| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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How can a real girl ever be enough for a man?
Q. How can a real girl ever be enough for a man? I mean, I have talked with many guys my age, and they have all agreed when I asked them whether a porn star has a hotter or better body than a normal girl, they have all said yes! The typical porn star ...
A. 17 October 2010: I think you're going to need to get yourself into counselling to work on your esteem. You're not finding the right answer on this site that you want, and we can only try to convince you so far. I think you're slipping away into depression, and that ... (read in full...)
Am I really the fool they want me to think I am?
Q. I'm feeling pretty crappy these days after 11 years of marriage. Both sides of our family insist on pointing out what a tramp my wife was as a teen and the things she did in bed with her ex HB. He apparently made things known. I knew a lot about my ...
A. 14 October 2010: I don't think you've married the wrong woman. I think that she has a pretty cold family, and I think her ex husband was a shite. I think your wife has changed, and I think she loves you, and I think that's all that matters. She hasn't done anything ... (read in full...)
My parents are putting pressure on me. What do I do?
Q. I had posted about this in a different context earlier. But as days pass on I can't seem to handle this anymore. Please advice. My parents have been with us for a year now for my dad's cancer treatment as they can't do this alone. My mother lack's...
A. 14 October 2010: Your house, your rules or they're out.
Go to the doctor and tell them exactly what has been happening. Make preparations for them to leave, and see that they do. That probably sounds cruel. But I know how awkward old people can be when they want... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is acting weird, after I told him I contacted my hospitalized ex!
Q. my bf of 2 years is acting weird when i talked to my ex bf. my ex bf was not well couple of weeks n was in hospital. so i called him to hear how he was. told my bf abt this, he started acting weird. he said he is not jealous or possesstive, but ...
A. 14 October 2010: The problem with talking to an ex, whatever the reason, is that it causes major problems for a current relationship. Your boyfriend is hurt, and worried. That's why ex's should be left in the past. I think you should you try to speak to your ... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend, despite our rocky relationship, but just can't get Toxic Boy out of my head!
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for 5 years. Overall its been a happy relationship with a few ups and downs. Over the last few months however, I just havent been happy, its probably longer then that if Im being honest. We were just arguing all the time ...
A. 14 October 2010: Forget both men. First of all, your boyfriend is clearly not the one you want. Secondly, this other guy is just using you. So, to forget your boyfriend, remind yourself that you did cheat on him (kissing the other guy), and that you weren't ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to be a guy who doesn't like porn
Q. Ok here is the situation, I am visually turned on by females, and always have been. Thats important because the next part of what im about to say hinges off that fact. Porn as a whole has never done anything for me. I have always been more ...
A. 14 October 2010: I got bored of porn when I got my first girlfriend - porn is just not the same as the real thing. And I just haven't been bothered by it since. So you're not totally unique. I don't like it either, and since I worked in construction, I got teased ... (read in full...)
If he can't have an orgasm, does that mean he's cheating?
Q. I been datn the same guy for over a yr now when we have sex he can never have a oragasim hes 45 and works alot but whay could b the problem why he can never have one does it mean hes cheatn? ...
A. 14 October 2010: No, not at all. Far from it. This could be down to stress, exhaustion, worries, illness etc. There are a lot of other things than cheating that would cause this. Just relax a bit and take a look at his life. Is he stressed? Worried? You might find ... (read in full...)
Married and no sexual chemistry anymore
Q. My husband was very sexual with me in the beginning. He had to have sex at every meeting. After we moved in together his interest dissipated a bit. I'd say we had sex 4 to 5 times a week. After living together for 1 year we were having sex maybe 3 ...
A. 14 October 2010: Men want to be DESIRED too. There's no use in you sitting there not asking him. It takes two people to make a relationship work, and at the moment you're the one letting to team down. This is a huge overreaction on your part I'm afraid. For a few ... (read in full...)
How do I get my parents to back off?
