn't worry about it. Some women find very tall guys quite intimidating anyway. ... (read in full...)
My married man won't respond
Q. Happy Halloween everyone. Well i have a new problem,I know the answer that everyone is gonna say but i just want some reassurance on what i need to do. I have talked to my friends and coworkers and they have said what i think i should do. This ...
A. 31 October 2010: I'm afraid when you got mad and said "you've got no balls", you kind of ended whatever it was you had. You said you wanted a break, and he gave you that. A break. You can't then text him and expect a response, and you can't then text him "you've got ... (read in full...)
Do you also believe that how he cheated on me and how I cheated on him is the same?
Q. Me and my husband have been married for a year now! I got pregnant when we had been together for like 8 months and 3 months later we got married. The thing is, when we had just started dating, about a month in the relationship I cheated (had sex) on ...
A. 30 October 2010: Cheating is the same, whatever the reason, however long, however meaningful, whoever the person is. It's cheating, and it's lousy.
Some would say that you cheating with an ex was worse, since it meant your current boyfriend wasn't good enough, and ... (read in full...)
Should I text again or just leave it?
Q. I met a girl yesterday through a mutual friend and I like her, am quite sure she was flirting with me but not 100%. I thought things were going well but now she hasnt text back, is she just playing 'hard to get'? I've texted her twice and she hasn't ...
A. 30 October 2010: You've texted her twice and nothing come through. Give it three days, then text her again. If you don't get anything after that, then she's not worth it and it would be better to move on. ... (read in full...)
Am I being taken for granted or am I just seeking for too much?
Q. My fiance who I have been for with 7 years is a nice guy but I do not know if he really cares about me. He has forgotten by birthday twice, does not buy me things unless I ask and never comments to me about looking pretty or anything. Even my ...
A. 30 October 2010: Forgetting a birthday twice isn't exactly a great sign. Plus he never gives you that much, and as you say the ring comes across as cheap.
However, though it does seem somewhat callous, there might be reasons for it. Maybe in his household they didn... (read in full...)
He calls me horrible names
Q. hey guys im kind of new at this thing but i really need an outside perspective. me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year and half now. when he gets mad at me he calls me some horrible names ex:lard ass,bitch,exc.. and it makes me ...
A. 30 October 2010: Why do you want to spend your life with a guy who only puts you down? That's like sleeping with a crocodile. A man who sits there treating you like this doesn't respect you, love you or care about you. So why stay with someone who doesn't care? Why ... (read in full...)
My husband wont talk to me. Every time we have words he will stop speaking to me for months.
Q. My husband wont talk to me. Every time we have words he will stop speaking to me for months. He comes in from work and goes straight upstairs, makes his own tea, cleans his own plates etc. When i try an talk to his he just swears at me. Theres a lot ...
A. 30 October 2010: There comes a point where you need to STOP. And this is the time. This marriage is truly beyond repair. I know you want it fixed, but realistically it's already over. He wants a divorce, he doesn't speak to you with anything other than swear words, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was naked with his cousin in our bed!!!
Q. Me and my bf have been with each other for 8 months. we asked his cousins to come play cards and they did. we all got totally wasted on vodka and beer and they were takinh pills. well i passed out in the next room and i woke up wondering were my bf ...
A. 30 October 2010: He did cheat on you. You found them naked in bed together, and he was holding her. They did it, and their lies are enough that you should dump them both from your life. Of course they remember. That's why there were naked there holding each other. ... (read in full...)
Did I deserve this treatment?
Q. I have to admit that Im fuming at the moment. I broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half because of many reasons, but a few of them is his anger-issues and that he could never give me what I needed. So, I want it settled once and for all, if ...
A. 30 October 2010: Of course you didn't deserve it. But then that's why he chose you and treated you the way you did. He knew that you'd sit there and take it, rather then pull the rug from under him. I'd just get away from this guy. ... (read in full...)
My best friend has broken up with him and I would love to be with him... help!
Q. hi there I like this boy, i mean i really like him and we are good friends but my best friend was actually going out with him and i felt guilty about liking him . . but my best friend knew that i liked him and she said she was ok about it but i kn...
A. 30 October 2010: I don't think it's a good idea. Whilst they have ended it, you would probably lose her for the sake of this guy. Friends are rarely okay with their best friends going out with ex's. It just leads to heartache. If I were you, I'd stay friends with ... (read in full...)
