| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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BF wants a Prenup...
Q. Before I got into a relationship with my current bf, he told me that if he ever ends up with someone, he would ask for a prenup. He told me he did not want the relationship to be based on money, and that he does not have a lot himself and that tons ...
A. 20 October 2010: In these days of 40% divorce rates, Pre-nups are now becoming the precedent in marriage, and often for good reason. Only today here in Britain a woman's £100 million inheritance was protected by her pre-nup. Her money grubbing ex husband was ... (read in full...)
He seems to tired to see me since he's move house... what do I do?
Q. Okay well I've been dating this guy for about 3 months. We both like each other very very much and usually spend a lot of time together. However he is a bit older than me and recently he moved out of his apartments into his sister's apartment ...
A. 20 October 2010: Tennisstar88 hit the mark. Realistically, he's not interested. There is no way that he can always be falling asleep. Pull the rug from under him and dump him.... (read in full...)
Should I follow my dream?
Q. I am 23 and currently studying for a degree in history which has been my dream since I was 14. The problem is I also have a dream about studying or volunteering abroad after but I have a boyfriend of six years and he wouldn't be able to come with ...
A. 20 October 2010: Go for your dream. You are not being selfish, you're doing the right thing. If going abroad and volunteering is a dream of yours, then you need to do it. Otherwise, in ten years you'll resent your boyfriend for not having gone. Remember, there are 3 ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend bores me sometimes... is it time to call it a day?
Q. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 1 year and 10 months. We have broken up many times but it wasn't serious ones. the reason we have broke up was because I was bored of our relationship. His a really nice person I've hurt him few ...
A. 20 October 2010: The fact that you've already broken up many times proves it's over. A truly committed couple simply don't break up and get back together all the time. I think he is your friend and nothing more. And I think the time has come for you to step up and ... (read in full...)
Opinions needed here. Does size REALLY matter?
Q. would a guy still want to have sex with u even if your boobs are only size A, or would they have more fun with someone with bigger tits. some answers from the teen guys would be great! ...
A. 20 October 2010: Depends on the guy. To some it's a big deal, to others it just isn't important. I'm not a teen, but I was one and even then it really didn't matter. It just depends on the guy really.... (read in full...)
She said it's over but then she sent me this text. "I love you xxx" I'm confused!
Q. hey every1 . thnx for ur time in order to help me here . i posted like 3 days ago that my ldr gf broke up with me , coz she just felt like she doesnt need a bf anymore coz she has to focus on her career , anyway yesterday we spoke again and we had ...
A. 20 October 2010: She doesn't love you. She dumped you, strung you along, was bitchy with you, and the moment you ended contact she sent you that text to play games. Don't waste your time on her. Better women out there! You don't want to wind up being her doormat. ... (read in full...)
Should I go out with him on a trial basis?
Q. okay so I'll try and keep this short, I've been feeling really lonely and empty lately, my best friend (who has previously told me that he has liked me from the start) asked me out, I would normally say no but since I've been feeling so lonely I ...
A. 20 October 2010: You can't do this to a guy. You can't go out with him, let him kiss you, date you, dry hump you all on the basis of your own loneliness. Because it opens you up to being used, and makes it harder for him to understand where you're coming from.
I... (read in full...)
Are my friends right? IS he playing me?
Q. I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone type of thing. In high school there was a guy Taylor, he was a TOTAL player, he slept with pretty much every girl in our high school and then usually dumped them and told his friends about it. 3 ...
A. 20 October 2010: Are you willing to take that chance? You know he was a player, and often the players remain players for a very long time. Your friends are telling you that he is still the same guy. So, are you willing to take a chance? If yes, take it very slowly ... (read in full...)
I have suspicions that he might be cheating on me...
Q. my bf, and i have been dating for about 2 months now, our relationship, is more sexual than emotional. Which personally i do not mind, because i am not in love with him. The only problem is that, now, i think he is cheating on me, and i told him, ...