Q. I need some serious help on how to get my parents off my back about my boyfriend. I am 18 almost 19, he is 24. We have been seeing each other since january. We met online (when i met him in person i had my mom come with me in case he was a creeper, ...
A. 14 October 2010: You could show them this post. You never know, that might work.
More likely though, is that you'll just have to be a bit stubborn about it.
First of all, since you're over 18 and I'm assuming that means you're an adult in your state of America,... (read in full...)
Cheating hb treating ME badly!!!
Q. I caught my hb of 6 years cheating on me for the 2nd time... The 1st time was last year in November.. When I caught him he literally begged me to give him a 2nd chance.. And I did for our kids sake....everything was great until about august this ...
A. 14 October 2010: You know the time really has come for you to just divorce him. Your life is going to be utterly miserable with him. He can't offer you a thing. No commitment, no sex, no love, no happiness. Nothing.
You deserve a lot better and you know it. He's... (read in full...)
I think my b/f is just waiting for me to dump him
Q. Hi everyone! I checked my bf on facebook, his status says "i am separated and i am looking for dating" and the other one says " if your gf slap you what can you do?tell me then i wil tell you what i did", since we have been together(3 yrs) i never ...
A. 14 October 2010: Take the initiative and dump him. Then actually find a decent guy rather than a total coward who isn't worth your time. ... (read in full...)
He said that if we break up, it will be because of me.
Q. My boyfriend of more than one year told me that he loves me and that he'll never break up with me. He said that if we break up, it will be because of me. My brain went blank for a few moments when he told me this, so I don't want to re-open this ...
A. 14 October 2010: I think he's a little bit controlling, and a bit immature to suggest that a couple's problems or the reasons they break up are solely based on the other person. This comment is a wake up call. You don't need to split from him over this, but it would ... (read in full...)
How can a real girl ever be enough for a man?
Q. How can a real girl ever be enough for a man? I mean, I have talked with many guys my age, and they have all agreed when I asked them whether a porn star has a hotter or better body than a normal girl, they have all said yes! The typical porn star ...
A. 13 October 2010: I would strongly suggest that you carefully look at the guys you're attracted to, and the guys you hang around with. To have a boyfriend actually say to you that a porn star has a better body than you shows you picked the wrong guy that time. You ... (read in full...)
I don't want them to be together... should I voice my feelings?
Q. hi, My best friend has kissed my ex-boyfriend, whom she knew I had feelings for him still. I'm still friends with my ex, only because he wanted to stay friends with me. I don't want to hurt them both by saying I don't want them to be together...
A. 13 October 2010: You really needed to say something before all this happened. She has rather stabbed you in the back to an extent, but at the same time he is an ex, so you have no claim anymore. Unfortunately, if you say something, she won't listen or care, and ... (read in full...)
My family want me to forgive my dad for sexually abusing me!
Q. I was sexually abused by my father when I was little and I kept it to myself until few months ago. I told my mother and my father's sister. My mother refused to believe me which hurt me so much. My aunt sort of believed me and spoke to my mother ...
A. 13 October 2010: Totally normal. My mother went through a horrific childhood, and it has affected the rest of her life. However, she says her best decision was to cut contact with them.
Don't ever forgive him unless YOU want to. You are not here to pander to them... (read in full...)
How can I help my stressed out boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend takes a very important exam next week and he's so stressed and worried and looks awful. How can I be of some assistance to him? I say comforting things but they just don't work! I feel so powerless watching him like that!...
A. 13 October 2010: Ask him what you can do. The way women and men respond to stress is different. Women are happier to open up to others, and outwardly support others. Men are happier to deal with it themselves. So all you need to do is let him know you're there for ... (read in full...)
It feels as if he is forcing himself to move on because we broke up over something so small and silly.
Q. I was with my boyfriend for 2 years, after a year we had a break because i was being overly argumentative, and we never fought, it was only 2 weeks and ever since then we were better than ever. we wet on several holidays together and spent a lot of ...
