| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
EX FWB partner says he doesn't see you enough?
Q. Why would an EX FWB who has a gf and has been with her a while just suddenly say "i don't see you enough :(" i have stayed in contact with this person as friends. Are they hinting at something?...
A. 12 October 2010: Probably thinks that you're up for being used. Prove him wrong and send him packing. ... (read in full...)
My wife is extremely jealous!
Q. My wife is extremely jealous. I need help. I can't look anywhere without her accusing me of checking women out. I'm not allowed to go out without her anywhere. When we watch TV, she expects me turn around every time a female comes on screen. I have ...
A. 12 October 2010: This is madness. You need to be firm about this, once and for all. Your kids will be growing up in a house and learning this behaviour. So they will either wind up like her, always jealous and paranoid, or you where they allow jealous and paranoid ... (read in full...)
I need guy's advice on why this guy just dropped me
Q. Hi all, I really need some male advice because I am in an awful situtation. I feel like I am in living hell, I am trying so hard to get through each day but I need an answer..:( Basically, guy a year, he was my best friend and we were so in love. In...
A. 12 October 2010: My feelings are that this guy was never as great as you thought he was. I suspect that you put him on this pedestal and didn't see certain issues with him. As a best friend, he was probably all right because there was an amount of control he was ... (read in full...)
Co-worker offered sex for money!
Q. Not sure what to make of this. I was involved with a woman from work earlier this year. She ended things and went back to her ex and has been hot and cold with me ever since (she's generally nice to me when she wants something). She's been invol...
A. 11 October 2010: I would just stay away from her to be honest. This is the sort of thing that could get out of hand. Even if you do nothing and just give her money, you could be setting yourself up one way or another. ... (read in full...)
In love with my single 25 year old teacher!
Q. Ok. I know you're going to say "Forget him" and "that's just stupid" but im still going to write it. I am 14 (nearly 15)years old, and i am crushing on my teacher who is 25 and is single. I am now in year 10 (14, nearly 15 years old). in year 8,...
A. 11 October 2010: There is no chance of him liking you back unless he is a sex offender, as you are a child, under the legal age and you are in his care. It would be totally illegal for anything to happen at all, and he would be jailed as a paedophile, he would be ... (read in full...)
One girl won't stop causing drama. Can we take legal action?
Q. Hi, Right now there is a girl at my high school who is bullying me and another girl. She is saying mean things about us to other people and making it seem like we are bad people when really we don't want anything to do with her or the situatio...
A. 11 October 2010: If you have offensive texts, then you can probably take legal advice. I'd recommend talking to a teacher or something first, as legal advice is expensive. But I'd imagine you could get a restraining order or something.... (read in full...)
Is there any point in holding on to him hoping he will change his mind?
Q. my bf of 2 years has walked out on me and our 1yr old son, he says not to take it personally he just doesnt want to be in a relationship with me or anyone else, 10 days later we ended up having sex and are still having sex every week, he says that ...
A. 7 October 2010: Every time you have sex, he walks away satisfied. BAN the sex, and tell him to think carefully by himself to what he wants. Suggest to him that you BOTH attend counselling to fix this, and find out what went wrong. If he makes no move after those ... (read in full...)
I feel I can't escape this miserable lonely marriage...
Q. i have been married for 14 yrs the mortgage and house is in my husband's name, i have brought up our sons age 15 17 yrs and also worked building up my own business from home, i am also company secretary for my husbands building business, i want to ...
A. 7 October 2010: Ah-ah. You're married to him, so you can claim what's yours. It doesn't matter that it's all in his name. You work, you've looked after the kids, so you're entitled to your share.
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
Find out where your neare... (read in full...)
"Enjoy the moment!"
Q. What does it mean when a guy says to "enjoy the moment." we've been in a monogamous relationship about 6 months and have talked about how seriously committed we are to the relationship. But every time he says that line, I feel like he's saying he ...
A. 7 October 2010: 'Enjoy the moment' is usually the calling card of a man who's just in it casually. At 6 months, I think a couple should be talking about the future in some way, or at least committing to each other a bit more than your boyfriend appears to be. ... (read in full...)
First time my boyfriend has ever been violent, should I give him a chance if he goes to anger management?
Q. Two days ago, I tried to talk to my boyfriend about his behavior dealing with other girls, not the first time out of 4 years we'd talked about this. I had prepared myself to finally let him go (or at least I thought I had). I did it all in a very ...
A. 7 October 2010: He tried to kill you over a remote control? No way would I take him back.
Actually, this has been coming for some time. Just reading your first few lines was enough to convince me this guy is bad news. He's obviously been up to no good with othe... (read in full...)
Should I get pregnant out of revenge?
Q. Hello my name is Haibine, i've dating my bf two years, but he had a girl while he was with me but i didn't know that. when find out he told me he leave the i didnt trust him, i was cleaning his room and i find a letter the girl sent him, she told ...
