Anti-Monogamy: why be faithful?
Q. What is so great about being true to your girl?I was in a situation where I had 2 girls within my grasp( both are awesome hot might add) and they live so seperately that they would never heve met.Perfect dual relationship conditions( i dnt call it ...
A. 20 December 2009: It's not a matter of being faithful to one person or another as far as monogamy goes. It's a matter of being faithful to your word or the implied relationship you are having. If the woman you are with thinks it's monogamous, being with someone else ... (read in full...)
I need to talk to my Mother
Q. ok i have a question so i had had my period fot 2 yearsz now i am 15 years old and i get frustruated with using pads so i have been thinking about using tampons. my question is how can i get my mom to approve or buy me some?...
A. 17 December 2009: Tampons are really unhealthy and pads are not convenient. I discovered menstrual cups a few years ago and they are amazing. I have been using one for a couple of years now and it's nice not to have to deal with the mess of pads or the health risks ... (read in full...)
I fight to get my anger out now he has walked away!
Q. Okay, so i just had a huge fight with my boyfriend, we are very very serious, we've already discussed marriage.The problem with me is that i fight to get my anger out. We have been fighting for over a week now, everyday. It is always my fault and i ...
A. 17 December 2009: When someone breaks up with you, of course you are going to feel a sense of desperation and loss, but you should not act on those feelings.
As you have said, your behavior is what caused this situation. The only things to make us change i... (read in full...)
I need guy help - it seems like our relationship is starting to be based on sex!
Q. me and my boyfriend have been going out for eight months now and things have been a little shaky. i told him that i was keeping my virginity until marriage before we even went out and all this time i've kept it. the thing is every time i come over ...
A. 16 December 2009: I wonder what this relationship was based upon in the beginning? Because it seems as if you don't have enough in common for there to be anything but sex here.
He isn't interested in talking or spending time doing date like activities with you... (read in full...)
Cheated in a long distance relationship... can I forgive her???
Q. I am in a long distance relationship with a woman in another country for 3.5 years now. She is 26 now. We love each other very much and our sex is so good that it is almost unbelievable. To my huge dissapointment, after 6 months into our ...
A. 16 December 2009: I'm so sorry for your pain right now. How awful to be cheated on and even worse to find out like this.
I hate to say it, but I think this woman has been deceiving you all around. Given her promiscuity and past, I would say
1) She can't ... (read in full...)
My relationship is falling apart. Is there any way to save it?
Q. I've been in a relationship for almost 3 years now, and so far it's been amazing. It's a very healthy relationship, we have good communication and are very close... but lately, in the last few months, things are beginning to fall apart and I don't ...
A. 16 December 2009: Given the fact that you are both busy, this is difficult, but we always make some time for what we would like to do most (even if it's just a few moments).
See if you can make an agreement with your boyfriend to talk every day, even if it's onl... (read in full...)
I really want this relationship to work but I don't know what to do anymore!
Q. Hi, i have been dating a boy that i love with all my heart for 1 year and 7 month. I am not going to go off saying hes completely horrible because i dont think he is. sometime he is very sweet and caring. I met him second year of college and i left ...
A. 16 December 2009: I'm sorry you are in a relationship that is causing you this much pain. There are several problems here and I will try to address each of them for you, but they are all pretty connected.
The first thing is that both of you have lost respect ... (read in full...)
I feel like I have nothing in my life compared to my friends...
Q. Hi, I am approaching 29 and feel like I have nothing in my life. My freinds are all off getting married, having kids, buying houses, in great jobs etc. I live in a shared house with a 25 year old and I work in dire job for 22,000 a yea...
A. 30 November 2009: It's so important to focus upon the things you do have that are positive in life. If you forget to acknowledge them, the quality of your life will be less no matter how many good things you have. You have to take the time to appreciate them.
... (read in full...)
Is it only false hope, or is there really someone out there for everyone?
Q. ok alot of people say hold out there is somebody out there for everybody.. which is cliche to me. cuz wen i read alot of the post on this website even people of older age have complicated relationships and in real life alot of people go thru lives ...
A. 29 November 2009: There is someone out there that you are compatible with, even multiple someone's. It's up to you to find one of those people, if you are interested (you have to decide exactly what you want and actively look). Most people do not have what it... (read in full...)
Who do I chose? He divorced his wife to make me his.
Q. please help..to make this story short here it goes..i had a relationship with a married man...we parted went our seperate ways painfully he broke it off...he said that i deserved better and that if he got divorced he would come back to me because he ...
A. 30 October 2009: I absolutely agree with Gerta (Well said Gerta!). Neither of these men is a good choice.
Here's the problem I see though, it sounds as if you got in a relationship with the second, younger man without really expressing or going after what you... (read in full...)