A. 13 October 2010: I'd suggest that those things he 'exaggerated' need to be looked at. Because men don't break up over something silly. There are one of two things happening here.
1 - Those things he said were true, and this has been playing on his mind for some... (read in full...)
If he's with this other girl then why does he keep looking at me?
Q. Hi, um to cut a long story short at the start of college i really liked this guy and i think he liked me too we had just started speaking and things he got my number and everything was going quite well, then we were talking via the internet and he ...
A. 13 October 2010: My suggestion is that he's a young man who has a lot of things on his mind - mostly sex. He likes her, and he likes you. So it's best to remain somewhat distant. You don't want him to dump her for you, only for him to play games with you as well. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is cheating on-line, but I still love him!
Q. Hi I am really at a loss as what to do. My boyfriend has been very distant to me these last 3 months. We broke up for a couple of weeks about 5 months ago (my instigation because he was being unsympathetic to me while I was miscarring our b...
A. 13 October 2010: You can't just make a man interested again. He is either interested, or he is not. If I thought he was interested in working it out, I'd be able to suggest a few things. As it is, this seems to be falling apart without a hope.
Unfortunately, misc... (read in full...)
He wants to live with me, put a front on that we're together in front of family, friends ets, still do business together but be 'separated.
Q. I have been with my fiance for almost 7 years. He cheated a few yrs ago when we were on again/off again and we both moved on together...or so I thought. In the meantime I started my own business, my mother became terminally ill and my fiance and I ...
A. 13 October 2010: What in the hell is the point in being some guy's toy!? What you do is dump his ass. There is no way this can work. He's offering you nothing at all. No children, no future of happiness, no commitment. Nothing. You're just going to end up a very ... (read in full...)
He has a crush on me but won't do anything about it
Q. dear aunt, i am a teenager ..just entered...i knew that one boy have a crush on me by my friends...and after that even i started liking him.his friends ask him to propose me but he never does..i dont know what is the reason behind it??...b...
A. 13 October 2010: The solution is that you need to speak to him yourself. He may think your friends are lying, or that they're making fun of him. And boys are also very shy! Especially when we have a pack of girls telling us to ask out another girl!
So I think if y... (read in full...)
He leads me on and cuts me down
Q. There's a guy. like always. And he's my best guy friend and I'd tell him anything and i love him...and i will never let myself "like like" him because i know he's kinda 2 faced. He told my friend he likes her while he's goin out with some one el...
A. 13 October 2010: I doubt there's anything wrong with you. I suspect it comes down to two things.
1 - You're still only a teenager. Unfortunately, teenage girls mature faster then teenage boys, so whereas you're more ready for dating, boys your age simply don't get ... (read in full...)
I want out of my LDR
Q. Hi - In short i have a long distance casual relationship and i would like to finish it but in good terms, keeping the friendship bit - if possible. We talked, liked each other, went out, slept together, traveled to meet everywhere ... during months. ...
A. 12 October 2010: You're out of luck here. Disappearing would not only be rude but it would also be seriously cruel. He might think you've been in an accident, he might think you absolutely hate him and it might really affect his confidence.
If you want out, you ... (read in full...)
Why do you answer to these questions?
Q. I just want to know something, why do you guys answer to these people? what do you plan to get out of it? do you think "God" will reimburse you for your efforts and "love"? do you feel better by helping others you don't know? I really don't see any ...
A. 12 October 2010: You'd prefer it if no one helped anyone and we all just sat there with problems? I can tell you're one of my fellow British citizens! We're the only truly cynical country in the world!
People need help. That's the only reason I'm here. I don't want... (read in full...)
Girlfriend acting suspicious. Cause for concern?
Q. My first ever question to Dear Cupid! This question may sound textbook, but I would like an outside opinion. About 6 weeks ago, my girlfriend decided to take some time apart. She said that she needed a week to think about what she really want...
