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I was born and grew up on a farm on a small Hebridean island. Ours was a community where everyone knew everyone else and helped eachother. My childhood was'nt brilliant due to my mother's alcholism but great when she was off the sauce.
I still retain to this day a strong sense of identity and am fiercely proud of my Gaelic language, culture and heritage. I was brought up to accept people for who they are and what they stand for, not to prejudge and to see clearly and listen to both sides of an argument. My late father was an amazing man who taught me not to rush through life but to set time aside each day and appreciate life and the people around you. He also instilled a fair smattering of basic common sense in me.
I take time daily with my children to teach them what my father taught me and can only hope I can follow in his footsteps.
I have been married to a wonderful man for the last 23 years. We have had many trials and tribulations during this time and have weathered many a bad storm, but have emerged stronger for it all. He has his off days as do I and things are far from perfect, we juggle our bills, raid the penny jar for shopping, I stress about my middle age spread, he worries about his impending baldy patch and we have two teenagers so each day at the moment is a voyage of hormones and tantrums usually, but I love them all to bits. We both work full time and usually socialise with friends when were not zooming off to music lessons, drama group etc with the kids, We are blessed at the moment with good health, we live by the Atlantic ocean in the North West of Scotland and we can fish from the bottom of our garden - it does'nt get better than that! If I feel down or p***** off I sit on a rock and keep the sea company - better than booze or drugs any day!
What make me tick? Well what you see is what you get, no ar**ing about. I am very straight and I will tell it like it is. I try to be as honest and fair with people as I can and I expect them to do the same with me. I hate injustice, bullying and pack hunting, people who bleat and whinge about what a sh88 childhood they had and how everyone alse is to blame for the way things turned out. Get over it and make your mark in life. I always tackle problems head on and do my utmost to get them resolved, no point in burying your head in the sand it only stresses you out and makes you ill. I have a wicked ( says my husband,horrifed at some of the things I find funny ) sense of humour and love a really good laugh. I love my 40's and am finally comfortable with who I am. I firmly believe you make your own destiny regardless of the past. |
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We have financial issues, I'm thinking about finding a sugardaddy!
Q. I am married and have a soon-to-be 6 month old baby. We are starting to have a hard time with finances (just like everyone else in the country). I work full time at home on the farm and part time outside of the home (as needed) and my husband has 2 ...
A. 10 November 2010: Yes, you are crackers to even think of it. So you are in a financial mess, but my darling so is half the planet these days, we set to and sort it properly without rushing out looking for a temperary fix in the shape of a sugar daddy would be. Do not ... (read in full...)
His ex wife is doing everything in her power to get him back!
Q. Hi, my partner and I have been going out for 2 1/2 years we have a wee baby together. He has a 9 year old son with his ex wife, she has been causing un-necessary trouble since we started dating. When I came on the scene the ex wife was seeing ...
A. 10 November 2010: Hi there,
What a horrible witch she is to use the wee lad as a bargaining chip. And to conact Social Services maliciously, what mother could do that! Your partner has been granted access, she cannot stop that unless she feels she has a good rea... (read in full...)
My supervisor complains about me to my co-workers!
Q. There's this supervisor at work that is telling people that I don't attend to her requests as soon as I supposed to. I believe I'm doing my job as I supposed to, I don't think I take too long to go help her dept. I am a computer support at this ...
A. 10 November 2010: Hi there,
Nip this in the bud before this situation really takes a hold and gets unpleasant. I can't see that you have offended her in any way to warrant this very unprofessional behaviour, this most certainly is not your fault in any way. Has... (read in full...)
What can I do about this dilemma without alienating any of my friends?
Q. I have a good friend (We'll call him John - not his real name!) who I have known since college. We've always got on well, and we still see each other on a regular basis and until recently I've always enjoyed us spending time together. The thing is...
A. 8 November 2010: Hi there,
Just tell John you are inviting a limited group of very special, very good friends to this birthday meal one of which is him and that unfortunately in this instance does not include Steve this time. Tell him you have given a great de... (read in full...)
Controlling b/f texts me 200 times a day?
Q. Hi, and thanks for reading my post. I've always been a happy person, smiling,laughing enjoying my life lately I'm tired, headaches, a tad down. I'm sure its because of my turbulent relationship. It started like a dream come true. He was charming,...
