| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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What do I say to the girl that I really like?
Q. There's a girl i have a massive crush on in University. We're both comfortable with each other and we dance together whenever we go out and she doesn't mind me touching her at all. Thing is though, i'm really scared to tell her how i feel. I wanted ...
A. 13 December 2010: Good luck!... (read in full...)
What do I say to the girl that I really like?
Q. There's a girl i have a massive crush on in University. We're both comfortable with each other and we dance together whenever we go out and she doesn't mind me touching her at all. Thing is though, i'm really scared to tell her how i feel. I wanted ...
A. 13 December 2010: This is one of those 'go for broke' moments. You've got to make this good.
First rule - No drinking tonight. At all. If you want to make a decent impression, you need to be sober. There are few girls that are impressed by drunk men asking them... (read in full...)
He cheated on his ex, and now I've found out he kissed other girls whilst with me....am I being fooled?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for two years. And previous to me he went out with a girl for a year and half. He always told me he never cheated on her but I recently he told me he slept with a couple of other girls when he was with her because he ...
A. 13 December 2010: Absolutely dump him.
First of all, you can nearly always judge someone from how they were in a previous relationship. If they cheated previously, the probably will again, If they hit someone previously, they probably will again. If they're nast... (read in full...)
We're just like 2 magnets drawn to one another!
Q. I have been married for 5 years and have a son, i work with a woman who has a serious boyfriend and two children. We're both happy in our relationships but for some reason cannot seem to leave one another alone. We have both tried to cut ties and ...
A. 13 December 2010: Get it together, man. You're married with a son. And if you read all the news, you know that when it comes to divorce and kids, the mother usually gets preferential treatment. In other words, if you cheat and your good wife divorces, then you'll get ... (read in full...)
I found it I was pregnant and he started calling me names
Q. I am very confused and in need of advice . I hv been a commuted relationship for three years. I just found out I was pregnant , not sure how my birth control failed , I use depo shot. Anyways I told my boyfriend I was pregnant and he freaked o...
A. 13 December 2010: It never ceases to amaze me how some men are happy to have sex without a condom, then suddenly have a meltdown when a woman eventually says that she's pregnant. Even worse, this is the first time your birth control has failed and he's giving you the ... (read in full...)
Should I just give in and text him, or not bother?
Q. Hi guys, So there is this guy that I like but he doesn't seem to put too much effort in...anyways, first he started texting me and we alternately texted back and forth, but it started becoming a bit sparse. so he texted me last about a week ago...
A. 13 December 2010: I see any point, to be honest. Neither of you seem that interested. He has become sparse, and you played a game to see whether he'd text more. It just seems like neither if you are interested enough to make this go anywhere. So I say just don't ... (read in full...)
Is he too complicated?
Q. Hi all. I am 25 and from Australia. My bf is much older than me, he is 42. I have had problems as you all know about his ex wife and there divorce status. Now guys i need your help again. My boyfriend has three children from previous marriage, which ...
A. 13 December 2010: The question I have for you now, is what do you want from your life? Do you want children? A house? Holidays? What do you want from your life, because basically at this rate you won't have a life. You'll just be running around after an older man who ... (read in full...)
Will we ever get back together again?
Q. What am i gunna do?? am soo hurt:(? my boyfriend and i broke up last night we we kept arguing..he takes me for granted and he doesn't appreciate me yet he says he loves me very much and he says hes really tried but he doesn't like hurting ...
A. 13 December 2010: I'm sorry, but I don't think you two will get back together. And even if there was a chance, it would be better to just not get back together.
He takes you for granted and he doesn't appreciate you at all. Why get back with someone who cares for ... (read in full...)
Dumped by an email!
Q. I was recently dumped by email this afternoon. We had only been dating 3 months, but I personally think it is cowardly after even one date. At the time I read the email, I wrote a response that was too polite, and did not express how I actually f...
A. 13 December 2010: I think you're better leaving it where it is. Just because one person treated you this badly certainly doesn't mean that someone else will.
