| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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She's out of league, is it wrong to ask her out?
Q. Well, there is this girl I like and we are pretty good friends. Even though we dont go to the same school, she and I sometimes talk text, or facebook chat with each other. But the problem is she said she likes tall guys but Im only 5'9" and she gets ...
A. 3 December 2010: I'm a 'average joe' really. I'm a plumber, and at the moment I'm unemployed. I'm broke. Yet my girlfriend is the finest woman I know, and all because I took the chance in talking to her and letting her get to know me over time.
There is no leag... (read in full...)
In love with two very different men
Q. I'm in love with two very different men, any advise? So it started about 8years ago with my high school sweetheart, we only dated for a few months but after all this time I have never stopped loving him, I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years, b...
A. 3 December 2010: My advice is you stop with both. You don't love either these guys enough, and this shows overall that you still have a lot to learn about men and relationships. You may think you love them, but you can take it from someone who has seen this question ... (read in full...)
STD HPV2.. tell him or not?
Q. I have hpv 2 and i'm starting to see this guy. Should I tell him? I really like him, and i want him to leave his girlfriend for me. But I have this issue, and I think if I tell him he wont leave her for me. But we have been hanging out and talking a ...
A. 3 December 2010: This is a disaster before you've even got started.
First of all, why on earth are you seeing a guy who has a girlfriend? Why? If he treats his girlfriend badly, why will he change and treat you well? He won't. This guy's cheating with you, and you ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my husband and kids for this unemployed guy?
Q. Iam married and I have two kids. I've been married to Paul for 7 years. I was never really sexualy attracted to him and he never made me feel good when we had sex! I married him because in our religion if the girl doesn't get married young then ...
A. 3 December 2010: What on EARTH are you thinking!? Seriously, what are you doing!
This is just about the single most irresponsible thing I've ever heard of.
Okay, the marriage is dead. You obviously had a religious requirement to get married, and you had to do it... (read in full...)
Is it wrong that I want my husband to trust me about this?
Q. Ok, to give a quick background: I've been married 6 years and it's been rocky, but we are at a great point now. I am a very social person and have kept many friends close over the years. My childhood friend / first boyfriend at age 14, mind you ...
A. 3 December 2010: This is asking for trouble, especially given that your marriage has been rocky. This is exactly the sort of thing that will make it spiral downhill very quickly.
This isn't like you're just asking for any old friend. This is an ex, even if it was ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has got MAJOR issues, but I can't dump her. How do I get her to dump me?
Q. I dont understand my girlfriend , she is bipolar and christian she lives 2 streets away from me in a cold dark flat , she doesnt wash up and wont sleep with me in my nice detached house. I have just come back from a trip with her to her country she ...
A. 2 December 2010: Yes you can dump her. That's the only way you'll stop this mess. ... (read in full...)
Pros & cons of friends with benefits relationship
Q. Do you think its wise to have a friends with benefits type of relationship with a stranger to get over your ex? Not looking for any serious committed relationship right now. But I don't want to get hurt again as this would be the first time I would ...
A. 2 December 2010: This ins't a good plan. At this time, you should be getting over this guy. Going to another guy for sex won't work. As the post below says, you'll probably wind up falling for your FWB and end up hurt again.
Spend time getting over your ex, and ... (read in full...)
He adds pretty girls on Facebook and has blocked me from seeing his profile!
Q. I've been in a 3 year relationship with my boyfriend. In the past we had a lot of problems because he lied to me and also had an emotional relationship with his ex. Everything was going really well until I recently found out that he is lying to me ...
A. 2 December 2010: It's a safe bet that he's looking for other people, so you'd be better moving on. ... (read in full...)
B/f has told me he'd kill my family if I left him
Q. I found out i was pregnant a few weeks ago. Its not the best news but im learing to deal with it. Im only 21 and recently moved to sweden to be with my boyfriend. Before i found out i was pregnant i wanted to leave him and go home. I have nothen ...
