| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Is it illegal for them not to pay me even though I've worked every weekend for the past five weeks?
Q. Hi agony's :) im looking for abit of help/advice on my job problem. ok so i live in the UK and ive recently acquired a christmas temp job. they needed certain ID from me, i gave them my birth certificat (the small one - the only one i have) and ...
A. 25 November 2010: Or these people
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
They offer free advice on things like this too. You'll be able to make an appointment to see them.
Hopefully this will just be a misunderstanding, but clearly it needs to be sorted.
... (read in full...)
I want this to be our flat not his childrens
Q. my boyfriend and i are moving into a one bed flat together soon - our first home together. he has three kids and has a family photo on his wall currently but i want one of me and him in our new flat. i don't get on with his children and want it to ...
A. 25 November 2010: You need to end it with him. You can't stop him being a father, and you can't pretend that his children don't exist. You not getting on with his children is something that is going to destroy this relationship. It's not as simple as a fresh start. ... (read in full...)
My gf wants me to have a bigger penis, how do I handle this??
Q. I've got a question recently me and my gf had a talk about my penis and she says that she wants it thicker I asked her why and she said why not. I know that all those pills are scams aswell as mentioned exercises but is there any way to make it ...
A. 25 November 2010: I'd ditch her for that one. Seriously, if a girl is willing to judge you on something that really doesn't matter, when it comes to important decisions later in life, she won't be reliable in any way. She sounds way too immature. ... (read in full...)
Caught boyfriend making out with best friend!
Q. I caught my bf making out with my best friend last week. He swears she made the 1st move and wants me to forgive him. He was my 1st bf and my 1st kiss and so on... Wat should I do?...
A. 25 November 2010: Dump him. And get rid of her. Neither of these people are worthy of your time. As for his excuse, it's pathetic. He could have stopped her. He didn't. The difference between a good guy and a bad guy is that even in a moment of temptation, a good guy ... (read in full...)
If a guy cheats once will he repeat it again?
Q. Guys.... If you are once a cheater, will you always be a cheater? ...
A. 25 November 2010: Never been a cheater. But I knew a few guys who cheated. Of them, three cheated again, one didn't. So the chances are a guy will cheat again. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has pushed me and punched me but now he wants me back what should I do?
Q. write im 14 and the other day i was with m boyfriend and we started arguin about something stupid and he called me a slag so i pushed him backwards (which didnt move him anyway) then he punched me in the stomach and pushed me over i started crying ...
A. 25 November 2010: Then it's even more important you don't go back! What happens when he hits you and you're pregnant? He could kill your baby. What happens if he hurts the baby? Just stay away from him, get as much support as you can for you and your baby. But please ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend wants to have sex with her friend just once to see if anything is there?
Q. I need some advice... My girlfriend and I have been going out for almost 2 years now, late last year she started to hang out with a friend who she used to know, he seemed nice to me, a bit weird but he was okay. Last December she went through a r...
A. 24 November 2010: I'd dump her on the spot for this. Simple as that.... (read in full...)
Will we ever get this sorted out or is it time to move on?
Q. I was with my fiance for five years, when suddenly he decided to end it. He wasn't happy! We lived together. I'm finding it really hard to move on, I can't seem to get him out of my head. We kissed last week, spoke of getting back but of course ...
A. 24 November 2010: Agreed with the others. This is well and truly over. Best move on now for your own sake.... (read in full...)
I've cheated and totally ashamed of myself, do I tell my partner?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 and half years, for the last two years since my best friend passed away I have been terrible depressed and thinking about life so much. I have lived with my boyfriend for quite a number of years, he is a l...
A. 24 November 2010: I personally think that this is the final nail in the coffin for your relationship. You've been depressed for some time since your best friend sadly died, and you may have pulled away a bit from your boyfriend. In turn, your boyfriend has shown you ... (read in full...)
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!
Q. My boyfriend is going to Las Vegas this upcoming Thanksgiving weekend. He has only gone on a few trips without me,but NEVER to a place like Las Vegas." Whatever happens in Vegas,stays in Vegas." I am horrified of this quote. He is going with his ...
A. 24 November 2010: This is just something you have to accept. There is nothing you can do. You can't get mad at him for going. You can't even really get mad at those he is going with. He's going with his sister and her husband, so it's very unlikely he'll cheat.
Y... (read in full...)
We are trying to patch up our marriage but she is still talking to the man she had an affair with!
Q. Dear Cupid, I wrote a few days ago, and I asked about my wife and me. Thanks to everyone for all the advice but I have a continuing concern. My wife and I are trying to patch up our marriage but she continues to talk to the young man she had an a...
