| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
If we stay together, how can we rebuild trust?
Q. If you read my last plea for help, you know my situation consists of my latest boyfriend coming forward to tell me he cheated. We've since then Nov 12th, split and I have not talked to him since. Many think 'once a cheater, always a cheater', but ...
A. 16 December 2010: You should be asking yourself this question. None of us here know what will rebuild that trust for you.
So, sit down and think about how he can make it up. Does he need to be open with texts and emails? Does he need to spend more time with you?... (read in full...)
Should I have faith in us even though he's with someone else?
Q. I dated this guy who because of how we met I believe it was god leading us to each other, he 2 months ago, without telling me dumped me for someone else, even so there are signs that he still cares about me and misses me, my friends say I should ...
A. 16 December 2010: You seem to be a bit stuck in the denial stage. He was very callous towards you, and actually dumped you without saying anything to go for another woman. And in 2 months, nothing has changed. You don't need a callous man like that in your life. I ... (read in full...)
Where do I begin to heal the pain learn to love who I am?
Q. Dear Cupid perhaps you can help me, I am a 47 year man who has been divorced for 8 years, I have recently been in a friendship which sadly has come to abrupt end, for various reasons. The young lady in question has decided after a summer together...
A. 16 December 2010: You come across as a genuinely nice guy. And I think the problem might be that like all nice guys, you're trying to make other people happy before yourself, and maybe when they don't make you happy in return, that's when you get hurt. And I think ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is completely unsupportive of my new business...
Q. Well, i've been with my boyfriend 4 years now. He is married with 2 kids, but separated, we've lived together abroad for 4 yrs while his wife n kids lived back home. I put up with this situation for 4 yrs then decided that it was time to put him to ...
A. 16 December 2010: Sadly it's always easier to say a few words than to actually do what needs to be done.
But this is your moment. You've got to stand up now, before this gets worse for you. I think the first thing you should do is speak to a solicitor. If you plan... (read in full...)
How can I tell her she needs to be more patient re sex?
Q. Ok, my girlfriend gets mad when i cant get off when she is on top or giving me head? It gets to the point where when she feels like she is done, she just quits and goes to bed leaving me hanging. i dont know if she thinks that she dosent turn me ...
A. 16 December 2010: No, there's nothing wrong with you. But perhaps there is a problem with the choice you made in your girlfriend. I wouldn't stand for any woman calling me a dumbass because I couldn't cum. I'd just get rid of her. She's treating you badly, and you're ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about his blue balls!!!!
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend and i always have foreplay without having sex because i told him i was a virgin so he sticking to his promise not to have sex with me. But when ever we are done, he always complain bitterly of having "blue - balls" to the e...
A. 16 December 2010: Don't take any notice of his line. C. Grant said it all. It's just a line. Nothing at all will happen to him. ... (read in full...)
I think my relationship may be nearly over...
Q. Ok. I dont know if its me but i think my girlfriend is kinda very selfish. I'm an artist and I need to keep my skills up in all sections I deal with. When i'm drawing or doing something in general she feels to be all affectionate, shes not like this ...
A. 15 December 2010: 1 - Yes, she's selfish. Also violent, untrustworthy and a drama queen.
2 - You better believe you're being used.
3 - She clearly doesn't care about anything else but her own interests.
4 - Oh, it's in trouble all right. The problem is that it's... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is completely unsupportive of my new business...
Q. Well, i've been with my boyfriend 4 years now. He is married with 2 kids, but separated, we've lived together abroad for 4 yrs while his wife n kids lived back home. I put up with this situation for 4 yrs then decided that it was time to put him to ...
A. 15 December 2010: As a man, sometimes I find myself scratching my head at the choices some women make in other men. I consider myself to be a smart guy, but even now I wonder what makes a smart, intelligent hard working woman like you choose a completely selfish, ... (read in full...)
Why is he being so immature when I'm around?
Q. okay so about a week and a half ago my bf(now ex) broke up and idk what his deal is but lately hes been acting so immature towards me lately. like one day i tried to get him, our friend, and me to hang out the way we did when we were all just ...
A. 15 December 2010: I would distance yourself from him. He's a teenage boy, and teenage boys can be very cruel for little to no reason. And he's being cruel to you. He's an ex boyfriend, and what you had before is gone. You won't ever really be the same again. So, ... (read in full...)
Should I hurt this person just to make me feel better?
Q. I feel guilty about something, but I don't know why I do. I havent done anything. The problem is if I do this "something" it should make me feel better but this one person will be hurt. One of my teachers told me to think about the repercussions. ...
A. 15 December 2010: Never hurt anyone else just so you can feel better. Because it will come back to you at some point.
Imagine if you hurt this guy. It will then get around that you're uncaring, and perhaps a bit selfish in that you don't care about anyone's feel... (read in full...)