The reason you'd be better leaving it is because he honestly wouldn't care. And, in fact, he'd probably just... (read in full...)
Married, but I had a co-worker's baby, now what??
Q. I've been together w my husband for 81/2 years. I got pressured into having sex with a co-worker. I was too afraid to tell him no. (why , because he got mad at me if I didn't). Stupid stupid I know. I have always had zero feelings for this guy. ...
A. 12 December 2010: Walk away from your husband, now. For three reasons.
1 - He will find out. At some point, he will find out. When he finds out, he will ditch you, he will ditch the baby and there will be no chance that you will be able to move on from this. No one ... (read in full...)
My bf is abusive, what can I do to stop this??
Q. Im only 16 my boyfriend treats me really bad he pushes me screams and does all kinds of things. I try to breakup with him but then im afraid because when i do then he gets more mad and hits me. He then feels sorry and wants me to not to be mad. I ...
A. 12 December 2010: You stop it by dumping him. That's it. Tell your family what is happening, get support and get away from him.
And don't let the suicide thing get to you either. Yes, there are many people who are suicidal. But this guy sounds more like an atte... (read in full...)
Was I wrong for not calling my ex back?
Q. Hey my ex has treated me really bad for hurting him 2 years ago after I have told him I was sorry over and over. He has went off on me many times to make me feel guilty, Borrowed from me and won't pay back, and ask to get back to together just to ...
A. 12 December 2010: I would just not bother at all with this guy. At all. He sounds cruel, manipulative and uncaring, and it sounds like he's way too much of a drama queen and a liar to trust. He has no right to tell you off after what he did to you.
Do yourself and ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend still living with me but seeing other men!
Q. Ive been in a realationship with a her for 5 1/2 years. Lived with her for almost 2 1/2 years have two children one 18 months and one 8 month old. My girlfriend started seen another man well men in the last month. and still is living with me and the ...
A. 12 December 2010: Ditch her and try to get full custody. Some CCTV and audio might help your cause. This is so unsafe for your children. One of those could do something to them. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend was robbed and says that if I love him I should go cash in my bonds and give it to him
Q. My boyfriend was robbed for several hundred dollars, right before Christmas. He has a 6 yr old we've been together for 3 1/2 yrs. The past year has been rocky because he cheated on me and I'm stiiill trying to regain all the trust. He says because ...
A. 12 December 2010: You know how easy it is to fake a robbery? Really easy. And that's what he's done here. Get away from him. ... (read in full...)
I was scared to go out with him, and now he has a girlfriend!
Q. Well i have a problem with this guy... well it started in eighth grade.(now in tenth) I had told him that i liked him, and he had said that he liked me back but when he asked me out i said no because i was scared and he would be my first boyfriend, ...
A. 12 December 2010: You've still got a bit of growing to do, I think. You do seem mature, but I think there is still a lack of experience that is blinding you to a very obvious problem.
- He's a cheat.
He has a girlfriend, yet there he is touching you. And the thin... (read in full...)
How can I get this good looking boy to notice me with all of these other good looking girls around?
Q. well i am 16 and i am in my first year of college,i wouldnt say that i am beautifull or any of that becasue i dont have much confidence in my apperiance but i do in my personlaity even though a lot of peaple say i am stunning and i turn heads but i ...
A. 12 December 2010: HE ALREADY HAS NOTICED YOU!
Why do you think he spent his time waving to you and staring at you? It's not about him noticing you anymore. It's about whether he knows you're interested in him. So, if you are, go and talk to him and maybe ask him ... (read in full...)
I wasn't who he thought I was... haven't heard from him in 5 days, help!
Q. Hey... so I did a very bad thing.. I lied to this guy over the internet about my appearance (not by choice) I just got caught up in something that I never should have been. soo.. yea it was this one dating site called Tagged.. anywayz at first I ...
A. 10 December 2010: You lied to him, and this is the price of that lie. And yes it was your choice to lie. In the future, never lie about who you are. People just don't like it.... (read in full...)
Why is he making it out to be all my fault when he has a hand in it too?