A. 12 October 2010: You know the truth. She's into him, not you. She's lied, acted suspiciously and there are clear signs that she's into him, possibly cheating.
Ditch her now, before you wind up getting even more hurt.... (read in full...)
He sent emails to other women and says its because he's afraid I'm going to leave him
Q. My bf of 6 years, Lee, and I are struggling with trust issues due to betrayals by both of us (I slept with 2 other people our first year while he was married and he continues to be set up by friends, text/email females, set up accounts on dating ...
A. 12 October 2010: Seriously, how much more of this are you going to take? This is a totally dreadful mess. There is so much betrayal, so many lies and so much BS from him specifically that I don't see any hope at all of this working. There's no trust. There seems to ... (read in full...)
Buying online erectile dysfunction meds
Q. Does anyone have experience buying ED meds from online pharmacies without a prescription? I hear the ED drugs from India are safe and effective, but I also read that importation of generic ED drugs is illegal. There are some generic ED drugs that ...
A. 12 October 2010: I wouldn't touch anything that isn't from a pharmacist or doctor directly. You don't know what you might be taking if it's from India. ... (read in full...)
Do guys stress about first dates?
Q. do guys get just as nervous as girls do on first dates? what are some of the worries they have? i always get stressed out before the first date and the guys always seem so nonchalant and calm. why is this?...
A. 12 October 2010: Frequently. The first time I met my current girlfriend, I really was nervous. Fortunately she saw past that and now I'm with her :). But yes, men get nervous. We worry about appearance, spilling food on ourselves, our clothes, voices, whether we're ... (read in full...)
Can't find a job. Advice anyone?
Q. This probably isn't the right place to ask as this isn't relationship related at all, but I thought maybe some of you could give me some advice. I finished college in July and moved in with my boyfriend over a month ago. The whole time while I ...
A. 12 October 2010: I'm in the same position as you, and I know exactly how this feels. I had to close my company, and now I can't get a job. All I can say is continue to send out CV's, and make sure you're out the house doing something, even if it's just out for a ... (read in full...)
Has anyone stopped being friend with an ex when the ex met someone new?
Q. I have just been wondering about something..I am with my boyfriend for 1 year now, he was very good friends with an ex of his until we met and then for the first few months that we were dating but now she never gets in touch with him. My boyfriend ...
A. 12 October 2010: I think she did have feelings for him, but saw that he was moving on with you so just backed away. I don't think you need to be worried at all. It's a good thing that this happened. ... (read in full...)
Started talking to my first love again, and she's changed so much it hurts!
Q. I'll try to make this as brief as reasonably possible. I'm 23, and a little over a year ago I was dumped by girlfriend of 6 years. A couple of months before she'd start to see less and less of me, spending a lot more time at the pub, and I found out ...
A. 12 October 2010: Walk away. Explain that you don't think you can be friends anymore, and walk away NOW. You had a chance to make a clean break from her crap, and didn't. Now it's just causing you more pain and no doubt will cause more trouble. Walk away, continue to ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says it's over if I get another tattoo!
Q. Hi all My boyfriend has told me that he might leave me if i get another tattoo, piercing or modify my body in any way. We have been together for 5 years and i love him dearly. He is very sweet and kind and i do value his opinion on body modifi...
A. 12 October 2010: To me, you two sound like you have little in common. And he sounds like he's taking all this way too seriously since he already knew that you were a rock chick. It had to be said that to some men, piercings and tattoos are off-putting. I myself ... (read in full...)
Can there ever be too much sex?
Q. Can there be to much sex in a relationship? I know its bad if you barely do it so i was wondering if it could be bad if you do it alot. Thanks ...
A. 12 October 2010: It's only bad if it's all sex and no dating and going out and all that.... (read in full...)
Why did my ex send me a link, then not respond?
