A
female
age
36-40,
*andiapple01
writes:Before I got into a relationship with my current bf, he told me that if he ever ends up with someone, he would ask for a prenup. He told me he did not want the relationship to be based on money, and that he does not have a lot himself and that tons of women out there have more than him.I am in my mid twenties and bf is 10 years older than I am. We have been dating for a little bit more than a year and recently I just remembered what he said about the the prenup. I don't make a lot more than him, I make 55K and he makes close to 70K. I am not sure how much he has saved in the bank but he does not have his own property and his family does not have a lot. My family has various properties and I know that within the next 3-5 years, I'd most likey make make as much as what he is making now. I think prenup is kind of an insult and I will never sign one. He says that he does not want a relationship to be based on money, but when someone is asking for a prenup, its almost like its based on money. He does not a have a lot and even if I did make more than my significant other and my family has more, I would ever ask my significant other to sign a prenup. I have talked about it before and he never agreed on not making me not sign one if we did end up together. Should I not waste each others time and just break up with him? Or should I just let it be since I'd most likely have more to offer in the end than he does?
View related questions:
money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Ricemonster +, writes (20 October 2010):
 A prenup also protects his family. For example, I take care of my parents whom have worked all their lives, a house mortgage I am paying tediously and painfully and a myriad of other goals I am trying to make. On a superficial level, it may seem like an insult, but on a deeper level, it's a great way to reaffirm the relationship that money should never get in the way.
If my partner ever suggested it, I may feel a tad displeased, but at the same time, it's the one aspect of pride I am willing to let go of, to allow our relationship to blossom and take on to the next level. I would rather a prenuptial be a default upon signing the marriage contract. This sort of enforcement would deter awkwardness in individuals who want it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2010): i definitly agree with caringGuy , nowadays mariages are different , a guy can risk to lose all what he has been workin for, i think a pre-nup is just a way to protect the mariage , coz it will show that u have no intention to leave him ,
...............................
A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (20 October 2010):
 A prenup protects him from all the dangers of modern marriage. It's not a an insult to you; it's sensible protection from the system.Basically, in all 50 states (and, as far as I know, all of Canada), you could decide to leave for no reason at all and take his house, kids, car, and half his money, plus alimoney and child support. Literally, for *no reason at all*. This is true in most cases even if you end up better off than him financially.That might be acceptable if marriage offered him any beneift. You can love outside of marriage, make private commitments, have kids, live together, screw, anything. In marrying someone, a guy takes on a huge risk for zero gain - and every guy has known the feelign of when a woman says "forever" and means "until I get bored." Frankly, he has no way of knowing if you're that type.If you want to marry him, and make him feel great about the marriage, be cooperative and encourging about getting a pre-nup. It will take a lot of stress off both of your minds. It'll show him you have no intention to leave him with nothing more than words ever could. Besides, if you're really unhappy with it, a lot of judges in this country will happily throw out a prenup if the terms are unfavorable to the woman - not sure about Canada on that one.Be happy you're dating a smart man.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 October 2010):
In these days of 40% divorce rates, Pre-nups are now becoming the precedent in marriage, and often for good reason. Only today here in Britain a woman's £100 million inheritance was protected by her pre-nup. Her money grubbing ex husband was attempting to pry no end from her. When they got married, he said it wasn't about money too. So don't be too quick to put them down, as they protect you as well as him.
I find it somewhat interesting that your boyfriend would consider one though. Maybe he's expecting more money to come to him, or maybe he's got some hidden away. Or perhaps he's going to try to place a pre-nup in his favour that you walk away with nothing if it goes wrong.
I think the point here is that he wants one, you don't. When it comes to marriage, he will probably ask for one.If you can't sign it because you don't believe in them, then that will be the end of it. So it's up to you. If you don't want a pre-nup, then it's best to end it. However, like I say, don't be too quick to get rid of the idea. Should you become very successful, it may work in your favour.
...............................
|