We are both married - do his 'friendly' kisses mean anything?
Q. I am a married 40 year old woman. I am attracted to a male married friend whose wife is also my friend. Our famlies are very close and we all meet up regularly. I have never let this man know about my feelings and have never acted on them. We have ...
A. 30 October 2010: Not all men just pursue women for sexual desire. But a man who is pursuing you with a few kisses, and who is also married really isn't making the cut. If a man is interested you for more than just sex, he'll date you, take time to know you and let ... (read in full...)
We are both married - do his 'friendly' kisses mean anything?
Q. I am a married 40 year old woman. I am attracted to a male married friend whose wife is also my friend. Our famlies are very close and we all meet up regularly. I have never let this man know about my feelings and have never acted on them. We have ...
A. 30 October 2010: Yes, No Watered Down, he just wants sex. Sorry I missed your post. ... (read in full...)
He doesn't talk to me!
Q. Dear Cupid my boyfriend at doesn't talk to me at school does he still love me...
A. 30 October 2010: It may not be a case of love. I suspect that he's too immature and young to really understand what he's up to. He shouldn't feel the need not to talk to you in school. If he's feeling that, then he's most likely embarrassed in front of his friends ... (read in full...)
Should I confide in my b/f about my disabled sister or will he run?
Q. Hi, I'd love some advice about whether I should talk to my new bf about a worry I have about my family. We've been together 2 months, and I feel so happy with him. He says he feels the same around me, and we've just been spending plenty of time ...
A. 30 October 2010: I think you do need to tell him. This isn't something that's small. This is big. And he needs to know. Basically, he needs to know because you're taking on such a commitment that there are times you won't be there for him, there will be times you ... (read in full...)
Crushing on the guy I work with, should I approach him?
Q. Help, should I approach him. I have a huge crush on this guy I work with we are both in our early 20’s we work at a huge firm so I don’t even know his name; all I know is he stares at me all the time. I have caught his girl and guy buds staring at ...
A. 30 October 2010: If he's single, talk to him. That's all that seems to be holding this back. He could be very shy, and it's very difficult to ask a girl out when your friends are on your back about it. Try talking to him when he's alone and see what he says.... (read in full...)
Condom came off inside me, am I still at risk for an STD?
Q. am i at risk for a std if the condom came off inside of me? but we didnt notice but he found the condom inside me within 3minutes , but we continued sex with a new condom. am i still at risk for std?...
A. 30 October 2010: There is a chance, of course. If you're worried at all, get yourself tested and explained what happened. None of us will be able to give you a definitive yes or no. So if you're worried, get tested. ... (read in full...)
He says he will call me right back and does not...smh...why do men do that?
Q. Why does he sometimes say "stay by the phone, imma call you right back," and does not??? I admit it is annoying. What should I do in that situation?...
A. 30 October 2010: Remind him that he said he would call. And not all men do it. Just some. ... (read in full...)
All I want is one good time together with this married man
Q. there is a man who works at my school who is a good bit older than me but I can honestly say I dont think ive ever wanted to sleep with someone more. I know he is attracted to me but he is married. I just need to know how to tell him. i barely see ...
A. 30 October 2010: The moment you sleep with him, you'll feel worse. That's the way the human mind works. You don't want less of a good thing once you've had it. You'll want more.
There is no way that this could work out. For several reasons.
The first is that bec... (read in full...)
We are both married - do his 'friendly' kisses mean anything?
Q. I am a married 40 year old woman. I am attracted to a male married friend whose wife is also my friend. Our famlies are very close and we all meet up regularly. I have never let this man know about my feelings and have never acted on them. We have ...
A. 30 October 2010: Sorry, I've just realized that in 18 posts we've not given an answer to your actual questions.
The kisses most likely signify that he knows you're in a vulnerable place with your marriage, and perhaps he's looking at you sexually. But that's it. ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of faking that I'm ok when I'm not!
Q. So, lately i've been having low-self esteem issues, anxiety, and paranoia. I'm 15 and had a crush on a guy friend, I was so sure he liked me but we went to a downtown area with a group of friends and my other friend set him up with this girl. Af...
A. 30 October 2010: I think that you need help from someone, maybe a counsellor, certainly a parent or teacher or someone you can just talk to. It sounds to me like you're falling into depression, and you need to get all these feelings out before they overwhelm you.
U... (read in full...)