How do you sustain a relationship once the guy considers you his girlfriend?
Q. I'm at a stage where I don't think I know how to sustain a relationship. I've been too busy with school and college before to pursue relationships, and when I did finally start 'dating' none of my dates turned into actual relationships. ...
A. 30 October 2009: It seems that you have just 'fallen' into this relationship. A relationship should be something you make a conscious choice to have, based upon your mutual compatibility and attraction to one another physically, mentally and emotionally.
What ... (read in full...)
Should I go through with it or keep him as a friend and nothing more?
Q. i was a teachers assistant my whole senior year for this art teacher and he was young looking i always tought he was cute since my sophmore year so i became his t.a because he insisted me to be his t.a. so we would spend allot of time together ...
A. 30 October 2009: I second the first response. You need to make a decision as to what you really want here.
Attraction doesn't sustain a relationship, it helps certainly, but compatibility, dedication (this means loyalty and determination and flirting with som... (read in full...)
I think I love her, but she just wants to be friends. Should I keep being her friend?
Q. Please Help!!! Ok so i really like this girl like alot i think i love her. I have told her that i really like her. She had also told me that she really likes me,but the other day out of nowhere she changed her mind and told me that she only sees us ...
A. 30 October 2009: I agree with you moving on. Once someone sees you as just a friend, it is rarely the case that it would change. Move on for your sake, it won't do you any good to be this girl's friend and watch her date other guys and then talk to you about her ... (read in full...)
My 17 year old daughter hasn't had her period. Any advice?
Q. I have a 17 year old daughter that has not started her period. I have taken her to several doctors. Does anyone have advice or information on this subject?...
A. 30 October 2009: If you are really worried, absolutely take her to the doctor. My grandmother, 93 now, got her period at 17. Some girls get them later than others, it's a little unusual, but it's not unheard of. At least you can be thankful she isn't experiencing ... (read in full...)
Hes a wonderful man but is it possible to find a Prince Charming?
Q. I have been married for just over a year. I constantly think about whether my husband is the right man for me. I was never really sure about him, even when we were dating and engaged. I can't decipher whether this is part of the process, or if I am ...
A. 30 October 2009: All relationships have less exciting periods in them and some people settle for a life time of unexciting. If you want more than that, you will have to both make the effort for one another. You have to work at relationships, they don't just ... (read in full...)
Where do you draw the line between cheating and not cheating when it comes to dancing?
Q. I'm going to ask some... um, shall we say, hypothetical questions here about dancing and whether or not it is "cheating". Hypothetically if you've been with a guy for 4 years or so, and you do these things: 1. Slow dance alone in a room with anot...
A. 30 October 2009: I would say, if it's something that would hurt the other person, it could be considered cheating. I would also say though, that if you have not clearly defined what each of you consider cheating in your relationship, it makes it pretty hard to lay ... (read in full...)
Should I stay with Mr. Comfortable or try something new?
Q. I started dating my fiance when i was in high school. He has been my first everything, and we've been together for almost 6 years. He is a great guy, very nice. But I find myself bored with him. The sex has never been good we've tried everything.. ...
A. 30 October 2009: I would say take a break from him (a couple of weeks). Take a vacation or tell him you have things you need to think about and need some space. See how you feel being away from him. You only know what it's like to be with him, so take some time ... (read in full...)
I am in the perfect relationship. Why do I feel so needy?
Q. I am in the perfect relationship, we have perfect chemistry.I just don't know why I have these overwhelming feelings of need towards him... He does everything right by me, he is faithful, he is loyal, he is loving, encouraging and supportive. When...
A. 9 October 2009: This happens in a lot of relationships. When you meet someone you want to spend all of your time with, you give up the great things that make your life even more fulfilling, like hobbies and friends. And if you didn't have those to begin with, ... (read in full...)
Ejaculation accidentally touched my vagina
Q. Before you all say I am too young(or something) for this, I would like to say. I have made a huge mistake by doing this. I know what I did wrong, and is very regretful. Any nurses/doctors/concerned adults please help! I touched male sperm on my...
A. 28 September 2009: I would say chances are very unlikely. But absolutely be more careful or chances will be very likely. If you are very concerned get the morning after pill. You can get it without a prescription from a drug store for about $40.
... (read in full...)
Is he cheating on me and how can I stop us from falling apart?
Q. So, Im 18 and My Boyfriend Is 20, we've been together 2 years but i just don't know if he loves me anymore.. he tells me he does but would rather be out with his friends than spend time with me, he always seems to be on his phone which is making ...
A. 28 September 2009: I think for him this relationship has run it's course. If you have communicated your feelings with him (which you should absolutely do calmly and kindly) and he still acts like this, he isn't going to change for you. A decent man will put mor... (read in full...)