Q. theres a guy that has been in a relationship with a girl for 8years that i fell for and i fell hard but ive known him for a long time well i cheated on my boyfriend with him and hes making it all my fault why is he making it to be all my fault?...
A. 9 December 2010: Because you were the one who cheated, and whilst it may not be all your fault, you've now done something that has made everything worse, and shown the lowest amount of love and respect you possibly can.
This is exactly why no one should cheat. The ... (read in full...)
I can't wait much longer to be given the title of his wife, do you think he'll give it to me?
Q. Its been just over 5 years with my fiance, we have a house, a 3year old, lots of debt...We have had a wonderful 5 years together. Like any relationship, we have had ups and downs....Last year I proposed to him. We have always agreed we want to spend ...
A. 9 December 2010: The problem is that you're forcing the issue of marriage whilst there are clearly huge issues in your relationship. You two getting married would be a huge mistake right now. There is no trust, he's emotionally cheated and you're in debt. This would ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for believing in my values of a marriage?
Q. My husband have been together for 18 years and have 3 children. For the last 2 years we have been having problems and it started out with stupid small things like he doesn't do this and she does that. But for the last year year has started texting ...
A. 9 December 2010: You've got to tell him as soon as you can that you're feeling as if the marriage is falling apart, and that you are unhappy about these other women and would like to go to counselling with him to work through the problems you're having as a couple. ... (read in full...)
Is it unreasonable of me to ask my boyfriend to invite me to co-ed parties his ex will be at?
Q. Is it unreasonable of me to ask my boyfriend to invite me to mixed parties that my boyfriend's ex is at? He excludes me from 90% of them because he says he wants to be able to hang out with them alone. But they go partying, and drinking and eve...
A. 9 December 2010: I think when you're getting to the stage when you have to effectively order that your boyfriend takes you to parties and such, then really your relationship is in trouble. He might want to go alone, but if others are bringing their girlfriends, and ... (read in full...)
My wife has feelings for a much younger "friend".
Q. Dear Cupid, how is everyone doing. I am a happily married man with a sitaution. My wife has admitted to me that she had an affair with a younger man and said that she was falling in love with him. But the whole time, she said that she never fell ...
A. 9 December 2010: To be honest, I wouldn't take this marriage any further. I don't see how it can work at all. She's said, that basically she would ditch you if he had more money. So you're basically an ATM machine to her. I don't think your wife is worth your time ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for believing in my values of a marriage?
Q. My husband have been together for 18 years and have 3 children. For the last 2 years we have been having problems and it started out with stupid small things like he doesn't do this and she does that. But for the last year year has started texting ...
A. 9 December 2010: It's clearly not right, especially given that one was his first love, which is usually the recipe for disaster in this situation.
I think that there are more problems in your marriage than both of you realize or have spoken about, and I think if y... (read in full...)
I get that guys love their friends, but is it fair that I'm always second best?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 5 months now, some days he will tell me he loves me and thinks I'm great other days he barely speaks to me. Then we had this whole argument of how he chose me over his friends and he never got to see them, ...
A. 9 December 2010: The issue is that you're ready for a relationship, whereas your boyfriend is not. Boys take longer to mature than girls, and this is one of the problems in teenage years. Most girls are ready for dating, whereas most boys just don't really get it at ... (read in full...)
I am afraid I am infertile and wont be able to have a child!
Q. i am starting to get more and more of a fear of not been able to have a child when i am older.... i have had loads of health problems these past 2 years i dont mean with my periods or any thing... but i do get really bad periods bad pains and ha...
A. 9 December 2010: You must go to the doctor immediately and get checked for STDs and any other health conditions. Be open and honest, and it will make it easier for them to find any problems. Hopefully, if you do have anything, you'll be treated and it will be okay. ... (read in full...)
Should I settle for the unfit woman or wait patiently for the woman who is respectable?
Q. Hey I'm looking for some thoughts on my situation. I've taken a liking for a woman I met 2 months ago. The thing is I've since found she has a history of messing with married men and married women. She's also a compulsive lier but I'm still attrac...
