| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Whats going on in his head?
Q. I need help im seeing this guy that i thought i liked untill he gave me mixed signals...one day hes showing affection towards me and always looks at me when talking and then the next day he has no interest in me only glances when i ask a ...
A. 4 November 2010: I'd bet that he's confused as well. The problem here is that rather than one of you just coming out and saying what you're feeling, you're both relying on all these hints and such. He may be as confused as you are. So, the time has come for you to ... (read in full...)
He called me fat!!!!
Q. So me and my boyfriend have been going out for a really long time now, he tells me he loves me, he's always there for me and we both feel that we're practically perfect for each other, we've been friends ever since we were 4 years old but as years ...
A. 4 November 2010: I think this boyfriend of yours made a decision. He chose to call you fat, then along with his friends chose to desert you. Sit down by yourself and think very carefully as to whether you can be bothered with him, because this is something that will ... (read in full...)
Is this just my negativity from being cheated on in the past? Is this a normal rate relationships go at? Or is he playing me?
Q. Hi All I am 29 and have been seeing a 20 year old man for 3 months. The problem is when we are together he is so lovely, and tells me how much he likes me and I am amazing etc. However, although he texts me every day the relationship just ...
A. 4 November 2010: I think you should try and talk to him. You're naturally and understandably worried about his behaviour because you've been cheated on. Talk to him. Explain that you've been through a lot of pain, and just need some reassurance. If he does care, you ... (read in full...)
I think I am not "in love" with my boyfriend of 8 years anymore, and now an old crush is back on the scene I don't know what to do!
Q. I am in a relationship which I been in for 8 years, I love him but not sure if I'm in love with him. I have recently been in contact with a old crush and the past 2 weeks we got close, my heart telling me to be with him but I don't know please help ...
A. 4 November 2010: I think it would be a bit of a tragedy if you threw away 8 years for some crush who happened to come back on the scene. What you are feeling now is the original recipe for disaster. You're feeling a bit tied down, a bit bored, and perhaps the ... (read in full...)
End relationship or keep trying?
Q. I am late 40's and have been involved with a man for 4 years...a comitted relationship, but we are not engaged and do not live together. We each have 2 children...older teenagers. The beginning of our relationship was great, expected to marry this ...
A. 4 November 2010: I think perhaps the time has come to decide whether you can be in this relationship any longer. You've tried talking to him about it, and he's done nothing. In four years, there has been no real sign of marriage or permanency. Your family are kind ... (read in full...)
Is wrong to have a boyfriend but to practice sex with a friend to get ready for boyfriend?
Q. I have a boyfriend now but one of my guy friends wants to be friends with benefits. I don't want to cheat on my boyfriend but is it wrong to have a friend with benefits to practice for my boyfriend?...
A. 4 November 2010: Let me ask you this. What do you think your boyfriend would do if he found out you were having underage sex with your friend?... (read in full...)
Ex and I split up 3 years ago but we still have sex every week even though he's with someone else
Q. My ex and I have been spilt for 3 years +...he has a new gf that they have a child together ....they do not get along that well at all but he won't leave her because of the child, or some other reason. we sleep together every week and the sex is ...
A. 4 November 2010: I wish sometimes that women wouldn't try to psychoanalyse men so much. I wish sometimes that they would instead look at the facts before them. Women are deeper creatures. You speak in hints, your actions are hints. With men, it's pretty much all ... (read in full...)
What do guys prefer down there?
Q. My bf of 2 years prefers larger labias, and luckily for him I have one. But personally, I HATE it. Guys opinions please, what do you prefer, should I be worried about if I ever have to enter another serious realtionship? I worry about what someone ...
A. 4 November 2010: I think a lot of women really worry about things like this. The reality is that most men don't even care. We have ideas about what we like, but I have to say I've never met a man who is worried about the size of a woman's labia. There have been a ... (read in full...)
I he trying to use me, or do he really want to make our marriage work!