A. 20 October 2010: No disrespect, but if you're not 'in love' with him, then why are you together? Because at two months, if you're already feeling this way and he seems like he's already cheating, then what's the point? Just end it now and get it over and done with. ... (read in full...)
Does my husband still love me?
Q. Does my husband still love me? We have been married for 12 years and I feel as though he doesn't love me anymore, he has put himself on chat websites and I just don't know what to think anymore, please help ...
A. 20 October 2010: The time has come for you to sit down with him and talk to him. Explain that you're worried he has been pulling away, putting himself on chat sites and such, and explain you want the both of you to put more effort into your marriage. Chances are ... (read in full...)
Do I deserve my car back seeing as I paid for it?
Q. Well, My wife and i been married 4 years and have a 3 year child and she has a 6 year child which i helped raise since he was 2 years old. She doesnt let me see him and dont know why. I need some advice on this problem. My wife left me about 4 ...
A. 20 October 2010: If the car is in her name, it's hers. And I don't think there's a thing you can do about it. It's the same as if you give a woman an engagement ring that you've paid for. If it's a gift or in her name, it's hers. Sorry. ... (read in full...)
Was that the moment that made me realize that I should start having sex?
Q. Could someone please explain me this? I've been going out with my b/f for over a year now, we're both virgins, and we said that we're going to have sex when I'm ready. Until a few months ago, I was scared to be alone in the same room with him, t...
A. 20 October 2010: If you're wanting sex 'so bad' - then you're pretty much ready. So go have fun. ... (read in full...)
He's a guy, and he just doesn't need to talk to me....and I am a girl and have these emotional needs that get in the way of our happiness. Any advice?
Q. I've been unhappy in my relationship, and have been contemplating having an emotional affair. I love spending time doing things with my boyfriend, but it always seems like I want so much more than he is able to give...we seem to be very compatible ...
A. 20 October 2010: Why an affair? Why do people always think affairs an an answer? Affairs are wrong, whatever the reason, so the moment you have an affair, you've become as bad as your boyfriend.
If your boyfriend is not providing you with the emotional support you ... (read in full...)
He didn't even try to call today! Do I have the right to be angry?
Q. Do I have the right to be mad in my situation with my bf? We've been in a relationship for 6 months and everything has been for the most part pretty smooth. Our only fight that I recall was a month ago cause I felt I was the only one putting effort ...
A. 20 October 2010: It's just one day. That's all. What you do is stop panicking and seeming like you're desperate, jealous or way too clingy, and you relax and do something else. This is a major indication that you're becoming too attached to him, and at some point it ... (read in full...)
She said it's over but then she sent me this text. "I love you xxx" I'm confused!
Q. hey every1 . thnx for ur time in order to help me here . i posted like 3 days ago that my ldr gf broke up with me , coz she just felt like she doesnt need a bf anymore coz she has to focus on her career , anyway yesterday we spoke again and we had ...
A. 20 October 2010: She's playing games with you. Some people do this for an ego boost. That's what she's doing. Ignore her, or you'll wind up being a doormat or something. ... (read in full...)
I am sick of running into guys that wants sex first and a relatonship later.
Q. Dear Cupid, I am 23 years old, College graduate, Full time job, own place.... and a virgin. Pround to be one. But at my age, a virgin is hard to come by. Throughout my life so far I had put finding a boyfriend on the back burner. I wanted to have...
A. 20 October 2010: You will find a guy like that. You've got to be prepared to work through guys who basically aren't like that. But like I said, if you're religious and such, then the Church might be a good option. ... (read in full...)
Broke up with my fiance, he said he's call me, but he hasn't
Q. dear agony aunts and uncles its been 5 hours and i just ended things with my fiancé of 1 yr and 3 months whose in the army . He was caught off guard when i told him and told me that we would talk about this later he said he'd call me . and to be ...
A. 19 October 2010: So then end it? If he treated you that badly before, he won't change now.
You can't play games like this. Ever. You dump a man, he won't suddenly get on his knees and beg. He'll take it at face value and walk away.