She's come back to me, but I'm uneasy about what went on with the other guy
Q. ok so i have a bit of a problem. my ex girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me about 5 months ago ans only about a week later she was seeing someone new. the thing is that her relationship progressed quickly and went as far as telling him she loved ...
A. 15 December 2010: I'm not a person who believes that getting back with ex's is a good idea. And I am more often proved right than I am wrong about that.
When it comes down to it, your ex threw away a three year relationship for another guy. Within a week, she was ... (read in full...)
Should I move in with my FWB?
Q. So I have been talking to this guy from work now for about three month, we kinda argreeded that it is a FWB relationship, but now we r taking about moving in with each other and still see other people. The problem is that I am falling for him and I ...
A. 15 December 2010: You are going to get scorched by all this when it collapses. And it will. You are falling for a FWB. That's the moment to end it and move on, because the truth is your FWB isn't going to drop everything for you, especially given that even when ... (read in full...)
Rebound dating: is it a bad idea?
Q. Its been about a month since my girlfriend of two years broke up with me and I've been trying to get out of this "mopey" stage. I've been working out, painting, writing, doing my school work, hanging out with friends... you name it. However, it...
A. 15 December 2010: Rebound dating might work for you, but not for the trail of broken hearts you might well leave behind. I doubt any woman would be happy knowing that she went on a date with you only to be blown off. No one likes to find out they've been used.
I... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to feel there should be nothing hidden in a relationship?
Q. I moved in with my boyfriend to then find out he had been cheating on me with several women throughout our entire relationship. I have since tried to trust but told him it will take some extra steps on his part to help me rebuild the confidence. ...
A. 15 December 2010: I think you need to just end it with him. Al he's done is cheat, and he's done nothing since then to make you feel reassured. In fact, all he's done is lock you out, which probably means he's cheating again. You know you don't have to allow men like ... (read in full...)
Am I weird?
Q. people make me feel a bit weird just because iv never had a boyfriend or done anything with a boy and its starting to get to me. i want to know if anyone thinks this is weird too. (I'm 18 if you're wondering) ...
A. 15 December 2010: No you're not weird. At all. Don't give it another thought. ... (read in full...)
Am I doomed to be the girl who passes up nice guys?
Q. Dear Cupid. I suck. There's something wrong with me! I'm in an "un-labeled" exclusive relationship with a man whose good to me but has traces of Mr Hyde..I dunno. We'll call him Angelo. But this is the bad part, I've skipped over two...three..four ...
A. 15 December 2010: Even if a guy's nice, you still need to have chemistry and things in common before you can really date him. Living with a nice guy that you have nothing in common with can be as bad as living with a loser.
For a relationship to work, what you'... (read in full...)
His daughter will always be more special to him than I am, how do I get over this?
Q. Please help me, I want to leave but am so scared. I have been with my boyfriend 1 year. He is 7 years older than me. He has a daughter of 5 and I get along well with his daughter but do sometimes suffer with jealousy towards her,, although I never...
A. 15 December 2010: OP, I saw your second reply, and I have to say that you are pouting!
Leave him, work on your own insecurities and stop getting at the guy. You're the one who's jealous, and you're the one who has consistently said that you're jealous,. How much... (read in full...)
Do teenage boys like Asian girls?
Q. I am a freshman in highschool and have been told that i am very pretty...Keep in mind that I am asian. I was wondering if teenage boys find pretty asian girls attractive and want to maybe even date them. Have you ever liked an asian girl if so ...
A. 15 December 2010: You're a girl. Teenage boys will definitely like you. Don't worry at all. ... (read in full...)
How can I make him feel like a man?
Q. How do I stop taking my boyfriends manhood from him? I grew up with a single mother and two older sisters. The women in my life have always been very take charge and motivated, like myself. MY boyfriend on the other hand is different. He by n...
A. 15 December 2010: He's kind of got to do it himself. But if he needs a push in the right direction, ask him what he'd like to do and see what suggestions he can come up with. ... (read in full...)
No matter what my girlfriend is always mad at me!
Q. My girlfriend (of 2 years) is constantly mad at me. Nothing I do is good enough for her, I try so hard to make her happy you know do cute stuff for her and everything, still upset. Just lately she is just mad at me, almost mean to me, even when I ...
A. 15 December 2010: Stop letting her wipe her shoes on your face and get away from her. She's not worthy of your time.... (read in full...)
I think he might like me but I cant tell if this girl is his girlfriend or not!
Q. I like a really really hot guy, he got a lot of girl friends( just friends) but he is pretty close to a few girls and I'm not sure if she's his gf... But I think this guy might Like me coz he does this funny thing when me and my Friend were taking ...
A. 15 December 2010: If you know one of his friends, could you ask one of them? Or maybe just ask him yourself and see what he says? I can't really think of any other ways to find out. ... (read in full...)