A. 7 October 2010: Get pregnant too! Are you mad!? Why would you bring an innocent little child into the world just for revenge. More to the point, why would you want to be with a guy like this? Do you really want a cheat and liar to be the father of your child? ... (read in full...)
How can I make her love me again even though she has gone back to her ex?
Q. My girlfriend and I have broken up for 3 weeks now and I found out that she went back to a guy she dated before me. And they started dating again about a week after our breakup. This entire ordeal has been heartbreaking. She never told me about this ...
A. 7 October 2010: You can't. She never loved you, that's the point. You've been the rebound, and the moment she could get back with her ex, she did. She's not the woman for you at all. She's not the woman for anyone. You need to get over this one. She's no good in ... (read in full...)
He says he loves me and wants to be with me forever, so why has he not finalised his divorce?
Q. Ive been dating a man 2yrs who is married happly married so he he said in the begining.A year into the relationship she had found out he had been telling me he loved me this infromation came from text messages on his phone . They have been ...
A. 7 October 2010: Resorts to violence? Time to move on, I think. No wonder she got out when she did. I think you see too much in this guy. He's not finalized his divorce, he's making excuses and he's being violent. I would move on from him for your own safety. ... (read in full...)
Should I be bothered by this? Or am I just being irrational?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend 2 years and we are looking at moving in together. Around 6 months ago I saw a few adult dating websites on his internet history. This unravelled, and i found out he was signed up to quite a few. He had never messaged a...
A. 7 October 2010: If my girlfriend was looking at porn, that would be one thing. If she was on adult dating sites and social networking sites and claiming that she was 'pleasuring herself', I'd know that was a lie and I'd be very suspicious.
You don't know if he w... (read in full...)
Bullied out of my job by a colleague! Is there anything I can do?
Q. Hi all, I have to get this out or I'll lose the plot! I've just been bullied out of my job. I am an extremely hard worker i.e. at work early every morning, believe in teamwork, frequently help others with things that aren't part of my job et...
A. 7 October 2010: Get a lawyer and sue. ... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriend do something with a prostitute whilst on holiday?
Q. Well recently my boyfriend went on a trip to France with a group of his friends. They were all couples and he was the only guy without his girlfriend there, I couldn’t go because I was in college. Because he wasn’t there as a couple, he told me he ...
A. 7 October 2010: He did something. His blatant attempt to lie and claim he never looked at the prostitute is the proof. He did. You know it, I know it, he knows it. If he was in France, and this girl is French, I'd say from what you've written that he did something. ... (read in full...)
I almost raped my girlfiend. HELP!!
Q. ok so me and my girl have talked about sex. i'm ready she's not. i'm happy with that. she's happy with that. right? so then, we're happily making out when i feel i'm starting to lose control. i'm starting to go further automatically. so we stop and ...
A. 7 October 2010: End the relationship now, seek counselling. ... (read in full...)
I'm sad that he feels the need to compete with me...
Q. Dear cupid, Here is my situation. I have been in a loving relationship for just over a year. My partner is 30, I am 26. He in previous relationships was always referred to as the pretty one, the sexy one, the funny one and the popular one, a...
A. 7 October 2010: This guy is absolutely pathetic. He's beyond pathetic. This is so ridiculous it's beyond belief. He's a primadonna if there ever was one. I'm sorry, but I think you can do better. If there was ever a time when a woman was settling for someone well ... (read in full...)
My husband's friends upset me soooo much!
Q. Hello. I need some advice. Desperately! My middle aged husband of 30 years has friends that upset me so much. Several of them are divorced, all of them drink too much and love to hang out at bars. On top of that, they never ask their wives to...
A. 7 October 2010: You certainly have the right to be upset about the drinking and driving. But you have no right to control who he has as friends or where he goes. You ask why he should hang around with divorced men and go drinking - the answer is because he should ... (read in full...)
My husband's been having an affair for all the 6 years we've known each other!!!
Q. I met my now husband 6 years ago and he kept asking me to marry him, eventually we got married 3 years ago. about 12 months ago i received a couple of letter at work telling me to ask my husband about his affair, as he did not go out at night or...
A. 7 October 2010: For me, that's an instant divorce, and he has to move out. Period. You may not think you have the money to move, but a rented room is better than losing all dignity by spending your time in the same place as a man who has treated you this ... (read in full...)
How can love ever be quantifiable??
Q. I have a question that is bugging me.... why do people say stuff like "I will never love anyone as much as my ex" when they're with someone new? Surely you either love someone or you don't - simple. I can honestly say that I know I loved my ex bo...
A. 7 October 2010: When someone says "I'll never love anyone as much as my ex", then they're to be totally avoided at all costs. Basically, they're using the new person. That's cruel. A person who loves you that much will never say that, because they won't feel it.... (read in full...)