Q. Me and my husband separated about two months ago. During that time he's been in a relationship with this young 18 year old. he moved in with her n her brother. He contacted me telling me he want to make our marriage work he said he loved and miss ...
A. 4 November 2010: I think he is trying to use you. I don't see how a man who cheats, moves in with another woman and won't move out again is trying to fix the marriage. Worse still he tried to have sex with you.
This is the behaviour of a man who is trying to use ... (read in full...)
He high fived me after sex and now is ignoring me at work
Q. Hi, Met guy really liked him his way younger then me though! We met through work.he liked me for bout 4 weeks, kept catching him major staring. Then I got speaking to him, through msn! I researched through friends who he was, as saw him in the same...
A. 4 November 2010: I'm 23, and can't say I've ever high fived my girlfriend, who is just a bit older than you (35). But then I'm not really immature, and I actually care about my girlfriend.
I suspect that this young guy reeled you in and used you. I don't think he e... (read in full...)
Online guy won't talk to me when he's at home. Why is that?
Q. I met this guy through a dating site and we have been chatting online for about 3 months now. We chat almost everyday. He always leaves me offline messages like, 'Hi, beautiful. How's ur day? I miss u.' We see each other on cam often. He says he ...
A. 4 November 2010: I also think it's suspicious. But grilling him won't work, since he's already claimed to you that he has no girlfriend or wife. I'd have thought that if he was busy with work, the only place he could have contacted you would be from home. Companies ... (read in full...)
I lied about my identity for 2 years and now he wants nothing to do with me!
Q. Okay so here's the thing I was stupid and lied about my identity on facebook..while I did that I met this guy, I didn't tell him the truth and I fell for him..he said he loved me he loved my personality and all... Well 2 years later I told him the ...
A. 3 November 2010: Two years is a very long time to lie about something that's really very important. His shock is understandable. Apart from anything else, you're under-age. And, it wasn't really you who he fell for. It was your alias, and that's how he will always ... (read in full...)
I snooped through my husband's phone and now he is distant!
Q. A fleeting moment of insecurity had me snoop through my husband's phone while he was in the shower. Now he is distant. What's my next move? I'm 95% of the time very confident but I get these fleeting moments of insecurity from time to time. I ...
A. 3 November 2010: Apologize, then just give him a few days to come around. That's all you can do on that.
As for the trust issues, it's clear that you need to attend to those one way or another. Whether that's through counselling, or just watching your beha... (read in full...)
In love with a married man and he wants to marry me too!
Q. I am in so much pain because I don’t know what to do or who to talk to. I met this man over eight years ago and we have been best of friends ever since. When I said best of friends I mean there is nothing about me or him we do not tell each other, ...
A. 3 November 2010: Why has he not filed for divorce? Why has he done nothing to take this further rather then just cheat on his wife? Sounds to me like he's a man who's just getting what he wants and doing as he sees fit. Unless he leaves his wife, files for divorce ... (read in full...)
Penis enlargement medications?
Q. I know there are many adverts on the internet for penis enlargement schemes and medications but I would be grateful to know if any of the readers has tried any of these and found it effective and true to its advertisement? thanks. ...
A. 3 November 2010: Waste of time, my man. I've never heard of any treatment working before. ... (read in full...)
Should I let him go, or hope that I will fall in love with him eventually?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for sometime now, for about a year. He's in love an I'm not. He want to be a family with me an my kids honestly I could care less. Do I need to just let go or keep hoping to fall in love with him. ...
A. 3 November 2010: If you've been seeing him for a year and you're feeling this way, then it's time to end it and both move on. I think you might just be with him because it's convenient, rather than because you love him. Let him go, and find a guy who does make you ... (read in full...)
Do men feel the pain of a breakup?
Q. Confused and hurting... It's only been two weeks but the pain of my bf breaking up with me seems greater now than it was that nite he said we're breaking up. Why? Can anyone explain it to me, it seems I cry over any little thing that reminds me of ...
