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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: GUYS ONLY PLEASE I mean this, because girls view the world in a totally different way, and they all THINK they know what guys are thinking and the reasons behindd their actions, but are usually wrong. A girl asking for insight into a guy's mind, and getting another girl's perspective, is the blind leading the blind. Girls, you don't know any better than I do what he's thinking. So, GUYS-- would you ever show your friends nude photos of your wife or girlfriend? If not, why. Is it: a) Because you respect and value her body/privacy. b) Because you wouldn't want your friends to get any ideas about her? Thank you for respecting my request that only males respond. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (21 October 2010):
 I suppose the point isn't WHY he showed the pictures then, it's that he lied to you.
No fetish can explain away a betrayal. Plain and simple. You are looking for something to explain why he HAD to do this, that sharing a photo is a common male behavior.
Even the guys who didn't call it a fetish said they only shared pictures of girls they had split from or didn't care much about, and that they wouldn't do it to someone they loved.
The easiest way to NOT have this happen is not to take 'em in the first place. The internet has made this so dangerous. These photos can really curtail future careers and goals in the wrong hands. What would your (future) husband and kids say? Just Say NO Ladies!!!
BTW, OP, we post for All the readers out there, not just the Original Poster. We do it to steer others in the right direction. Just trying to be helpful!!!
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female
reader, smiliek  +, writes (20 October 2010):
 OP thats fair. I trust my fiance on this, he's too protective and jealous to a point (doesnt like other guys viewing me in that light) so i doubt he'd show photos of me knowing the reaction he'd get. Plus he's not the exhibitionist type. Sorry to hear that your bf betrayed your trust. Is he into sex with the chance of getting caught or anything like that as well? Just wondering if he is one of those guys who has that kinda fetish. Showing other guys photos of you is risky. So is having sex where ppl could see you. I wonder how he'd feel if you showed photos of him around...
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSmilieK--I appreciate your input, but in all honesty--my boyfriend told me the same thing, many times...I found out from a mutual friend that he had revealed our private pics. I'm not saying your fiance is lying, I'm just saying you don't know... responses from anonymous males on this board are more trustworthy.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (19 October 2010):
 Me again, with a rebel yell...giving women a bad reputation, heh heh
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male
reader, TimmD +, writes (19 October 2010):
 Yes, there are men who are in to showing pictures as sort of a fetish. The question is, are YOU the type of woman who enjoys having their partner show nude pictures of you to people?
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female
reader, smiliek +, writes (19 October 2010):
i may be a girl responding also, but i asked my fiance your question. His answer is 'both a and b, and also because i dont want anyone else seeing you. I wouldn't show anyone nude photos of you'
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010): Fetish or not. It is not justified. You can have certain fantasies and still address them with your partner respectfully and he go goes overboard and should be thrown overboard by you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010): I gave all the female posts here 5 stars just for bucking the system :)
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female
reader, raiders +, writes (19 October 2010):
 I simply can't understand how a women giving her opinion gives her a bad reputation. If the response was about the subject and she shared her view on it without being disrespectful, why the attack to her post.
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male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (19 October 2010):
 Your follow-up question...
If you can imagine a fetish, chances are it already exists, participants including swingers, exhibitionists and others as well.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (18 October 2010):
 Lmao, love the tampon bit. Let explain what I meant, I have a lot of guy insight I suppose you can say due to the tons of male friends I have..No topic is off limits, so if I were to answer your question I honestly would have said the same as the males above. But I think outside the box and consider all sides..So my point is your question could have been answered by women. Not all but some.
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female
reader, xanthic +, writes (18 October 2010):
 If he did that, he didn't respect you enough to care about your privacy or what the impact might have been. It doesn't matter if he had a fetish for it, it's still disrespectful when done without your approval.If you're willing to discredit a valid answer offered by a woman simply because it's not exactly what you wanted, you're definitely not a feminist in any sense of the word. Some women are perceptive enough to learn, through experience, what some men may or may not be thinking in a certain situation. The same is true in reverse, some men have the ability to understand what some women are thinking. Sometimes it's just common sense.There's no need to get annoyed over it and throw around insults, it's the internet and people will offer their opinion regardless of whether it was asked for, regardless of gender. It would be wise to be open to all points of view, instead.