One night stands to get over my ex??? Opinions please!
Q. hi guys, An oppertunity has presented itself to have sex with someone im not completely familiar with, but i may be mis-reading the signs...shes friends with a friend and they have know eachother for quite a while (he introduced us over msn). ...
A. 7 October 2010: To be honest, it's not a good idea. The only way you could do this was if you knew she didn't want anything more than sex (which she doesn't). You wouldn't want to leave a broken heart, as you know what it feels like. Personally, I think you'd do ... (read in full...)
He used me, than says he wants to be single!
Q. I've been seeing a guy for about 2 months. Today he told me that he couldn't do this anymore and isn't ready for a relationship. Why didn't he just say so, in the first place? Why did he lead me on for 2 months? He promised me that we'd go out this...
A. 7 October 2010: I'm afraid you were just someone to use to him. Good relationships start with dates, not with nights over. I think a lot of women are sometimes very naive when it comes to men, and they don't make the man work enough to prove that he's a trustworthy ... (read in full...)
Is he just being a friend or does he want more than friendship?
Q. Hello, I have a male friend that I fell in love with, but my problem is that I cannot read him. I told him about my feelings and the only reply I got was "how shocked he was". He isn't direct when it comes to his feelings, so I find myself havi...
A. 7 October 2010: There is only one way to find out. You've told him how YOU feel, not you need to ask plainly and simply how HE feels. He seems to like you, but then he seems not to. Hard to tell what he's thinking. But you just need to say "How do you feel about ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I want to stay with my husband, but then again I'm not sure if I want to go through a divorce....
Q. Am I being unreasonable or is he? Husband called me a spy and says he doesnt want to be anywhere near me. He wants to divorce me! Why? because I 'smelt a rat' (again),I checked his mobile phone bill to discover he has been texting smutty jokes to a ...
A. 7 October 2010: I'm telling you now, he wants out of this marriage. He wanted out last year when he started these texts. I would even bet that he's having an affair to be honest, or is very close. His behaviour screams of a man having an affair. You're wasting time ... (read in full...)
Prove you want me back!
Q. If a girl you loved dearly for 6 years breaks up with you for another man cause of "Grass is greener on the other side" and she comes back to you after realizing the guy was just after "attached girls" to use and abuse them. She asks for another ...
A. 7 October 2010: I don't think you're getting the point here about what we're trying to say about this girl. She is USING YOU.
Second chances only work when the person wants to come back for YOU. She's not. She's coming back because the other guy was a waster and ... (read in full...)
I am confused about what beauty is!
Q. i was feeling blue so i googled that i don't like myself and i saw someone talking about being depressed so when i saw this website i felt like this could be my escape to express myself; so i decided to sign up so here i am. i have be feeling ...
A. 7 October 2010: If a woman walks into a room and she's confident, she has my attention. That's all it takes. ... (read in full...)
I was curious as to where my boyfriend lived, so I drove by his house but I think he saw me!
Q. I was curious as to where my boyfriend lived. So when I thought he was going to be gone, I drove by his house. I think he saw me, cause just as I was going by, he was backing out of his drive. He hasn't said anything, but I think he saw me. I ...
A. 7 October 2010: Just forget it. And learn from this. If my girlfriend came around and claimed she was 'curious', I'd be a little unnerved. It would seem a bit needy and insecure to me. Say nothing, quit feeling guilty and don't do something like this without ... (read in full...)
I'm not confused anymore, but have I done too much damage?
Q. hi guys, iv got a problem....i caused it though, but want help getting my ex bf back! I broke up with my ex 3 weeks ago, just before my birthday, he gave me presents and spoilt me rotten..then i dumped him...i offered to give his presents back, b...
A. 7 October 2010: Oh yes, you messed up. Your boyfriend is the original nice guy. Did everything, it still wasn't what you wanted. I know how that feels, because I was the man in his shoes.
The very, very first thing you need to think about is whether you real... (read in full...)
I hate my girlfriend's best friend
Q. Let me start off by saying shes not even her best friend...even my girlfriend isn't to fond of her but they've been friends for 6 years so I guess she's sticking around. but she purposely tries to annoy me and shes so embarrassing and aggravating. ...
A. 7 October 2010: Suck it all in and put up with it. This is your girlfriend's friend, not just anyone. As long as she's a friend of your girlfriend, you've just got to take it. You can't be picking her friends, you can't hurt her or her friend by walking out. It's ... (read in full...)
Could this be muscle damage or something more serious?
Q. How would you know if a lower abdominal muscle was damaged? basically I have tenderness and sometimes get sharp pains in left lower part of my stomach. Some days it will be worse than others and I can feel a swelling. I went to the doctor and got ...
