A
male
age
41-50,
*hatguy1224
writes:my wife and I met when we were 12, started dating at 13 got married at 20 and I'm 32 now. All of our friends envy us, her friends say I'm the best guy, I do everything for her she never complains. I'm not like a lot of guys, she always comes first. The problem is she don't show me no interest she never cuddles with me or shows me any attraction, we only have sex like 1 time a month but when we do she is the best, she is real kinky, its not that she never got to experience nothing because in our 20ies we did lots of things. I guess you could say we were swingers or she was a swinger I watched a lot. I just don't know what to do I give her everything but it seems she has no sexual interest in me, please help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010): My fiance and I had a discussion about what % of a relationship sex is. I said about 30% .. there is communcation, trust, goals, enjoying each others compaany ... there are so many things that make up a relationship. However, i also said, if you arnt getting any within the relationship, it could become 100% .. why ? Because if you are lacking in any area within the relationship it does become a big deal.
The impression that I got from your post is that she is bored.
You need to have a serious romantic weekend, to get back in touch with each other. Candles, bubblebaths, fireplace, massages, simple dinner with some wine ( or alot of wine )... ALL WEEKEND LONG ... if she isnt interested in you, because now you have tapped into her emotionaly and sensualy, so if she isnt into you physicaly during that kind of weekend ... you have much bigger issues at hand.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010): I hit the same plateau after 20 years of a relationship myself. I faced years of rejection when it came to intimacy. we had sex a little more often than you, but it still was planned, quick and she never did anything except the same routine we did for decades. we never really sowed out oats like you (well, she) did, so I think she maybe didn't know any better. Unfortunately, I went outside my marriage, and it is over now. I say unfortunately, because, while we did the counseling thing, we could have maybe worked harder at getting it back. Fortunate tho, because I am with a partner who is 10 times more compatible with me, sexually and emotionally.But I strongly reccommend talking to a counselor. Marriages don't need to die because of a lack of sex. It's a faily common problem, and commonly remedied.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (19 October 2010):
Talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel. You need to be honest with her, because if you're not this will only get worse. You need to talk to her about it and see what she says.
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