Q. Hi All, I havew a question. I have recently split with my BF, and not contacted him at all for 6/7 days. Why did he send me a link to a search engine / toolbar thing on IM on the 6th day of my no contact? then when I responded with ' Thanks' ...
A. 12 October 2010: Maybe he sent the link to the wrong person, maybe he did it to test you. Either way, you're reading too much into it, since he then signed out. I'd suggest that you block him from your life and move on. Don't sit there looking for hidden meanings in ... (read in full...)
To gift or not to gift?
Q. I recently ran into a highschool classmate on line and he and I clicked. We live on opposite ends of the country and I will be traveling to his side in a week. I will be spending part of my trip with him. This will be the first time that he and I ...
A. 12 October 2010: I'd suggest a bottle of wine. It's probably a good idea to being a gift, but nothing too personal. ... (read in full...)
We went out 4X but she cheated!
Q. hi im only 13 so im new to love and my off and on gf is cheated on me all 4 times we went out but i love her lot and i cant resist her i just love and she promises it wont happen again but i think it will i see how guys look at her shes eye candy ...
A. 12 October 2010: My man, you're being a doormat. You're still young, and you have a lot to learn. The first thing you need to learn is not to let ANY girl treat you this crappily. It will hurt you more and more, and she will cheat again and again. Move on from her, ... (read in full...)
He always has to be right, even if its about stupid things!
Q. Hi so i have a question dealing with my bf. We've been together 5 years. He's very opinionated and is a no "BS" kind of guy. he's got a good heart but sometimes when he's having a conversation with somebody and they disagree or make a different ...
A. 12 October 2010: I think this is a sign that you're 'no BS' guy is actually quite the opposite. He sounds far too full of himself.
See, my girlfriend's ex was a bit like this, 'always had to be right'. She said it wasn't an issue and had no impact on anyone's live... (read in full...)
Can you date your half brother?
Q. is it ok to date your half brother?i didint know him till the start of summer, i didint know i had a half brother till dad died then mum said we had a half brother...
A. 12 October 2010: No. That's incest and it's illegal. ... (read in full...)
After 1 week online guy wants to meet!
Q. Hi Guys. My first day here. OK here it is.... I met a guy online who ive been talking to for one week,not long i know but, for some reason i really like him and my feelings grow by the day. He says he likes me too, but wants to meet before dec...
A. 12 October 2010: Well first of all, tread carefully with this guy. The moment you said "I'm the first girl he's opened up to in a long time" and "he feels I am pushing him away", I got suspicious. How can you be pushing someone away after just a week? And what ... (read in full...)
How does this work? Do I wait for him to call or text?
Q. I am a new widow as of March..yes, I am grieving, and yes, I miss my husband tremendously, but lately I find myself wanting to just be with a man. I don't want a relationship, but just someone to you know be with --be touched-- kiss-- and whatever. ...
A. 12 October 2010: I am sorry or the loss of your husband, and I think you're right to be out there attempting to slowly move on from it.
The thing is, aged 29, he may have reached the age where is is looking for more. I also think that your reply may have given him ... (read in full...)
How do teenage guys act when they like a girl?
Q. Hi, my question is kind of general, but I've been wondering this lately. I have a lot of guy friends, and they all act in different ways around me i.e. shy, goofy, show-offish etc. so I was just wondering what you guys (mostly teenage guys or those ...
A. 12 October 2010: The problem is all those things you mentioned, shy, goofy, show-offish etc are things that teenage guys so when they fancy a girl. Realistically, you'll find it hard to tell whether a guy likes you from just how he acts. You'll need to talk to him ... (read in full...)
EX FWB partner says he doesn't see you enough?
Q. Why would an EX FWB who has a gf and has been with her a while just suddenly say "i don't see you enough :(" i have stayed in contact with this person as friends. Are they hinting at something?...
A. 12 October 2010: Probably thinks that you're up for being used. Prove him wrong and send him packing. ... (read in full...)
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