Ladies: How long do you wait to have sex?
Q. ladies,how long do you wait before you have sex with a guy-I'm confused because if you make them wait a long time,they may cheat and if you don't they may use you-what to do ?!...
A. 28 September 2009: A decent man won't ever cheat on you and will respect your decision to wait to have sex with him until you have an established and secure relationship. That is what should determine how long you wait. If the kind of men you are meeting are not ... (read in full...)
Why is he ignoring me?
Q. I like this guy a lot. We had sex about a week ago which was my first time and now he's ignoring me. When I call he doesn't answer when I text he doesn't text back. If he does he says he's working. I really don't know since he use to do it before he ...
A. 27 September 2009: I have posted this in response before to someone, but it really applies to your situation too.
This guy just isn't interested in you. Unfortunately your actions led to him treating you this way. If you are looking for more than just hooking ... (read in full...)
How do you stop all the feelings and get over someone fast?
Q. so im back. I asked a question about my girlfriend leaving me. I was told that i would get over it and able to stop this numbness that I feel. its been a couple months. I still think about her everyday, I look at my phone every couple hours. just to ...
A. 27 September 2009: It's hard to get over relationships, but you have to be willing to invest more time in yourself than you do thinking about her. Stop looking at your phone. Start to spend more of your time around your family or your friends or doing somethi... (read in full...)
I don't have a man, I have yet another child. Is divorce OK in this situation?
Q. this is going to be kind of long, but i really need advice. i have been with my husband for 9 yrs, married for 7. we have 2 boys, 6 and 4. i was pregnant when we got married. i have always been a hard worker and even though i got things from my ...
A. 27 September 2009: Why would anyone create a situation for people to suffer and not be able to grow being stuck in a marriage that was loveless, supportless, abusive, neglectful etc? People don't always make informed decisions concerning marriage in the first place ... (read in full...)
Is he a good guy? Is he being genuine?
Q. I'd like some thoughts on this situation. I've been seeing a guy for about 3 weeks and things are going well. We can spend hours together, talk on and on, and just have a great time. He's been really slow to make a move on me, kiss me etc but as ...
A. 27 September 2009: It is hard to tell if a man is genuine so soon. When you are initially with a man, you have to make him work for physical interactions with you. Making out on his bed so soon may make things too easy for him. A little making out standing up when ... (read in full...)
I feel so guilty for not being able to try again with him...
Q. I am in a miserable situation. I have been married for 10 years and have a 9 year old child. For various reasons, I have grown to resent my husband, he has barely shown me attention sexually for years, hasn't bothered to play much with our son, has ...
A. 27 September 2009: What concerns me here is that you let this go on for so long without communicating about it. It isn't fair of you to resent your husband if you never told him how you felt or asked him to make more of an effort. I'm not saying his neglect of you ... (read in full...)
Is he still with his ex? Am I the other woman?!
Q. He told me that him and his ex are over, but they have a kid together. We've been together 6 months, but I've noticed a few things: 1. He told me he doesn't have MySpace page. But I found it- He's logged in very recently, and he's had it for ov...
A. 27 September 2009: You are not stupid, you are just a person looking for love and that isn't anything to be ashamed of. Unfortunately this sounds to me like a classic case of cheating and his job being in a different town from where he lives is making it very e... (read in full...)
He's dealing with family stuff, but I love him and don't want to lose him
Q. So, I'm in the Army National Guard. I met my boyfriend while we were training to get deployed. We have a great time together. He says he loves me to death and he was even thinking about asking me to marry me. That was untill he found out that his ...
A. 27 September 2009: Perceptions can be so different. The first response to this question was a good one, but I had a different perception. As cruel as it would be, this could be his way of getting out of your relationship. Not to say that he lied about his Grandf... (read in full...)
I am undecided about children, meanwhile he just had a vasectomy
Q. I am in a nearly year long relationship with a man I love. He is absolutely wonderful to me in so many ways, and we seem to click. I am a few years younger than him, just finishing my Master’s degree, and still deciding what I want to do with ...
A. 27 September 2009: First you have to figure out what you want. If you are genuinely undecided about having children, does it really matter if they are yours biologically or yours through adoption? I believe that adopting is a very selfless way to have children, i... (read in full...)
Why would he watch porn right after we have sex?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have a great sex life. It is always fun and full filling, one thing tho... Sometimes after we have sex and i leave or go to sleep he goes on the pc sometimes within the hour and watches porn. I have expressed how this makes me ...
A. 27 September 2009: As others have said, your boyfriend isn't doing this because you are not enough or because sex with you is inadequate. Its probably because he wants additional/longer sexual stimulation or that he just wants some variety. Either way, it really ... (read in full...)