A. 9 December 2010: Compulsive liar...messing around with married men and woman...broken up a few marriages.
I think this woman is a liability. You stand a very large chance of getting hurt because of all this. And if you think that she's unfit for marriage now, then... (read in full...)
Should I tell his girlfriend about him? Should I name and shame him on the radio?
Q. I cant get this guy out of my head. I was interested in this guy who I worked with nothing ever happened then one day he grabbed me and we kissed and then nothing happened for a few months and on a night out we kissed again then nothing happened ...
A. 9 December 2010: Just leave him well alone and never contact him. All that would happen is that you would get the blame, and he would spin a load of lies to blame you. You have no real proof that anything happened, so he might be able to sue if you name him. Also, ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend won't use condoms because he says they're gross and smell bad!
Q. Hi Im 21 years old and i have been with my boyfreind for 4 years and recently he wont use condoms he says that they are gross they smell and that he cant feel anything when they are on and he gets turned off. it make me upset that he doesnt want to ...
A. 8 December 2010: This guy is so full of crap, it's beyond me. "If you make me use condoms, I'll dump you and go elsewhere" is basically what's being said.
There's so much wrong here that it could almost be the world's worst joke. Except it's not!
1 - He clearly ... (read in full...)
After almost two years I asked that he commit to me and he found it absurd!
Q. This is going to sound a little crazy...for two years I have been seeing a guy, who for the first 10 months told me we could not be together properly because he was still really close to his ex and they still saw alot of eachother. So we could only ...
A. 8 December 2010: I honestly wouldn't bother with this guy. No guy is worth this treatment.
At the time you met, he was still close to his ex and seeing her a lot (meaning there's a high chance he was cheating on her or something.)
Then he kept saying you couldn't... (read in full...)
Should my best friend tell her parents that she is going to stay at her boyfriend's house?
Q. sick of them going on about it . all my friends keep going on about my best friends boyfriend .and how she needs to tell her parents the truth but to be quiet honest why should she tell them she is going her bf's when they don't agree on her seei...
A. 7 December 2010: She probably should. But she won't. And it's not your job to tell them on your behalf.
I would suggest to her that she just focuses on her GCSE's, rather than him. And also explain that you won't be drawn into lying for her, because you don't want... (read in full...)
I feel like I am at the bottom of his list
Q. My partner of 8 years decided 3/ 4 months ago that he wanted to have some time apart. He said that he loved me but he needed this. Since we have been apart i have only seen him 3 times, the reasons which he said he needed time apart was he...
A. 7 December 2010: To be honest, it doesn't sound like he's mature enough to be in a relationship. You're in your twenties, but he's acting more like a teenage boy. You're not even second best. It just doesn't sound like he's committed, or ready for a relationship as ... (read in full...)
Want a baby, but what about the risk of STD's?
Q. ok. what if you don't want to get STD's but u want 2 get pregnant. what do u do?...
A. 7 December 2010: You and your partner would need to get tested for STD's. If you are both clean, then you'll be safe to try for a baby. ... (read in full...)
She switches boyfriends once a month, I want to be an option!
Q. I like this one girl, one of my good friends, i knew her in elementary school but then we went to different middle schools, and just this year we both started going to the same high school. I can' take my eyes off her and we talk a lot and text a ...
A. 7 December 2010: Well, you're smarter than me, that's for sure (My IQ's something like 130). But, I'm glad you think logically, because maybe that's what's needed. I look at things very logically, and when you do, sometimes you can see past all the glossy emotions ... (read in full...)
He only seems interested in computer games and compost pile!
Q. I have been with my husband for 5 years and married 2. We have two children. We are having a problem in our marriage. We have been fighting for 3 years. We have some major cracks in our marriage. From money, to his parents, to the house we live in, ...
A. 7 December 2010: Do you understand what will happen if you have an affair, and it comes out?
1 - There is a high chance your children will discover it one day, and you can be sure they won't forgive you for it.
2 - All that is wrong in your marriage will be blame... (read in full...)
She switches boyfriends once a month, I want to be an option!