He acts like he hates me and I don't want to keep begging him
Q. Hi,my boyfriend broke up with me about two weeks ago after an 8 month relationship. He said it was better for both of us. Lately we've been having lots of arguments and he has anger management issues.At the beginning of this month, he slapped me ...
A. 30 October 2010: You need to walk away from him. Somewhere in his head, he has something wrong with him, and he needs to deal with that alone. What he's done is classic abusive behaviour, and perhaps that has spurred him to leave. We'll never know. But what we do ... (read in full...)
My husband is rubbing his affairs in my face!
Q. I have been reading your colume for awhile and i felt it was time to reach out to someone. iv been married for 24 years my husband 2 years ago took out a young girl out for valintines night.for the past 2 years their has been 2 different women call ...
A. 29 October 2010: Leave. That's the best option, and I think you know it deep down. We had a woman on this site earlier asking why men treat women like slaves. Not all men do, but your husband is nearly there. There is no way at all that you can make this marriage ... (read in full...)
Will he be more likely to contact me if I stop trying to contact him?
Q. I have broken up with my boyfriend,2 weeks ago.He hasn't contacted me although i did email him and text him but no response.Does the "No Contact" rule actually works? I read on a website that if you want your lover back then he has to miss you 1st ...
A. 29 October 2010: I think the best thing to do here is end it. You were having problems and split up, then got back together. Then there were more problems and you split up again, this time with him saying he just couldn't cope with the arguments.
All that coul... (read in full...)
Will he be more likely to contact me if I stop trying to contact him?
Q. I have broken up with my boyfriend,2 weeks ago.He hasn't contacted me although i did email him and text him but no response.Does the "No Contact" rule actually works? I read on a website that if you want your lover back then he has to miss you 1st ...
A. 29 October 2010: If you broke up with him, hoping he would come back, then you played the wrong game.
If he broke with you, then he's not interested.
Before we can offer you any advice, we need to know who dumped who and why?... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a married man to get his mistress pregnant on purpose?
Q. I want to know how married men perceive on this matter. Is it possible for a married man to make their mistress or other woman get pregnant intentionally? Like he wants her to get pregnant?...
A. 29 October 2010: Yes. It's possible. But very unlikely. Most of the time, a mistress is all about the sex and nothing else. The fact that a married man gets his mistress pregnant is probably more of a sign that he doesn't give a damn about protection, and has little ... (read in full...)
Do guys check out other girls to make their girlfriend mad?
Q. Im have a question that id love peoples input on. Do guys check out other girls in front of their girlfriends knowing that it makes the girlfriend mad and do they do it for that reason? Or do they really not notice. Every guy ive been serious with ...
A. 29 October 2010: The truth is most guys do it because that's the way we are. Women do it too, but they're either more subtle about it, or they're kidding themselves.
It's not about 'reversing the feeling'. It's about making it clear that you don't want him look... (read in full...)
How long should I wait for my boyfriend to propose?
Q. How long should I wait for my boyfriend to propose? Without giving him any kind of specific time limit, or making it too obvious that I'm waiting? It would be preferable if he did it on his own. But how long is too long to wait?...
A. 29 October 2010: At 18/21 years old, you'll be waiting a while. You're both young, and young people who get married to soon more often break up young as well. It's about waiting until you are BOTH ready for marriage, both set up in life. If you were in your mid to ... (read in full...)
Do guys like red heads for anything more than sex?
Q. I have naturally long, dark red hair and have never really liked it. Guys seem to like it, and i've been told it's "hot". I'm thinking about dying it dark brown, but i'm not sure whether to or not. Sometimes i think guys are just interested or ...
A. 29 October 2010: My girlfriend is a red head, and I really do love her. My ex was a red head, and I loved her, and in fact most of the girls I've ever really liked/fancied have been red heads. So yes, we want red heads for more than just sex. You've just got to pick ... (read in full...)
We are both married - do his 'friendly' kisses mean anything?
Q. I am a married 40 year old woman. I am attracted to a male married friend whose wife is also my friend. Our famlies are very close and we all meet up regularly. I have never let this man know about my feelings and have never acted on them. We have ...
A. 29 October 2010: It's not about moving on. This is about going home to your marriage and either ending it, or fixing it.
The kisses might mean something. but married men are notorious at taking on a mistress only for the sex, and nothing else. So chances are they... (read in full...)
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