A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Could someone please explain me this?I've been going out with my b/f for over a year now, we're both virgins, and we said that we're going to have sex when I'm ready. Until a few months ago, I was scared to be alone in the same room with him, thinking that he might want to have sex. I wasn't ready whatsoever, so whenever he touched me under my t-shirt or tickled me, I'd push him away. I've never thought of sex like being some big deal, all I'm afraid of is that there wouldn't be anything else to be discovered between us. I masturbate a few times a week. Two months ago, one random evening, I got a weird sensation: for the first time in my life, I felt like I need to actually get some real... thing, if you know what I mean. Physically, my body and my skin were very warm, felt like I had fever. I had that "butterfly" sensation in my stomach. I wanted to get laid right in that moment! I knew that if I got laid that moment, I wouldn't feel sorry after. It was the extreme horny sensation, like never felt before. In the following days, I couldn't focus on anything: work or study. I couldn't stop fantasazing about me having sex with my b/f. My body was still very warm and the bad part was that I tried to get my mind off of it, at least at work, but it wasn't possible.Ever since that moment, I've been wanting b/f to do nasty things to me, I wanted to give him blowjobs in public places, and now, when I come over to his place, I want to have sex really bad.Do you think that was a moment that made me realize that my "clock is ticking" and that my body is ready to have sex? I know it's weird, but that's all I want to know. Thank you so much! :)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): He could be the one! make sure your first time is enjoyable. it wont be perfect but can be nice.
I think the best thing you can do is include some romance... make sure you have a condom (if you ask him to take one it spoils it all), get very close, alcohol helps (but only if its not too much from the norm... and don't drink too much), and seduce him into bed!
Wait for that right moment (it might not happen...) go in for the passionate kiss... make sure you make him slightly uncomfortable like touch him (face, neck, chest, his hair etc. but dont go down there...) and tell him about your experience. Tell him how you cant stop thinking of him. Make sure you have the emphasis of it being like 2 months ago (and not like a week). Then tell him you are ready for him. Take off your clothes. Continue to kiss him... and let it develop.
This gesture is so "hot" and romantic to do towards a guy. He will love it.
Notes to realise before trying it...
1) make sure you can have sex (i.e. the required privacy. Some people wont do it until alone. Some parents/friends etc. will interfere while others would leave you to it - getting caught on your first time is a disaster).
2) Bedroom is ideal, sofa is a possibility.
3) Its an all-night thing. inviting him over (or going to his) and doing this within 15 minutes will backfire. Should be a few hours before making this move and only if you are very close.
4) I know you want sex but when seducing him avoid going straight down there... it comes over as desperate and will get a rejection if its outside his comfort zone (doesn't mean he doesnt want). The idea is after you told him, got naked... he would do the same at his own free will.
5) He is a good guy. He probably thinks of having sex with you all the time (well, few times a week). But he is waiting for you... only when you are ready. This means you have to make the first move and not expect him to as we would never make the move.
Its great that he wont pressure you into sex but also means unless you have the courage to push forward, he will continue to wait for you, and when the relationship becomes stale, move on to someone else.
A
female
reader, marymomnwife +, writes (20 October 2010):
sex/ when ur ready/ is a great way to really connect with the person you love. here are a few steps u can take to really enjoy yourself when u do. always use protection. if u dont u will b thinking you will get prego too soon and that kinda thing can really b stressful if ur not ready 4 motherhood. another r u a virgin. if yes 1st time sex IS going to hurt. mentally prepare for that as well like u may not b able 2 finish. sex brings issues. is he mature enough 4sex. will he brag 2 friends bout it. .u dont want 2 b known as a hoe 4 sex in big time crazy places. had he already been sexually active when u 2 started dating. both of u need std tests to protect urselves. condoms dont stop stds and they CAN break. u might think bout birth control for urself for better protection against pregnancy. talk 2 ur doc bout the best 1 4 u. if u address these issues and u still want to have sex then all i can say is b careful and have fun. ;-)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2010): Only you will know if you are ready to have sex. Sounds stupid and an easy answer to give but it is the honest truth. From what you've said it sounds like you are ready but never let your b/f tell you you are. Talk to each other and decide yourselves and make sure your both ready as if your not your only going to feel guilty after. But sex is fun and should be enjoyed, SAFELY!
Hope it helps x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 October 2010):
If you're wanting sex 'so bad' - then you're pretty much ready. So go have fun.
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