You shouldn't be together... (read in full...)
Why can't my ex and I let go of each other?
Q. Hello Dear Cupid. Please help!! I am stil madly in love wth my ex, and he knows it, and he messages me if I do not hear from him, and I message him vice versa. We do not see each other much, but when we do it usually really nice, but he always ...
A. 19 October 2010: Exactly what Aunty Em says. You may have all the feelings left over. You may still have the emotional connection. You may still feel attractive.
But he does not feel the same way. At all. You are distinctly allowing yourself to be used by this guy,... (read in full...)
Do guys like this?
Q. do guys like it when you say there name during intercourse?...
A. 19 October 2010: Pretty much what Dirtball says. Said in the right context, we love it. ... (read in full...)
Is something hand made for your boyfriend seen by them as being too mushy?
Q. Is it a good idea to make a hand made gift for your boyfriend? I mean... do guys appreciate stuff like hand made cards/poems/a home made dinner etc for them or is it considered to be too mushy? -_-...
A. 19 October 2010: Probably amongst the reasons he's an ex. Maybe he just wasn't that great.... (read in full...)
Do you think a man can be happy with his wife and still cheat on her?
Q. This is a very quick question: do you believe a man who is cheating on his wife but who tells upfront the woman is cheating with that he is in a relationship and "he can't leave her" and, when asked if he is happy, will reply "I think so" ? Is this ...
A. 19 October 2010: More often than not the men are very happy in their marriages. That's why they don't leave. They have one woman doing the cooking, laundry, child rearing etc, and the other woman on the side for the thrill. The woman on the side is just that - the ... (read in full...)
Help! I think my mom is cheating on my dad!!!
Q. Ever since my mom got a facebook I've had suspicions of her cheating on my Dad. I've seen her on it and she mostly talks to guys. About a month ago I was downstairs alone her phone went off, I looked ( I know I really shouldn't have) and it was all ...
A. 19 October 2010: Talk to her and put her on the spot.... (read in full...)
Is something hand made for your boyfriend seen by them as being too mushy?
Q. Is it a good idea to make a hand made gift for your boyfriend? I mean... do guys appreciate stuff like hand made cards/poems/a home made dinner etc for them or is it considered to be too mushy? -_-...
A. 19 October 2010: Amazingly, we do. We never admit it though. That's where the old saying "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach" - hence why if you cook something for your boyfriend it will pretty much work. Cards and poems are also treasured, even if it ... (read in full...)
My wife seems to have no sexual interest in me any more...
Q. my wife and I met when we were 12, started dating at 13 got married at 20 and I'm 32 now. All of our friends envy us, her friends say I'm the best guy, I do everything for her she never complains. I'm not like a lot of guys, she always comes first. ...
A. 19 October 2010: Talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel. You need to be honest with her, because if you're not this will only get worse. You need to talk to her about it and see what she says. ... (read in full...)
He's gotton someone else pregnant and I don't know what to do any more...
Q. I am completly in love with someone and we are going out. The problem is that he already has a girlfriend who is one of my best mates and is really sensitive. The thing is I've heard he slept with her and he promised me he wouldn't and I did a test ...
A. 19 October 2010: So he has a girlfriend already, which makes him a cheat. She's your best friend, which doesn't look good for you, and now she's pregnant, which means all those dreams you had about him are wrecked, because he'll have to pay for the baby before you, ... (read in full...)
Did I cross a line? Was I interrogating him?
Q. My boyfriend runs a business with his friend and they're having some problems at the moment. I'm worried about him and the future he has in that job. He tells me about his job and when I see him I ask how work is. The other night I told him that ...
A. 19 October 2010: You hit the rawest nerve that a woman can hit with a man - by asking him if he was searching for other work, you implied that he was going to fail and needed to be doing more. I know you didn't mean to, but the worst possible thing to do when a man ... (read in full...)
Feel like she's deceiving me and has secret Email account...what do I do?
