A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:well.. i just met my bf 3 months ago.i became crazy about him.wanted him he has a great mind great body.he's complete for me.lately i had problems with my family and work because of him.everybody thinks he's a bad guy they want me away from him.anyway.i stood up against them cuz he's the one who matters to me most.so .. last time i was asking him after sex..do i have a wide vegina?so he said " well. yea a little" and from what i know.guys dont like that.from that time till NOW..i am not enjoying sex with him anymore.i want him so much..i wanna satisfy him in any kind of way.. but i cant.i'm not liking it.and he noticed lately and told me i am not enjoying but i denied.did this happen to me because of all the stress i had from people i know about him or because of what he said? what should i do to go back to my normal sex life...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 November 2010):
Your boyfriend really isn't that great. When friends and family are telling you that he's not a good guy within 3 months, and when he's stupid enough to say you have a wide vagina, you're with the wrong guy.
The most important thing is that you understand there is nothing wrong with you.
The second most important thing is that you seriously listen to those people around you who are telling that he's a problem and is no good.
Listen carefully to the advice of those who are telling you he is bad. I'm telling you, just from what he said, he's not that great.
A
female
reader, BarbieMeYou +, writes (24 November 2010):
catflap thank you :D
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A
female
reader, BarbieMeYou +, writes (24 November 2010):
first of all thank you all :)) but the thing is i told him couple of days ago that the thing he said made me not enjoy sex anymore . since then he's telling me how sorry he is.. but still that isn't the cure for me.. anyway.. thank you all :)) specially almasdp :))
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (24 November 2010):
 In the short term you can do some exercises called Kegels, which if you do enough will give you a kung fu grip down there.
But I have to say it's not a good sign that your boyfriend is causing problems after only three months. I can see maybe your family and him rubbing each other the wrong way, but he's causing problems at your job? That is pretty serious. Tread carefully with this relationship, because your family and friends may be right about him.
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (24 November 2010):
 God! He's knocked your confidence and made you self conscious. That's why you're not enjoying it! What a thing to say! That would be like you telling him he has a kinda small knob. To any guy that would knock their confidence a bit. Mind you, you did ask for it. You asked him a yes or no question and put him in a corner. It's like asking "does my bum look big in this?" Don't ever ask these questions if you can't handle knowing the honest truth.
As for what everyone else thinks of him. If you do love him, then don't listen to other people who try to split you up. It is your life and your choice who you date. Only you can know if he is a good guy who treats you well. If he doesn not, you will have to be the one to realise this, not anyone else.
I think you need to talk to him about what he said about your vagina. He has noticed that something is up because he thinks you are not enjoying it. Next time the issue comes up, just tell him that what he said to you really made you insecure about having sex. Tell him it hurt you and made you stop enjoying sex with him, because now you are worrying about this all the time. Ask him how he would feel if you told him his penis was a little bit small? Make him see your point of view. He needs to make it up to you. What he said was unfair.
Asides from him, you need to try not to worry about what he said. Everyone has a different size and shape vagina. Unless you are a porn star who has sex with really huge guys every day or you are a mother of 6 children, I would imagine you have a perfectly NORMAL size vagina. They all feel the same when a guy is inside you. Your vaginal muscles loosen up when you are aroused anyway, to let the penis fit in. So stop worrying. Don't let one comment stop you enjoying sex!
It's my guess that he said it because he is insecure in himself and about the relationship, and wants to make you insecure too. That is not a very loving thing to do. But then he could have just been honest, in a very immature way! If he was experienced with women and mature, he would nit say such a thing!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2010): STOP worrying about the size of your vagina, START concentrating on YOU and enjoying making love with your boyfriend. Not sure why you asked such a question, who would..bit like a guy having great sex with his girlfriend, then saying is my penis too small, whatever she answered, he is likely to be worried or make something of it, as you have.
What guys like, is a woman who can really enjoy sex, let go, be expressive and take an active part in lovemaking, NO hang-ups, including size, you're making way too much of this.
Next you'll be asking about the size of your butt, or breasts, please DON'T. Just get on with enjoying it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2010): ok now first of all theres nothing wrong with your vagina everyone is different, there are other people out the with wider/narrower ones out there than you.
secondly stress shouldnt make anything widen so there is no need to worry about that.
also you might want to talk to your BF about sex in general and see if he still enjoys it, and if he does then you have nothing to worry about, if he doesnt (which he wont as hes a guy ;)) then you need to find out why.
theres nothing wrong about you, I've had sex with women that have been really wide or really tight and it doesnt matter if your with that person because you want to be then sex is just a bonus, you dont need sex to be in love
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A
female
reader, Catflap1 +, writes (24 November 2010):
You haven't had a child so you haven't got a problem. He just took the chance to reduce your confidence and that is not good. We are all different and your poor body was put together the way it is so love it and perhaps think a bit less of him. You need to tell him why he has hurt you and he has some damage to undo now. Some guys don't like that? Who said you had to be one thing or another and pay homage to those kind of ideals? Men who say that I think may have used their own hands to masturbate and forget that a vagina is supposed to be soft and accomodating. The more turned on a women is the more it accomodates and the wetter it gets. It is about more than feeling pressure, it is all the emotions and, the sexiness that count. You are not just a vagina!
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