A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This is a very quick question: do you believe a man who is cheating on his wife but who tells upfront the woman is cheating with that he is in a relationship and "he can't leave her" and, when asked if he is happy, will reply "I think so" ? Is this man really happy with his wife ? I would prefer mostly male readers to answer this question. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (20 October 2010):
 Sirena, (hiya!), I'm just stating the facts. Apparently our poster was told by her man that he won't leave his wife.
A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (20 October 2010):
 I don´t understand how you can love someone and do something that would destroy them emotionally.
I could never forgive an act of unfaithfulness.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (19 October 2010):
Sorry, but, yes, it happens all the time. Where I live, it used to be the rule for nearly every man (it was like that in other countries, too).
The man just wants sex on the side, and he won't leave all he has with his wife, and won't enter the big problem of a divorce, just because he slept around. Sorry to put it this way, but that's the way it is.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (19 October 2010):
 Some guys will cheat no matter how happy they are with their girlfriend or wife. Some guys only cheat if something's missing from their marriage (like a good enough sex life). Other guys find the thought of cheating even in a bad situation repulsive.
But, yes, the guys you describe exist. With these types, there's really no way to cheat-proof your marriage, and the only indicator they would ever give would be a history of infidelity. I hope you're not tangled up with one of those.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010): I was happy for fifteen years with my ex wife in every aspect of our marriage except our sex life.when we had sex it was fantastic and she really enjoyed it, but sometimes it would be months between. I cheated on her with around ten other women, simply to have sex,because I loved her and didnt want to split with her. eventually though I met someone else and really fell for them and we split up.
So yes it is possible
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A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (19 October 2010):
Can a man be happy and still cheat? Sure, but only if he's a dishonest and selfish person. A "good guy" isn't going to cheat if he's happily married.
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (19 October 2010):
 I think he just says he thinks so to make you feel better. But when push comes to shove I think he'll just fall back to the wife. Their relationship may be rocky but it's always going to go up and down in a marriage anyway.
Try reducing any opportunity with you so you can see if he likes you for you and not just to try and get into your pants.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010): The word unhappy in my marriage is basicaly better than sayin "i am selfish and dont mind doin wot would emotionaly destroy me if my wife did the same." The woman may convince herself otherwise... BUT....if she wasnt sexualy available,there would be no reason to cheat on the woman who's cookin his meal whilst he pops round for a a screw. He then goes home to the woman he loves and tells his knock off they dont have sex. Thats true,they dont. They make love instead.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010): Yes, men and women cheat for a lot of reasons. Sex, fun, thrill of cheating, risk, physical things (breasts, penises, hips, waists, voices, etc).
They don't have to be unhappy.
They may have lost respect for the partner that they are cheating on for whatever reason, or lost control of their impulses, or have lost respect for themselves, and they may be very unhappy as well.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010): I believe people cheat is because there is some aspect of the relationship that is missing. It doesn't necessarily mean he's not happy. I agree that the guy probably told ya the truth.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010): I am in a relationship with a girl who has been with a few married men. The last one was before me. He was very clear up front that it was a FWB thing only, and he had no intention of leaving his wife. When my GF asked him why, he said because "she is my partner, and will always be there for me, no matter what". He had had 3 other affairs before my GF, and his wife knew about at least one of them. He travels, so they are apart. I guess he felt justified in having affairs since he is away from his wife so much...maybe they had an "arrangement". But my GF hates men who have affairs when things are "OK" at home. To me, a truly happy man doesn't stray. So the real question is what makes the man "happy"? For many men, stability and dependability is all they need to be happy, and then they get their needs met elsewhere. Not much of a man with honor or to be respected, but there you have it. A true, unbiased story.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (19 October 2010):
 I think he has probably told you the truth. Guys are simple and straightforward; especially after they have already gotten what they wanted.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (19 October 2010):
More often than not the men are very happy in their marriages. That's why they don't leave. They have one woman doing the cooking, laundry, child rearing etc, and the other woman on the side for the thrill. The woman on the side is just that - the woman on the side who is used.
There are of course men who are unhappy. But the number isn't as high as it seems. 70% of divorces are started by women, showing the more women are unhappy overall. And roughly the same number of women say their biggest regret is marrying the wrong man, compared to something like 35% of men.
Basically, a man who says he's unhappy in his marriage but is happy to cheat is a liar. A man saying he is happy in his marriage and just wants sex is telling the truth. That doesn't make it right though. Got to pity the poor wife.
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