A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hello. There's this guy i work with that i'm really good friends with (or so i thought). We often catch up at lunch or grab a quick coffee during the week a couple of times. This new woman started last month, and she often confides in me. She tells me that this guy talks to her daily and he's having some pretty major problems which i now know about through her (he obviously doesn't know she's been telling me), and he told her hes got no friends at work and hes lonely. I feel pretty annoyed that after a decade of working together he's snubbing our friendship to this woman, especially as when she first started she told me she had been told bad things about him and didn't know what to make of him, and i told her i only consider a few people at work friends, and he's one of them. He hasn't confided any of his problems in me which she told me about a couple of days ago. Since then i have acted a bit funny with him. He asked if he's done something wrong and i said no, and he asked if im ok cos i dont seem it. I said i'm fine theres nothing wrong with me. He said hes not convinced and if i need to chat about anything wrong at home or anything he's there for me. I thought why would i want to talk to you when you've not been sharing your problems with me! I feel so annoyed. I feel like saying to him about saying to her he's got no friends at work and what am i?! but i don't want to break her confidence. Am i right to feel annoyed at him? And should i still act funny with him or just forget about it and go back to normal? Or should i tell him i heard something and it's left me feeling a little insulted but i can't say what it is???
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 October 2010):
To be honest, I think this is an attempt by him to get her into bed. I think he fancies her and is playing the 'old soldier' act on her. It's all such a fix - the 'loneliness', the 'lack of friends', and 'major problems'.
I don't think it's really anything to worry about from your perspective. She has more to worry about, since he's after her. This is his way of trying to make her fall for him. I think as a friend he is there for you, and I think he does see you as a friend. But all those stories are lies basically.
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