Q. I like this one girl, one of my good friends, i knew her in elementary school but then we went to different middle schools, and just this year we both started going to the same high school. I can' take my eyes off her and we talk a lot and text a ...
A. 7 December 2010: Please don't be a stubborn teenage boy. I was a stubborn teenage boy, and it got me nowhere. When asking for advice, you can't pick and choose. We're not yes men. We're here to offer advice. And that's what I'll do.
Every person on this site will... (read in full...)
I can't compete with his ex fiance!
Q. hey everyone :) Iv been with my boyfriend for 8months. Before i met him, he lived in america at uni for 5 years. he was with his ex for 4 years and they were engaged.he met me and split up with his ex for me, but i felt terrible about it!but h...
A. 6 December 2010: Thank you Nime for pointing that out. Appreciated. Pity my country doesn't do that!
Even so OP, it wasn't like your boyfriend did all that paperwork for his fiance, which he would have if he cared that much. ... (read in full...)
Had enough of my fiance's mum!
Q. I've had enough with my mother in law to be,I've been with my fiancé for 5years and were both 22years old,I'm absolutely fed up of how his mum treats me,she had obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and she is a alcoholic and she never eats, I've just ...
A. 6 December 2010: If my mother ever talked to my girlfriend like this, I'd cut contact with my mother. That's how badly you're being treated. And worse, your fiance, your Knight in Shining Armour, stands around and lets it happen.
My own mother had this prob... (read in full...)
I'lll never be able to accept he's with other women!
Q. Right, this is the first time I've ever done this so bear with me. I was with my ex for over 2 and a half years. When it was good, it was amazing and when it was bad, it was absolutely awful. I have a lot of insecurities and trust issues (w...
A. 6 December 2010: In this case, if you haven't got the time for counselling, you're in real trouble.
The problem with the human mind, is that rather than seek out what's right, or what's happy, or what's better, it chooses to seek out what's familiar.
By that, I ... (read in full...)
My dad got mad because I wrote a guy's initials and a heart on my hand?
Q. ok so my dad just pissed me off...i didnt know where else to go to get my mind off it and get some advice. i have a friend named Jared who i REALLY like. he likes me but the thing is he has 3 other girlfriends and im afraid to get hurt. and also ...
A. 6 December 2010: Thank God for your Dad. Whilst his reaction may be a little strong, I think we're all in agreement that the guy you like is a player who doesn't care about anything but getting notches on his bedpost. Sometimes it's good to listen to your parents. ... (read in full...)
I can't compete with his ex fiance!
Q. hey everyone :) Iv been with my boyfriend for 8months. Before i met him, he lived in america at uni for 5 years. he was with his ex for 4 years and they were engaged.he met me and split up with his ex for me, but i felt terrible about it!but h...
A. 6 December 2010: He didn't love her. And I can prove it.
1 - He would have tried to extend his visa
2 - He could have married her on the spot, in which case he would have had automatic citizenship.
3 - He actually broke it off for you.
The only person maki... (read in full...)
He's sure I cheated so he's going to cheat too
Q. My BF constantly accuses me of lying and is insistent that I have cheated on him on more than 1 occasion. In fact, I have never cheated on him. I don't know what to do to convince him. Now, he has "assumed" since he "knows" I have cheated on him ...
A. 3 December 2010: Like the others, I think he's either cheated or he's looking for an excuse to cheat. To be honest, I wouldn't even bother trying to rescue this. This guy sounds like someone you shouldn't be around. ... (read in full...)
She's out of league, is it wrong to ask her out?
Q. Well, there is this girl I like and we are pretty good friends. Even though we dont go to the same school, she and I sometimes talk text, or facebook chat with each other. But the problem is she said she likes tall guys but Im only 5'9" and she gets ...
A. 3 December 2010: I'm a 'average joe' really. I'm a plumber, and at the moment I'm unemployed. I'm broke. Yet my girlfriend is the finest woman I know, and all because I took the chance in talking to her and letting her get to know me over time.
There is no leag... (read in full...)
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