A. 2 December 2010: Pack your bags and leave. Tell as many people as you can what you're doing so they know, and speak to the police about this. Just get away from him.... (read in full...)
Have I blown my second chance with her?
Q. Hi everybody. My girlfriend broke up with me in early July because she was no longer happy the way the relationship was going. Basically I wasn't doing the things she liked with her. I was not appreciating her. I was taking her for granted. I ...
A. 1 December 2010: This woman is a waste of your time. Seriously. ... (read in full...)
What's with this threesome double standard?
Q. My boyfriend told me he'd like to try a threesome. I told him I'd do it but that I'd also like a threesome but with another guy. He went from totally enthusiastic that I said yes to furious. I told him I didn't want him to do anything with the other ...
A. 1 December 2010: This is a very good reason not to have a threesome. He just wants to cheat. ... (read in full...)
Why did she make a date with her ex when she's supposedly still broken up over our break up?
Q. My girlfriend of 4 months cheated on me while I was out of town a month ago. She told me about it because the guilt was killing her because I'm a nice guy, especially to her. I wanted to try and work it out, but she said it would be too different ...
A. 1 December 2010: I think it's pretty clear that this girl cheated, then decided to get back with this ex. Sadly, you got burned because of her rubbish treatment and selfish interests. To be honest, I'd not bother at all with her again. I don't think you could trust ... (read in full...)
My ex wants me back, but I don't want him to think he can play with me when he wants! What should I do?
Q. so i have been with this guy for 3 years and i love him so much. the thing is we havent been the same, he cheasted when we first started to date and ive forgave him for that but now i cant realy trust him, and on top of that last year i left him for ...
A. 1 December 2010: He cheated on you, he abused you, he threatened you.
You'd be mad to go back to him. Mad. He hasn't changed. He'll treat you exactly the same way, and you'll get hurt again.
You're a good girlfriend, so find a good boyfriend instead of a bad one.... (read in full...)
My sex drive has gone through the roof! So much so that I am even considering an affair, what should I do?
Q. Dear forum I am coming to you for help as I there is no one else to turn to. I am 39 year old woman happily married for 13 years and a son.I love my husband dearly.My husband is the only man I have ever been with.The last couple of years my...
A. 1 December 2010: NO DAMNED AFFAIRS! - They make you look bad, and they destroy everything in their path. I don't know any affair that has brought happiness. So, quit chatting to those other guys and get back to your husband. Remember, your 13 year old son won't ... (read in full...)
He is still not totally over his ex, what should I do?
Q. I've been dating this guy for a couple of months. I am in love with him, I can picture having a life and future with this guy. But a part of him is still not over his ex. She was kinda his girl that got away. I told him if the main reason as to why ...
A. 1 December 2010: If he's not totally over his ex, you're already setting yourself up for pain. You can't have a relationship with someone, if their heart is elsewhere. Because in twenty years time, she might come back and he might leave you. That's happened quite a ... (read in full...)
I have fallen for my FWB! What should I do now?
Q. If a guy could help me, I would be very thankful! Basically, I have been seeing a guy for 6 months (friends with benefits thing (fwb)) and I had a boyfriend (bad, I know but I am no longer with him) and am still seeing the fwb. Now, I have fall...
A. 1 December 2010: Men do want sex, but not all the time. We do want a girlfriend for other things that just sex too.
The issue is that what you have with this guy is built only on sex. Therefore, the chances are that he will only ever see you for sex. In fact, give... (read in full...)
My friend thinks she pregnant and I want to help her but I don't know how
Q. My friend think she's pregnant because she missed her period this month.(She's been with her boy friend for 4 years and they love each other a lot, so the fact that they are having sex is not really a big deal) She's only 16 and I don't know what to ...
A. 1 December 2010: The very first thing she has to to do is a pregnancy test. She needs to be sure whether she's pregnant or not. So, go with her and get a test and find out whether she's pregnant or not. Start there, and see what happens. ... (read in full...)