His daughter will always be more special to him than I am, how do I get over this?
Q. Please help me, I want to leave but am so scared. I have been with my boyfriend 1 year. He is 7 years older than me. He has a daughter of 5 and I get along well with his daughter but do sometimes suffer with jealousy towards her,, although I never...
A. 15 December 2010: I think you should just break up. You're just not a step-mother type person at all. Of course he loves his daughter more. You don't understand that, because you don't have kids. But one day you will, and when you do, you'll understand. Romantic love ... (read in full...)
Drunk and possibly cheated, this is so out of character for me! Should I come clean?
Q. I have been with my partner for two and a half years and we are amazing together!many peole comment on what a close and genuine couple we are! we are so happy! But a couple of months ago he left the pub early and i stayed out with his friends....
A. 15 December 2010: The problem is, you seem to want to tell him just because you feel guilty, and not because you really believe it's the right thing to do. You shouldn't just tell him just to get rid of your guilt, because it won't work. You'll just see his heart ... (read in full...)
I sent him pictures of me in my underwear and now he is not talking to me! Should I wait for him or move on?
Q. Okay, So i am in 8th grade. About 3 months ago i was talking to a freshman (9th grade) that i really liked. He had dated some of the hottest girls in school so i felt like i was dreaming, no i couldnt really be talking to him. He was sweet and ...
A. 14 December 2010: You won't be tracked down by the cops. ... (read in full...)
Views on student crushes on their teachers?
Q. I really like a teacher...So I have liked many teachers before but once again i am in love with this teacher but the thing is i dont atcually have him as a teacher...he is an computing teacher and the first time i saw him i really liked him...one ...
A. 14 December 2010: I didn't like any of my teachers. But I did have a friend who fancied a teacher and took it further.
He got sent to prison, had to sign the sex offender's register and can't ever work near anyone under the age of 18.
She wound up expelled... (read in full...)
Ex sent me a holiday card with kisses and then let me know he was happily dating someone. Why?
Q. I dated a guy for two and a half years, lived with him for a while. The end was mutual, even though I still loved and missed him, he had met someone behind my back and wanted to be with her. That was 9 months ago and we have had no contact. I ad...
A. 14 December 2010: He met someone behind your back, then left for this other woman. Within a few months, he'd left her for another woman. I'm betting he met this other one in the same way (met her behind this other woman's back). Now, just 9 months later, he's sent ... (read in full...)
Once trust has gone, will it ever come back?
Q. once a womans trust is gone is that it? game over? how can trust be regained. how can you show a woman you mean what you say even though she doesnt believe a word you say. how can you show a woman youve changed if she wont even see you....
A. 14 December 2010: FOCUS!
Here are your priorities.
1 - Keep a job.
2 - Get a lawyer
3 - Get access to your kids.
Way down in fourth place is your girlfriend, and last is what you feel about losing your family and home. If your wife is treating your this w... (read in full...)
Can I send a card after a breakup, hoping it might make a difference?
Q. Should I send a xmas card to a woman that broke up with me in an email, "I think we should just leave things well enough alone..." It is killing me and embarrassing at my age (47) but I am still in love with her three months after our (email) ...
A. 14 December 2010: Her email was as clear as it will get. I wouldn't sent a card to this woman at all. I know it's hurting you, but you were dumped by email, which was lousy enough, and that email was as clear as it could get. Don't send her a card. ... (read in full...)
I sent him pictures of me in my underwear and now he is not talking to me! Should I wait for him or move on?
Q. Okay, So i am in 8th grade. About 3 months ago i was talking to a freshman (9th grade) that i really liked. He had dated some of the hottest girls in school so i felt like i was dreaming, no i couldnt really be talking to him. He was sweet and ...
A. 14 December 2010: You need to learn from this - never send pictures like that. There are two very good reasons for this.
1 - Now they're out there, and you're exposed. Anyone can see those pictures.
2 - Guys are very picky about the women they choose. We're mo... (read in full...)
How safe is sex with a condom but no birth control?
Q. How safe is protected sex with a condom and no birth control. I dont want to catch anything and I do not want to get pregnant. Is a condom safe? I'm not into the pill thing. ...
A. 14 December 2010: About 95-97% safe, so long as it's put on correctly and doesn't break. You may not want to be on the pill, but it might be a good idea to look into, say, the implant? You can never have too much protection. Though, condoms are the best protection ... (read in full...)
Once trust has gone, will it ever come back?
Q. once a womans trust is gone is that it? game over? how can trust be regained. how can you show a woman you mean what you say even though she doesnt believe a word you say. how can you show a woman youve changed if she wont even see you....
