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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have had an unfortunate past of men. Ive dated guys who beat me up then stalked me for months after i left them. I married and had kids with a guy who came out of the closet. And a lot of players. also although im not proud of it but i used to dance. So ive met guys who were married and felt going to clubs was harmless but then after a few beers they are talking about buying sex. Guys showed their true grimey side to me. And although not all guys are bad news, the hand i was dealt only revealed the worst of them. It seems as though you cant leave their side for a minute and they are chasing other girls! I need to know that all guys aren't bad, and what thngs i must deal with... I know that there are some things that make them men and girls should accept some of it. all the extra things like touching another girl i refuse to learn to accept. So this question is open to a variety of a's.. What runs through the typical guy's mind about sexual things and how much do they cheat, or think of cheating?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (20 October 2010):
 If you keep finding bad men, take time out of dating and ask yourself why. Think about how you met these men, what attracted you at first, what kept you with them, and ultimately, what characteristics made them such crap. When you figure that out, change the holes in your dating pattern. Now, as for men: I was once tempted to believe they all thought with their genitals and couldn't be trusted around knotholes. I heard about and witnessed a LOT of heartbreak. Including three married men attempting to "date" me, one of them while I was 14. There are some men who are addicted to sex, some of them made lonely by a loveless/sexless marriage or broken heart, and then, there are those rare ones who truly despise women and subconciously seek to hurt them. Some men are as deceived by the media about sex as we are. They believe having many women make them "real men" and they seek a high self-esteem through sex. Some simply have no control. Male sexuality is as varied as female sexuality. We are all different. xo
A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit +, writes (20 October 2010):
I'm not a man but I once asked a man this question and this is his answer (he agreed 2 let me post): "I'm not a dog but I like looking at girls sometimes that aren't my wife. I don't think I can help that. But, if one of them came up to me and wanted it-I wouldn't do it! I've had that happen a lot-not bragging-and I never take the bait. I came close once cuz me n Jamz were on a rough road but, I love her and I know I'd shoot myself before I hurt her like that. I got friends that don't think cheating is a big deal-oh but they're not friends anymore. They say it's in a man's nature-bullshit! I look at it this way, I'm not a slut. Sex is not something light. It should be about trust and love. You trust your girl not to give you herpes or be a bad mum if you give her your child. You love her enough to trust her completly-with your life! I'm gonna out and get plastic when I got a diamond? HELL NO! If a guy really loves you, you're it for him! He can drool over other chicks but you OWN his love AND lust.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThnks so much for ur honesty and ur good advice/answer. (And ur friend request:) )
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 October 2010):
I've never thought of cheating. To be fair, the opportunity has never presented itself to me, so I won't be able to answer this as well as someone who has cheated. All I can say is that if the opportunity came, that I was a decent enough guy not to do it. I don't think I will.
What goes through a man's head? Many things, because it depends on the guy.
There are the players, for whom cheating is the norm. They don't even think about it.
There are the married men/men in relationships who miss sex. They think about it, but then decide that sex and a relationship can be split, upon which they don't give it a second thought.
There are the married men/men in relationships who feel unloved and cheat.
There are the men who cheat just once and never do it again because they feel so bad.
There are the men who cheat purely for revenge.
Ultimately, take your pick. The thing in common is that it's all about sex for them, and little else.
As for the guys you've chosen, take a good look at type you like. Because if you're always picking crap men, there is a good chance you're attracted to a specific type that is trouble.
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