A. 8 November 2010: Bail out now darling and find someone who will love and appreciate you without all the hassle. This man sounds emotionally screwed up, he is trying to control and manipulate you to his own ends and this is not healthy at all. Obviously something ... (read in full...)
Penis is too short for sex!
Q. Ladies, would you seriously consider having an ongoing sexual relationship with a guy whose erect penis isn't long enough to reach the end of your vagina? By 'end', I mean the point at which anything longer would cause a longitudinal stretch. Is s...
A. 7 November 2010: Hi Sweets,
Its not the length but what you can do with it so size definately should not be an issue. Not every woman, fortunately is obsessed with length and I think most men average around 4-7 inches so you're perfectly fine. My ex was fairly s... (read in full...)
My 10 year old doesn't want to meet her long lost father!
Q. I had my daughter when I was 15 years old. I'm now 25 and she is a beautiful ten year old who is now in the sixth grade (she skipped a grade because she's a smart cookie!). Her father, unfortunately, decided not to be part of her life (or mine, f...
A. 7 November 2010: Hi sweets,
First of all, well done you on coping with all of this at such a young age and doing such a great job with your daughter against some terrible odds. You should should be very proud of all you have achieved so far.
Your daughter... (read in full...)
Drug overdoses in Canada... I'm looking for statistics. Can anyone help?
Q. I recently lost someone from a drug overdose. I'm trying to find out how many people die yearly from drug-overdoses in Canada, but I cant find anything. There are loads of articles but no statistics. If you have any information or how to find it, ...
A. 24 October 2010: Hi Sweetheart,
First of all let me say how very sorry I am for the loss of your friend and under such horrible circumstances. Drugs are such an insidious part of our lives these day wherever we live. The problem in this country is horrendo... (read in full...)
He wants to "catch" me with another woman, but I don't want any part of it! will I lose him?
Q. I have a bit of a problem at the moment. Me and my partner have been together for thirteen years or so now and we have a really good relationship. I mean sex is not always regular due to having three children and both or us working, but he has a ...
A. 24 October 2010: Hi there,
This seems to be a general male fantasy and that's usually ALL it is for the majority of men. I had more or less the same thing with my husband about 10 years ago after 12 years together and it came to nothing. I think when you have bee... (read in full...)
Attention deficit disorder or just plain abuse?
Q. I really need some help here. My fiance (or ex fiance - we ended it last night) is ADD and a month ago we moved in together although he is still in the same house with me and my 3 kids. Everything I say gets shot down in flames. I am always the pe...
A. 24 October 2010: Hi Sweets,
You said you broke up last night so therefore you have seen the light. After surviving an abusive marriage do you really want to find yourself in the same situation again?.
Concentrate on your kids and take some time out for YOU beca... (read in full...)
I don't want my sadness to be selfish!
Q. I met my wife when i was 30, she was 39. We have spent the past 15 years in what our closest friends call the perfect love. I am, however, feeling very depressed about the timing of our love. We did not get to have children together because she had ...
A. 24 October 2010: Hi there,
I dont think you are selfish for one moment. It must have been a horrible time for you both going through the cancer and treatment.
You have something very very special together, a true and enduring love for one another and in t... (read in full...)
My boyfriend sulks and refuses to talk to me!
Q. After any sort of argument we have my boyfriend will sulk and not talk to me. One example back in May was when we had a minor disagreement over something he blanked me and then i suggested we met up to talk things over, that pushed him further into ...
A. 24 October 2010: Hi there,
COMPLETELY agree with Auntie BimBim, sensible woman.
He loves these situations, pure and simple because he has you running ragged after him. Call his bluff and leave him to get cool in the skin he got hot in. He is a petulant spoilt ... (read in full...)
How can I stop being a menstrual bitch?!
Q. It's my time of the month at the moment and I am being such a miserable cow. All I want to do it sit on the sofa, watch tv and eat Chinese food and chocolate cake. The worst thing is that I'm being so horrible and mean to my boyfriend. He's ...
A. 23 October 2010: Hi sweetheart,
You have my heartfelt sympathy. It is not pleasant feeling like a ravening beast and snarling at your nearest and dearest. Been there done that and got the tee-shirt. My daughter is going through something similar and we have bee... (read in full...)
I'm ashamed for people to know that I'm attracted to big women!
Q. Hi, Over the last couple of years I have been very attracted to big women but havent told anyone about it. Its my deepest secret and I have a huge problem with it. I am attracted to all women but there is just something about a big woman that m...