A. 3 November 2010: I'm afraid when someone comes to ending things, they are usually past the pain stage of the relationship. Your ex probably had to do a lot of soul searching before he ended it. That's when he felt his pain. Usually the person doing the dumping feels ... (read in full...)
Does getting in a rebound relationship work?
Q. I want to get over my ex and want to know does the rebound actually work?...
A. 3 November 2010: Not at all. Instead, you take an innocent person into your life, use them and hurt them. And you still won't be over your ex. You want to get over your ex, then it's something you have to do yourself. Don't drag some poor girl into it. ... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend but he is smothering me
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for about 3 years, our whole relationship has been messy. I am 23 years old ( mature for age) and he is 33. Previously been married and has a child with her, she is 9. We meet at work and he cheated on his ...
A. 3 November 2010: I'll tell you what's happened. You two got together because he cheated. And, like a of couples that got together through cheating, or affairs, you never totally got to know each other. And now that lack of knowledge is coming out.
He was will... (read in full...)
Hes got a girlfriend but calls me nicknames, does he like me?
Q. okay so i kinda like this guy and stuff we are sort of like aquantinces whenerver he passes by me he calls me my nickname and its really cute when he call me that and i really like him to bad he has a girlfriend how can i tell if he...
A. 3 November 2010: He's already got a girlfriend, so unless he's untrustworthy, he won't fancy you. I'd not look for signs, and move on from him.... (read in full...)
Right as things start to get serious, she cuts things off
Q. My ex girlfriend, keeps cutting our relationship off after a few months. She usually makes up some blatant excuse that make no sense. I used to assume she was just using me as a security blanket but now that she has came crawling back wanting to ...
A. 3 November 2010: Come on man! Four times this woman has screwed you around. How many more? I know it's hard to move on from someone you care about, but there is a point where you have to stop. You're at that point here and now. She's treating you like a damn ... (read in full...)
Cheating and his wife found out, do I let him go now?
Q. Hi, I am married and have been having an affair with a married man for the past year. No it's not about sex (although there is intense chemistry between us) as we have only been intimate three times during that time, with the first time taking place ...
A. 3 November 2010: I can tell you what will happen, more from a child's perspective than anything else.
My parents haven't cheated on each other as far as I know, though I know my father came very close. But then my father was never that good anyway. Just to know... (read in full...)
I've been waiting for him for 5 years but found out he had remarried while I was waiting!
Q. I have been dating this man for a total of 5 yrs, I met him while he was in the process of divorcing and we have been together ever since. This june I called his cell phone and a woman answered and I asked for him and she told me he was sleeping and ...
A. 3 November 2010: Wow. This is one of the worst things I've heard a man doing yet. This is appalling! The guy kept you waiting for 5 years, no doubt cheated during that time on whoever, and remarried during this time without telling you!
I hate to tell you this... (read in full...)
He saved me and now he's gone
Q. Last fall my beloved family member passed away, I was in shock and was completely devastated. I had a very casual guy friend at college who i never thought about dating, in fact i had never dated anyone and neither did he, but in my moments of ...
A. 3 November 2010: This is a sad situation, and I am sorry that everything turned out this way.
At this time, I think it's best just to leave him to get on with his own life. I think the best thing you can do is write him one letter, explaining that you are sorr... (read in full...)
Is there really such a thing as fate?
Q. do you think fate is real? Like If two people love eachother do you think fate will bring them back together after they stop talking...
A. 2 November 2010: I don't believe in fate. You make decisions yourself, and by making those decisions you map out your own life.
Dirtball - It was Terminator. ... (read in full...)
Website to bash and humiliate my husband's other woman???
Q. I would like to know if anyone knows of a website were I can upload a picture of a woman that likes to sleep with married men and get pregnant. knowing that the men are married. I would like to bash her and humiliate her for what she has done to ...
