A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There's this guy I used to have a massive crush on and now we are going out. The problem is we've got nothing in common and he bores me to death. Another problem is that I've started to have feelings for my friend. He's a really cool guy and is really genuienly nice and kind and I now can't stop thinking about him. I really really want to ask him out but I'm going out with this other guy and don't know how to dump him, another problem is also the fact that I told my friend how I felt about my current boyfriend before we were going out and he seemed really upset. I think my friend has feelings for me but I really don't know but I do know I'm completly in love with my friend and don't want my current boyfriend to get hurt. I know this sounds really confusing but I'm confused! Please help!
View related questions:
crush Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, knaixer  +, writes (22 October 2010):
 LOL!!! (nod nod) I see I see... I love a nice girl like that :D... There is a 3-way-steps to this problem.
1). dump him
There is a way to let him down easy though, find out if he really interested in you... Ask him what part of you he finds interesting... if he can't say beyond your looks or some bs about how you eat and talk... you can say we should see other people. If it's deeper and meaningful(ie ur personality) then he is a good one. You should keep him, but if you insist in dumping him, you can suggest that you are a hyprocrit girl and he is better off. Try to be friend with the guy after if it's too painful for him. And tell him how you first like him etc...
2). test the guy you think is good
Like what "Caring Guy" said, he might be just like the last one. The way to test him is hanging out with him, and after a while, asking him the same question before.
3). Be Happy of whatever the outcomes ^^, You sound really young and innocent, I really like that in a girl. But Don't get too upset over it. Keep being nice and caring girl, but also don't be too nice that it will hurt you and other around you... (paradox, I know :P) It's all about balance. All I'm saying is don't regret the path you chose.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 October 2010):
Don't you think you're jumping a little too fast here? You had a crush on one guy, who you presumably thought was cool and genuinely nice. Now you're going out with him, and he's boring. Then you suddenly decide your friend is cool and genuinely nice. And now you want him.
Just stop and think, otherwise you're going to end up with a bad reputation as a girl who just goes out with guys and then dumps them.
First of all, you need to dump your boyfriend. He's clearly not the guy you think he is, so he's not the one for you. Yes, he will get hurt. And you will be the one who has to hurt him. That's the way dumping works, and it's called taking responsibility. All part of growing up. So sit him down, tell him that he's a really great guy and that he will make a woman very happy, but it won't be you. Then leave him to nurse his heart and don't play games with him. And get on with dumping him, because the longer you leave it, the more he will get hurt.
As for this new guy, just stop and think. Are you sure he's really cool and genuinely nice? Are you sure you want to be with him? Because you don't want to start dating him only to find out that he also bores you to death.
So, get on and dump your boyfriend so he can move on, then think about what you want.
...............................
|