A. 23 October 2010: Hi sweets,
You have to be true to yourself. The media have a lot to answer to by promoting stick thin models and villifying anyone over a size 8, branding them as as fat. They encourage the public to look down and sneer at anyone who doesnt f... (read in full...)
My boyfriend complains that I am not pulling my weight!
Q. My relationship is on the verge of breaking... or I think ...and the sad thing is that I am not sure how to fix it or if it can be fix at all. The thing is that I moved in to another city to be with my bf about a year ago. About 6 months ago, I ...
A. 23 October 2010: Hi sweetheart,
You do not need the added stress of housework hassle from an immature spolit brat who should know better. Sorry love, but it sound like his Mummy has catered to his every whim while he was at home and now he expects you to do the s... (read in full...)
We think she has become an attention whore!
Q. I have known my best friends, "Yve" and "Kali" for my entire live. I'm the youngest of our trio however I was always the most "Mother Hen-ish", but as recently as two years ago Yve became much more independant than always clinging onto me. At fir...
A. 23 October 2010: Hi there,
It really sounds that you are the dominant friend in this relationship and you really dont like it when your friend asks for advice outwith your sphere because YOU want to be in control. She seems to be asserting herself and her char... (read in full...)
Dating a cop who behaves very strangely, should I flee??
Q. I am dating a cop... started out great, he told me he was crazy about me - dated a few months, we were very much into each other and things turned REALLY weird. On one date, he actually was a complete jerk -I purchased expensive tix to a football ...
A. 19 October 2010: Bail out and find someone nice and uncomplicated that will truly appreciate you.
You have far too much going on in your life to worry about a spoilt brat that throws stravallachs every time you don't agree with him, so draw a line in the sand, step... (read in full...)
I want to be more comfortable with my curves! Any ideas?
Q. i know its a girl thing to have self esteem issues, but i alway feel really inscure about my weight.I know im not huge but im not small either Im trying to change but i have two jobs and its hard. I just dont know how anyone could be attracted to a ...
A. 17 October 2010: Hi Sweetheart,
Be proud of your curves! You are as God made you. You would be surprised at the high % of guys that are attracted to larger ladies. I moan about my weight but my health is spot on and I can still haul my carcass up mountain... (read in full...)
I don't want to have to accept this child
Q. I am a 26 year old female married for 4 years now to my husband. We have a 4 and 1/2 year old daughter as well as a 3 year old daughter. Yesterday, I found out that due to a one night stand with another woman, there is now a 5 yr old little girl ...
A. 17 October 2010: Hi sweetheat,
You both must be going through hell at the moment. Of course you're going to feel devastated and resentful of the situation. Its a bolt out the blue and you need time to come to terms with it.
Why has'nt this woman got in tou... (read in full...)
Conference Call During Dinner Date Bad, or Wife Overreacting?
Q. What's the word out there on a husband who suggests an early dinner to his wife. ; she says she's not very hungry but will keep him company and enjoy a glass of wine. Food is ordered and husband announces he is expecting a phone call. Turns ou...
A. 16 October 2010: Hi there,
What an inconsiderate and utterly rude spoilt brat, how DARE he turn the situation around and blame her. She should give him a taste of his own medicine and see how he'd like waiting around for half an hour. Of course he should have tol... (read in full...)
He hits me saying its the only way I'll shut up
Q. Hi i just would like some advice from someone i have been with my partner for 4years and we have child that is 5months but he is really horrible sometimes and hits me he say it is the only way i will shut up and i feel like i deserved it i want to ...
A. 16 October 2010: Hi there,
Youwish has it spot on, get out of there and now before he starts on the child or using him/her to blackmail you and keep you "in your place". There is a child in the equation that you as a mother have to put first and foremost and thin... (read in full...)
My kids are Jekyll and Hyde
Q. Hi there, I just really want to know how other parents cope with teens. My two are 16 and 13 and they can be utterly horrendous at times which we have put down to hormones and try to deal with it the best we can. My husband and I seem to spend th...
A. 16 October 2010: Hi to all that responded, especially yours ohgetreal, thank you so much.
Cindycares & annonymous, thank you also.
I am at the stage where I am tearing my hair out and no it is not meant to sound "cute" and they are not adorable rascals, not... (read in full...)
My daughter cries every night before she has to go back to her mothers.