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female
reader, kirra07 +, writes (18 October 2010):
Yes, I'm a girl, but replying with my boyfriend's answer to your question.
He says he probably wouldn't show his friends naked pics, because it isn't their business. And he'd be much more likely to show perfect strangers the naked pics because it's less personal and he/we are/have been in the swinging lifestyle, so it turns him on to have others see me or us. But he wouldn't show the pics without my consent.
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (18 October 2010):
 When I posted my posts (wonderful English), your update was not yet on the site and I didn't see it.
To answer your question, yes, some guys could feel aroused by showing their buddies pictures of their girls nude. In fact, that is exactly the situation described in the book I mentioned. Some guys want other guys to think that Mr. Showing Pictures is having the time of his life.
I am inclined to believe, however, that most often the guy showing the pictures of his girlfriend/wife to others just wants to brag about how great a stud he is. "For you to envy me, see who I am sleeping with! And she lets me take pictures of her." This is in poor taste, disrespectful, et cetera. Even if it makes you aroused, you should consider the effect on the woman. No one wants pictures of himself-herself circulating among buddies.
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (18 October 2010):
 To answer your follow up question. Yup, those guys exist. In fact, the wife of one was here asking if it was normal. I remember he wanted her to show off her body. He would get aroused when people checked her out. He loved it and encouraged her exhibitionism. She started to like it too. So yes. Absolutely there are some guys who get off on their significant others being oggled by other guys.
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male
reader, Ven +, writes (18 October 2010):
No, I wouldn't do it. I love and respect my wife, and I don't think I could justify that in any way. Guys who do it are degrading their women to status symbols, to marks on a scoreboard, or to a commodity.
In my mind, sharing pics of your woman with others gets you to the same circle of hell that cheating does. Basically, all the same emotional damages get done when she finds out about it.
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male
reader, TimmD +, writes (18 October 2010):
Guys will never post nude pictures of a woman they LOVE or care about. Both of your reasons are good reasons, but the main reason is more along the lines of being possessive. Yeah, it sounds caveman-like... but it's true.
If a guy is willing to show people naked pictures of his wife or girlfriend, he's most likely not emotionally invested. In that case it's more of gloating about a conquest. Telling his friends "I got THAT."
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): I would never show any pics of my gf or wife to anyone simply because our relationship is private and no one else's business, esp our sex life. I respect a womans body and her privacy and one of the first rules i have for myself when in a relationship.
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male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (18 October 2010):
Oh, I didn't notice you were a girl. Maybe "The Girl in Question", trying to figure out why the hell Mr. Boy in Question did that?
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male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (18 October 2010):
Trying to be respectful, this reminds me of a book by Mario Vargas Llosa that a friend of ours read aloud for our benefit. In the story in question, the wife had this wonderful piece of ass (Spanish ass, of course), and the man didn't mind if other men looked at her, just so they would picture him with her.
I think this is fine only as a story. Why would you want to show nude pictures of your girl to anyone else?
Sorry if I'm judgmental.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): I wouldn't show a current gf/wife's pictures to anyone, but after we've broken up and the feelings have gone away I have shown a few friends a few ex's.
I respect my current gf so would never show anyone pics I have whilst we're together; and never to people who may bump into her in the future.
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male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (18 October 2010):
a)
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, GUYS--for your valuable advice. Much appreciated. Let me pose this question to you: We all know how many different types make this world go round...is it possible (just possible,) that some guys have certain fettishes that make them aroused at the thought of others looking at their wives? Swingers, exhibitionists, etc... And a guy's willingness to share private photos stemns more from his kinky quirks than from any real abundance of or lack of emotion for her? Girls who "couldn't resist commenting," I'm every bit the feminist, but it's girls like you who give women a bad reputation... just needing to share your opinion even when it isn't solicited or valuable. It's just annoying is all... I agree that the word ALL is never appropriate, so yes I take that back, and revise it to *some* women think they know what guys are thinking. Tennistar, girls who have "lived through" the same situation do not offer me anything....I am seeking insight into his mind...what he told them is often far from the truth... A girl trying to say what guys are thinking and feeling about a certain situation is the same as a guy giving you advice on which tampons work best. It's just bogus and contributes nothing.
