A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was with my boyfriend for 6 months and in that 6 months i got pregnant but i got so sick and was in hospital for a month and a half. i lost the baby. few months later, out of the blue he breaks up with me over facebook.. for someone else. 2 weeks has passed and he came up today to my house with his new girlfriend. he told me he cheated on me with her and they met when i was in hospital. he said it was my fault that i had a miscarriage and thats why he went to her. he said he stopped loving me because i killed his baby. why would he go out of his way do do that? why walk for a half an hour get a bus and walk for 15 minutes just to say that? another thing, im so hurt by all his actions and i want to hurt him? how do i get even? thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2010): i know you are hurt and what he did to you is so awful. How could anyone in his right mind do that to another human being that he claims he ones loved. I am not saying he didn't love you, but maybe he is too hurt that you lost your baby and he feels so insecure and he acts this way. he tries to hurt you to satisfie his ego, don't act the same way. you know better, you are hurt that doesn't give you the right to hurt him more, you dont want to do what he did to you. after all, the universe will find a way to hurt him the way he did to you. move on with your life and just forget him. its hard but you can do it. am sure.
A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (21 October 2010):
 I'd say it depends on the stuff. If it's replacable, then it would be easier to just let it go. If it is important, than ask for it back.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok thanks everyone who wrote. im feeling much better today. anyway i have to see him again in a few months cause my mam does plays where he work. what should i do? i want him to know that i moved on and know that he means nothing to me. also he wont give me my stuff back. should i just let that go?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 October 2010):
I don't think there is any way of hurting a man who accused you of being responsible for a miscarriage. He's so off in his own world it's unbelievable. And even if there was a way, I'd never say get revenge or hurt him, because you wind up the one looking bad in front of anyone, like a jealous/desperate ex or something.
If I were you, I'd just cut him out and really focus on your own life. You need to get some support from friends and such for your loss, and maybe even counselling. I am sorry for your loss, and you can be sure that the miscarriage was not your fault.
Just don't go looking for revenge. A man who was willing to say what he did is a man you won't hurt. And like I say, you don't want to look like a vindictive bitter ex who can't move on.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (20 October 2010):
Wow, what an asshole. I've tried to not curse here much, but damn, that guy is pure shit in my book.
I know you want revenge for those hurtful things he said, but I think it would be best if you didn't do anything. All revenge does is perpetuate the problem. You get back at him, and he gets back at you, and it goes on and on and on.
You didn't cause yourself to lose the baby. It is probably best that it happened though. Could you imagine your child having such a complete asshole as a father? I sure couldn't.
I don't know why he went out of his way to be so hurtful to you. I don't know if knowing why would help. You've been through a lot, and you may want to talk to a councelor. You lost a relationship, a baby, and had serious health problems. You need to cope with this before you can move on.
Please don't retaliate. People like him tend to get their just desserts eventually. Don't stoop to his level.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (20 October 2010):
 If you do something to try and hurt him, you'll only feel better about it for a little while, then you may end up feeling guilty, making you feel worse.
It's clearly not your fault that you lost your baby, and to be honest, for him to turn round and say that it was your fault, makes him a right wa**er!!!!!
The best thing you can do, is be the better person. Rise above it all and don't let him see that it's hurting you. It'll be hard at first, but worth it in the end when it all goes wrong with her or he realises what a dick he has been and comes crawling back for forgiveness. Then you can laugh in his face.
He doesn't sound like much of a man, so he doesn't even deserve your hate!!! Ignore him, find someone else who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Get rid of every scrap of evidence of him from your life and leave this sorry excuse for a man to end up with nothing and nobody!!
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