Q. My daughter cries every night before she has to go back to her mothers. Her mother physically and verbally abuses her on a constant basis, She gets slapped around the face and dragged down the stairs. I have followed every legal course of action to ...
A. 15 October 2010: Hi there,
This is an utterly appalling situation. Why is nothing being done and what are Social Services playing at? Has anyone else witnessed this abuse and if so why havent they intervened?
It sounds like she may have mental health issues as... (read in full...)
I'm cold toward my wife and need to get the love back!
Q. Hi, we have been married for 11 years and have two beautiful daughters. My question is that my wife is not or rather seem not to be interested in sex. Whenever I get close to her or try to make a move towards having sex she shrugs me off and says ...
A. 14 October 2010: Hi there,
It could be that your wife is afraid of sex. Did she have a traumatic time when giving birth? Was she depressed after it and maybe still is? You really need to sit down and seriously discuss this with her as it could be any number o... (read in full...)
Why do you answer to these questions?
Q. I just want to know something, why do you guys answer to these people? what do you plan to get out of it? do you think "God" will reimburse you for your efforts and "love"? do you feel better by helping others you don't know? I really don't see any ...
A. 13 October 2010: If you don't see the point of this then why on earth are you on this site? Superiority complex? or just a Billy no mates? Welcome to the body of the kirk.... (read in full...)
Friend is being deployed to Afghanistan -- how to stay in touch?
Q. A friend is being deployed to Afghan for 6 months next year and to be honest i'm terrified. I have no experience with this kind of thing and am completely lost as to what to expect. I know you can write letters etc... but i don't know how long it ...
A. 12 October 2010: Hi Sweetheart
A relative of mine is out there at the mo for the 3rd time.
Its a war zone so yes, there are risks and of course its dangerous, however you have to stay positive and remember each day that passes is a day nearer to him coming home.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's ex died 7 months ago and I feel he is just stringing me along
Q. Here it goes. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. His ex-girlfriend, who found out she had leukemia about a month before they broke up (about 2 years ago) passed away about 7 months ago. My boyfriend still talks about her, and o...
A. 12 October 2010: Hi Sweetheart, The death of someone close is always hard to deal with, but with someone so young it can feel like the end of the world. You did a wonderful and selfless thing by supporting him during these last days of her illness. I think... (read in full...)
I am questioning my husbands commitment and ability to be an adult
Q. I am questioning my relationship with my husband and his commitment to me. I feela s though his selfishness is getting in the way of our relationship. I have a 7 year old son who my husband has adopted and helped raise and my husband is very close ...
A. 12 October 2010: Hi there, You really need to sit down with your husband in a neutral environment and discuss both your problems rationally. You mentioned that your husband is into bodybuilding,does he take steroids? If he does it could account for his moody an... (read in full...)
Co-worker offered sex for money!
Q. Not sure what to make of this. I was involved with a woman from work earlier this year. She ended things and went back to her ex and has been hot and cold with me ever since (she's generally nice to me when she wants something). She's been invol...
A. 12 October 2010: Eeeeeek, she sounds like she is in serious financial meltdown if she is offering herself like this. If you really want to help her maybe get in touch with your company councillor if you have one, or a debt councillor to set up a meeting with this ... (read in full...)
My fiance is very controlling!
Q. My fiance is a very dominating person.. he tries to control me.. he has a problem with all of my male friends.. he manipulates me..i tend to compare this relationship with my past relationships and i am afraid to say that the past relationship was ...
A. 11 October 2010: Hi there,
Sounds like you need to leave and now while you still have a mind of your own. Control freaks only get worse as they gain more and more control of a person until they have dominated them completely, mind and body and there is no escap... (read in full...)
Should I try smoking?
Q. smoking should i try it or not? cause i want to. hi, this question isnt about relationship, i already posted one aobut that, anyway, i want to try somking but im only 14 some its not like i can go out and buy them or say to my parents " i want...
A. 11 October 2010: To the annonymous writer of the last post.
"You don't get addicted after 1 or even 100 cigarettes, like one of my friends smoked".
?????? Are you serious??? You may have been lucky enough to think it was revolting but think of the countless ki... (read in full...)
Can I deal or stay with my jealous wife?
Q. my wife gets jealous every time she thinks im looking at a woman . the crazy part is that i will see her look a a girl or woman walking on even in her car and after she sees her she will look at me intell she passes to see if i look that way. what ...