A. 2 November 2010: Not a good idea. A woman did that recently. There was a police investigation, and the betrayed wife was arrested, and then sued for slander. Worse, she lost the case. So the 'other' woman won a lot of money. Don't do anything to her. Look at your ... (read in full...)
Why does his erect penis go down and not up?
Q. Right I'm a twenty year old girl and I've just found my third sexual partner... He's different from the others in the way that when he's hard his penis goes downward instead of up... I know he's hard but... Does this mean he's not that attracted to ...
A. 1 November 2010: Every man's penis is different. I don't think there's anything wrong with him at all. It certainly doesn't mean he's not attracted to you, because he is. ... (read in full...)
B/f wants me to call myself a "dirty slag" during sex
Q. What does my fella mean when he asks me to call myself a "dirty slag" when having sex? - Is it a disrespectful phrase or is he just getting off on it as a weird kind of sex speak? should I be offended or not?...
A. 1 November 2010: He's just getting off, there's nothing else in it. But if you don't want to do it, don't. You don't need to do anything you don't want to.... (read in full...)
I want to fight to get him back but he has cut off all contact with me, and my friends don't seem to understand!
Q. I am still very much in love with my boyfriend who broke up with me 3 months ago... I cant get over him at all, and my friends dont seem to understand they slag him off all the time when i bring him up and try and talk to them about my feelings.. ...
A. 1 November 2010: It's well and truly over. And your friends being happy about it shows how crap he really was. They may not know how you're feeling, but that's a good thing, because it means they're being honest about all this, rather than playing blind to the ... (read in full...)
His ex wife has not told anyone they have split up, and he is allowing this! What should I do?
Q. Need advice. I'll try to keep this as simple as I can, but it is complicated. I'm separated for over a year and a half. I have been dating a man for the past 13 months who has been separated for the past 7 months. Yes, that means he was married ...
A. 1 November 2010: More than anything, that's what needs to be sorted out. Her not telling her own family is her problem. But your boyfriend needs to be sorting this out. you don't want to find out that he was kicked out and is hoping to go back to her or something. ... (read in full...)
Do I tell her that her boyfriend slept with me?
Q. I'm in fairly tricky situation at the moment. For the past year and a half me and this guy had a serious thing going on. Anywho, we broke things off, and he got himself a girlfriend, whilst I stayed single. A few months after, he randomly co...
A. 1 November 2010: And what if you do? Do you think she will suddenly turn around and thank you? Do you think she will dump him and then all will be right? None of that will work.
Humans are funny creatures when it comes to blame. We tend to blame the wrong pers... (read in full...)
His ex wife has not told anyone they have split up, and he is allowing this! What should I do?
Q. Need advice. I'll try to keep this as simple as I can, but it is complicated. I'm separated for over a year and a half. I have been dating a man for the past 13 months who has been separated for the past 7 months. Yes, that means he was married ...
A. 1 November 2010: It's not his job to tell her family. It's her job. It's just his job to get the papers signed and to divorce her. Don't look to force him into something that he has nothing to do with. It is not his job to tell her parents or her friends. It's her ... (read in full...)
For the men: Do you count on your wives to look after the house and kids, or do you take charge and help out around the house?
Q. i want to know how many guys out there who work full time are married and have kids. when you get home from work do you spend time with your kids, help with housework, dissapear and do your own thing? i dont mean to sound rude but im just curious ...
A. 1 November 2010: It's not as clear cut as that. There are a lot of men who do help out. I don't live with my girlfriend, but when I see her, I'll help out. Not that I get recognition. And perhaps that;s the point. What exactly are you looking for? Are you looking ... (read in full...)
Does the fact that he has difficulty feeling love and empathy mean he's a narcissist?
Q. Does the fact that he has difficulty feeling love and empathy mean he's a narcissist? He has admitted to me that he doesn't love easily. He has had several relationships before me (one that lasted 2 years!) and claims that he never loved his prev...