Q. I have had trust issues with my girlfriend ever since I found one of her emails about 9 months ago that showed she was planning to cheat on me earlier in our relationship with one of her ex'es. Ever since I confronted her about it, I have had no ...
A. 19 October 2010: Man, you're being treated like a doormat. She already had emails that you know said she was going to cheat. Now she's deleting posts from those ex's and it looks like she's got an email account. Admittedly you have no control over the things that ... (read in full...)
I broke up with him, went with a rebound and now want my ex back!
Q. I broke up with a man that I was TOTALLY in love with...because he said he was not "in love" with me after 10 months of seriously dating. I broke up with him as soon as he confirmed this. I did this because another man who had been after me was ...
A. 19 October 2010: Why would you want your ex back anyway? He told you he wasn't 'in love' with you. Therefore, he's not the right guy for you either. He doesn't love you
I think you'd do much better to be single, focusing on your own life right not. Neither of thes... (read in full...)
My sister is filing for divorce from her husband because she thinks him and me were playing "footsie"
Q. I am very close to my sister. I am single. My sister has been married for 10 years. I am also close to her husband. I was visiting my sister last Sunday and she, her husband, his parents and I were playing card games on a table. I accidentally ...
A. 19 October 2010: Nothing. How can you possibly compete with her mentality. "Their feet touched, so it must be an affair and I'll have to file for divorce"?
I think you're taking way too much blame here. There is clearly so much more going on in their marriage than... (read in full...)
My separated wife says she hates me and that she never loved me
Q. Hi, Im in need of serious help, do to a heart break. My wife and i been married for 3 years and together 4. We have 1 son together. we been seperated for almost 5 months now. I still love her with all my heart and want her back. Shes says that she ...
A. 19 October 2010: They always say attack is the best form of defence. And here is the example.
Your wife is in the wrong, and knows it. She has gone back to a guy who she dated before you, and I wouldn't even be surprised if they were having an affair. I find it h... (read in full...)
Ex is paying for rent...should I let him come over sometimes?
Q. I just left my boyfriend...we tried everything to make it work but it just will never work out between us. I still love him and want the best for him, even though I don't want to be with him at all. We have a two-year-old son and we're trying to ...
A. 19 October 2010: No, don't let him keep the key. He might still pay the rent, but he has no 'right' as such to continually be coming over to your place demanding to come in. It would be rather like a divorced man who has to pay his ex wife's mortgage always coming ... (read in full...)
Broke up with my fiance, he said he's call me, but he hasn't
Q. dear agony aunts and uncles its been 5 hours and i just ended things with my fiancé of 1 yr and 3 months whose in the army . He was caught off guard when i told him and told me that we would talk about this later he said he'd call me . and to be ...
A. 19 October 2010: My feeling is that you're not ready to get married. Apart from anything else, you've not told the reason that you broke up - we need to know. But you've just broken up, and you're expecting him to call, like this is some test to prove he loves you. ... (read in full...)
How can I ask her out without feeling hurt that she rejected me?
Q. How do I ask a girl out who probably doesn't even like me because of how I look but doesn't know how I am in the inside? How can I ask her in a way where it won't hurt as much if she rejects me? Why do most girls now a days look for what's on the ...
A. 19 October 2010: Don't go in there assuming she will just reject you. Women can smell under-confidence, and they don't really like it. She might find it hurtful if you ask her in a soft way so's not to get hurt. You've got to go in there believing she will say yes. ... (read in full...)
How to get even with my boyfriends ex mistress?
Q. how to get even with my boyfriends ex mistress, who has now turned on me, although i have done nothing to her in any shape or form!!!!!!! She has hacked into our electric account, mobiles, accused us of assault, (we did not)came to our home, proper ...
A. 18 October 2010: Exactly what Dirtball says. Get all the proof, then take it the police. Hacking, fraud, illegal allegations of assault, harassment. Plenty of things that will ensure that she's put away, hopefully at Her Majesty's pleasure in an asylum. ... (read in full...)