A. 24 November 2010: You're not a fool for caring. She's the fool. She's messing up a marriage for no reason. You took on her and her four kids, and this is the thanks.
The fact is, you can't be in this marriage if she is speaking to that man. If she still speaks to h... (read in full...)
He said I have a wide vagina and now it is stopping me from enjoying sex!
Q. well.. i just met my bf 3 months ago.i became crazy about him.wanted him he has a great mind great body.he's complete for me.lately i had problems with my family and work because of him.everybody thinks he's a bad guy they want me away from ...
A. 24 November 2010: Your boyfriend really isn't that great. When friends and family are telling you that he's not a good guy within 3 months, and when he's stupid enough to say you have a wide vagina, you're with the wrong guy.
The most important thing is that you ... (read in full...)
Do I go into town with my 'gay' best friend or do I stay at home to keep my boyfriend happy?
Q. I enjoy going into town and going clubbing, however my boyfriend does not. We're both 18 and spend everyday together, his best friend who is also 18 has 'gay tendencies' as i call it, he claims to be straight but dresses and acts gay, he even ...
A. 24 November 2010: Your dilemma is simple - You can't sit there babysitting your boyfriend just because he doesn't like clubbing. There is no harm in you going out without your boyfriend and in fact, it's sometimes a good thing. My girlfriend goes out with friends and ... (read in full...)
Should Separation End?
Q. I'm wondering what to do now. I'm in a long term marriage of over 25 years but the early years of my marriage were not easy. We argued often and almost broke up a couple of times. When my first son was born, I couldn't stand the thought of not ...
A. 24 November 2010: Not in the slightest, are you being unfair. You're being MORE than fair. In fact, you've been as fair as possible. When the marriage finally did go wrong, you were the one who went to her and suggested counselling. Even when she didn't come, you ... (read in full...)
He freaks out about little things
Q. So i have my own apartment and my boyfriend keeps telling me he wants to move in with me. i love that he wants to and honestly cannot wait considering we have been together for 3 1/2 years. but the second i didnt pick him up (he doesnt have a car) ...
A. 24 November 2010: This is emotional blackmail, and doesn't paint a pretty picture of what your relationship is, or what it will become. He is either very insecure, or just after getting his own way. Whatever the reason, you can't sit there for the rest of your life ... (read in full...)
Does that count as cheating?
Q. my girlfriend was texting a guy and met him and even text him immediately after pleasing her is this cheating...
A. 24 November 2010: Well you said he had been pleasing her. If she did something with him, then she cheated. ... (read in full...)
Could this be considered cheating?
Q. Hello everyone I've got a question what actually is cheating? My gf said I cheated on her because I talked to a female friend quite often and I was involved with my friends making a profile for a webcam porn site and because of that she thinks I'm a ...
A. 24 November 2010: I would also say that technically this isn't cheating. Certainly you talking to a female friend often isn't cheating. However, the webcam porn site is a grey area when it comes to cheating. So, again, good luck trying to convince her otherwise. ... (read in full...)
I took time off work to be with her, but she wants to be elsewhere
Q. my girlfriends birthday is coming up and we made plans to hang out on the weekend before it a month ago. Her friend invited her to go to the beach free of charge and they would be leaving the day before thanksgiving and coming back the sunday after. ...
A. 23 November 2010: I would just go. At least you'll be with her and your son.... (read in full...)
Was what I did as bad as what she did?
Q. Ok, So I am struggling with my emotions on this issue. So me and my girlfriend are both Christians and we have been dating in an exclusive committed relationship for 3 years. About about a 1 year ago or so I went to an Asian massage parlor and g...
A. 23 November 2010: You both cheated. That's it. There's no 'You cheated more" or "you cheated and it was more meaningful".
You're both cheaters, and you should probably just end it. ... (read in full...)
I read his email, found out he cheated and now he says he doesn't trust me!
Q. My boyfriend was away on course for 2 months in a different city. He was drinking a lot, very stressed and meet an old female friend he know 6 years ago on the course. When he arrived home, he very distance too me. My gut told me something happen .I ...
A. 23 November 2010: Girl! What are you doing!? The guy cheated on you with an old female friend, then claims he doesn't trust you because you read his email, walks out, doesn't come back, offers no explanation, makes no contact at all. And instead of looking at this as ... (read in full...)
Can our relationship be successfull even though he lies and cheats?
Q. Do you think its possible for a relationship to be successful when in the first 4 months of the relationship the man has consistently lied and cheated through it? ...