What do guys look for when they want a long term relationship?
Q. What do guys look for in a girl they want to date/have a long term relationship with?...
A. 1 December 2010: Lots of things. There's no set list. But, if you're caring, confident, independent and loyal, then that will be a great start and guys will notice you for that. But there is no set list that guys adhere too. We mostly look for a connection, then ... (read in full...)
I caught him acting deceitful but I did it while spying
Q. I'm involved with a man that I'm deeply in love with but do not trust. In the past he hid the fact that he was still with his ex and had a secret text relationship with her (if not more). He promised he would change and after 5 breakups things ...
A. 1 December 2010: You do need to let him go. From the start, this guy has been a liar and cheat. And there has been no trust because of it. I think it's pretty clear that he's cheating again, or always has been.
This guy is a total waste of time, and you can do so m... (read in full...)
What happens when 2 very controlling people date each other
Q. Does anyone know what happens when 2 very controlling people date each other? What happens in that relationship? Do they stay together for long? What's readers experiences? Thanks! Any comments would be greatly appreciated!!!...
A. 1 December 2010: It would fall apart in a matter of weeks. There is no way that you can have two controlling people in a relationship. It just wouldn't work. ... (read in full...)
He still hasn't called it quits with her, even though he knows that I'm fully prepared to love and be with him!
Q. I love him. About a month ago my very good friend asked me to the movies. I accepted and when I arrived asked how his GF was doing, we will call her Sarah. Sarah decided they needed a break two days previous...so he was upset. I ended up tryi...
A. 1 December 2010: No matter how much you love him, if he doesn't feel the same way for you, it won't work out. And I'm afraid he doesn't feel the same way.
The truth is, his head and heart are elsewhere. He clearly still cares for this 'Sarah', and there is noth... (read in full...)
Have I blown my second chance with her?
Q. Hi everybody. My girlfriend broke up with me in early July because she was no longer happy the way the relationship was going. Basically I wasn't doing the things she liked with her. I was not appreciating her. I was taking her for granted. I ...
A. 1 December 2010: This seems unlucky, when first read.
But, then again, maybe it's not so unlucky. Look at this. You're with your girlfriend, and for ages she says nothing about any problems. There was no specific communication from her at all. Suddenly, she brok... (read in full...)
I really need some advice. Is he cheating? Should I apologize? Did I make a horrible mistake?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly 3 years now. Which is quite a long time for both me and him - I've never had a relationship last this long before. I love him with all my heart. I'd lay my life on the line for him. The problem ...
A. 1 December 2010: Well, he cheated once before, so there is that chance he's doing it. And his behaviour suggests that something is wrong. But, even if he's not, just look at this relationship of yours. You feel lonely, he's not in contact that much, he doesn't seem ... (read in full...)
I'm not happy with my boyfriend and have feelings for his best friend, what should I do?
Q. I like my boyfriends friend and I don't know what to do? So here it goes this story may be long, crazy and strange. and please don't be rude believe me i already feel weird enough... okay so i have been with my bf for 2yrs (we will call him bo...
A. 30 November 2010: Dump your boyfriend and move on. You don't really love Bob, and you've not been happy with him for a while. So what's the point in staying in a relationship with a guy who you're not happy with. You might as well let him go so he can find someone ... (read in full...)
My ex girlfriend has left me for another guy but I still love her, is there any chance of winning her back?
Q. Hi there all. This is my first major break up, my girlfriend of 3 years recently went to university, i was seeing her every weekend, in till during the week she broke up with me and got with another guy. The way she did it was so awful, i d...
A. 30 November 2010: Why do you want her back? She's the ultimate failure as a girlfriend. She was with you all that time, then she just dumped you in a bad way and got with another guy. She's useless as a girlfriend. This is the very sort of person you shouldn't be ... (read in full...)
One day he said he would love me forever, the next day he hates me and has found a new partner!