Guys Only Please* nude pics of gf
Q. GUYS ONLY PLEASE I mean this, because girls view the world in a totally different way, and they all THINK they know what guys are thinking and the reasons behindd their actions, but are usually wrong. A girl asking for insight into a guy's min...
A. 18 October 2010: It would be both reasons. Firstly, we wouldn't want our girlfriend to get angry and never show herself to us again. Secondly, no man wants his friends ogling his girlfriend only to find one of those friends suddenly tries to make a play for her.
O... (read in full...)
Wanted men's opinion... Is a silk or woollen scarf a good gift for men?
Q. Men... What do you think? Is a scarf especially a silk or a woollen scarf a good gift for a man?...
A. 18 October 2010: There you go. Good gift.... (read in full...)
Really confused!!! What does this woman mean??
Q. Hi guys I wonder if anyone can help me with this matter as I'm confused. I work as a bouncer in a nightclub and over the last few monthes I've started to really get along with a woman who works behind the bar. First we started with general small ta...
A. 18 October 2010: This is exactly the sort of woman that scares me, and has managed to confuse you. There are some women (and men, to be fair), who feed off others, who love attention and think they should be chased after like there's no tomorrow. Call them what you ... (read in full...)
My husband's long-lost ex fiancé is suddenly intruding into his life
Q. My husband of twelve years recently added his ex fiance on Facebook. She apparently contacted him thru his sisters Facebook. They broke up 18 years ago because she cheated on him. Now she has come back and has attended family gatherings (I was away ...
A. 18 October 2010: Of course you're threatened! You have every right to be threatened! Your husband is allowing this behaviour! Tell him what you've found, tell him how you feel, insist on him breaking contact. You have every right to make a huge fuss over a woman who ... (read in full...)
Why does he contradict himself?
Q. Can someone please tell me why a man would contradict himself,when i first started dating my boyfriend he soon started to point out that i should dress more sexily low cut tops mini skirts etc so i did as it was to his liking and i felt ok as i only ...
A. 18 October 2010: He's a damn control freak, through and through. He made you change first time around to suit him, then made you change again. Just get away from him and have nothing to do with him. He clearly has issues, which probably led to the break up as well. ... (read in full...)
How do I make my relationship with my boyfriend age apropriate?
Q. Hi, I'm in a relationship with a boy tht is younger than me and all he can think about is sex, what do I do? I don't want just sex I want to cuddle hug be a cute couple together. Everytime I hug him he tries to touch me innapropriate I feel ...
A. 18 October 2010: You need to tell him straight that you don't feel ready for any of this and would prefer him to stop feeling you up. There's no way of him knowing how you feel unless you come out and say it. You're not ready and you don't feel ready, so tell him ... (read in full...)
Should I let my ex's girlfriend know he is cheating on her?
Q. I am on my second marriage. During my first marriage, my spouse and I each had affairs. Obviously we had a lot of issues and thats why we got divorced. I initiated the divorce and i got married to a friend of ours. I have been married again for 4 ...
A. 18 October 2010: No, not at all. It's bad for her that he's doing this, but it's an even worse sign that you're re-married and you're checking on your ex husband! You're not physically cheating, but what happens the day your husband walks in and sees you're checking ... (read in full...)
Wanted men's opinion... Is a silk or woollen scarf a good gift for men?
Q. Men... What do you think? Is a scarf especially a silk or a woollen scarf a good gift for a man?...
A. 17 October 2010: Depends on your boyfriend. If he's into fashion, or spends a lot of time outside, then it's a good gift. ... (read in full...)
I am sick of running into guys that wants sex first and a relatonship later.
Q. Dear Cupid, I am 23 years old, College graduate, Full time job, own place.... and a virgin. Pround to be one. But at my age, a virgin is hard to come by. Throughout my life so far I had put finding a boyfriend on the back burner. I wanted to have...
A. 16 October 2010: If you're religious, I'd suggest you try a Church, where you can meet people who'd believe the same things as you. But don't just discount guys who have had sex before. We're not all bad!... (read in full...)
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