A. 23 November 2010: It depends on what you expect from the relationship. If he was willing to lie and cheat within 4 months, then it's safe to say that he will do it again, and again. So, it depends what you want from the relationship and life. Are you happy being ... (read in full...)
I'm married but have feelings for another guy
Q. I don't know what to do about this. The more I try to gain control over myself the more I am slipping away. I met Mr.A over a year ago during a time of chronic stress. At that time, I had found him very irritating and annoying. Though, I tried ...
A. 23 November 2010: Why an affair? I don't understand. You have had problems with your husband, and you have tried to address your problems. Good for you. Now, nothing has changed and naturally you are looking elsewhere. Fine. If that't the case, then that's the case. ... (read in full...)
How do you deal with someone who is scared of commitment?
Q. Hi all, I have been in an on/ off relationship with a commitment phobe.I have read up all about his symptoms and he matches exactly and his actions are that of a commtiment phobe. Please can you advise on how to deal with such a person, as I am ...
A. 23 November 2010: You can't really deal with someone who is a commitment phobe, and that's the problem. Anything that you say or do really won't make a difference. If someone wants to change, they will do it for their own sakes. So, if this guy really wanted to ... (read in full...)
Would you cheat on a guy you were falling for just to have some "closure sex?"
Q. I'm curious what goes on in a woman's mind when she is dating a guy she claims to love, but still has feelings for a former lover whom she only had sex with and maybe a slight friendship. I've had several relationships where I found out some time ...
A. 23 November 2010: I would suggest that you look at the type of girl you're attracted too, because there aren't that many women who behave this way. You may be going for women who are not over ex's and such. It's not cheating, but it shows that there are problems ... (read in full...)
I'm married but have feelings for another guy
Q. I don't know what to do about this. The more I try to gain control over myself the more I am slipping away. I met Mr.A over a year ago during a time of chronic stress. At that time, I had found him very irritating and annoying. Though, I tried ...
A. 23 November 2010: Since you're married, you need to make a decision. Either this is a sign that your marriage needs work, in which case you go home and you work on your marriage. Or, you're in the wrong marriage and you go and get divorced. You can't have both.
P... (read in full...)
I have a new boyfriend but cant stop thinking about my ex!
Q. so i was with my ex for 8 months before we broke up. we were both in love and i was happy with him except it was long distance and we talked maybe twice a week. we were broken up for about 3 weeks before i got with my current boyfriend(we've been ...
A. 23 November 2010: No, end it. Telling your boyfriend won't make this ex go away, and it's unfair to have a boyfriend around as a replacement. End it, spend time alone working on your own life. Don't keep him around, because he'll fall for you more, and in a year ... (read in full...)
How can I stop liking older women?
Q. Hi i am a 16 yo male. i have a strong interest in older woman. Dont get me wrong i still like girls my own age but not as much. Is there anything i can do to change this?...
A. 23 November 2010: You can't. I like older women too. My girlfriend is older than me. The reason I like older women is that I prefer their maturity, which younger women don't have in the same way. If I were you, I wouldn't try to change. I'd just be the best guy you ... (read in full...)
I have a new boyfriend but cant stop thinking about my ex!
Q. so i was with my ex for 8 months before we broke up. we were both in love and i was happy with him except it was long distance and we talked maybe twice a week. we were broken up for about 3 weeks before i got with my current boyfriend(we've been ...
A. 23 November 2010: Your current boyfriend is nothing but a rebound, and I think you should end it, for your sake and his sake. I think you'l agree that it's unfair on your new boyfriend to be going out with him, knowing that you're basically not over your ex. A ... (read in full...)
How do I forget about my past and parents relationship and not push this great guy and great relationship away?
Q. Let me start off my saying that I'm really scared. I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year. But I'm scared to fully commit to him. He is really great and the relationship is great. But, my past and things around has me scared to fully ...
A. 23 November 2010: You need to see a counsellor, and you need to get all this out. You've obviously got a lot going on in your head, and unless you take steps to understand it all, and to change it with someone who can point you in the right direction, you will lose ... (read in full...)
Still a virgin at 21?
Q. Well, I'm 21 years old and I'm still a virgin. I feel more ashamed of this than "happy" because it seems virtually everyone I know at this age has lost their virginity, including my younger sister. I've only had one boyfriend and that was f...
A. 23 November 2010: And as virtually every person who lost it to the wrong person early will tell you, it is better to wait for the right person. Sounds old and quaint, I know. But there are many people (more women then men), who lower their standards and lose it ... (read in full...)
How do I fix this?
Q. I have known this guy for 8 years. He was my first kiss. We ended up falling in love. As time went by our time talking shortened and shortened. And one drunk lonely night i had sex with his cousin who he hates. He found out and we stopped talking ...