A. 1 November 2010: He doesn't sound like a narcissist. It sounds to me as if he has major commitment issues, or issues with insecurity, trust and such. But he's not a narcissist based upon what you've written. ... (read in full...)
We are going to see the doctor about this lump on his penis, but I want to be prepared for what he might say. Can anyone help?
Q. This isn't exactly a relationship question, but im hoping someone with a bit more insight then i may be able to help.. My fiance has a single white lump on his penis. He's had it since far before we got together. It doesnt hurt him, it never changes ...
A. 1 November 2010: There are way too many things that it could be for anyone on here to say anything. It could even be a birth mark for all we know. All you can do is hope. ... (read in full...)
How do I make her want me?
Q. i'm doing an open long distance relationship with this girl, and i am bi. i really like her but she doesn't seem to like me as much. i haven't talked to her in more than a week because she never replies to my inboxes on facebook even though i know ...
A. 1 November 2010: This won't work. It's not about you playing hard to get. You've already asked for advice and you've not really found any. To be honest, there's little you can do. LDR's are extremely hard to maintain, and it sounds like this girl is checking out of ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend too young for me?
Q. I really need some help i am 27 my boyfriend is 24 is that to young for me....
A. 1 November 2010: Not at all. My girlfriend is older than me. Actually it's a lot of fun. ... (read in full...)
I don't know where I am going wrong in this relationship!
Q. Hi everyone; Been with my ex girlfriend for 5 years and been lived together for the past 2 years. Im 26 and she is 22 so we been together since she was 17 and i was 21. While we been living together she left me 5 times but 4 of them took couple...
A. 1 November 2010: Stop being a doormat! Seriously. This has nothing to do with you. You've done all you can, you've addressed your behaviour, you've tried to work things out. You are not doing anything wrong.
IT'S HER!
She controls you, manipulates you as she sees... (read in full...)
Do these guys like my girlfriend?
Q. hello again i already know my gf has many male friends but i just want to know the signs if they like her or not cuz i already feel uncomfortable with her knowing so many guys...
A. 1 November 2010: Realistically, if a girl allows herself to be manipulated against you by another guy, then maybe she's not all that great. ... (read in full...)
How can I convince her mum that I am good guy?
Q. hello again look i am deeply in love with my gf and all i want to do is be with her but her mom prevents me from seeing her. now my gf and her mom aren't necessarily close my gf doesn't like her mom because of her childish behavior and stub...
A. 1 November 2010: For a start, quit saying that her mother is childish and stubborn. That won't go down well. There is a reason she's acting this way, and it's not out of being childish. If you have insecurities, then deal with them and prove you're worthy of her ... (read in full...)
Should I give up on my dream career and play to my strengths at University?
Q. So this is not a relationship question but more of a life crisis. Im in my third year at a very prestigious university. Im planning on going to medical school after I graduate. The problem is Im struggling in my organic chemistry class. I feel so ...
A. 1 November 2010: I'm just a bit older than you, and when I was 18 I made the mistake of not following my dream, and instead I 'played to my strengths' and did everything other people told me to. Here I am five years later and I'm unemployed because the work I ... (read in full...)
Do these guys like my girlfriend?
Q. hello again i already know my gf has many male friends but i just want to know the signs if they like her or not cuz i already feel uncomfortable with her knowing so many guys...
A. 1 November 2010: Then you need to decide whether you can trust her or not, and either stay with her or break up. But you can't ask her to give up her friends. You can't control that. Either she is a girl you trust and can be with, or she someone you need to let go. ... (read in full...)
Do these guys like my girlfriend?
Q. hello again i already know my gf has many male friends but i just want to know the signs if they like her or not cuz i already feel uncomfortable with her knowing so many guys...
A. 31 October 2010: I'm sure there are some guys who do like her. You don't even need to look for signs. The law of attraction pretty much applies here. If she has a few guy friends, then one will like her.
But there is nothing you can do about it, and you can't make... (read in full...)
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