Q. I Was in a relationship for 6 years on and off for a year because another person they went with we got back together 2 years now we became partners a month ago a week later they text me they dont love me and is with another person already! how can ...
A. 30 November 2010: I'm afraid all his words ultimately were worthless, since the relationship was always on/off over six years, and he left you once for someone else.
This is a case of settling. You're settling for someone who simply can't commit, and is kind of usin... (read in full...)
I keep finding texts on my husbands phone, am I flogging a dead horse here or should I try and make this work?
Q. three weeks ago i found some texts on my husbands phone (he had been out drinking all night with his mates again, and obviously got careless and forgot to delete them) they were not text that i would send to just a friend. "I would give anything to ...
A. 30 November 2010: Get a lawyer and take him for all he's worth. He's cheating, he drinks too much, he's blaming you for his own mistakes, and he even liked about it having stopped. They're not just sex texts. He's been having sex with this woman, and he his now ... (read in full...)
I pressured him into leaving his wife for me and now I havent heard from him in 2 weeks!
Q. i just broken up with my ex bf for 5yrs.then i met a man who made me happy.im at first we met on friendster and said he was single.he lied..he is married. We are madly in love with each other.he told me that he will divorce his wife. I pressured him ...
A. 30 November 2010: I suspect that this wife has given him an ultimatum. She'll have said to him that the only way she'll stay is if he cuts contact. And that's what he did. He chose her, and didn't say goodbye because she prevented him from doing that. Whether he ... (read in full...)
I pressured him into leaving his wife for me and now I havent heard from him in 2 weeks!
Q. i just broken up with my ex bf for 5yrs.then i met a man who made me happy.im at first we met on friendster and said he was single.he lied..he is married. We are madly in love with each other.he told me that he will divorce his wife. I pressured him ...
A. 30 November 2010: He's a liar, that's all there is to it. He's not trapped, or kept in a cage. He chose to cheat on this wife. He has now chosen to go back to her. He can walk away any time he likes, even if she is dragging it out. He can go get all the papers ready. ... (read in full...)
I'm worried I might be losing my hair at 17!
Q. I am a 17 year old of afraid losing my hair, i started to notice that on my receding hairlines i see some thin spots but some times they grow back and fall out again ,is that a bad sign ? I asked my mother about that and she said that everybody ...
A. 30 November 2010: Bleaching could be causing the hair loss, or stress could be causing it. And yes, the depression could be causing it. Whatever the cause, it might be worth you going to the doctor and getting yourself checked out. You need to know if you're allergic ... (read in full...)
Has anyone got any good pickup lines?
Q. there is a girl who i have a crush on but i dont know what to say to her when i ask her out, any good pickup lines?...
A. 30 November 2010: There's really no such thing as a good pick-up line. There a player's lines, and corny lines.
My advice if you really like this girl is to just tell her that you really like her, and would like to ask her out. That gets to the point, so she know... (read in full...)
I pressured him into leaving his wife for me and now I havent heard from him in 2 weeks!
Q. i just broken up with my ex bf for 5yrs.then i met a man who made me happy.im at first we met on friendster and said he was single.he lied..he is married. We are madly in love with each other.he told me that he will divorce his wife. I pressured him ...
A. 30 November 2010: I'm afraid I agree with Honeypie. Everything he has done is typical of a cheating, lying man. You have no idea whether he is telling the truth about his wife. You don't know her. Chances are she's a very nice lady. But you know that this man has ... (read in full...)
I feel doomed to a very lonely sex life at 36!
Q. I have the most thoughtful and loving partner i've ever had (Except in the bedroom). We've been together 2 years now and it's gotten worse. He's 34 and does a very physical job for a living, has a long drive there and back and does get up very ...
A. 30 November 2010: I think you both need to sit down and re-evaluate the relationship here. You need to gently explain that whilst you understand he works, you feel that the relationship, including sex life, is now suffering. Maybe he needs to look around at new jobs ... (read in full...)