A. 10 October 2010: Hi there,
I was very concerned reading your problem. First and foremost get your children out of this appalling situation and NOW before they get badly hurt or worse. Have your parents or hers look after them until you both get this problem ... (read in full...)
How can I get my mum to back off? She is so over-protective!
Q. My mother is obsessive and calls me literally 20 times in a 5 hour period if I go out to meet friends, even if I do answer. I don't get it, I don't do anything I shouldn't and rarely even drink, and I've repeatedly proven I can be trusted. In spite ...
A. 10 October 2010: Hi there,
It's very hard in this day and age for mums not to worry regardless of how old you are. You did'nt say if you called your mum to let her know about the trains, maybe if you had she would'nt have reacted the way she did. Don't forget w... (read in full...)
Sex with my wife is just going through the motions for her..why?
Q. I have been married to my wife for 25 years and over the last 5 years or so sex has become at best sporadic. My wife, as opposed to me, has never had a particularly high sex drive, but it is getting to the stage now that sex is so infrequent that my ...
A. 10 October 2010: Hello there,
How awful you both must be feeling over this. I put my lovely caring husband through similar hell until I was diagnosed with an early (aged 35) menopause. I honestly thought I was going mad - this is due to lack of oestragen, complete... (read in full...)
Should I try smoking?
Q. smoking should i try it or not? cause i want to. hi, this question isnt about relationship, i already posted one aobut that, anyway, i want to try somking but im only 14 some its not like i can go out and buy them or say to my parents " i want...
A. 10 October 2010: Hi there,
Before you put that first cigarette to your mouth, here are a couple of facts. I have teenagers of my own and this is EXACTLY what I told them lest they ever be tempted by cigarettes.
Tobacco kills!! Simple! If you dont believe me ... (read in full...)
Do men like imperfect breasts?
Q. Hi I just got done reading on of the questions on here about if men are surprised by the look of a womans breasts when they take there bra off so now I have a question of my own I'm 33 have had 4 kids and I have 36 D breasts so they are heavy and ...
A. 5 October 2010: Hi Honey
Nope, he's not lying if he's anything like my husband. 23 years together, 2 teenagers, I'm 43 and boobs heading southward quicker migrating geese but hey my husband still thinks they are the best thing since sliced bread so who am I to ... (read in full...)
How do they manage to sleep at night, tormenting others all day?
Q. Hey all. I need to talk to someone about this. Today I gave notice in my job and I feel utterly deflated. Having been in the job for less than a year, everyday in that office has been a living HELL - to put it mildly. Despite being qualified...
A. 28 September 2010: Hi there,
It sounds like she has been given enough rope to hang herself. Maybe the bosses were waiting for this opportunity and hopefully you can retract your resignation. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY WITH THIS OUTCOME she has brought this upon herself ... (read in full...)
Advice and such because its torturing
Q. Okay so i guess i have a serious issue and i just want to get past this stage and no longer remember it because I have thoroughly regretted it long enough and each day wished it was different. so here goes. I am a male currently 18 years old and...
A. 26 September 2010: Hello honey,
Please don't torture yourself anymore. It is PERFECTLY natural for teenagers to experiment, they have been doing it since the beginning of time and will probabaly do it till the end of time. Your cousin seems cool with it and so s... (read in full...)
My ex, who says he wants to get dating other girls out of his system, wants to date girl number two. What do I do?
Q. So 3 months ago I caught my (ex)-boyfriend of 2 years (we started dating when he was 18, now he's 20 and I am 4 years older than him and 24) flirting with another girl (let's call her Girl #1--she happens to be your atypical "hot girl"). After a ...
A. 26 September 2010: Hi There,
Good grief!!!! He wants to have his cake and eat it not only that but make a bloomin great trifle out of the remains. Yes by all means allow him to entertain himself, but DO NOT put yourself down and let him come back once hes had his ... (read in full...)
How do they manage to sleep at night, tormenting others all day?
Q. Hey all. I need to talk to someone about this. Today I gave notice in my job and I feel utterly deflated. Having been in the job for less than a year, everyday in that office has been a living HELL - to put it mildly. Despite being qualified...
A. 26 September 2010: Hi there, My blood was boiling as I read your problem. The unfairness of it all. People like this pathetic excuse are making life difficult for you becaue they are jealous and insecure. Jealous of your qualifications, personality,the ... (read in full...)
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