A. 14 December 2010: At least get a solicitor to sort out the mess about your kids. She has no right to stop you seeing them, and her doing that shows her up a bit. Work on being a father right now, rather than wasting time on a woman so hell bent on destroying you and ... (read in full...)
Why does she say such hurtful things when drunk?
Q. why does my girlfriend get drunk and starts telling me i don't do anything for her and adds my sex sucks, why does hurt me this way? ...
A. 14 December 2010: When she's drunk, she lets down her inhibitions, and will just say anything. I think it's a sign that you two need to seriously work at your relationship. Because there are two reasons why she would say these things.
1 - There is some truth in it, ... (read in full...)
Once trust has gone, will it ever come back?
Q. once a womans trust is gone is that it? game over? how can trust be regained. how can you show a woman you mean what you say even though she doesnt believe a word you say. how can you show a woman youve changed if she wont even see you....
A. 14 December 2010: I've read articles on here from women and men who have been cheated on, say, 20 years previously. And 20 years on, there is still a lack of trust.
The truth is, once someone has been lied to or betrayed, there is nearly always a lack of trust. Over... (read in full...)
Is there any way to deal the situation that he use not having sex to punish me?
Q. Hi, Me and my boyfriend have some problems in our sex life as well as the relationship. We have different sex drives, I am higher and he is lower. And because of that every time we argue he uses sex to punish me. He would not have sex with me for ...
A. 13 December 2010: How interesting. I've heard of women using lack of sex as a punishment, threatening not to buy presents and such, and even eating alone.
But I can honestly say that this is the first time I've ever heard of a man doing it!
I'll give you the same... (read in full...)
When you cheat does it mean you really don't love your partner anymore?
Q. hi i just have a very simple question, i have been with my bf for 4 years now but i have recentley cheated on him for the first time ever and i am very confused about my feelings but i just wanted to know: when you cheat, does it really mean that ...
A. 13 December 2010: I personally believe that if you cheat, there is a lack of respect. You need to respect the person in your life as well as love them.
I suspect that this is more of a sign that you should be out there having fun, rather than in a committed rela... (read in full...)
What do I say to the girl that I really like?
Q. There's a girl i have a massive crush on in University. We're both comfortable with each other and we dance together whenever we go out and she doesn't mind me touching her at all. Thing is though, i'm really scared to tell her how i feel. I wanted ...
A. 13 December 2010: Good luck!... (read in full...)
Why is my ex slagging me off on facebook?
Q. so basically ive broken up with my boyfriend and i am getting to the point where im over him. the otehr day i went on his fb just to see what he was up to and how he was and on his wall practically every person he talks to he is slagging me off ...
A. 13 December 2010: Sometimes in life, you wind up meeting idiots. Your ex is one of them. Thank God you broke up with him. I wouldn't worry about what he's up to. He's just an immature little boy who isn't worth your time. Cut all ties, and just ignore him for the ... (read in full...)
Is it ok for a girl to just want no strings sex?
Q. is it ok for a girl to just want no strings sex?? i'm 23 and to be honest ive had enough of relationships, i get bored after a while and find myself doing anything to get out of it, as they don't make me happy. I've toyed with the idea of having a ...
A. 13 December 2010: It's perfectly okay to want no strings sex. The problem is that often one of the two FWB falls for the other. And, most of the time it's the woman who winds up falling for the man (though not always). So if you decide that you want no strings, you ... (read in full...)
We broke up, he hasn't text or called, and his friends are saying he is talking to someone else.....what should I do?
Q. HI THERE. well i just recently broke up with my ex on wednesday. he texted me thursday morninq and we didnt talk friday at all .ever since we broke up he hasnt really texted or called me :/ .his friends said he is talking to someone already.but ...
A. 13 December 2010: Teenage boys (and girls - but more boys) are notorious from moving from one girl to another in a short space of time. And that's what's happened here. I'm not sure who broke up with you. But if you broke up with him, it's not his job to come ... (read in full...)
I have developed a phobia of driving!
Q. Hi aunts and uncles! Please can someone help. Since I passed my driving test 4 months ago I've developed a driving phobia. I'm a nervous person anyway and get panic attacks but I was fine driving with my instructor. When I passed me ...
A. 13 December 2010: I don't mind driving for the most part, but I disliked having to stop on a hill whilst going up it. I had this nightmare about stalling or something. In the end, I went out and spent a few days specifically driving around by myself up and down ... (read in full...)
What do I say to the girl that I really like?
Q. There's a girl i have a massive crush on in University. We're both comfortable with each other and we dance together whenever we go out and she doesn't mind me touching her at all. Thing is though, i'm really scared to tell her how i feel. I wanted ...
A. 13 December 2010: This is one of those 'go for broke' moments. You've got to make this good.
First rule - No drinking tonight. At all. If you want to make a decent impression, you need to be sober. There are few girls that are impressed by drunk men asking them... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