A. 23 November 2010: I'm not sure how to fix it either. I think the only thing you can do is ask him. He's the only one who knows what you can do. No one else does. So I think you need to speak to him about it. ... (read in full...)
I caught my sister masturbating
Q. I walked into my younger sisters room to get her downstairs for lunch nd i saw her in her bed nude masturbaiting with a gel bottle and i dont know if i should tell mum and dad?...
A. 23 November 2010: I don't think you need to say anything at all. There's nothing wrong with what she's doing. I'd just let it go and not bring it up again.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has pushed me and punched me but now he wants me back what should I do?
Q. write im 14 and the other day i was with m boyfriend and we started arguin about something stupid and he called me a slag so i pushed him backwards (which didnt move him anyway) then he punched me in the stomach and pushed me over i started crying ...
A. 22 November 2010: Don't go back. This is abuse, and it will get worse. In fact, you should tell someone that he's abusing you this way. ... (read in full...)
For the guys, can men and women be "just friends"?
Q. Can men and women be "just friends"? Or are men only friends with women that they are attracted to or fine attractive? Speaking from a woman's perspective, I know we can have platonic friends. Let's hear it from the men. :)...
A. 22 November 2010: Yes, it can. I have a few female friends, and I don't fancy them at all. They're friends, and that's it. ... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend has a baby on the way but is cheating on his gf with me!
Q. heres the deal; my ex boyfriend got a girl pregnant after they had been dating for only 4 months and it broke my heart because we were together for almost 5 yrs on and off. we were each others first true love but the reason we broke up was my fault. ...
A. 22 November 2010: He comes back to you because you're sat there waiting. That's why. There's no love here. It's just about him having a laugh at you and the pregnant girlfriend. So, either have the courage to walk away and find a guy who cares about you. Or spend ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does not celebrate X-Mas and I'm hurt by his apparent disregard to my my feelings
Q. Me and my boyfriend are on the verge of breaking up over this.. He doesn't celebrate xmas, he's not from the UK, but he knows how important it is for my family to be around each other at that time, and this year has been one hell of a difficul...
A. 20 November 2010: You're obviously just two people, with different beliefs. And that's it. So, decide whether this is a deal breaker or not. You can't realistically expect someone who doesn't celebrate Christmas, and comes from a totally different background to ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to look inside my boyfriends phone?
Q. Is it wrong for me to go in my boyfriend phone? My boyfriend laid his phone down so i picked it up and went in it i saw women pictures text saying when u coming back to see me and him telling someone he love them and the woman saying she love him ...
A. 20 November 2010: If you're having to snoop, or feel you have to snoop, then there are already problems in the relationship. It is wrong to look at another person's things, because it does show insecurity and a lack of trust.
That said, the fact is that snoo... (read in full...)
I have applied to his college so I can win back his love
Q. Dear Cupid, what do I do? I met the love of my life two years ago, and although we're young, I know for 100% that it has to him. Problem is, he just doesn't love me. Before you tell me that I'm young, before you tell me that it's puppy love and...
A. 20 November 2010: You're not going to like what I'm going to say, at all. But, basically, there is no love there. He's over you I'm afraid. And he's made it more than clear that he's over you, twice. You can love him all you like, you can believe all you like about ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of three years keeps breaking promises
Q. I am a 21 year old college student, who has been dating the same guy since my freshmen year. I am now a Junior in college. My question is about my boyfriend and how he makes broken promises. Basically he has made plenty of broken promises, he is the ...
A. 20 November 2010: There comes a point where you need to decide whether you're happy being second best. And, to be honest, you're second best and not happy about it. He promised to cook a meal, then bailed and went out with friends. That's pretty crappy in its own ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is away and my feelings for my best friend are growing stronger
Q. hi there, well i have a problem i'm dealing with right now. my boyfriend is out of the city for a couple of months doing a recruting thing, honestly before he left he really didn't say "i love you" as often as i wanted to hear it and right now i'm ...
A. 20 November 2010: This is the sort of thing that tests a relationship, and to be honest, is you're feeling this way, you need to ask whether your boyfriend is the 'one'. Realistically, if you were that close to your boyfriend, the distance wouldn't have mattered. But ... (read in full...)
My sister wants us to have group sex
Q. Has anyone had sex in the same room as another couple, and if so why? My sister wants me to do this in her room while she makes love to her boyfriend on a separate bed. She won't say why she wants it like that....
A. 20 November 2010: This just sounds seriously weird and incestuous to me. I don't think you should have any part in it. Your sister sounds a bit unstable to be honest.... (read in full...)
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