My 2nd ex husband left me financially helpless!
Q. Dear Cupid:i was with a man for 9 years: he was my night in shining armour. He was married for 24 years prior to meeting me. His first wife left him because he brought her to financial bankruptcy. He told me it was not his fault for loosing their ...
A. 21 August 2009: kc100 said it all. This is great advice and is very close to the advice I would give you too. Be strong and work on building upon your own success. :-)... (read in full...)
If we got together, would he expect me to have sex straight away and think I'm frigid if I don't? He's had 8 people and I'm a virgin!
Q. Well theres this guy and he has just turned 20 wheras im 16. Anyway I've known him for ages through family but we didnt really talk much, I usually hung out with his younger brothers. Anyway it was exams this year and he tutored me and hes a great ...
A. 21 August 2009: I know when you are younger it's hard to talk about certain things, but if you two are actually dating and have an established relationship, this is a conversation you need to have with him. Communication is so important in all relationships, so ... (read in full...)
Dating again after ending a relationship
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 and a half years two days ago. He had been extremely controlling and our relationship was very rocky. I was at the point where I had completely changed for him and could not even be myself around him because he ...
A. 29 July 2009: Dating someone long-term who you are not compatible with would be a waste of your time. It is a good idea to enjoy some casual dates and to see what is out there and get a good idea of the qualities you would like ideally. Finding out that someone ... (read in full...)
Mr. Right, but not right now?
Q. I'm 21 years old and have been dating my boyfriend for the past 10 months. He is a good guy, sweet and kind to me. He is also older than I am by about eight years, and I think he's ready to settle down (has asked me to move in with him before and so ...
A. 29 July 2009: If your instincts are telling you one thing and you are considering just going along with something else hoping it won't be too bad, that probably isn't going to make you happy. You should always trust your instincts or that little voice inside of ... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking that he stole money from me!
Q. I think my boyfriend may have stolen from me, but I can't prove it. Saturday night, I came home from my waitressing job and counted my earnings and put it all away very neatly in my wallet to take to the bank. The next day, a large bill was m...
A. 29 July 2009: The best thing to do without proof is to trust that he didn't take it, but be wise and protect yourself by testing him. Tuck some money into a place where he might think you simply misplaced it, couch cushion (leave it visible), handing out of a ... (read in full...)
How do you work out what you want in a partner?
Q. How would you go about working out what you want in a partner? I thought I knew, but last night I was talking to my brother about it and some things he asked me made me realise I have no clue. Until the end of last year I'd been quite settled with ...
A. 20 July 2009: You are definitely not being too picky. Compatibility is what relationships should be built upon. In order to know what qualities a love match should have, you should look at yourself first.
Someone you are compatible with would be like you... (read in full...)
Wife feels ignored, cause of my business
Q. My wife has been really piss at me for not paying enough attention to her due to my job, I've insanely with business trips, meetings etc so I haven't been blowing off her a lot lately. I missed her birthday and our anniversary (they're quite close ...
A. 16 July 2009: Part of being married means being kind and considerate and making the person you love feel special. You dropped the ball in all of these instances here. Whether it was your job or you simply forgot, it's still up to you to make it up to her.
... (read in full...)
Is he just using me and I should end this?
Q. I met this guy a month in a half ago, and we have been hanging out since then. At first it was a really nice date, we did things together and then at the end we made out. We have been going to this park and hooking up, and he told me he liked me. So ...
A. 16 July 2009: This guy just isn't interested in you. Unfortunately your actions led to him treating you this way. If you are looking for more than just hooking up or making out, then you need to make a man earn being with you. It was too easy for him and ... (read in full...)
Falling for my son's coach, even though he's married ...
Q. I had a fling with my sons baseball coach, here recently and he was married, im a widow, he came onto me and i cant stop thinken about him, we had alot of fun together, and we had sex 4 times, and we really connected together also, but i know i did ...
A. 16 July 2009: Nothing just happens. You allowed for this to happen and this man is married. You know this isn't right and you know how you would feel if your deceased husband did something like this to you. Feelings or not this isn't the kind of a founda... (read in full...)
I said I didn't want kids; she said no problem; now she says she's pregnant
Q. i'm a 52 y/o and i met this young lady who is 31. we hit it off from the start. i told her that i've been married for quite some time and divorced ten yrs, have three grown childrens and whatnot and that i'm not interested in having anymore. she ...
A. 16 July 2009: Here is the first problem, you dated someone knowing that you did not share the same goals for the future. This a factor that contributed to you ending up in this situation. Had you been with someone who had the same goals that you do (not to have ... (read in full...)
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