A
female
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anonymous
writes:After 2 years my lover just wants to be friends and im heartbroken.We did have a few fall outs and we always made up but he has had alot on his plate for the last couple of weeks and being stressed out.He said he still loved me but i cant see why he just wants us to be friends now?..I cant do that because it wouldn't be enough.What shall i do? Im very upset.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2010): My boyfriend of seven years recently dropped that ball in my lap. I don't want to hurt you but in my case I was sure there was someone else (a girl from his work the he only knew for a few months). I decided that I couldn't just be friends just months before we were talking of getting married. This is the most painful thing I have ever gone through, I cry everyday but everyday it gets a little better. You'll be okay without him I promise.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2010): It's obviously too painful for you to be friends at this point in time so i think the best thing for you to do is give him some space. He's been honest with you and told you he only wants to be friends. At least he's not stringing you along like some guys would. Just carry on with your life and don't contact him for a while. If he wants to speak to you then he knows where you are.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 October 2010):
 If he can't give you what you need and it hurts too much to be just friends, then it is best to avoid all contact with him, or at least make minimum contact until you have gotten over him and don't have romantic feelings towards him.
I know it is hard to do, but you can't make someone love you when they don't, and he doesn't love you like a girlfriend. Maybe he at some level has a deep caring for you, but not the way you need it to be for you to be happy. It is best to end it and stop speaking to him. In the future you can be friends, once it is not painful any more.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2010): the best thing to do is have no contact with him. your probably feel like you cant live without him your miss him badly etc and want to text/call/e.mail nonstop. but dont. this will only push him away. let him know your happy to be friends only agree with the split, dont let him get sex from you as well otherwise he will end up useing you and let it be a friendship only but let him contact you first. if he does and you meet up as friends then stay cool and carm dont beg him to get back with you and let him know your fine with the split and happy to be single for now. it takes the pressure off him and if he is under stress and finds your a good friend he will stay in touch with you. maybe after that in time your find he may want to get back with you or he may not so dont get your hopes up, just get on with your life as normal. dont text him etc let him make first move. i forgot to log in but im blonde 30s.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (16 October 2010):
 The classic 'let's be friends' line after a sexual relationship actually means 'goodbye'...or worse 'may I dangle you on a bit of string for random sex whilst I find someone else to love'...
People can't actually say the true meanings because they want to avoid looking like an insensitive douch!
Do yourself a marvellously huge favour and cut off immediate contact...it's going to hurt like hell for a while, but you will keep your dignity and self esteem intact and feel the wonderful power of taking control of the situation. He is done with the relationship, why prolong the agony any longer when it wont make one bit of a difference to the outcome.
You will also avoid being used for further sex by him or as a 'time filler' when he's bored...heavens! who needs to be used like that??
Relationships of all lengths shapes and sizes are ending and beginning every day, women tend to cling out of fear of loneliness, but it's just prolonging the suffering.
Treat a break up like an illness, be nice to yourself, avoid the cause, and get over it as soon as you can.
Chin up darling, life goes on and so must you xxx
AE x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 October 2010):
He was a lover, never anything else. There has been no commitment, no talk of commitment, and I think basically for two years he's been having his way. If you felt this way, the issue should have been sorted 18 months ago. As it is, there is now no future for you with this guy, and since he doesn't want more, the time has come for you to let him go and move on.
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