A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so i am a 19 year old mother of 3. I have a wonderful husband been married almost a year. well a couple of months ago i found out that my husband really good friend was a guy i used to hook up with and eventually fell madly head over heels in love with him and he bounced out on me i was very very very upset got over and met my husband and than my husband said meet my bestfriend from school and i couldnt believe my eyes it was him. so we started talking again and than just recently we slept together and he told me he was in love with me and now i dont know what to do because i have fully never gotten over him what do i do
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (23 October 2010):
We gave you help! We said stop the affair! So what's with the drama queen act? And how can you be a good mother when you're having an affair with your husband's best friend who dumped you! Parents and spouses like you are the worst people! You drag innocent lives into your own little worlds. We gave you advice. You get home to your marriage and you work on it. But don't sit there with the teenage drama queen act when we tell you that you're wrong.
You said your husband was wonderful, so to suddenly turn around and say 'you don't know what it's like in the house' is beyond me.
A decent mother and wife would be at home sorting this mess out, not sitting online complaining that we didn't all say 'Awww, poor you"
What about your kids? Where you thinking of them when you were having sex with your husband's best friend.
you said your husband is a wonderful man. Grow up and get home to him and work on it, or lose custody when this comes out.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyour right i am gonna get alot of harsh shit but you know whats funny is if somebody else was in this situation they would be like omg your not in the sitiuation i needed help and all i got was this shit if you were here you would understand you dont so dont act like you know me and dont act like you can judge me as a mother because i am a very good mother and i take care of my children i love them very much as for my husband you arent at the house with us every day you arent in my life every day so dont act like you know me or you can judge me
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2010): Props to timmD on this. I wish you the best miss and would highly advise psychological counseling. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): You are going to get a lot of harsh criticism and painful advice from many places.
Don't listen to it.
What you need to do is get personal counseling, go in, get to know the counselor, and then spill your guts on all of the sexual stuff in your life, from birth to the day you see them.
Don't worry that they will get overwhelmed, or what they think about you, but you need to really get a grip on this. You aren't doing this stuff because of nothing, you are doing this because of problems maintaining and valuing relationships and you don't get there by accident.
If you don't really open up, the counselor won't be able to help you. It may take a few visits, but do it for your sake, do it for the sake of your children, and do it for the sake of those who get involved with you at any level.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (22 October 2010):
 You're lying. You don't think your husband is wonderful, you are just trying to make it seem like this situation is new to you and that you're not the "cheating" type. You're also trying to make it sound like this is a "lost love" that you never got over. The simple truth is that you aren't mature and you don't think. 3 children at 19? That's not somebody who thinks. Are all 3 children from your husband? Did you get married just for your kids? Obviously with 3 children you need somebody to help support you, right?
Sleeping with this other guy was not an accident. You did it because you CHOSE to. Do not act like you are a victim here. You husband is the victim. Your CHILDREN are the victims. You have shown that you have absolutely no respect for your husband and children. How does that make you feel? Does that bother you? If so, does that help make things more clear as to what you should do about this other guy?
Being married with 3 children doesn't automatically make you a mature adult. Good planning and decision making does. You have shown neither. The only way you can get out of this situation is to start acting like an adult.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (22 October 2010):
 Your husband has an arsehole for a friend and a dropkick for a wife.
Grab a brain, work out what is important here, your marriage to a nice guy and your three children or somebody who has already a track record for dumping you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): Wow. Um well poor husband, look your a mother and your husband is rthe one who looks after your kids, stick by him and not just this dude who wants to sleep with u and has no intention of looking after your kids.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (22 October 2010):
 Oh for flip sake! Your an adult now, don't make any more adult commitments, (babies, marriages) until you grow up!!
Are all 3 of your kids your husbands? That's a bloody big decision... maybe you should talk to your family before doing anything rash. At least put your fling with the new guy on hold for now so you can think clearly.. k?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 October 2010):
God almighty woman! You are 19, have you married to a wonderful guy and you have three children! And what do you do! You go and cheat on this wonderful husband and those three children with a guy who failed you. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING! He doesn't love you at all. He just wants to ruin the marriage you have with his friend.
You are a grown woman and you have responsibilities now. How do you think your children will feel if they find out you cheated on their wonderful father? They'll hate you. How do you think your husband will respond? Most likely he'll try to get custody of your children.
You made a choice. You chose to get married and have children with a man, and he has done nothing wrong. If you'd wanted to sleep around, have fun with guys then you should not have got married and you should not have had children. You have dragged a good man and three children into a mess that you should have dealt with. That's not acceptable.
If you're a decent woman, and if you are mature and want to do the right thing for your husband and children, you will cut contact with this crap, lying guy who already failed you, made a mockery of you and is now ruining your marriage and family. Go home and be a wife and mother to your family. This other guy will ruin your marriage, then laugh at you and walk away.
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