I feel doomed to a very lonely sex life at 36!
Q. I have the most thoughtful and loving partner i've ever had (Except in the bedroom). We've been together 2 years now and it's gotten worse. He's 34 and does a very physical job for a living, has a long drive there and back and does get up very ...
A. 30 November 2010: I think you both need to sit down and re-evaluate the relationship here. You need to gently explain that whilst you understand he works, you feel that the relationship, including sex life, is now suffering. Maybe he needs to look around at new jobs ... (read in full...)
I'm scared that my boyfriend is cheating on me!
Q. I love my boyfriend so much, that i would do almost anything for him. I love him and i tell him that i love him every night. He says he loves me too but i am convinced he is cheating. Well it started like this... I went on our shared laptop an...
A. 29 November 2010: He is absolutely a cheater. Without even a shred of doubt, he is a cheater. Dump him. ... (read in full...)
Should I get my ex a Christmas and a birthday gift?
Q. I was just wanting an opinion about getting an ex girlfriend a present for her birthday and gift for Christmas (her b-day is early in the month and then I was just thinking getting her something small for Christmas). She has a boyfriend and I ...
A. 29 November 2010: You shouldn't get your ex anything. She's an ex who now has a boyfriend. That's all there is to it, and to give her a gift would be to do that same as happened to you. Also, it might make you look desperate or something.
Don't send her anyt... (read in full...)
How do I get him back?
Q. My boyfriend of 1 year and I have broken up. We have a make up to break up kind of relationship. We fight and argue a lot which always end up with a breakup and then we get back together in a day or less. We weren't like this all the time and I ...
A. 29 November 2010: What relationship? From what you're saying, there is no relationship. This is more like two people who lead totally different lives, come together, break up, then come together and break up again and again. There's no way this can work. Especially ... (read in full...)
What could I do to get him? Should I try making him jealous?
Q. Heey. I recently broke things off with the guy i liked because he said he isn't looking for a relationship as he isn't willing to work and is too immature for one. He said that he prefers to be single. He also implied he isn't looking for sex beca...
A. 29 November 2010: 1 - Never make a man jealous. It never works. Women have tried that over the years, and it just doesn't work. It will just make you seem desperate and immature. A girl tried to make me jealous a few years ago, and I just didn't ever bother with her ... (read in full...)
Is this a normal reaction from a guy? is what he is asking within reason?
Q. this is gonna sound mental but here goes... my bf of 6 months is a swinger now thats cool with me cause im a swinger too though he didnt know that at the time, i dont know why i didnt tell him straight i sought of hinted to him that i was bad girl...
A. 29 November 2010: The word 'HYPOCRITE' comes to mind here.
This is the normal reaction of any arrogant, uncaring and controlling man. It's not the normal reaction of a decent man.
What he is asking, is that you give up all your fun, for him, even though he will ... (read in full...)
I pressured him into leaving his wife for me and now I havent heard from him in 2 weeks!
Q. i just broken up with my ex bf for 5yrs.then i met a man who made me happy.im at first we met on friendster and said he was single.he lied..he is married. We are madly in love with each other.he told me that he will divorce his wife. I pressured him ...
A. 29 November 2010: Exactly what the others said. I'm afraid this relationship was built upon a cruel lie, and you became a part of that lie. I'm glad you pressured him into leaving though - it showed he never would. He doesn't love you, I'm afraid, and he most ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid of the responsibility that comes with turning 18!
Q. I am 17 years old but I am scared of turning 18 because i feel like i will "officially" be legal and thats just too much. Not just the whole sex thing but the responsibilities that come with it. Any advice?...
A. 29 November 2010: As actor James Cagney once said "Say what you believe, and believe what you say."
That pretty much sums it all up. Be honest, be a good person, work hard and listen. You don't have anything to worry about until you start to rebel, or you come off ... (read in full...)
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