A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:heres the deal; my ex boyfriend got a girl pregnant after they had been dating for only 4 months and it broke my heart because we were together for almost 5 yrs on and off. we were each others first true love but the reason we broke up was my fault. within the 5 yrs that we were on and off we would both had other bf and gfs but we always seemed to cheat on them and eventually get back together again.Well this time around with his current gf, he was cheating on her with me, but when i found out she got pregnant i totally just stopped talking to him. Last week we hung out and had sex and i feel horrible because he has a baby on the way but i just missed him so much and when he wanted to hang out with me i couldnt resist and said yes! i really dont understand why he keeps coming back to me when he lives with his gf and has a baby on the way. im really confused and i dont know if i should continue to engage in letting him cheat on her with me. i need advice!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): Look just because she is the one who is having the baby, does not mean she is the one he should be with.
Of course he should be there for his baby no matter what, no matter who the mother is, whether or not he is with the child's mother.
A man's obligation to his children is not the same thing as an obligation to his children's biological mother.
The fact that he had only known her for 4 months while you and him were together for 5 years, means that your relationship with him is stronger than his relationship with her. that and the fact that you keep ending up back together.
He getting her pregnant sounds more like an accident. That does not mean he should stay with her.
However the thing that bothers me is that he is still living with her even though he got back together with you and is still contacting you. He is cheating on her, which is a totally separate issue from the baby. Cheating is cheating and is wrong regardless of whether there is a baby involved or not. Cheating isn't "more wrong" just because there is a baby and "less wrong" when there isn't.
He needs to stop cheating on his girlfriend. Either break up with her (though still be there for his kid) or break up with you.
From the history of your relationship, it sounds like he should be breaking up with her, IMO.
A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (23 November 2010):
 You have to stop being his toy. Regardless he could be getting all the sex he wants with her but most men feel frighten to think that they now have to be with just one person therefore they stray. I don't think he loves you I believe he is using you. Don't be naive in thinking he wants to be with you and only you because you already know his history and he sounds like a walking STD to me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): I understand that every guy goes back to the girl s
Who puts out no matter what. But whats the need of him coming to me if he probably gets sex everyday from her since they live together. Is hr bored with her or what? Its like everytime I start to move on he calls me, I really dont get why he does we have nothing to talk about anympre he did what he did and theres no turnin back now but ive tried to tell him that I really dont wanna talk to him n stop callin and he doesnt for a month then presists on callin again which makes me even more confused. Ugh Im usually so strong n would never tolerate this but he was my first everything.
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A
female
reader, Katia185013  +, writes (22 November 2010):
I think you should sit down and talk to him because he is going to be a dad and he needs to be ready for this baby because his girlfriend is having this baby and she really needs him so bad right now. Now he has a family with a little baby now every guy even iif they say they don't want kids when they have their frist kid they look at THEIR baby and they think wow thats my baby and they are so happy. I think you should help him become a great dad
Because you could do so much beter because he is not just cheating on her he is cheating on you to. But help him become the best dad ever. Do your best to not fall for him again i know its hard not ro but do you best. by Katia185013
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave  +, writes (22 November 2010):
Oh this is messy.
You two obviously have some attraction that keeps bringing you back together, but now there's a baby involved - and it's not yours.
I'm not saying this is going to be easy, but you have to put this into perspective and attempt to stop seeing him.
He has a responsibility on the way and like it or not you should give him the space to get on with it and reject his advances.
Babies can change people and he should be given the chance to change.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 November 2010):
He comes back to you because you're sat there waiting. That's why. There's no love here. It's just about him having a laugh at you and the pregnant girlfriend. So, either have the courage to walk away and find a guy who cares about you. Or spend your life sitting around waiting for a loser, who will make a shocking husband and an appalling father. You're just setting yourself up, yet again.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (22 November 2010):
 History or not, why would you want to be with an asshole who cheats on his pregnant girlfriend?
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (22 November 2010):
To steal a technique from a fellow aunt (sorry Tisha)...
Dear Cupid,
I'm pregnant and scared. I've only been with my boyfriend for 4 months and he's great, but I get the feeling that he's hiding something. He told me about his ex, and I think he still has feelings for her. They were together for 5 years. He said that they have a history of breaking up and getting back together and lately he's getting more distant despite the fact that we live together. The other night he didn't come home. He said he got drunk and stayed at a friends house, but I think he was with her. I checked his phone and noticed some calls to her number.
I don't know what to do. I want my baby to have a dad. I know it's earlier than I had hoped, but there is no turning back now. I'm really scared he's going to leave me for his ex who it seems he never got over. Am I right to be scared? Are there any signs I should be looking for to tell if he's cheating? I don't know what to do! When he tells me he loves me, is he lying?
Thanks in advance for the help. I hope it's nothing but my gut tells me something's up.
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