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male
reader, Odds +, writes (18 October 2010):
 I have some pictures, and have kept them to myself, even though that particular ex hurt me pretty badly. I do this partly out of respect for others' privacy, but mostly out of respect to myself. I don't want to be "that guy" who does that sort of thing, and wouldn't even if I had lost all respect for her and others.
Option (B) is basically a non-issue. Whether they get ideas or not has nothing to do with naked picutres; forunately, I have friends I can trust.
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male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (18 October 2010):
If anything, it would be for OUR privacy. Judging by experience, I would assume that those pictures would be exclusively for my eyes only.
There is one exception to this rule: if my wife/gf was a nude model for artists or photographers. At that stage, assuming they were on display in some gallery someplace, then what's the difference of me showing them or them going into that gallery -- none... but that's the outside corner case here.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (18 October 2010):
Couldn't resist commenting..OP you need to correct your statement to "some" not "all"...I don't try to read into men's action and try to decipher what they're thinking because frankly I don't give a shit. Also, another correction to your statement, if women offer you advice on men or an opinion it's because they've been in that situation numerous times...Advice or an opinion is never wrong. If women could read men's minds, we would rule the world. But no one is a mind reader, sorry.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (18 October 2010):
Just had to respond, it's the rebel in me.
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male
reader, mrvhappy  +, writes (18 October 2010):
Hi,
This sounds like a loaded q...lol
For me it has to be both a and b.
Also, I dont treat my partner like a peice of meat..so I want to be the only one looking at her nake form I dont want my mates to be seeing what i do ;). For me it breaks the privacy boundaries. (she doesnt go naked/topless on the beach)
Just out of interest why do you ask the q?
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (18 October 2010):
Hmmm, well, it most definitely wouldn't be option B. Here's why. Guys have vivid imaginations when it comes to picturing the opposite sex without their cloths on. Plain and simple, they've already "seen" her naked without me ever having to show them a picture. A lot of guys do this, and the more attractive a woman is, the more likely we've pictured her naked. Besides, it's not hard given the fact that so many cloths these days leave little to the imagination in the first place.
Would I show my friends nude pics of my GF? Probably not. Those are for me and me alone to enjoy. It's bad enough that they are already picturing her naked in their heads, I don't need to give them something that they'll actually recall each time they see her. And they will.
So, it's partially A. It's also due to the fact that she's mine, and I don't want to share her, especially naked her, with others. I can deal with their imaginations, that's unavoidable, but I can avoid showing them those pics, so I will.
NOW
After a breakup. Most of the time, all bets are off. Personally, I'd keep them as momentos of the relationship and honor her privacy. BUT there is nothing stopping most guys from posting them on the web as revenge. Once they are out there, they are there forever. Guys love these things, but they can really backfire for you if you aren't careful.
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male
reader, doublejack +, writes (18 October 2010):
For me, the bottom line on this question is whether I sincerely care or whether I view the relationship as more casual (or even temporary). Assuming the OP intended this to be about a serious love interest, then no I will not show my friends. Going even further, I don't want women who I care deeply about to even send nude pics to me, or take nude pics of themselves. The reason is because pics can get out too easily, and if I'm thinking LTR with her then that's not something I ever want circulating around (for the respect & value of her body/privacy reason)
Now if we're talking about someone that I don't see myself with for any real length of time, then yes I may show my friends any such pics if they are sent to me.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 October 2010):
It would be both reasons. Firstly, we wouldn't want our girlfriend to get angry and never show herself to us again. Secondly, no man wants his friends ogling his girlfriend only to find one of those friends suddenly tries to make a play for her.
Of course, there are some guys who just don't give a damn and will show the pictures regardless. They're the ones you need to steer clear from.
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