A. 7 October 2010: Go back to the doctor and get it checked out again. ... (read in full...)
Can you give a guy a blowjob even if you have a sore throat?
Q. Can you give a guy a blowjob even if you have a sore throat?...
A. 7 October 2010: I wouldn't say that's a good idea. It just sounds like a lot of pain to me. Get better before you do anything like that.... (read in full...)
I gave up everything to be with him, but then I found out he isn't divorced... yet!
Q. Moved from another state to be with my long lost love after 13 yrs of no contact. Gave up my good job house to come back home and marry him (we're both divorced) and start a new life. Found out I'm pregnant and also that he is not divorced. When I ...
A. 6 October 2010: Tell him to get divorced, or you'll walk. Tell him clearly. You're right to be upset and angry at this. He's lied. Simple as. So he either gets divorced or at least makes a start, or you walk. He's right that things don't happen overnight, but he's ... (read in full...)
I want to break up with my boyfriend but fear hurting him, help!
Q. Hi guys this is quite confusing... 2 and a half years agoin the summer i met this guy we hit it off and we made it offical 1 year later we were goin out for roughly 1 year 3 months, it was good we spent all the time we could together sometimes from ...
A. 6 October 2010: First of all, you need to accept there will be no future with the first guy. You can't seriously come out of this relationship, see Guy 2 and then one day go back to Guy 1. He won't wait. So you've got to just move on.
Secondly, get on with the ... (read in full...)
Unattended by hubby so I cheat and then feel so shameful! Please advise.
Q. I need some help I cant stop seeking and cheating on my husband i love him very much however he is so cold to me and not supportive of me in any ways that i can think of. I constantly seek out the eyes and hands of other men to fill a void i feel ...
A. 6 October 2010: Your marriage is totally dead. He's as cold as ice, and you're cheating. It'a match made in hell.
Look, you've already tried talking to him, and he's still cold, still doesn't give you attention. And you're cheating, and you continue to cheat. The ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend makes me feel beholden to him and its making me sick
Q. Looking for some advice!! I'm a 47yr old woman who it seems has got a realtionship all wrong again..or have I? Maybe its me??!! I'm with a guy who's 50..he runs his own business..and he is very financially sound. He likes to let me know of this...i...
A. 6 October 2010: I think you should just ditch this guy. What's the point in being with someone who's just going to treat you this way. He sounds like my father, who is a nightmare like that.
Don't take this. Ditch him.... (read in full...)
Has anyone experienced a late period one month and nothing at all the next??
Q. Well I had unprotected sex (no need for criticism) on the 4th of August and my period came late but it did show up and lasted 5 days I just noticed that I didn't have a period for the month of September I'm not having Pms nor Pregnancy symptoms ...
A. 6 October 2010: If I were you, I'd get tested again. ... (read in full...)
Married with kids and I have a crush on my doctor!
Q. Help!!! Any advise out there about getting over a crush? I am in my forties married to the man of my dreams and have two beautiful kids but can't get my MD out of my head! I did not really like him at first but then he started flirting with me and ...
A. 6 October 2010: I have an idea. Maybe if you like the whole 'Doctor' idea, you could do some role play with your husband, dress up for him and get him to play doctor. Sounds like your marriage could just do with a kick.
Oh, and doctor/patient relationships are ... (read in full...)
I stumbled across viagra in his cabinet, do I talk to him about it?
Q. I've been seeing a guy for a about six months now and over the six months I have noticed that on some occasions he cant get an erection or he is a bit soft or cant maintain the ercetion. We havent really talked about it but he has said he was a bit ...
A. 6 October 2010: If he has viagra, then he's been to the doctor to talk about it already. And yes this is probably why he doesn't drink. I don't think you should talk to him about it, as it would make it worse. Instead, talk to a doctor yourself and ask about how ... (read in full...)
Prove you want me back!
Q. If a girl you loved dearly for 6 years breaks up with you for another man cause of "Grass is greener on the other side" and she comes back to you after realizing the guy was just after "attached girls" to use and abuse them. She asks for another ...
A. 6 October 2010: If she had come back because she wanted YOU, then you could try again.
But she's not.
She's come back because HE wasn't a great guy. You're just a safety net.
Don't mix up making a mistake, and using someone as a safety net. She dumped you f... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't like head??
Q. Boys help me! My bf does not enjoy head. What else can I do to/for him that he may enjoy?! ...
A. 6 October 2010: Ask him. ... (read in full...)
Prove you want me back!
Q. If a girl you loved dearly for 6 years breaks up with you for another man cause of "Grass is greener on the other side" and she comes back to you after realizing the guy was just after "attached girls" to use and abuse them. She asks for another ...
A. 6 October 2010: Personally, I'd not give her the chance. You were dumped by her for another guy, and she only came back because he was an abuser. She didn't come back because she wanted you personally. If he'd been a good guy, she would still have been with him, ... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
